Santa Claus (Nick Frost): Moron! Numbskull! Elf! Ian (Dan Starkey): That's racist! Santa Claus: Of course it's not racist. You are an elf. Chimneys? Ian: I'm sorry? Santa Claus: I'm just checking that you can see these massive chimneys. Ian: They're hard to miss! Santa Claus: Well as you've clearly demonstrated, Ian. Ian: You know no one really likes the tangerines…

Once there was a planet much like any other. And unimportant. This planet sent the universe a message. A bell, tolling among the stars, ringing out to all the dark corners of creation. And everybody came to see. Although no one understood the message, everyone who heard it found themselves afraid. Except one man. The…

England 1842 The Snowman: Don't need anyone else. I can help you. Walter (Cameron Strefford): How? 50 Years Later Dr. Simeon (Richard E. Grant): The last of the arrivals has been sampled. The Snow Entity: The great swarm is approaching. As humanity celebrates, so shall it end. Will the final piece be ready? Dr. Simeon:…

The Doctor: Come here, spacesuit. Come to Doctor. Madge Arwel (Claire Skinner): Are you alright? Are you hurt? Did you fall? {she looks up} Where did you fall from? The Doctor: Helmet. Madge: Alright. Just, just let me.... I don't want to hurt you. {she flips up the visor} Oh! The Doctor: I can't see.…

Rory: So does this mean he's coming or does this mean I need to change the bulb? The Doctor: Come along Pond Captain (Pooky Quesnel): What does that mean? Amy: It's Christmas. Kazran Sardick (Michael Gambon): On every world, wherever people are, in the deepest part of the winter, at the exact mid-point, everybody stops…

President of the Time Lords (Timothy Dalton): What news of the Doctor? The Chancellor (Joe Dixon): Disappeared, my Lord President. The Partisan (Julie Legrand): But we know his intention. He still possesses the Moment. And he'll use it to destroy Daleks and Time Lords alike. The Chancellor: The Visionary confirms it. The Visionary (Brid Brennan):…

The Narrator: It is said that in the final days of Planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams. To the west of the north of that world, the human race did gather. In celebration of a pagan rite to banish the cold and the dark. Each and every one of those people had dreamt of the…

The Doctor: You there, boy. What day is this? Boy: Christmas Eve, sir. The Doctor: In what year? Boy: You thick or something? The Doctor: Oy. Just answer the question. Boy: Year of Our Lord, 1851 sir. The Doctor: Right. Nice year. Bit dull. Rosita (Velile Tshabalala): Doctor! Doctor! The Doctor: Who me? laughs and…

Overhead: Attention all passengers. The Titanic is now in orbit above Sol Three. Also known as Earth. Population: Human. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Christmas. Captain Hardaker (Geoffrey Palmer): Now then, gentlemen. According to the traditions of the planet below, Christmas is a time of celebration. I think you might be entitled to a tot…

The Doctor: What? Donna: Who are you? The Doctor: But— Donna: Where am I? The Doctor: What? Donna: What the hell is this place?! The Doctor: What? Donna: Tell me where I am. I demand you tell me, right now, where am I? The Doctor: Inside the TARDIS. Donna: What? The Doctor: The TARDIS. Donna:…

Mickey Smith (Noel Clarke): Who is he? Where's the Doctor? Rose: That's him. Right in front of you. That's the Doctor. Jackie Tyler (Camille Coduri): What'dya mean that's The Doctor? Doctor who? Rose: Both working. Jackie: What do you mean both? Rose: He's got two hearts. Jackie: Oh don't be stupid. Anything else he's got…