Girl: If I told you not to use it, would you listen? Jack: Shouldn't you know the answer to that? Girl holds up the Death card: I do. That's the problem. Gwen: Jack what have you got? {Jack holds up the glove.} Oh my god. Tosh: You can't use that. Not after Suzie. Jack: I'm…

Jack: Suddenly in an underground mortuary, on a wet night in Cardiff, I hear the sound of a nightingale. Miss Martha Jones. Jack: Dr. Jones is from UNIT. Gwen: Oh, um, sorry. I get a bit confused. Which one's UNIT? Jack: Intelligence, military, cute red caps, um, the acceptable face of intelligence-gathering on aliens. We're…

Jack: You're late! Gwen: Yes. Paris, was lovely thank you. {sees a new person} Who the hell is this? Adam (Bryan Dick): Just 'cause that's what I said to you on your first day. Remember? {he implants their history} Gwen: Sorry, couldn't resist! Gwen: He's deluded! He keeps saying he's my boyfriend. Jack: He is. Its Rhys. Gwen: I've never seen him before…

Owen: Well the DNA tracers are stable, there are some signs of animal sedative. But no detectable diseases or residues. My guess is it's good to eat. Gwen: Would you eat it? Ianto: Pizza's arrived. I presumed it would be a late one. Owen: What'd you get me? Ianto: Usual. Meat Feast. Owen: Lovely. Gwen:…

Tosh: Tell them what to do. You're the only that who can stop this. If you don't, it's the end of everything! Tommy! Tommy (Anthony Lewis): Take me. I'm in there, in the ward, in 1918. You have to take me so I can be here now. {they look lost} Just take me! Gerald (Roderic Culver): Tommy, I…

PC Andy: No other reason I could think of for keeping sports equipment in the bedroom. Jack: Oh, you should come by my house for a game of hockey some time. Owen to Gwen: Alright then, Jessica Fletcher. Whodunit? Ianto: "Just us. In this room. For as long as it takes." Terrifying. Jack: Really? Ianto:…

Gwen: Excuse me. Have you seen a blowfish driving a sports car? {The woman points the way.} Thank you. Woman: Bloody Torchwood. Gwen: All I'm saying is you are speeding and there are children. Owen: Well if kids are out at midnight they've got it coming. Tosh: Detecting high levels of algae. Gwen: Who's afraid…

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen: Excuse me. Have you seen a blowfish driving a sportscar? The woman points the way Thank you. Woman: Bloody Torchwood. Mugger: Come any closer I'll open up his neck. Captain John Hart: Fine. Mugger: What? Hart: Which artery do you normally sever? Mugger: I'm not bluffing! Hart: Well see, now…

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Owen: What are we gonna do when we catch it? Tosh: Jack would know. Owen: Yeah, well Jack's not here, is he? Jack's disappeared. Fat lot of good Jack is. Jack: You were the wife. Hart: You were the wife. Jack: No. You were the wife. Hart: Oh, but I was…

Meat Gwen: What were you doing at that warehouse? Rhys: You lied to me! You were at that crash! Gwen: I don't know what you're talking about! Rhys: Stop pissing me around, Gwen. You're so used to lying and fobbing me off, like the idiot that I obviously am! Gwen: All I ever asked was…

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen: All I'm saying is you are speeding and there are children. Owen: Well if kids are out at midnight they've got it coming. Detecting high levels of algae. Gwen: Who's afraid of a big scary fish, then? Owen: It's a big fish with a gun. Owen: What are we gonna…

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Jack: Hey kids. Did you miss me? laughs Jack: Got pretty organized without me. Gwen: Yeah, well we had to. Jack: Hey, did you decorate in here? Gwen: You left us Jack! Jack: I know. I'm sorry. Gwen: We knew nothing, Jack. Owen: Where were you? Jack: I found my doctor.…

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Owen: Okay, so who the hell was that bloke in the hologram? Ianto: I know Jack recognized him. Tosh: Why didn't he let us go with him? Gwen: 'Cause he's typical Jack, isn't he? He disappears, he comes back, then he runs away again. Shuts us out. We don't even know…

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen: Excuse me. Have you seen a blowfish driving a sportscar? The woman points the way Thank you. Woman: Bloody Torchwood. Gwen: All I'm saying is you are speeding and there are children. Owen: Well if kids are out at midnight they've got it coming. Tosh: Detecting high levels of algae.…

Rhys about the global incidents: Do you think it is terrorists? Gwen: Terrorists bomb things. This is different. Woman on TV: People didn't believe us. Now they should. This is the end of days. Jack: Okay, I've been fielding calls all night. The government, UNIT, the CIA. Half the Western world and a good portion…