The Perfect Date

Lloyd: Dude, are you wearing makeup?
Marshall: Yes I am. Rachel gave me some cover up for my pimple and then I put a little under my eyes.
Ron: I thought you looked less tired.
Marshall: Thank you.

Hal: Steven it’s no big deal. Your mom and I still fight. Hell, we even get it on every once in awhile.

Steven: What were some things mom always wanted you to do but you never did.
Hal: I don’t know. Learn to read minds.

Rachel: The perfect date. That’s really cute.
Lizzie: Eric did this once. He filled his ex-step dad’s hot tub with pink champagne.
Rachel: That sounds like fun.
Lizzie: I got a urinary tract infection.

Steven: Why do you want to help me so much?
Rachel: Because we hate Eric.
And we like you.

Lloyd: Look at her scampering around. She’s like a little bunny.
Marshall: Oh man, don’t have sex with the bunny.

Lizzie: Were you super popular?
Steven: Oh go, I hate that word. I was well-liked.

Theo: Well now you say “just one.” Later you’ll be saying “just wonderful.”

Lloyd: Can we start over? I’m Lloyd.
Evie: Oh, you’re that guy who had sex with my roommate and was mean to that high school kid. Pleased to meet you. I’m leaving.

Theo: He was always the geek in high school.
Lizzie: Hey, none of us were perfect in high school. So you were a geek. Everybody was something. I was a slut.
Steven: What?
Lizzie: I was a slut.
Theo: Can I have your phone number? C’mon, that was funny.