Hal and Hilary

Lizzie: I feel bad for Hal. He’s lonely.
Steven: I know. I just wish he could be lonely by himself sometimes.

Hilary: Hal, could you do me a favor?
Hal: Anything.
Hilary: Dare to believe in yourself.

Ron about Kikuki: She doesn’t speak any English? That’s unbelievable. It’s like you found the perfect girl.

Rachel: Well I mean it’ll never last. She’s got the boobs of a six year-old and she’s, like, dumb.
Lloyd: Well,
I don’t think a dumb girl’s necessarily wrong for Marshall.
Ron: Yeah, and I don’t even think she’s dumb necessarily. She’s just, she seems dumb because she’s foreign. Like Lloyd.
Lloyd: I’m going to hurt you when you least expect it.

Steven: My dad—my dad—is having relations with Hilary. I haven’t done anything.
Lloyd: Then do something.
Steven: Like what?
Lloyd: Let’s monkeyshine his ass.
Lizzie: Don’t— don’t do that. Don’t monkeyshine.

Lloyd: So are you a man or not?
Steven: Monkeyshine.

Lucien: What happened?
Perry: What happened what? Oh, I strapped myself here. I have a girl coming by to pleasure me in a few minutes.
Lucien: Are you serious?
Perry: No. You moron. Untie me.

Hilary: We’ve got pizza there. We don’t have any judgment. We just have pizza.