Doctor Who Series 6

A Good Man Goes to War


Catrin Stewart  Charlie Baker  Christina Chong  Dan Johnston  Dan Starkey  Danny Sapani  Frances Barber  Henry Wood  Hugh Bonneville  Neve McIntosh  Richard Trinder  Simon Fisher Baker

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Demon’s Run

Amy: I wish I could tell you that you’ll be loved. That you’ll be safe and cared for and protected. But this isn’t the time for lies. What you are going to be, Melody, is very very brave.
Madame Kovarian (Frances Barber): Two minutes.
Amy: But not as brave as they all have to be. Because there’s someone coming. I don’t know where he is, or what he’s doing, but trust me. He’s on his way.

Twenty Thousand Light Years Away

Cybervoice: Intruder level nine. Seal level nine.

Amy: There’s a man who’s never going to let us down. And not even an army can get in the way.

Amy: He’s the last of his kind. He looks young but he’s lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you, you will never be alone. Because this man is your father. He has a name, but the people of our world know him better… as the Last Centurion.

Rory: I have a message and a question. A message from the Doctor and a question from me. Where is my wife? Oh don’t give me those blank looks. The twelfth Cyber Legion monitors this entire quadrant. You hear everything. So you tell me what I need to know. You tell me now and I’ll be on my way.
Cyberman: What is the Doctor’s message? {the fleet explodes behind Rory}
Rory: Would you like me to repeat the question?

Thin One (Dan Johnston): A whole Cyber Legion though. He just blew them all up. To make a point.
Fat One (Charlie Baker): We’re being paid to fight him, not praise him. Praising costs way more.

Fat One: Digger says he once chased the Atraxi off a planet. And then called them back for a scolding!
Thin One: Fight him, not praise him.

Guard 1: Now. Try again. {he holds up two pieces of paper—one blank}
Guard 2: That one.
Guard 1: No, that’s the psychic. You gotta look for the fractals. Don’t look bored. We’re on yellow alert.
Guard 2: We’ve been on yellow alert for three weeks.

Overhead: Reminder: Do not interact with Headless Monks without divine permission.

Fat One: You’re not supposed to stare at them. And if they think you’re trying to see under their hoods they’ll kill you. On the spot.
Thin One
: Why are they called the Headless Monks? They can’t really be headless.
Lorna Bucket (Christina Chong): They believe the domain of faith is the heart and the domain of doubt is the head. They follow their hearts, that’s all.
Thin One
: You’re Lorna Bucket, aren’t you?
Lorna: Yeah.
Thin One: Hello. I’m the Thin One. This is my husband. He’s the Fat One.
Lorna: Don’t you have names?
Fat One: We’re the Thin Fat Gay Married Anglican Marines. Why would we need names as well?

Fat One: Oh! Looks like I’m off. Time for my conversion tutorial. See you in a bit. {he leaves with the Monks} Do you have Lent? ‘Cause I’m not good at giving things up.

Thin One: Lorna Bucket. You’ve had an encounter, haven’t you? You’ve met him.
Lorna: I was just a kid.
Thin One: But what’s he like? The Doctor?
Lorna: He said, “run.”
Thin One: Just “run”?
Lorna: He said it a lot.
Thin One: And this was in the Gamma Forests, yeah? ‘Cause you’re a Gamma girl, aren’t you? What are you doing here? The forests are Heaven-neutral.
Lorna: Yeah. And thirty seconds of the Doctor is the only thing that ever happened there.

Fat One: Oh this is nice. I like this. I mean, quite a lot of red. Hope it’s not to hide the stains. What’s in the little boxes?
: Welcome Applicant, to the Order of the Headless. It is traditional for visiting armies of other faiths to offer individuals for conversion to our order. You have been selected. Are you ready to make a donation?

Thin One: So what do you think? If the Doctor’s really coming here, where is he?
Lorna: He’s the Doctor. He could be anywhere in time and space.

London, 1888 A.D.

Madame Vastra (Neve McIntosh): Thank you, Parker, I won’t be needing you again tonight.
Parker: Yes, m’lady.

