Season 5

Enemies

O’Neill: He’s lookin’ a little pissed.
Carter: We did just destroy his fleet.

Carter: We can’t let the bugs get a foothold in our galaxy. These things are relentless. Even the Asgards haven’t been able to stop them.

Threshold

Carter: How’s Junior doing?
Dr. Fraiser: The symbiote is fine for now. Although I don’t know what we’re going to do with it if we let Teal’c die. But that won’t be my problem. I’ll have already resigned if we let this go that far.

Carter: So is it working? Has he said anything?
O’Neill: He talked about fabric. Briefly.
Jackson: He just called me a woman.
O’Neill: So I think it’s working.

Ascension

O’Neill: Carter, any idea what this thing is yet?
Carter: No sir. But the technology’s very advanced.
O’Neill: So, what? Two hours.
Carter: Very advanced.

Fraiser: Make sure you come back if you start speaking an alien language.
Carter: I’m sure I’ll have no choice.

Hammond: Until Dr. Fraiser advises otherwise, I’m ordering you to take it easy.
Carter: Take it easy?
O’Neill: Yeah. You’ve been a little tense.
Carter: Tense? Me? I’m not tense. Am I? When did you first notice?
O’Neill: As we met.

Carter: How did you get in here?
Orlin (Sean Patrick Flanery): I won’t hurt you.
Carter: No, I’ll hurt you if you come any closer.
Orlin: Please don’t. I just want to talk to you.
Carter: About what?
Orlin: It’s complicated.

Carter: Who are you?
Orlin: My name is Orlin. I’m from the planet you just visited. I followed you back through the Stargate.

Carter: Please don’t say “take it easy.”
O’Neill: Take care.

Jackson: How’s Sam?
O’Neill: Absolutely no evidence of her “secret friend”.
Jackson: How’s Sam?
O’Neill: Hammond recommended a psych evaluation.
Teal’c: Do you believe Captain Carter has become unstable?
O’Neill: No more than the rest of us.

Orlin: Things have been going well between us, right?
Carter: There is no “us”, Orlin. I don’t see how there ever could be.
Orlin: That’s just because we both used to live on different planes of existence.

The Fifth Man

Hammond: Report, Major.
Carter: We were attacked by several Jaffa. Lieutenant Tyler went down covering our six and Colonel O’Neill went back for him.
Teal’c: We must assemble a rescue team and return to the planet immediately, General Hammond.
Hammond: Hold on. Who’s Lieutenant Tyler?
Jackson: What do you mean, “Who’s Lieutenant Tyler”? He’s a member of SG-1.
Hammond: What?
Jackson: You assigned him yourself last month, sir.
Carter: Tyler, sir. We’ve been training him for weeks. This was his third mission.
Hammond: Major I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Carter: With or without reinforcements we are going back sir.
Hammond: The hell you are!

Red Sky

Rite of Passage

Cassandra: Dominic’s waiting.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Fine. invite him in. I’m sure he’d love have a piece of the birthday cake that Sam went to all the trouble to bake.
Carter: Buy.
Dr. Fraiser: Bring.

Cassandra: I know what’s happening to me.
Carter: Oh. Okay. What?
Cassandra: I’m changing. Into something. And there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
Carter: You know how me and your mom feel when someone issues a challenge like that.
Cassandra: Dr. Fraiser isn’t my real mother. She died. When Nirrti poisoned the village.
Carter: I know that. Janet knows that too. And please, don’t call her Dr. Fraiser.
Cassandra: Why?
Carter: Because she loves you and she deserves better. We all do for that matter.

Cassandra: Jack calls them horses.
Carter: Yeah, well, that’s Colonel O’Neill for you.
Cassandra: He always pretends he’s not as smart as he really is.

Cassandra: What do you see when you look at me now?
Carter: I see you. And until your head starts spinning around—and probably even then—I will still see you.

Carter: Sir, I don’t have to remind you what Cassandra has gone through because of the Goa’uld. Now if we’re going to put what we may learn or what might happen over her life—
O’Neill: It’s time to pack it in.
Jackson: I agree.

Beast of Burden

Jackson: These men, whoever they are, abducted the unas I refer to as Chaka.
Carter: That’s the one that kidnapped you.
Jackson: Same one.
Jackson: Their dress indicates pre-industrialization, but they don’t seem to have any Jaffa tattoos, so the presence of Goa’uld weaponry seem contradictory.
Teal’c: Indeed.

Jackson: Sam, it’s Daniel. Do you read?
Carter: Daniel, you okay?
Jackson: Ah, I’ve been better.
Carter: Colonel O’Neill?
Jackson: Oh, physically fine. But I’m, I’m not expecting a birthday present any time soon.

