Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark

1989

Young Shawn: I’m sorry, Dad, but since when did bandanas count as hats. I was close.
Henry: Close doesn’t cut it anymore, Shawn. You’re going soft on me.
Young Shawn: You know I’m eleven, right.
Henry: This is not some bar trick, Shawn. This is about survival. Knowing how many hats are in a room may very well save your life one day. Now pay attention. Today we’re learning about worst case scenarios.

Present Day

Juliet: What are you playing with over there?
Lassiter: It’s blood.
Gus in his head: Binshot binshot binshot… Oh my god. Shawn’s been shot.

Shawn: We are not here to hone in on your case. We just heard “ice cream” on our police radio and it just happened to be Gus’ snack time.

Rollins (John Hawkes): How the hell do you escape from the trunk of a car?
Shawn: In his defense I think I’m the only kid whose father taught him how to kick out the tail light from the back of a trunk.

Shawn: You know I’ve heard people say that with gunshot wounds it’s really all about the shock, you know? That at some point the bullet wound itself just goes numb. You can’t feel anything. It’s not true. I can say without a doubt this is the most pain I’ve ever been in in my life. So if you wouldn’t mind turning the other way I would really like to weep now.
Garth (Michael Rooker): It’s a flesh wound, alright? You’re fine. Stop whining.

Shawn: So you could probably take a target from what, eight hundred yards?
Garth: Twelve hundred. If the wind conditions are right.
Shawn: Right?
Garth: Oh yeah. Well fifteen. Possibly.
Shawn: That’s impressive.
Garth: Some people get pretty good at that stuff.
Shawn: It does beg the question. Why didn’t you kill me at three feet? We both know that you could have but you didn’t.

Henry: Think you could pick up the pace, Mr. Viability?
Lassiter: There’s an excellent chance I was bitten by a tick back there.

Juliet: I still don’t get the connection to the ice cream truck.
Gus: I think Shawn did. I’ve been checking his history to see what his most recent web searches were. The Mentalist Spoilers dot com. BillyZane dot thumbnails slash hair dot com.

Shawn: I know you said not to talk, but to be completely frank with you, man, it’s always been an issue for me.

Shawn: The question is, where’s is gonna go down. And when.
Rollins: What do you care? You’ll be dead.

Gus: Gun it, Jules. Give it all its got.
Juliet: This is all its got.

Shawn: Look at you, buddy! You’re like Vin Diesel.
Gus: That makes Jules Michelle Rodriguez and you Paul Walker.
Shawn: This is no good.
Gus: Don’t worry, Shawn. You’ll be alright.
Shawn: I know. I’ll be fine.
I just really don’t want to be Paul Walker. Not even for one day.

Henry: Hold on!
Shawn: Great idea, Dad! I was thinking about not doing that.

Lassiter: Spencer, what the hell are you doing?
Shawn: Which Spencer are you talking to?
Lassiter: Doesn’t matter. You’re the same person.

Lassiter: Nice shooting, Detective.
Shawn: Did you just call me Detective?
Lassiter: No.

Shawn: You know I had to tell Juliet that I loved her.
Gus: Wow. Was it awkward?
Shawn: Little bit. Of course at the time I was more concerned with not getting shot again.
Gus: I guess you were just doing what you had to do.
Shawn: The weird thing is, I think she was about to say it back to me.
Gus: I bet she was just playing along. Doing what she had to do.
Shawn: Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right.