Jenny (Catrin Stewart): You’re back early, mum. Another case cracked, I assume?
Madame Vastra: Send a telegram to Inspector Abberline of the Yard. Jack the Ripper has claimed his last victim.
Jenny: How did you find him?
Madame Vastra: Stringy. But tasty all the same. I shan’t be needing dinner.
Jenny: Congratulations, mum. However… a matter has arisen in the drawing room. {they find the TARDIS} It just appeared. What does it mean?
Madame Vastra: It means a very old debt is to be repaid. Pack the cases, Jenny. We’re going to need the swords.

The Battle of Zaruthstra, 4037 A.D.

Arthur (Henry Wood): Will I be okay?
Commander Strax (Dan Starkey): Of course you will, my boy! You’ll be up and around in no time. And perhaps one day you and I shall meet on the field of battle and I will destroy you for the glory of the Sontaran Empire.
Arthur: Thanks nurse.

Captain Harcourt (Richard Trinder): Commander Strax. I just have to ask: a Sontaran nurse?
Commander Strax: I serve a penance to restore the honor of my clone batch. It is the greatest punishment a Sontaran can endure, to help the weak and sick.
Captain Harcourt: Who came up with that one? {the TARDIS materializes}
Commander Strax: Tonight though, perhaps my penance is over. Captain Harcourt, I hope someday to meet you in the glory of battle where I shall crush the life from your worthless human form. {they bow} Try and get some rest.


River alarms going off: Oh turn it off! I’m breaking in not out. This is River Song back in her cell. Oh, and I’ll take breakfast at the usual time. Thank you!

River: Oh! Are you boys dressing up as Romans now? I thought nobody read my memos.
Rory: Doctor Song. It’s Rory. Sorry, have we met yet? Time streams. I’m not quite sure where we are.
River: Yes. Yes, we’ve met. Hello, Rory.
Rory: What’s wrong?
River: It’s my birthday. The Doctor took me ice skating on the River Thames in 1814. The last of the Great Frost Fairs. He got Stevie Wonder to sing for me under London Bridge.
Rory: Stevie Wonder sang in 1814?
River: Yes, he did. But you must never tell him.
Rory: I’ve come from the Doctor too.
River: Yes, but at a different point in time.
Rory: Unless there’s two of them.
River: Now. That’s a whole different birthday.

Rory: He needs you.
River checking the diary: Demon’s Run.
Rory: How did you know?
River: I’m from his future. I always know. Why on Earth are you wearing that?
Rory: The Doctor’s idea.
River: Of course. His rules of engagement: float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Rory: Look ridiculous.
River: Have you considered heels?
Rory: They’ve taken Amy. And our baby. The Doctor’s getting some people together. We’re going after her, but he needs you too.
River: I can’t. Not yet anyway.
Rory: I’m sorry?
River: This is the Battle of Demon’s Run. The Doctor’s darkest hour. He’ll rise higher than ever before and then fall so much further. And… I can’t be with him ’til the very end.
Rory: Why not?
River: ‘Cause this is it. This is the day he finds out who I am.

Madame Kovarian: You appear to be closing down, Dorium.

Madame Kovarian: What have you heard?
Dorium Maldovar (Simon Fisher-Baker): That you pricked the side of a mighty beast, Madame Kovarian, and entirely failed to run. I admire your courage. {He repositions the barrels aimed at his head} I should like to admire it from afar.
Madame Kovarian: We’ve been waiting a month. He’s done nothing.
Dorium: You would think so. There are people all over this galaxy that owe that man a debt. By now a few of them will have found a blue box waiting on their doorstep. Poor devils.
Colonel Manton (Danny Sapani): You think he’s raising an army?
Dorium: You think he isn’t? If that man is finally collecting on his debts, God help you. And God help his debtors.
Colonel Manton: Why?
Dorium: Colonel Manton. All those stories you’ve heard about him. They’re not stories, they’re true. Really. You’re not telling me you don’t know what’s coming.
Colonel Manton: We’re wasting our time here.
Madame Kovarian: Agreed.
Dorium: The asteroid. Where you’ve made your base. Do you know why they call it Demon’s Run?
Colonel Manton: How do you know the location of our base?
Dorium: You’re with the Headless Monks. They’re old customers of mine.
Madame Kovarian: It’s just some old saying.
Dorium: A very old saying. The oldest. “Demon’s Run. When a good man goes to war.”

