Freaks and Geeks

Kim Kelly


Busy Philipps

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Pilot Episode

Kim (Busy Philipps): I’m cutting. Who’s got gum? Ken offers her a piece. Oh yeah, that’s real great. Why don’t you blow your nose in some bread and make me a sandwich too.
Ken: Why is everyone crawling up my butt today?

Beers and Weirs

Kim: No, what you gotta do is look for something in the store that’s expensive, but looks really cheap. And then you switch price tags with something that is really cheap. Then you gotta put the original back on it and return it for store credit. That’s how I got this jacket. Ten bucks, this thing cost me.
Ken: It’s beautiful! Clearly worth all the effort.

Tricks and Treats

Kim: Hey kid, what the hell are you eating? Is that laundry soap?
Millie: It’s Lik-m-aid. Want some?
Lindsay: Millie—
Kim: Um, I’ll pass.

Daniel: Hey, knock it off, Blondie. You’re gonna blow the speakers.
Kim: Oh I’m sorry, Grandpa. I’ll try not to blow anything of yours from now on.

Kim Kelly Is My Friend

Nick: Wow. What’s wrong with her?
Kim: Ricky dumped her this morning. I don’t know, she’s on the warpath.
Daniel: Wow. If she’s looking for new customers, I’m up for a test drive.
Kim: Shut up, Daniel.

Kim: Do you want to come over to my house for dinner?
Lindsay: Did Nick say something to you?
Kim: What do you mean?
Lindsay: Did Nick tell you to be nice to me?
Kim: Well, yeah. You know, I just figured since we have to see each other anyways all the time we may as well try to get along. So do you want to come over to my house or not?
Lindsay: I don’t know.

Kim: My aunt Kathy was so rad. She lived in LA. She was on Kojak. She doinked Ryan O’Neal once at a party.
Lindsay: Wow. She sounds awesome.
Kim: Yeah well she’s dead. She OD’ed on coke.

Kim: So you see there’s a lot riding on this dinner. I can’t lose my car. Do you get it?
Lindsay: I don’t know if I do.

Kim: My life sucks!
Lindsay: No it doesn’t.
Kim: My parents hate me, I don’t have any friends. You’re like my only friend, Lindsay. You’re a total loser. No offense.

Karen: Hey, he hit on me.
Kim: Oh yeah? Well after school I’m gonna hit on you.

Tests and Breasts


I’m with the Band

Kim: You’re a piece of work, Lindsay.

Kim: I heard that you jumped him.
Lindsay: What?
Kim: Don’t act innocent, Lindsay. I know you’re a slut.

Carded and Discarded

Daniel: Oh my god.
Kim: That was brutal.
Ken: I’ve never hated Alice Cooper as much as I do right now.
Nick: Guys, Mr. Rosso’s really good at the guitar. Some of those chords are hard.

Girlfriends and Boyfriends

Daniel: Hey. Check it out. Donkey basketball Saturday. I love those things.
Lindsay: I think they’re mean.
Kim: Oh, yeah. Like the donkeys even give a care.
Lindsay: Well how’d you like some big fat teacher on your back while you run around a gym.
Daniel: Yeah, how did your date with Fredricks go?

We’ve Got Spirit

Kim: The last time Nick got dumped he kinda went a little berserk.
Lindsay: You mean Heidi Henderson?
Kim: He told you about that?
Lindsay: No. What happened?
Kim: No. Nothing. I mean I don’t even know really.

Daniel: Man, I love the smell of gasoline.
Kim: Yeah? It gives you brain damage.

Kim: Man, I’m soaked! Will you do something, Daniel?
Daniel: Yeah? What do you want me to do? Blow on you?
Ken: That better have been water. That’s all I’m sayin’.

Kim: Come on, Daniel. Kick his ass!
Lincoln Kid: Kick my ass?
Daniel: Tell my mother that I love her.

The Diary

Lindsay: This is cool. Hitchhiking. It’s like in Kerouac, you know?
Kim: Kerouac?
Lindsay: Jack Kerouac. He wrote On the Road. Kim we’ve been reading it in English class the last two weeks. Where you been?
Kim: All we ever do in that class is read. Ooh ooh ooh! Stick out your thumb, wouldja?
Lindsay: We’re so sheltered, you know? There’s this whole other America out there. The person who picks us up could be an artist or a psychic or an escaped felon. It’s so exciting.
Kim: Okay, one thing that helps: point your boobs towards the road.

Kim: Who does she think she is anyway?
Daniel: I don’t know. Let’s talk about it for four more hours and try to find out.

Kim: Oh my god! Lindsay, your parents are swingers.
Lindsay: Oh.

Looks and Books

Daniel: You know, who asked her to hang out with us anyways? Like we need her little judgments all the time.
Kim: My life ain’t a lost cause, you know. Her’s is.
Ken: She’s just a big baby. I told you that from day one. It’s like hanging out with my grandma.
Daniel: Yeah. Well. Little Miss Perfect doesn’t know what I’m going to do with my life. She doesn’t know what my plans are.
Ken: What the hell are your plans?
Daniel: I got a lot of plans.
Ken: Like?
Daniel: What are you, my guidance counselor?

Nick: You guys, I’m telling you. It’s not about the accident. Lindsay’s depressed that I broke up with her. She’s gotta get over it, you know?
Kim: Yeah Nick. Sure.

The Garage Door

Lindsay: I’m not going to want him back.
Kim: Alright. Yeah. Sure. Just don’t lead him on, okay? ‘Cause he’s obviously still in love with you.
Lindsay: No he’s not. Nick is the one who broke up with me, remember?
Kim: Oh yeah Lindsay. Like that fooled anybody. Come on!

Ken: Hey Sergeant Pepper, where’s the rest of the Lonely Hearts Club Band?
Amy Andrews (Jessica Campbell): Well looks like you ate ’em.
Kim: Yeah, Ken. When are the twins due?
Daniel: That’s not nice.

Chokin’ and Tokin’

Noshing and Moshing

Smooching and Mooching

The Little Things



Disco and Dragons

Mrs. Bronner: Ladies, I’m not joking. Put out those cigarettes.
Kim: Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were joking.