Sandy: Ask me while you're giving me the massage. I'm inclined to say yes. Seth: Why have guys night out when we could have guys night in. Summer: Am I about to get whacked? Kirsten to Julie: Oh my. There's so much you here. Sandy: Okay, honey, I don't want to alarm you, but there's…

Seth: If you're alone, cough twice. Ryan: I'm alone. Seth: Okay, it's not as stealth but it works too. Ryan: Where are you? Seth: Well remember last night when I said I was going to bed? Ryan: Didn't happen, huh? Seth: Ah, no, it did. Just not my bed. But I did bring my favorite…

Seth: Hey man, what's going on? Ryan: Studying. Seth: Will you punch someone, please? For old time's sake? Alright, fine. Logarithms are the new uppercut. I got it. Seth: It's a story as old as time, really. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy finds out girl is surrogate mother's illegitimate half-sister. Sandy: I'm guessing…

Caleb: What is the point of living in Southern California if it's going to be this cold? Sandy: Fifty degrees in December, Cal. That ain't cold. Caleb: Yeah, my blood must have gotten thinner. Sandy: Or you've got ice in your veins. Sandy: Spare me. You're not trying to protect Lindsay, you're trying to protect…

Seth: Ryan Atwood, are you scared of a girl? Ryan: No, I just, I just might like her, and I don't know, every time there's a big party to go to... Seth: Everything goes terribly awry? Ryan: Yeah. Ryan: You're not really the fist-fighting type. Seth: You're not really the type to be scared of…

Seth about Lindsay: She's musical, she's witty... hopefully she's free for lunch. Seth: I can't believe I finally met her. Ryan: Lindsay? Seth: Lindsay Cohen. That's got a nice ring to it, don't you think? Will you hook that up for me? Ryan: No. Seth: Why not? Unless, hey, I mean, do you like her?…

Ryan: Looks like Summer was way off base. {Seth looks perplexed} Accusing you of making everything about you. Seth: My god, she is right. Seth: I'm like a monster, dude. I'm all I think about. And not in a good way. Ryan: There's a good way? Sandy: You're not exactly the ideal client. Caleb: What,…

Seth: We cannot go. Ryan: We can't not go. Seth: We can so not go. Ryan: I'm gonna brood. Silently. Over here. Seth: So you're just gonna walk up to her in front of the entire student body and be all, "Hey." And just hope she "heys" you back? Ryan: Yeah, we're not going to…

Kirsten: Are you doing that thing where you think that I'm ignoring you, so you start speaking gibberish to see if I'm listening? Sandy: Aw. You were listening. Kirsten: Nope. Sandy: Sometimes the best thing is for a kid to have some space. Kirsten: The Pacific Ocean? That's space? Summer: I feel like my flesh…

The Distance Summer: The more time I spend with Zach, the less time I think about goddamn what's-his-face, built like a beanpole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on a sailboat, leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend, who cried and cried over him until the Fourth of July when she realised…

The Distance Ryan: Hey, so, ah, I was thinking. Seth: I was thinking too. You know they don't have a water polo team here. That's gonna be a problem for me. Ryan: How'd you make it all the way from Newport on that little catamaran? Seth: Hm. Well, Ryan, sit down, my son. motions for…

The Distance Luke: Cohen got in a little fight with his mom. Seth: Thanks. That was both honest and emasculating. Seth: She has to understand it's not all about her. Luke: You've got some willpower, because she has a killer rack. Sandy: Hey, there's plenty of good restaurants in Newport. Seth: I thought you said…

The Distance Kirsten: Are you doing that thing where you think that I'm ignoring you, so you start speaking gibberish to see if I'm listening? Sandy: Aw. You were listening. Kirsten: Nope. Sandy: Sometimes the best thing is for a kid to have some space. Kirsten: The Pacific Ocean? That's space? Sandy: I've always liked…

The Distance Sandy: I've always liked Luke. Kind of a big Golden Retriever. Ryan laughs: Actually, he kinda is. Theresa: You should go to Portland. Ryan: It's for them to figure out. They're family. Theresa: And you're not a part of their family? Ryan: Not anymore. Ryan: So you learned to work a grill. You're…

The Distance Caleb: Do you hear a clicking on the phone? Every time I try to dial out I swear I hear a clicking. Julie: Okay, Nixon. Paranoid, much? What's going on with you, Cal? You're either hopped up on blow or something's seriously wrong. Theresa: The only reason you stayed was because of this…