Psych Season 1

Woman Seeking Dead Husband: Smokers Okay, No Pets

2006.07.28    

Steve Bacic

1989

Young Shawn: How long do we have to wait?
Henry: Until we catch our bad guy.
Young Shawn: Can I sleep?
Henry: You can’t sleep on a stake out, Shawn.

Present Day

Shawn: Gus, have you tried this chair? It’s a pregnancy chair. We have to get one for the office immediately. My birthing canal has never felt so aligned.

Shawn: I definitely heard the word “psychic”.
Chief Vick: The woman—Raylene—says she visits an occasional psychic. She wasn’t asking for one.
Shawn: No, not in so many words.
Chief Vick: No, not in any words. This is a bank robbery case. We don’t need psychics for a bank robbery case.

Raylene Wilcroft: I have to admit, when I met you at the police station I was intrigued. So I checked your recent track record. It’s amazing. Really.
Gus: It’s a team effort.
Shawn: Not really. I do most of the work.

Gus: Shawn, I don’t know how to break this to you, but you are not psychic.
Shawn: Clue me in on the problem here?
Gus: It’s a big problem when the job requires extensive conversing with the dead.
Shawn: Gus, what is the question that she wants answered? “Where is the money?” Right? That doesn’t require any actual dead guy chit chat. We simply trace his last steps, do a little research and bingo!
Gus: Stop saying “Bingo”. You know how I hate that.
Shawn: Okay fine. Yahtzee.
Gus: We’re not doing it, Shawn.
Shawn: Mahjong?

Shawn: Gus, there are no rules against having a séance. Anyone can have one. It’s like a garage sale or plastic surgery.

Gus: I like the other girl better.
Shawn: Not me.

Shawn: While we’re here we should do some digging.
Gus: Good idea. Why don’t you dig me getting the hell out of here and going to get some sleep.
Shawn: I set you up for that! Lobbed it right over the plate.

Shawn: Okay, what is this thing you have with women in jeopardy. They have a name for this, you know. It’s called the Stockholm Syndrome.
Gus: No, it’s not.
Shawn: Florence Nightingale’s Disease?
Gus: Are you trying to be funny?

Shawn: Nobody’s home.
Gus: Somebody’s here.
Shawn: What, you can see through doors now? That’s the new thing?

Shawn: You lost the money.
David Morrison Wilcroft (Steve Bacic): Yeah. How’d you know?

Shanks: Can you prove you’re a psychic?
Shawn: Sure. Sure. You are… a bank robber. You, ah, did not like prison. You are wearing the same pants that you were released in. And you have packed on a few pounds since you’ve been incarcerated.

Shanks: Okay, we’re going to try this one more time. {he moves in front of Gus} Now, how many fingers? {Gus motions “three”}
Shawn: Dude. You need to stop picking three.

Gus: How did you know the money was in the crypt?
Shawn: I’m bluffing.
Gus: This is not a good time to bluff.
It’s a great time. She was going to kill us.

Gus: He does have nice hair.
Shawn: Yeah. That takes a lot of upkeep though.