Sandy: Ask me while you're giving me the massage. I'm inclined to say yes. Seth: Why have guys night out when we could have guys night in. Summer: Am I about to get whacked? Kirsten to Julie: Oh my. There's so much you here. Sandy: Okay, honey, I don't want to alarm you, but there's…

Seth: If you're alone, cough twice. Ryan: I'm alone. Seth: Okay, it's not as stealth but it works too. Ryan: Where are you? Seth: Well remember last night when I said I was going to bed? Ryan: Didn't happen, huh? Seth: Ah, no, it did. Just not my bed. But I did bring my favorite…

Seth: Hey man, what's going on? Ryan: Studying. Seth: Will you punch someone, please? For old time's sake? Alright, fine. Logarithms are the new uppercut. I got it. Seth: It's a story as old as time, really. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy finds out girl is surrogate mother's illegitimate half-sister. Sandy: I'm guessing…

Caleb: What is the point of living in Southern California if it's going to be this cold? Sandy: Fifty degrees in December, Cal. That ain't cold. Caleb: Yeah, my blood must have gotten thinner. Sandy: Or you've got ice in your veins. Sandy: Spare me. You're not trying to protect Lindsay, you're trying to protect…

Seth: Ryan Atwood, are you scared of a girl? Ryan: No, I just, I just might like her, and I don't know, every time there's a big party to go to... Seth: Everything goes terribly awry? Ryan: Yeah. Ryan: You're not really the fist-fighting type. Seth: You're not really the type to be scared of…

Seth about Lindsay: She's musical, she's witty... hopefully she's free for lunch. Seth: I can't believe I finally met her. Ryan: Lindsay? Seth: Lindsay Cohen. That's got a nice ring to it, don't you think? Will you hook that up for me? Ryan: No. Seth: Why not? Unless, hey, I mean, do you like her?…

Ryan: Looks like Summer was way off base. {Seth looks perplexed} Accusing you of making everything about you. Seth: My god, she is right. Seth: I'm like a monster, dude. I'm all I think about. And not in a good way. Ryan: There's a good way? Sandy: You're not exactly the ideal client. Caleb: What,…

Seth: We cannot go. Ryan: We can't not go. Seth: We can so not go. Ryan: I'm gonna brood. Silently. Over here. Seth: So you're just gonna walk up to her in front of the entire student body and be all, "Hey." And just hope she "heys" you back? Ryan: Yeah, we're not going to…

Kirsten: Are you doing that thing where you think that I'm ignoring you, so you start speaking gibberish to see if I'm listening? Sandy: Aw. You were listening. Kirsten: Nope. Sandy: Sometimes the best thing is for a kid to have some space. Kirsten: The Pacific Ocean? That's space? Summer: I feel like my flesh…