Joe Mantegna

Season 22

Elementary School Musical When I slept in class it was not to help Leo DiCaprio Homer: It's 4am. You kids should have been in bed a half hour ago. Kent Brockman: And now to comment on joining the ranks of Martin Luther King, Gandhi and Desmond Tutu, here's the man who always parks in my…

Season 18

The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer Lisa: Otto, Bart won't give me a seat. Otto: You know I can deal with your problem or I can rock out. But I cannot do both! Otto: That's not a song. Real songs are about deals with the devil and far off lands where you…

Season 11

Beyond Blunderdome Fridays are not “pants optional” Saleswoman: Thinking of saying goodbye to gas? Bart: You betcha! {he burps} Marge: Bart! {she passes gas} Well that shut me up. Mel Gibson: Don't forget to be completely truthful when you fill out your opinion cards. Honesty is the foundation of the movie business. Mel Gibson: Maybe…

Season 7

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two) I will not complain about the solution when I hear it Kent Brockman: Dozens of people are gunned down each day in Springfield, but until now none of them was important. Lisa: Everyone in Springfield had a reason to shoot Mr. Burns. Even us. Bart, he broke your dog's…

Season 3

Stark Raving Dad I am not a dentist Homer: Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different. Mr. Burns: Spare me the tiresome antics of the Simpson family! Lisa: Meditations on Turning Eight by Lisa Simpson I had a cat named Snowball. She…

Springfieldians

Season 1 Patty: It's almost nine o'clock. Selma: Where is Homer anyway? Patty: It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all. Lisa: What, Aunt Patty? Patty: Oh nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father. Lisa: Well, I wish that you wouldn't. Because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties…