Doctor Who Eleventh Doctor

Series 5


Matt Smith

User Review
5 (1 vote)

The Eleventh Hour

The Doctor: Can I have an apple? All I can think about. Apples. I love apples. Maybe I’m having a craving. That’s new. I’ve never had cravings before. Look at that.
Amelia Pond: Are you okay?
The Doctor: Just had a fall. All of the way down there into the library. Hell of a climb back up.
Amelia Pond: You’re soaking wet.
The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.
Amelia Pond: You said you were in the library.
The Doctor: So’s the swimming pool.
Amelia Pond: Are you a policeman?
The Doctor: Why? Did you call a policeman?
Amelia Pond: Did you come about the crack in my wall?
The Doctor: What cra— he falls
Amelia Pond: Are you all right, Mister?
The Doctor: I’m fine! I’m okay! This is all perfectly normal.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don’t know yet. Still cooking. Does it scare you?
Amelia Pond: It just looks a bit weird.
The Doctor: No no no. The crack in your wall, does it scare you?
Amelia Pond: Yes.
The Doctor: Well then, no time to lose. I’m the Doctor. Do everything I tell you, don’t ask stupid questions, and don’t wander off. turns and smacks into a tree
Amelia Pond: You alright?
The Doctor: Better days. Steering’s a bit off.

The Doctor: That’s disgusting. What is that?
Amelia: An apple.
The Doctor: Apple’s rubbish. I hate apples.
Amelia: You said you liked them. No no no. I like yogurt. Yogurt’s my favorite. Gimme yogurt.

The Doctor: I hate yogurt. It’s stuff with bits in it.
Amelia: You said it was your favorite.
The Doctor: New mouth, new rules!
It’s like eating after cleaning your teeth. Everything tastes—
Amelia: What is it? What’s wrong with you?
The Doctor: Wrong with me? It’s not my fault. Why can’t you give any decent food. You’re Scottish. Fry something.

The Doctor: Beans are evil. Bad bad beans.

Amelia: Got some carrots.
The Doctor: Carrots. Are you insane? Hang on, I know what I need. Fish fingers. And custard.

The Doctor: So your aunt. Where’s she?
Amelia: She’s out.
The Doctor: And she left you all alone?
Amelia: I’m not scared.
The Doctor: ‘Course you’re not!
You’re not afraid of anything. Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of the box, man eats fish custard. And look you, just sitting there. So you know what I think.
Amelia: What?
The Doctor: Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.

The Doctor: You’ve had some cowboys in here. Not actual cowboys. Though that can happen.

The Doctor: Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey. Do you know what the crack is?
Amelia: What?
The Doctor: It’s a crack. And I’ll tell you something funny. If you knock this wall down the crack would stay put ’cause the crack isn’t in the wall.
Amelia: Where is it then?
The Doctor: Everywhere. And everything. It’s a split in the skin of the world. Two parts of space and time that should never have touched.

The Doctor: You know when grown-ups tell you everything’s gonna be fine and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better.
Amelia: Yes.
The Doctor: Everything’s going to be fine.

The Doctor: “Prisoner Zero has escaped”. But why tell us? Unless…
Amelia: Unless what?
The Doctor: Unless Prisoner Zero escaped through here.

The Doctor: Give me five minutes. I’ll be right back.
Amelia: People always say that.
The Doctor: Am I people? Do I even look like people. Trust me. I’m a doctor.

Amy: Oy! You. Sit still.
The Doctor: Cricket bat. [?]. Cricket bat.
Amy: You were breaking and entering.
The Doctor trying to get up: Well that’s much better. Brand new me. Whack on the head— just what I needed.
Amy: Do you want to shut up now. I’ve got back-up on the way.
The Doctor: Hang on, no wait—you’re a policewoman.
Amy: And you’re breaking and entering. You see how this works?
The Doctor: But what are you doing here? Where’s Amelia?
Amy: Amelia Pond?
The Doctor: Yeah. Amelia. Little Scottish girl. Where is she? I promised her five minutes, but the engines were phasing. I suppose I must have gone a bit far. Has something happened to her?
Amy: Amelia Pond hasn’t lived here in a long time.
The Doctor: How long?
Amy: Six months.
The Doctor: No! No! No no no. I can’t be six months late. I said five minutes. I promised. What happened to her? What happened to Amelia Pond?

