Mr. Fleck (Steve Higgins): You get called geeks. You get cleaned out. Girls don't even look at ya— Bill: I thought this was supposed to make us feel better. Mr. Fleck: Hold on, Cool Breeze. It gets better. “What? I'm accepted at a Ivy League college?” “Hey, chicks did smart guys. Who knew.” “Woah. Look…
Mrs. Weir: So I hear something very exciting is happening this week at school. Cindy: That's right. Vice President George Herbert Walker Bush is coming to our school to speak at an assembly in the cafeteria. Mr. Weir: You know, everyone's a Democrat until they get a little money. Then they come to their senses. Ken:…
Nick: Those drums were my personal property. Mr. Andopolis (Kevin Tighe): Your only personal property is your future. Nick: Maybe the drums were my future. Why don't you think about that. Mr. Andopolis: End of conversation. Ken: Grateful Dead. Music sucks. Chicks are hot. Lindsay: Dad, give me one good reason why a woman can't be president.…
Sam: Bill, that is not sexy. Bill: Yes it is! Neal: Bill, it look like you're having a seizure. Bill: Sam, come on. Shake it, you won't break it. {Neal stops the music}. You cut me off mid-funk. Neal: I've discovered something that will change our lives. It brings power, respect and money. And it's…
Mr. Weir: Sure Lindsay. You can see The Who. And you can go see The Rolling Stones at Altamont too. Ken: I always say, girl plus car equals dead animal. Lindsay: Are you copying Ken's homework? Kim: Trying to. He writes like a mental patient. Neal: He's a gym teacher. There's no upward mobility. Mr.…
Nick: You know, I always noticed that the day after we have Salisbury Steak, we always have hamburgers. But then the day after that we always have meatball heroes. And a few days after that we have meatloaf. So is it the same meat? Are you guys recycling the meat? Lunchlady: It's different meat. Nick:…
Sam: Your dad's the coolest. Mr. Schweiber (Sam McMurray): I heard that! Neal: Yeah. Lindsay: Hey, at least she knows how to play an instrument. Ken: That's not playing an instrument. That's like blowing into a toilet. Lindsay: Sounds better than your singing. Ken: Lindsay, here's an idea: how about you break up our band…
Ken: We're gonna blow the roof off his garage in the most rock-tagious way. Neal: I hate being in school after it's out. Makes me feel like a janitor. Sam: What's so great about him anyway? Neal: It's the hair. Mr. Weir: I could call the police. Do you know that? I could call the…
Lindsay: This is cool. Hitchhiking. It's like in Kerouac, you know? Kim: Kerouac? Lindsay: Jack Kerouac. He wrote On the Road. Kim we've been reading it in English class the last two weeks. Where you been? Kim: All we ever do in that class is read. Ooh ooh ooh! Stick out your thumb, wouldja? Lindsay:…
Nick: Hey Lindsay, do you ever think about heavy stuff? Lindsay: Heavy stuff? Nick: Like death or the meaning of life. Lindsay: Well yeah. My grandmother died I was pretty depressed. I took it pretty hard— Nick: Yeah yeah. I knew that you were like me. I can't even talk to those other guys. Ken…
Mr. Rosso: So... I understand you and Nick Andopolis are getting pretty tight. How's that going? Lindsay: Mr. Rosso, Nick and I are just friends. That's all. Mr. Rosso: Hey, no need to explain anything to me. I got it on in a van at Woodstock so I'm not judging anybody. Mr. Rosso: You've got…
Mr. Rosso: There's two ways you can look at anything in this life. Take my job for instance. I could get up every morning and go "I don't wanna go and help a bunch of kids. I'm tired." But I don't. I get up, and put on my shirt and my tie and I say,…
Sam about Bill's black socks: You look a little bit like my grandpa. Bill: Oh yeah? Is your grandpa super cool? Coach Fredricks: Alright, simmer down petunias. Sam: Don't you think it's weird that they want us to, you know, get naked? Neal: It's not a burlesque show, Sam. They just want us to shower.…
Bill: What the hell is that? Neal: You think she's single? Bill: Looks like it's from outer space. Sam: Shut up. Coach Fredricks: Weir! Do you have something to say? Sam: No, sir. Coach Fredricks: When you get the clap because you weren't paying attention in health class is that going to be funny too?…
Millie Kentner: Hey! Those are for my French class. Daniel: But I love sprinkles! Millie: Fine just eat it. Nick: Wow. What's wrong with her? Kim: Ricky dumped her this morning. I don't know, she's on the warpath. Daniel: Wow. If she's looking for new customers, I'm up for a test drive. Kim: Shut up,…