Dorium as the TARDIS materializes: No! No no! Please! Not me! You don’t need me! Why would you need me? I’m old! I’m fat! I’m blue! You can’t need me!

Colonel Manton: He is not the devil. He is not a god. He is not a goblin or a phantom or a trickster. The Doctor is a living, breathing man. And as I look around this room I know one thing: we’re sure as hell gonna fix that.

Lorna: Sorry. I shouldn’t be here. I’m meant to be at the thing. I brought you something. Your child’s name in the language of my people. It’s a prayer leaf. And we believe if you keep this with you, your child will always come home to you.
Amy: Can I borrow your gun?
Lorna: Why?
Amy: ‘Cause I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna keep talking.

Amy: They’re talking like he’s famous. The Doctor isn’t famous.
Lorna: He meets a lot of people. Some of them remember. He’s sort of like a… I don’t know. A Dark Legend.
Amy: Dark? Have you met him?
Lorna: Yeah. But I was just a little girl then.
Amy: So was I.
Lorna: You’ve been with him a long time then?
Amy: No. He came back for me.
Lorna: You must be very special.
Amy: Hey, you can wait a long time for the Doctor but he’s worth it, okay. The thing is, he’s coming. No question about it. Just you make sure you’re on the right side when he gets here. Not for my sake, for yours.

Colonel Manton: On this day, in this place, the Doctor will fall. The man who talks, the man who reasons, the man who lies will meet the perfect answer. Some of you have wondered why we have allied ourselves with the Headless Monks. Perhaps you should have wondered why we call them Headless. It’s time you knew what these guys have sacrificed for faith. As you all know it is a level one heresy, punishable by death, to lower the hood of a Headless Monk. But by the Divine Grant of the Papal Mainframe herself, on this one and only occasion I can show you the truth. Because these guys never can be persuaded. {he lifts back the first monk’s cowl} They never can be afraid. {he lifts back the second monk’s cowl} And they can never ever be— {he lifts back the third monk’s cowl to find}
The Doctor: Surprised!

The Doctor: Hello everyone! Guess who? Please, point a gun at me if it helps you relax. You’re only human.

Vastra and Jenny overpower the security guards
Madame Vastra: Go on, resist. I am ever so hungry.
Jenny: Now dear, which button controls the lights?

Colonel Manton: Doctor, you will come with me right now.
The Doctor: Three minutes, forty seconds. {yelling} Amelia Pond! Get your coat! {the lights go out}

The Doctor: I’m not a phantom.
Colonel Manton: Doctor?
The Doctor: I’m not a trickster.
Colonel Manton: Doctor?
The Doctor: I’m a Monk.
Colonel Manton: Doctor, show yourself!
Cleric: It’s him! He’s here. It’s him! {they shoot a monk}
Colonel Manton: Weapons down! Do not fire!

Colonel Manton: Stop. Wait. Listen to me. I am disarming my weapon pack. Monks, I do this in good faith. I am now unarmed. All of you, discharge your weapon packs. The Doctor is trying to make fools of us. We are soldiers of God. We are not fools.

Madame Vastra: Colonel Manton is regaining control.
Jenny: Where’s the Doctor going?

In the main room, the disarmed soldiers find themselves surrounded by a mix of Silurian, Judoon, and Commander Strax
Commander Strax
: This base is now under our command.
Colonel Manton: I have a fleet out there. If Demon’s Run goes down, there is an automatic distress call.
The Doctor: Not if we knock out your communications array. And you’ve got incoming! Danny Boy to the Doctor, Danny Boy to the Doctor! Give ’em hell, Danny Boy!

Madame Kovarian: I need to get off this station now. Bring me the child!

Commander Strax: Don’t slump, it’s bad for your spine.

Madame Kovarian: Get back in there with the rest of them. Remember, the Doctor must think he’s winning. Right until the trap closes. I’ll take my ship from here.

Madame Kovarian: I have a crew of twenty. How do you expect to gain control of my ship?
Henry Avery (Hugh Bonneville):The ship is ours, m’Lady.