The Tomb

O’Neill: How hard could it be?
Jackson: It’s a dead language. I doubt anyone’s even stood here for three thousands years.
Carter: I wouldn’t be too sure about that.
O’Neill: Whatcha got there?
Carter: Empty pack of cigarettes. In Russian.

Jackson: If they went through the Gate before everyone at the Russian base was killed they could still be out there.
Carter: It’s doubtful they would have survived this long. The planet’s surface temperature averages 135 degrees fahrenheit in the shade.
O’Neill: Shade? I don’t remember shade.

Jackson: If these men disappeared ten months ago, how could one of the bodies decompose that fast?
Carter: It didn’t decompose. This skeleton’s covered in tiny teeth marks.
O’Neill: Something ate this guy?

Carter: Whatever killed the Russian soldier killed the Goa’uld as well.
O’Neill: How’d it get in there?
Carter: I don’t know.
Jackson: Better question is, where is it now?

Carter: Sir, we’ve got a problem.
O’Neill: We’ve got a lot of problems, Carter. Can you be more specific?

Between Two Fires

Carter: Sir? Narim just handed me this.
Narim: Samantha, I’m sorry I was unable to tell you this in person. I do not know who I can trust. Before his death, Omoc gave me a warning and I believe it to be true. Earth is in grave danger.

2001

O’Neill: Break out the fishing gear, General. Our job here is done.
Hammond: I take it your mission was successful.
Carter: In a word, sir. Yes.
O’Neill: In two words. Yes sir.

Hammond: By the way, what do our new friends call themselves?
Carter: The Aschen, sir. They’re called the Aschen.

O’Neill: This is what you’re wearing?
Faxon: What’s wrong with it?
Teal’c: Nothing.
Carter: You look fine.

Desperate Measures

Adrian Conrad: The exits are sealed, Major.
Carter: Who are you? What the hell am I doing here?
Adrian Conrad: My name is Adrian Conrad. You’re here because of me.

O’Neill: You alright?
Carter: Yeah. Very dramatic. Thank you.
O’Neill: You bet.

Wormhole Extreme

Jackson: Why would somebody with two PhDs become a teamster?
Carter: For the money I guess.

Proving Ground

O’Neill: What’s your excuse?
Satterfield (Grace Park): I didn’t believe Dr. Jackson was the Goa’uld.
Carter: Why not, Sattefield?
Satterfield: I don’t know, ma’am. It was just my instinct.
Jennifer Hailey (Elisabeth Rosen): She thinks he’s cute.

Carter: You have to admit he’s got leadership potential.
O’Neill: Do I?
Carter: Grogan. He’ll make a fine addition to an SG team one day.
O’Neill: He’ll make a fine target. He’s good at getting shot.
Carter: Okay, Satterfield’s bright.
O’Neill: I give her high marks for her… high marks. But I’d never go into combat with her.
Carter: And there’s Hailey.
O’Neill: Oh yeah. Four foot nine fighting machine.

Carter: Think back to when you were their age.
O’Neill: I was never their age.

48 Hours

Carter: The error we’re receiving from the Gate seems to indicate that there is still an energy pattern stored in the memory buffer.
Jackson: Teal’c.
Carter: If the al’kesh crashed into the DHD on the other planet, it woul have cut off power to the outgoing Gate. The wormhole would have been severed prematurely. Now if that happened before our Gate was able to reconvert Teal’c’s energy signature back into matter…
Hammond: Teal’c is in our Stargate.
Carter: His energy signature, yes. Stored in the memory.
Jackson: Well let’s get him out.
Carter: Right now I’m not sure how. That’s not the worst problem.
Jackson: There’s worse?

Colonel Simmons (John de Lancie): I was just introducing Major Carter, and Dr. McKay. The doctor has been studying the Stargate program out of Area 51 for over a year now.
Carter: Without access to a working Gate?
Dr. Rodney McKay (David Hewlett): I had a virtual computer model that was built when the second Gate was there.
Hammond: Well I’m sure it’s a thrill to be here to see the real thing.
McKay: Hm. Not really.
Simmons: The Pentagon feels that Dr. McKay has become the world’s foremost expert.
Hammond: Next to Major Carter.
McKay: With all due respect, Major. You spend most of your time in the field.
Hammond: Major Carter spent two years working on the Gate prior to her five years of service at the SGC. She’s the one who made this program viable.
McKay: Actually, the interface she designed is full of flaws.
Carter: Well I admit it’s not perfect, but it’s certainly—
McKay: It has caused numerous unnecessary situations, any of which could have ended in catastrophe.
Simmons: And we certainly don’t want that to happen. That’s why the doctor is here to help.
Hammond: Good. He can report to Major Carter.
Simmons: And the two of them might be able to work together to solve this problem to get Teal’c back in one piece. In the time allotted.
Carter: Excuse me? In the time allotted?
Simmons: Forty-eight hours.

