Oz Oz Seasons

Season 3


Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje  B.D. Wong  Craig muMs Grant  Edie Falco  Ernie Hudson  Frederick Koehler  George Morfogen  Granville Adams  Kristin Rohde  Lauren Vélez  Otto Sanchez  Rita Moreno  Scott William Winters  Terry Kinney  Tom Mardirosian

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Nathan: You need to cut those fingernails.
Beecher: I will. As soon as I get back to my pod.

Keller: Look, what I did was wrong. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to prove to you that I’m truly sorry. And I do love you.
Beecher: How about I fuck you in the ass?

Beecher: How stupid do you think I am? You let me break your legs… and then you snitch on me.
Keller: I won’t. I swear.
Beecher: Swear. Promise. Take an oath, make a vow. Then go fuck yourself.

Keller: Hey, fuck you, ya fuck.

Claire Howell: You were right about Tim McManus. He’s dreamy.
Wittlesey: I don’t recall ever saying Tim McManus was dreamy.

Cyril O’Reily: I want to put on Miss Sally’s Schoolyard.
Busmalis: Yeah, Miss Sally’s got big bazooms.
Cyril: Big bazooms.
Ryan: Settle down, Cyril.

Keller: You know… you know what went on between us, right?
Sister Pete: I know that Tobias was in love with you and that you broke his arms and his legs.
Keller: Jesus Christ, you put it that way it makes me sound so cold.
Sister Pete: So why don’t you rephrase it so you come out the hero?

Beecher: Never considered that, huh? That it could’ve been me, standing in the dark in that storage room, watching you stack copying paper. And then, boom, boom, baby!
Keller: Toby, was it you?
Beecher: No. But for a second, you believed it could have been. It could have been good ol’ Toby.
Keller: You didn’t kill Metzger.
Beecher: Nah. How could a little pussy bitch like me hurt anyone?
Keller: Beecher, if you weren’t in the storage room, how did you know I was shelving copy paper?
Beecher: Hmm… I dunno. Shit, maybe it was me.

Beecher: You’re wondering what I’m going to do to the son of the guy who double-fucked me.
McManus: It crossed my mind.

Wangler: Miguel, how it feel to get your ass whipped by a faggot?
Alvarez: You better watch your fucking mouth.
Wangler: Whatcha you gonna do? Hit me with your purse, motherfucker?

Ryan: Hey, Bricks. Nice one, man. You’ like Tyson all right. Cecily Tyson.

Beecher: I wouldn’t mind a four way with Nooter and Pecky.
Ryan: What?

Keller: But the end of the day when you go home and your bed is empty…
Sister Pete: It’s not empty.
Keller: Oh, I forgot. God’s waiting there for you. You’re the bride of Christ.

Ryan: Yo, Vern!
Keller: How you doing?
Beecher: Came to get some exercise. Work up a sweat.
Andy Schillinger: They’re gonna teach me how to wrestle.
Schillinger: That’s fine. We’ll just stand here and watch.

Beecher: Tsk, tsk, tsk… Vern, you need to adjust your attitude. If not, I got no reason to keep being the good friend to you that I am.
Schillinger: Good friend?
Beecher: Yeah. If not for what I have done, then for what I haven’t.
Schillinger: What’s that?
Beecher: I haven’t fucked him. At least not yet. You see, because I was there for Andrew when he needed someone, holding him—comforting him—I think he’s developed a little bit of a crush on me. I have been tempted to at least deep tongue him a couple times, but I knew that would upset you so I haven’t. Even though he wants me to stick my dick up his ass. And I’m afraid one of these nights, he and I alone in our pod, I’m not gonna be able to control myself.
Schillinger: You’ll be dead before you get the chance.
Beecher: Well, you better hurry. Keller’s getting horny and O’Reily’s been talking about a three-way with Cyril and Andy.

Schillinger: Those are not the kind of men you should be hanging out with.
Andy: As opposed to who? Those standup individuals that make up your merry little band? You know, I gotta tell you something, Dad, my whole life you crammed into my head how superior we white folks are. Well I don’t see the truth in that. Hey, I look around this room and I see white faces and black faces, every color in between. The only thing that I know for sure is that we’re all shit. Shit don’t come in degrees. I mean, white or black, shit is shit. So fuck everything you believe in, fuck everything you stand for, and fuck you.

Howell: You know what your problem is, Diane? You wanna be everybody’s best pal.
Wittlesey: And your problem? You wanna be everybody’s worst nightmare.

Beecher: When are you gonna figure it out? You and me. We’re never gonna happen.
Keller: You love me, Toby.
Beecher: standing up Fuck my ass.

Hill: Life in Oz sucks, and only a fool or a Republican will tell you different.

Margarita Ricardo: You don’t understand!
Wittlesey: If I had a nickel for every time I didn’t understand you’d be talking to an empty chair.

McManus: Well, how about a hanging? When you die, your feet do a little dance, a little dance of death.

Keller: I love you.
Beecher: I love you.
Keller: Kiss me.
Beecher walking away: Asalam Aleikum.

Hill: Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The rats, on the other hand, is a whole different story.

Howell: Seasons greetings, fuckwad!

Beecher: Keller, I just asked McManus to let you be my roommate again.

Murphy: Life’s full of disappointments, O’Reily. I think you would’ve grasped that by now.

Hoyt: What do you want?
Schillinger: The niggers are up to something.
Keller: The niggers are always up to something. So are you.

different shots in Em City
Murphy: Happy New Year.
McManus: Yeah.
Beecher: Happy New Year.
Keller: Happy New Year.
Wangler: Happy New Year, motherfuckers!
Schillinger: Eat me, you little prick.