The Doctor: How many rooms?
Amy: What?
The Doctor: On this floor. How many rooms on this floor? Count them for me now.
Amy: Why?
The Doctor: Because it will change your life.
Amy: Five. One two three four five.
The Doctor: Six.
Amy: Six?
The Doctor: Look.
Amy: Look where?
The Doctor: Exactly where you don’t want to look. Where you never want to look. The corner of your eye. Look behind you.

The Doctor: Why does no one ever listen to me? Do I just have a face that nobody listens to… again?

The Doctor: Oh, what has the bad alien done to you?
Amy: Will that door hold it?
The Doctor: Oh yeah! Yeah, ‘course. It’s an inter-dimensional, multiform from outer space. They’re all terrified of wood.

The Doctor: Run! Just go. Your backup’s coming. I’ll be fine.
Amy: There is no back up.
The Doctor: I heard you on the radio. You called for back up.
Amy: I was pretending. It’s a pretend radio.
The Doctor: But you’re a policewoman.
Amy: I’m a kiss-o-gram!

The Doctor: Her and me, we’re safe. Wanna know why? ‘Cause she sent for back up.
Amy: I didn’t send for back up!
The Doctor: I know. That was a clever lie to save our lives. Okay! Yeah, no back up! And that’s why we’re safe. Alone we’re not a threat to you. If we had back up, then you’d have to kill us.
Atraxi overhead: Attention Prisoner Zero: The human residence is surrounded. Attention Prisoner Zero—
Amy: What’s that?
The Doctor: Well that would be back up. Okay, one more time. We do have back up. And that’s definitely why we’re safe…. Well safe apart from, you know, incineration.

The Doctor: You’re Amelia!
Amy: You’re late.
The Doctor: Amelia Pond. You’re the little girl.
Amy: I’m Amelia. And you’re late.
The Doctor: What happened?
Amy: Twelve years.
The Doctor: You hit me with a cricket bat.
Amy: Twelve years.
The Doctor: A cricket bat.
Amy: Twelve years and four psychiatrists!

The Doctor: Who’s Amy? You were Amelia.
Amy: Yeah? And now I’m Amy.
The Doctor: Amelia Pond. That was a great name.
Amy: Bit fairy tale.

The Doctor: You were a little girl five minutes ago!
Amy: You’re worse than my aunt.
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor. I’m worse than everybody’s aunt. And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

The Doctor: Oh and here they come. The human race. See. The end comes as it was always going to: down a video phone.

This is a secure phone! What are you doing here?
The Doctor: Yeah, I know. You should switch me off. But before you do, watch this. Fermat’s Theorem. The proof. And I mean the real one. Never been seen before. Poor Fermat got killed in a duel before he could write it down. My fault. I slept in. Oh! And here’s an oldie but a goodie: why electrons have mass. And a personal favorite of mine. Faster than light travel with two diagrams and a joke.

Sir, what are you doing?
The Doctor: I am writing a computer virus. Very clever, super fast, and a tiny bit alive. But don’t let on!

The Doctor: You came to this world by opening a crack in space and time. Do it again. Just leave.
Prisoner Zero: I did not open the crack.
The Doctor: Somebody did.
Prisoner Zero: The cracks in the skin of the Universe. Don’t you know where they came from? You don’t, do you? The Doctor in the TARDIS doesn’t know. Doesn’t know doesn’t know! The Universe is cracked. The Pandorica will open, silence will fall.

The Doctor: And we’re off! Look at that. Look at that! Yeah, I know. Just a clock. Whatever.

The Doctor: And the final score is no TARDIS, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare. Who da man?! Silence. I’m never saying that again. Fine.

