Hammond: Plausible deniability. In the event of a future breach of security we’ll be able to point to this television program. That is if it stays on the air.
Martin Lloyd (Willie Garson): Okay, scene 23 takes place on another planet. So do you think aliens eat apples?
Crew Member: Why not? They speak English.
Director (Peter DeLuise): We’ve already established that one shot stuns and two shots kills. Nick just shot everybody twice.
Martin: So, three shots disintegrates them.
Director: You know what? I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.
Director: Because you’re “out of phase”.
Yolanda: So, how come I don’t fall through the floor?
Martin: Never ask a writer where he gets his ideas. In truth, we don’t know.
Martin: Okay, fine. I’m an alien. Whatever.
O’Neill: They are aliens too. They’re from your planet.
Martin: Okay, that is the stupidest act four opening ever.
Dr. Tanner: Colonel, please. You know as well as I do they’re never going to leave us alone. There’s nothing for us here. It’s time for us to go.
O’Neill: You officially owe me one.
Alien: What about Martin?
Teal’c: I believe Martin Lloyd has chosen a new path.
Martin: We’re gonna win an Emmy for this! … Visual effects category.
Cool special effect.
I’ve seen better.
Eh. We’ll fix it in post.