Nick: Those drums were my personal property.
Mr. Andopolis (Kevin Tighe): Your only personal property is your future.
Nick: Maybe the drums were my future. Why don’t you think about that.
Mr. Andopolis: End of conversation.
Ken: Grateful Dead. Music sucks. Chicks are hot.
Lindsay: Dad, give me one good reason why a woman can’t be president.
Mr. Weir: We’re talking about three irrational days a month. Now, I would have no problem with the other 27, but we’re talking about the atomic bomb here.
Bill: What if he starts going out with Cindy and stops hanging out with us?
Neal: He won’t. He’ll get us in with Cindy’s friends. Like Vicki. Oh man I love her.
Bill: I thought you said they were pod people. “A cult’, you said.
Neal: Well they are. But I mean that’s one cult I wouldn’t mind joining. Bring on the pods.
Harold Weir: By the way, that drummer you’re listening to?
Mr. Weir: He’s terrible.
Nick: That’s Neil Peart. He’s the greatest drummer alive.
Mr. Weir: Neil Peart couldn’t drum his way out of a paper bag!
Sam: I don’t think Nick’s in love with you. I think he’s in love with Mom and Dad.
Vicki (Joanna Garcia): Just stay away from me, okay? You are not going to touch me and you are definitely not going to kiss me. Okay?
Bill: You know, you know what? You’re a jerk.
Vicki: Excuse me?
Bill: You’re a jerk. I was just trying to make small talk. I couldn’t be less happy to be in here with you. So quit acting like I’m hoping I can kiss you. It’s actually the last thing that I want to do right now.
Bill: I think people treat you nicer when you’re pretty.
Vicki: Why would you say that?
Bill: Because they’re never nice to me.
Vicki: That is not true, Bill. Every time I look at you, you look like you’re having a pretty good time.
Vicki: Yeah. You’re always laughing or something. So what are you laughing about?
Bill: I watch movies in my head.
Lindsay: I just wish you could talk to me like you talk to Nick.
Mr. Weir: You know what the difference is between you and Nick? You’re my daughter. Every second you’re out of this house, every second that I can’t see you or know what you’re doing, it’s absolute torture for me.
Lindsay: Dad, I can’t stay inside all the time.
Mr. Weir: I know. Why not?