McKay: I’m guessing we got off on the wrong foot.
Carter: To what probability factor did you use figuring that out?
McKay: For the record, I don’t work for Colonel Simmons.
Carter: What difference does that make?
McKay: I thought I sensed a little tension there.

Carter: My job is to present the risks, not to decide whether to take them. Now if you have something positive to add, do it. Otherwise get out of my lab!

Carter: Is there any chance you could get the Russians to give us their DHD?
Jackson: Not without giving back Alaska.

McKay: I wish I didn’t find you so attractive. I always had a weakness for dumb blondes.
Carter: Go suck a lemon.

Carter: Teal’c, as far as you know what just happened?
Teal’c: I have my revenge. Tanith is dead.
O’Neill: That’s nice. I’m happy for you.

Summit

Ren Au: The deaths of Kronos and Apophis created a power vacuum that the remaining System Lords have been trying to exploit. Over the past seven months they have suffered heavy losses and expended an enormous amount of resources fighting amongst themselves.
O’Neill: Let the good times roll.
Ren Au: Unfortunately, the good times may be coming to an end. They declared a truce. And now it looks as if they’re going to have a meeting to discuss the establishment of a new order.
Hammond: So you want to stop them?
Ren Au: Quite the opposite actually. We want them to meet. It will give us the rare opportunity to strike against all of them at once.
Carter: You’re talking about taking out the entire Goa’uld leadership?
Ren Au: We are.
O’Neill: Welcome to the dark side.

Jackson: So how are you gonna get me in?
Jacob: Yu will be among the System Lords attending.
Carter: I thought you said he was going in as a slave.
Jacob: The System Lord Yu.
Carter: Little joke there.
O’Neill: Funny!

Carter: What are you doing?
Ren Au: I’m cutting power to the base. The energy signature would give away our position. Now they’ll have to resort to random bombardment.
O’Neill: Well that’s encouraging.

Last Stand

O’Neill: How do we know it’s working?
Carter: I guess if someone comes to rescue us.

Fail Safe

Jackson: Well one of our allies will help.
Carter: I hope you’re right. Otherwise in eleven days and sixteen hours, all life on Earth will be wiped out.

O’Neill: “Assume there isn’t one” what?
Carter: Recall device.
O’Neill: The X-301? That was you guys?
Tech Guy: Well you have to admit it performed beautifully right up to the point where you and Teal’c were sent into deep space.

Tech Guy 2: I think I speak for about six billion people when I say, “good luck.”
Carter: You too. {they go to leave}
O’Neill: I’m gonna want to talk to you guys.

Carter: Sublight drive is down.
Teal’c: As are shields and communication.
Jackson: A lot easier to list what is working.
O’Neill: Bomb?
Carter: It’s good to go, sir. If it comes right down to it, we can detonate it right here. What’s our position?
Jackson: Well, personally, I’m against it. If you want to know where the ship is, we’re about five meters above the surface at the bottom of the crater.

Carter: Sir, the asteroid’s core is composed almost entirely of naquadah.
O’Neill: Of course it is.

Carter: …Now find the wires leading from the timer to the detonator and cut the red one.
O’Neill: Carter. They’re all yellow.

O’Neill: Carter. I can see my house.

The Warrior

Carter: K’tano’s managed to collect Jaffa from at least six different System Lords. He must be doing something right.
O’Neill: Well they have no problem with dying. I have a problem with that.
Jackson: You have a problem with dying or you have a problem with the fact that they don’t have a problem with dying?
O’Neill: Both. I think.

Menace

Carter: There’s a pulse.
Jackson: It has a heartbeat?
O’Neill: It has a heart?

The Sentinel

Meridian

Revelations

Carter: So what are we supposed to do, keep working like nothing happened?
Hammond: I understand how you feel.
Carter: With all due respect, sir, I don’t even understand how I feel. We didn’t even have a memorial service.
Hammond: We’re not even sure that he’s dead.

Carter: So maybe Daniel has achieved something of great cosmic significance. I don’t know. And to be honest with you right now I don’t really care. I’d rather have him back.
Teal’c: As would I.

Carter: I thought Thor was dead.
Heimdahl: He is not. Although his life is in great danger. He is a prisoner of the Goa’uld.

Osiris: Major Carter.
Carter: Osiris.
Osiris: We have Colonel O’Neill and the sholva. So that just leaves… Dr. Jackson. Where is he?
Carter: Forget it.

Osiris: Once more. Where is Dr. Jackson?
Carter: He’s dead.
Osiris: You lie.
Carter: Go to hell.