The Doctor: Sorry Colonel Manton, I lied. Three minutes, forty-two seconds.

Commander Strax: Colonel Manton, you will give the order for your men to withdraw.
The Doctor: No. Colonel Manton, I want you to tell your men to run away.
Colonel Manton: What?
The Doctor: Those words. “Run away.” I want you to be famous for those exact words. I want people to call you Colonel Runaway. I want children laughing outside your door, ’cause they’ve found the house of Colonel Runaway. And when people come to you and ask if trying to get to me through the people I love! {he composes himself}… is in any way a good idea, I want you to tell them your name. Look, I’m angry, that’s new. I’m really not sure what’s going to happen now.
Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.
The Doctor: Good men don’t need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.
Madame Kovarian: Give the order. Give the order, Colonel Runaway.

Amy: Who’s there? You watch it, because I am armed and really dangerous, and… cross.
Rory: Yeah. Like I don’t know that.

Amy: They took her. Rory, they took our baby away.
Rory walking in with Melody: Now, Mrs. Williams, that is never ever going to happen.
Amy: Oh my god. Where has she been, what have they done to her?
: She’s fine. Amy, she’s fine. I checked. She’s beautiful. Oh god, I was going to be cool. I wanted to be cool. Look at me.
Amy: You’re okay. Crying Roman with a baby: definitely cool.

The Doctor: Ew. Kissing and crying. I’ll be back in a bit.
Rory: Oy! You! Get in here. Now.

Rory: My daughter. What do you think?
The Doctor: Hello! Hello, ah… baby.
Amy: Melody.
The Doctor: Melody! Hello Melody Pond.
Rory: Melody Williams.
Amy: Is a geography teacher. Melody Pond is a super hero.
The Doctor talking to Melody: Well yes I suppose she does smell nice. Never really sniffed her. Maybe I should give it a go.

The Doctor: It’s okay, she’s still all yours. And really you should call her Mummy, not Big Milk Thing.
Amy: Okay, what are you doing?
The Doctor: I speak baby.
Amy: No you don’t.
The Doctor: I speak everything. Don’t I, Melody Pond? {straightening his bow tie} No it’s not. It’s cool.

Madame Vastra: Doctor! Take a look. They’re leaving. Demon’s Run is ours without a drop of blood spilled. My friend, you have never risen higher.

Rory: Hey, what’s wrong?
Amy: She doesn’t like the TARDIS noise. I asked him to turn something off, but he was all, “But I don’t want to punch a hole in the space-time continuum.”

The Doctor: She’s not hungry, she’s tired. Sorry, Melody. They’re just not listening.
Amy: What’s this?
The Doctor: Very pretty, according to your daughter.
Rory: It’s a cot.
The Doctor: No flies on the Roman. Give her here.
Rory: But where would you get a cot?
Amy: It’s old. Really old. Doctor, um, do you have children?
The Doctor: No.
Amy: Have you ever had children?
The Doctor to Melody: No, it’s real. It’s my hair.
Amy: Who slept in here?

The Doctor: Things to do. I’ve still gotta work out what this base is for. We can’t leave ’til we know.

The Doctor: Centurion, permission to hug?
Rory: Be aware. I do have a sword.
The Doctor: At all times. {He hugs her}. You were on the TARDIS too—your heart, mind and soul. But physically, yes, you were still in this place.
Amy: And when I saw that face looking through the hatch? That woman looking at me?
The Doctor: Reality bleeding through. They must have taken you quite awhile back. Just before America.
Rory: That’s probably enough hugging now. So her Flesh avatar was with us all that time. But that means they were projecting a control signal right into the TARDIS, wherever we were in time and space.
The Doctor: Yeah, they’re very clever.
Amy: Who are?
Rory: Whoever wants our baby.
Amy: Why do they want her?
The Doctor: Exactly.
Rory: Is there anything you’re not telling us? You knew Amy wasn’t real, you never said.
The Doctor: No. I couldn’t be sure they weren’t listening.
Amy: But you always hold out on us. Please, not this time, Doctor, it’s our baby. Tell us something. One little thing.
The Doctor: It’s mine.
Rory: What is?
The Doctor: The cot. It’s my cot. I slept in it.

