Ascension

O’Neill: How long?
Jackson: For what?
O’Neill: All of it. How long?
Jackson: Uh well. Days. Weeks. Months, maybe, of meticulous, tedious boring… you know, tediousness. {Jack and Teal’c walk away} Uh… I could just keeping working now. By lunch at least.

O’Neill: Carter, any idea what this thing is yet?
Carter: No sir. But the technology’s very advanced.
O’Neill: So what, couple hours?
Carter: Very advanced.

Carter: There’s nothing wrong with me.
Fraiser: Okay. At least consider what you’ve been through in the last few years. You have had a Tok’ra symbiote die in your brain. Your memory has been stamped. And your entire consciousness has been transferred out of your body into a computer and then back again. And that is just for starters. Eventually it has to take its toll.
Carter: Are we done?
Fraiser: Yes. Make sure you come back if you start speaking an alien language.
Carter: I’m sure I’ll have no choice.

Hammond: Until Dr. Fraiser advises otherwise, I’m ordering you to take it easy.
Carter: Take it easy?
O’Neill: Yeah. You’ve been a little tense.
Carter: Tense? Me? I’m not tense. Am I? When did you first notice?
O’Neill: As we met.

O’Neill: Take up golf. Fly a kite. Knit something.

Carter: How did you get in here?
Orlin (Sean Patrick Flanery): I won’t hurt you.
Carter: No, I’ll hurt you if you come any closer.
Orlin: Please don’t. I just want to talk to you.
Carter: About what?
Orlin: It’s complicated.

Carter: Who are you?
Orlin: My name is Orlin. I’m from the planet you just visited. I followed you back through the Stargate.

Carter: Please don’t say “take it easy.”
O’Neill: Take care.

Jackson: How’s Sam?
O’Neill: Absolutely no evidence of her “secret friend”.
Jackson: How’s Sam?
O’Neill: Hammond recommended a psych evaluation.
Teal’c: Do you believe Captain Carter has become mentally unstable?
O’Neill: No more than the rest of us.

O’Neill: What do you guys got?
Jackson: Well it looks like that thing on 636 is a weapon.
O’Neill: I was right?
Teal’c: It is a weapon of great power, O’Neill.
O’Neill: Big and honking.

Orlin: I understand why you did it.
Carter: Of course you would wait until they took the cameras away.
Orlin: Military protocol. You would have jeopardized your job if you didn’t report it.
Carter: I just came from a psychological evaluation. Do you understand what that means?
Orlin: They think you’re crazy.
Carter: Am I?

Orlin: Just close your eyes and—
Carter: Don’t say “take it easy.”
Orlin: Relax.

O’Neill: Carter, here’s the bottomline: no one is seeing what you’re seeing and until that happens we’re all going to think you’re nuts.

Orlin: Things have been going well between us, right?
Carter: There is no “us,” Orlin. I don’t see how there ever could be.
Orlin: That’s just because we both used to live on different planes of existence.

Carter: Hey guys. What are you doing here?
O’Neill: We brought pizza and a movie.
Teal’c: Star Wars.
O’Neill: He’s seen it what, eight times?
Teal’c: Nine.
O’Neill: Nine times. If Teal’c likes it, it’s gotta be okay.
Carter: You’ve never seen Star Wars.
O’Neill: What? You know me and sci-fi.

O’Neill: So. Now what?
Teal’c: I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of Jello.
O’Neill: Call Daniel.

Colonel Simmons (John de Lancie): Need I remind you, Dr. Jackson, the dangers that we’re trying to defend Earth against?
Jackson: Oh, uh, could you? I mean, go slow.

Orlin: I read about how humans associate certain materials with their birth month. Yours is emerald, right?
Carter: It’s huge.
Orlin: Oh. Is it? It was difficult to tell the common size from the pictures in the book.
Carter: You made it?
Orlin: You wouldn’t believe the things that you can make from the common, simple things laying around your planet. Which reminds me. You’re going to need a new microwave.

Carter: There’s a team of special forces outside.
Orlin: I know.
Carter: They want to take you into custody.
Orlin: I know. That’s okay.
Carter: Orlin, I didn’t turn you in.
Orlin: I didn’t think you did.

Carter: You’ve been busy.
Orlin: I didn’t think they’d let me go back to Vellona through their Stargate.
Carter: So you built one?
Orlin: Sort of. This one won’t dial multiple addresses. It’ll only create a wormhole once and then probably burn out.
Carter: And you ordered the materials online?
Orlin: Mostly. Sorry, but you’re going to have a pretty good credit card bill this month. Oh. And you’re going to need a new toaster.

Orlin: I can’t believe how much this hurts.

Orlin: I have to go, Sam. They’ve given me another chance. It’s the only way I can save you.