The New Kids on the Block

Ryan: Looks like Summer was way off base. {Seth looks perplexed} Accusing you of making everything about you.
Seth: My god, she is right.

Seth: I’m like a monster, dude. I’m all I think about. And not in a good way.
Ryan: There’s a good way?

Sandy: You’re not exactly the ideal client.
Caleb: What, rich? Powerful?
Sandy: Guilty.

Lindsay Gardner (Shannon Lucio): Excuse me. I’m new. Is it alright to park here?
Bitchy Chick: Sure. If you’re not embarrassed.

Seth: Ryan, what would you like?
Are you buying?
Ryan: No. But I’m letting you order first. I may be selfless but I’m still pretty stingy.

Lindsay: I’m just gonna wring out my shirt, and stuff toilet paper up my nose, and I’m sure I’ll have no trouble fitting in now. So. Thanks.

Marissa: So then you’re not over Seth.
Summer: Oh I am. I’ve divested myself of all Seth’s material possessions. I’m vibrating, Coop, at an extremely Cohen-less frequency.

Ryan: I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.
Lindsay: It’s your elbow I’m worried about.

Seth: The Bait Shop? Could be our very own CBGBs.
Ryan: Could be what?
Seth: C’mon. What? The only music they had in Chino was the sound of gunshots and helicopters?

Seth: I have a mop, Ryan!
Ryan: You got a mop, Bro!

Seth: So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the urinals! {walks off whistling as Ryan stands there stoically until Seth wanders back the other way}
Seth: I don’t know where they are.

Alex: That’s sweet. It’s pathetic but it’s sweet.
Seth: Yeah, that’s my niche. Pathetic but sweet.

Sandy: Guess who no longer works for Partridge, Savage and Caan.
Kirsten: You quit?
Sandy: I got fired. Quit slash got fired. A lot of things were said. None of them good.
Kirsten: What happened?
Sandy: Your father.

Julie: He’s in prison and could lose everything.
Jimmy: So, you’re gonna divorce him and take his kids.

Julie: He only listens to Kirsten and Sandy.
Jimmy: The woman I married wouldn’t stand for that. Nobody puts Julie Cooper in a corner.
Julie: I don’t know how this happens.
Jimmy: Because you keep marrying for money.

Julie: Back to the gulag.

Lindsay: I’m not here to make friends.
Ryan: Yeah, well. Mission accomplished.

Caleb: When I have champagne I get giggly.
Sandy: When have you ever been giggly?

Marissa: Do you like this band?
Ryan: I like Journey.

Caleb: What do you suggest I do?
Sandy: I suggest you find a way to make it up to Kirsten. Now. Unless you want Julie to be your lawyer too.

Summer: Cohen, that was really sweet.
Seth: Pathetic and sweet?
Summer: No, just sweet.

Seth: Maybe I just, I can’t be just friends with you.
Summer: Well then I guess maybe this is it for us.

Seth: Please, dude. I just need to talk about me for like several more hours at least.
Ryan: I thought you didn’t do that anymore.
Seth: That was the new Seth Cohen. I’m back, Ryan. Cohen Classic. Red, white, and me.

Sandy: Does the light of dawn make any of this easier to take?
Kirsten: Harder, actually.

Marissa: How’d you get in here?
Seth: I took a left at the grotto, and I hopped the funicular and the dumbwaiter.

Sandy: She’s agreed to supervised visitation. Twenty minutes, max.
Caleb: She’s my daughter, Sandy, I don’t need to be supervised.
Sandy: I’m supervising her. I’m afraid she might kill you.

Lindsay: So I’ve been thinking. I owe you an apology. Several actually.
Ryan: You have to actually say the words. That’s kinda how it works.