The Doctor: You’ve hacked into their software then?
Dorium: I believe I sold it to them.
The Doctor: Oo! So what have we learned?
Madame Vastra: That anger is always the shortest distance to a mistake.
The Doctor: I’m sorry?
Madame Vastra: The words of an old friend. Who once found me in the London Underground attempting to avenge my sisters on perfectly innocent tunnel diggers.
The Doctor: Well, you were very cross at the time.
Madame Vastra: As you were today, old friend. Point taken, I hope. Now I have a question. A simple one. Is Melody human?
The Doctor: Sorry? What? Of course she is! Completely human! What are you talking about?
Dorium: They’ve been scanning her since she was born. And I think they found what they were looking for.
The Doctor: Human DNA.
Dorium: Look closer. Human plus. Specifically human plus Time Lord.

Lorna: But I heard her talking. This is a trap. Why would I lie to you?
Rory: Well you might want to take a look at your uniform.
: The only reason I joined the Clerics was so I could meet the Doctor again.
Jenny: You wanted to meet him, so you joined an army to fight him?
Lorna: Well, how else do you meet a great warrior?
Amy: He’s not a warrior.
Lorna: Then why’s he called the Doctor? It’s starting. Please, listen to me.

The Doctor: But she’s human. She’s Amy and Rory’s daughter.
Madame Vastra: You’ve told me about your people. They became what they did through prolonged exposure to the Time Vortex. The Untempered Schism.
The Doctor: Over billions of years! It didn’t just happen.
Madame Vastra: So how close is she? Could she even regenerate?
The Doctor: No! No! I don’t think so.
Madame Vastra: You don’t sound so sure.
The Doctor: Because I don’t understand how this happened.
Madame Vastra: Which leads me to ask when did it happen?
The Doctor: When?!
Madame Vastra: I am trying to be delicate. I know how you can blush. {Dorium laughs} When did this baby… begin?
The Doctor: Oh you mean…
Madame Vastra: Quite.
The Doctor: Well how would I know? That’s all human and private stuff. It just sort of goes on, they don’t put up a balloon or anything!
Madame Vastra: Well could the child have begun on the TARDIS, in flight in the Vortex?
The Doctor: No! No! Impossible! It’s all running about, sexy fish vampires. And blowing up stuff. And Rory wasn’t even there at the beginning. Then he was dead. Then he didn’t exist. Then he was plastic. Then I had to reboot the whole Universe—long story. So, technically, the first time they were on the TARDIS together in this version of reality was on their w…
Madame Vastra: On their what?
The Doctor: On their wedding night.

The Doctor: It doesn’t make sense. You can’t just cook yourself a Time Lord!
Madame Vastra: Of course not. But you gave them one hell of a start and they’ve been working very hard ever since.
Dorium: And yet they gave in so easily. Does this not bother anyone else?
The Doctor: Amy, she worried the baby would have a Time Head. She said that—
Madame Vastra: Only you would ignore the instincts of a mother.
Dorium: Or the instincts of a coward. This is too easy. There’s something wrong.
The Doctor: Why even do it? Even if you could get your hands on a brand new Time Lord, what for?
Madame Vastra: A weapon?
The Doctor: Why would a Time Lord be a weapon?
Madame Vastra: Well. They’ve seen you.
The Doctor: Me?
Madame Vastra: Mr. Maldovar, you’re right. This was too easy. We should get back to the others.
The Doctor: Me.

Madame Kovarian: I see you accessed our files. Do you understand yet? Oh don’t worry, I’m a long way away. But I like to keep tabs on you. The child then, what do you think?
The Doctor: What is she?
Madame Kovarian: Hope. Hope in this endless, bitter war.
The Doctor: What war? Against who?
Madame Kovarian: Against you, Doctor.

Amy: What’s that?
Madame Vastra: Force field.
Lorna: And those are the doors. Locking.
Madame Vastra: Apparently we’re not leaving.
Rory: Is that the monks?
Dorium: Oh dear god! That’s the attack prayer!
Rory: Quick, come with me!
Madame Vastra: Commander Strax!
Commander Strax: I’m trying to seal off this area of the lighting grid.
Madame Vastra: This is where we’ll make our stand. Clear lines of sight on all approaches.

