Heroes: Part 1

Hammond: You may find that we’re not all as giddy as you are about this project, Mr. Bregman.
Emmett Bregman (Saul Rubinek): “Giddy”? I, uh… Well I’m personally and professionally excited—excited to be here, General. I haven’t been giddy since, well, you don’t want to know about that.

Hammond: I think it fair to warn you that no one around here wants to be part of your little reality show.
Bregman: I see. You know, General, I think you’re probably well aware that there were film cameras on the beaches of Normandy decades before Survivor debuted on CBS. Personally I think it’s an outrageous oversight that the Stargate program hasn’t been chronicled up to this point.
Hammond: That’s because it’s top secret. Only a handful of people will see anything you shoot.
Bregman: So far, General. So far. Eventually—inevitably—this program’s gonna be disclosed to the American people and to the whole world. And I like to think that this little film that we’re doing here, might in some small way provide insight into what’s really been going on here in the last six years.
Hammond: What’s “really been going on here”?

Bregman: Is that Colonel O’Neill? {he catches up with him}
O’Neill: I like vanilla over chocolate. My favorite color is peridot. I think Tibet should be free and if I could have dinner with anyone in the world it would be Mary Steenburgen.
Bregman: No, if I could— Mary Steenburgen?

Bregman: Samantha Carter. Meet the six and a half billion people of planet Earth.
Carter: Hi.

Bregman: What is the significance of that?
Jackson: It’s fascinating.
Bregman: Back up. Back up. Ah, that’s it? It’s fascinating? Why were we running?
Jackson: Oh. Ah. I just wanted to see if you’d chase me.

Bregman: Can we get a shot of the Gate spinning?
Carter: Sure. It’s really cool. Steam comes out of it and everything.

Colonel Dixon (Adam Baldwin): I don’t see any indication of anything here.
Balinsky: Take the usual bet on that, sir?
Colonel Dixon: Sure. Wells?
Wells: Abandoned naquadah mines.
Dixon: Boring. Good odds. Bosworth?
Bosworth: I’m gonna put my money on trees, sir.
Dixon: Bosworth’s disqualified for being a smartass. I’ll go with two-headed aliens.
Wells: Hostile or friendly, sir?
Dixon: One head good, one head bad. Balinsky?
Balinsky: Ruins of an ancient city.
Dixon: You wish.

Dixon about kids: The reason they make ’em so damn cute is so you don’t suffocate them in your sleep.

Dixon: Miracle of birth, my ass. I’ll tell you what the miracle is. Birth control that works.

Bregman: Why are you sitting there if you’re not going to answer any of the questions?
Teal’c: Because I was requested to be General Hammond.
Bregman: I see. And he didn’t happen to mention to you that part of this involved actually saying something?
Teal’c: No.

Bregman: Colonel, what is this off-world activation something?
O’Neill: I won’t know until I get there.
Bregman: That’s great. We’re going. Where’s there?
O’Neill: There is here, for you.

Bregman: You know I’m going to get you on camera sooner or later. Even if all I get is a series of shots of you avoiding being got.
O’Neill: Fire away. I hope shots of my ass serve you well.

Harriman: Well basically when the Gate is dialing, I say “Chevron One encoded, Chevron Two encoded”. And so on, incrementally, up to the seventh chevron. Which is a little different because that’s when the wormhole connects. When that happens I like to change things up a little bit and just say, “Chevron Seven locked.”
Bregman: That’s great.

Jackson: None of this is about truth. It’s all about political posturing.
Carter: Yeah, he really grilled me on that.
Jackson: About whether or not the Stargate program should go public?
Carter: Yeah.
Jackson: What’d you say?
Carter: Babbled incoherently.

Fraiser: Are you flirting with me?
Bregman: Uh huh. See, I on the other hand am very clumsy under pressure.
Fraiser: Well I’ve seen worse.

Jackson: It was all because I wanted an aerial survey.
Carter: It took me too long to figure out the probe sent a transmission.
O’Neill: None of that matters now.