Rhys: Did you just say "Time Agency"? Don't tell me that's based in Cardiff too. John: I've been here quite awhile. What kept you? Jack: We all survived. You know if you're going to set an explosion you need to be more efficient. John: Oh, them. They were just prototypes. Had to test out a…

Tosh: Not a species we've encountered before. Owen: Well let's hope they're friendly then. Jack: You know these creatures are very quiet. Owen: Maybe they're sleeping. Ianto: Or hatching. Tosh: Or maybe they aren't creatures at all. Jack: They're explosive devices. Owen: Snap. 1,392 Deaths Earlier: Jack: Ladies! Torso of steel, shillin' a feel! Any…

PC Andy: Is this beneath you now? Gwen: No! PC Andy: What's with the attitude? You've got a face like a slapped ass. Gwen: I'm waiting for you to tell me where you were. PC Andy: Where I was when? Gwen: At the wedding. PC Andy: I rang you. I had to work. Gwen: I…

Joshua Joy: Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys! Have we got a show for you tonight. A once-in-a-lifetime show! Amaze your ears, astonish your eyes, then run along home and tell your friends and neighbors. A once-in-a-lifetime show. Never to be forgotten for the rest of your lives. So why not step inside? We're waiting…

Gwen: So, is it anything to eat tonight or is it just booze all the way? Friend: Booze, blokes, bumpin' and booze. Owen: Gwen, you're pregnant. Almost full term. Gwen: Pregnant. That's not possible. Jack: Boy, would Darwin have a field day if he'd made it to space. Owen: Listen, Gwen, you are going to…

My name is Dr. Owen Harper. And this is my life. A life that is full of action, and violence, and work and wonder. And Secrets. Sex and love. And death. My death. The death I survived. The death I am now living for a— Except, this isn't living. Every day it's the same. I…

Girl: If I told you not to use it, would you listen? Jack: Shouldn't you know the answer to that? Girl holds up the Death card: I do. That's the problem. Gwen: Jack what have you got? {Jack holds up the glove.} Oh my god. Tosh: You can't use that. Not after Suzie. Jack: I'm…

Jack: Suddenly in an underground mortuary, on a wet night in Cardiff, I hear the sound of a nightingale. Miss Martha Jones. Jack: Dr. Jones is from UNIT. Gwen: Oh, um, sorry. I get a bit confused. Which one's UNIT? Jack: Intelligence, military, cute red caps, um, the acceptable face of intelligence-gathering on aliens. We're…

Jack: You're late! Gwen: Yes. Paris, was lovely thank you. {sees a new person} Who the hell is this? Adam (Bryan Dick): Just 'cause that's what I said to you on your first day. Remember? {he implants their history} Gwen: Sorry, couldn't resist! Gwen: He's deluded! He keeps saying he's my boyfriend. Jack: He is. Its Rhys. Gwen: I've never seen him before…

Owen: Well the DNA tracers are stable, there are some signs of animal sedative. But no detectable diseases or residues. My guess is it's good to eat. Gwen: Would you eat it? Ianto: Pizza's arrived. I presumed it would be a late one. Owen: What'd you get me? Ianto: Usual. Meat Feast. Owen: Lovely. Gwen:…

Tosh: Tell them what to do. You're the only that who can stop this. If you don't, it's the end of everything! Tommy! Tommy (Anthony Lewis): Take me. I'm in there, in the ward, in 1918. You have to take me so I can be here now. {they look lost} Just take me! Gerald (Roderic Culver): Tommy, I…

PC Andy: No other reason I could think of for keeping sports equipment in the bedroom. Jack: Oh, you should come by my house for a game of hockey some time. Owen to Gwen: Alright then, Jessica Fletcher. Whodunit? Ianto: "Just us. In this room. For as long as it takes." Terrifying. Jack: Really? Ianto:…

Gwen: Excuse me. Have you seen a blowfish driving a sports car? {The woman points the way.} Thank you. Woman: Bloody Torchwood. Gwen: All I'm saying is you are speeding and there are children. Owen: Well if kids are out at midnight they've got it coming. Tosh: Detecting high levels of algae. Gwen: Who's afraid…