Amy: Rory, no offense to the others, but you let them all die first, okay?
Rory: You’re so Scottish.

Madame Vastra: The child, at all costs! Protect the child!

The Doctor: The child is not a weapon!
Madame Kovarian: Oh give us time. She can be. She will be.
The Doctor: Except you’ve already lost her and I swear I will never let you anywhere near her again.
Madame Kovarian: Oh Doctor. Fooling you once was a joy. But fooling you twice the same way? It’s a privilege.

River: Demons run when a good man goes to war
Night will fall and drown the sun
When a good man goes to war
Friendship dies and true love lies
Night will fall and the dark will rise
When a good man goes to war
Demon’s Run, but count the cost
The battle’s won but the child is lost

Commander Strax: It’s strange. I have often dreamed of dying in combat. I am not enjoying it as much as I’d hoped.

Amy: So they took her anyway. All this was for nothing.
The Doctor: I am so sorry.
Jenny: Amy, it’s not his fault.
Amy: I know. I know.

Madame Vastra: Doctor, there’s someone who wants to speak to you. Her name is Lorna. She came to warn us.

The Doctor: Hey. Hello.
Lorna: Doctor.
The Doctor: You helped my friends. Thank you.
Lorna: I met you once. In the Gamma Forests. You don’t remember me.
The Doctor: Hey, of course I remember. I remember everyone. Hey, we ran, you and me. Didn’t we run, Lorna? {she dies} Who was she?
Madame Vastra: I don’t know, but she was very brave.
The Doctor: They’re always brave. They’re always brave.

Madame Vastra: So. What now? They’d almost certainly have taken her to Earth, raise her in the correct environment.
The Doctor: Yes, they did. And it’s already too late.
Madame Vastra: You’re giving up? You never do that.
The Doctor: Yeah, and don’t you sometimes wish I did?

River appearing: Well then soldier, how goes the day?
The Doctor: Where the hell have you been? Every time you’ve asked I have been there! Where the hell were you today?
River: I couldn’t have prevented this.
The Doctor: You could have tried!
River: And so, my love, could you. {to Amy} I know you’re not all right. But hold tight, Amy. Because you’re going to be.
The Doctor: You think I wanted this? I didn’t do this! This, this wasn’t me!
River: This was exactly you. All this. All of it. You make them so afraid. When you began all those years ago, sailing off to see the Universe, did you ever think you’d become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name. “Doctor.” The word for healer and wise man throughout the Universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word Doctor means “Mighty Warrior.” How far you’ve come. And now they’ve taken a child. The child of your best friends. And they’re going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down. And all this, my love, in fear of you.
The Doctor: Who are you?
River: Oh look! Your cot. I haven’t seen that in a very long while!
The Doctor: No, you tell me— you tell me who you are.
River: I am telling you. Can’t you read?

The Doctor: Hello.
River: Hello.
The Doctor: But that means!
River: I’m afraid it does.
The Doctor: Oo. But you and I, we we we, uh…
River: Yes.
The Doctor: How do I look?
River: Amazing.
The Doctor: I better be.
River: Yes, you’d better be.
The Doctor: Vastra and Jenny, ’til the next time. Rory and Amy, I know where to find your daughter and on my life she will be safe! River, get them all home.
Rory: Doctor!
Amy: No! Where are you going? No.

Amy: Where is he going? What did you tell him?
River: Amy, you have to stay calm.
Amy: Tell me what you told the Doctor.
Rory: No, stop it.
River: It’s okay, Rory. She’s fine. She’s good. It’s the TARDIS translation matrix. It takes awhile to kick in with the written word. You have to concentrate.
Amy: I still can’t read it.
River: It’s because it’s Gallifreyan. It doesn’t translate. {she hands her the leaf} But this will. It’s your daughter’s name in the language of the Forest.
Amy: I know my daughter’s name.
River: Except they don’t have a word for pond. Because the only water in the forest is the river. The Doctor will find your daughter. And he will care for her, whatever it takes. And I know that. It’s me. I’m Melody. I’m your daughter.