The Doctor: Well that’s rubbish. Who’s that supposed to be?
Rory: It’s you.
The Doctor: Is that what I look like?
Rory: You don’t know?
The Doctor: Busy day.

Amy: What are you doing?
The Doctor: Tracking the signal back—sorry, in advance.
Rory Williams: About what?
The Doctor: The bill. Oy! I didn’t say you could go. Article 57 of the Shadow Proclamation. This is a fully-established level five planet. And you were going to burn it. What? Did you think no one was watching. You lot. Back here. Now. Okay. Now I’ve done it.
Rory Williams: Did he just bring them back? Did he just save the world from aliens and then bring all the aliens back again?

Atraxi: You are not of this world.
The Doctor: No, but I’ve put a lot of work into it.

The Doctor to the Atraxi: Hello. I’m the Doctor. Basically: run.

The Doctor to the TARDIS: Okay. What have you got for me this time? Look at you. Oh you sexy thing. Look at you!

Amy: It’s you. You came back.
The Doctor: ‘Course I came back. I always come back. Something wrong with that?
Amy: You kept the clothes.
The Doctor: Well I just saved the world. The whole planet for about the millionth time. No charge. Yeah, shoot me. I kept the clothes.
Amy: Including the bowtie.
The Doctor: Yeah, it’s cool. Bowties are cool.
Amy: Are you from another planet?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Amy: ‘Kay.
The Doctor: So what do you think?
Amy: What?
The Doctor: Other planets. Wanna check some out?
Amy: What does that mean?
The Doctor: It means, well. It means, come with me.
Amy: Where?
The Doctor: Wherever you want.
Amy: All that stuff that happened—the hospital, the spaceships, Prisoner Zero—
The Doctor: Oh, don’t worry. That’s just the beginning. There’s loads more.
Amy: Yeah but those things. Those amazing things—all that stuff… That was two years ago!
The Doctor: Ooo! … Oops. So that’s—
Amy: Fourteen years!
The Doctor: Fourteen years since fish custard. Amy Pond, the Girl Who Waited. You’ve waited long enough.
Amy: When I was a kid you said there was a library. And a swimming pool. And the swimming pool was in the library.
The Doctor: Yeah. Not sure where it’s got to now. It’ll turn up. So: coming?
Amy: No.
The Doctor: You wanted to come fourteen years ago.
Amy: I grew up.
The Doctor: Don’t worry. I’ll soon fix that. snaps his fingers and opens the TARDIS door.

The Doctor: So. All of time and space. Everything that ever happened or ever will. Where do you want to start?
Amy: You are so sure that I am coming.
The Doctor: Yeah. I am.
Amy: Why?
The Doctor: ‘Cause you’re the Scottish girl in an English village. And I know how that feels.
Amy: Oh do you?
The Doctor: All these years, living here most of your life and you’ve still got that accent. Yeah, you’re coming.
Amy: Can you get me back for tomorrow morning?
The Doctor: It’s a time machine. I can get you back for five minutes ago. Why, what’s tomorrow?
Amy: Nothing. Nothing. Just, you know, stuff.
The Doctor: Alright then. Back in time for stuff.

The Doctor: Oh! A new one. to the TARDIS Thanks dear.

Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there’s something you better understand about me ’cause it’s important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.

The Beast Below

Amy: I’m in the future. Like hundreds of years in the future. I’ve been dead for centuries.
The Doctor: Oh… lovely. You’re a cheery one. Never mind dead! Look at this place. Isn’t it wrong?

The Doctor: Sorry. Checking the water in this area. There’s an escaped fish.

Amy: One little girl crying. So?
The Doctor: Crying silently. I mean children cry because they want attention. ‘Cause they’re hurt or afraid. When they cry silently it’s ’cause they just can’t stop.

Amy: Where’d she go?
The Doctor: Deck 27. Apple Sesame Block. Building 54a. You’re looking for Mandy Tanner. Oo! Ah, this fell out of her pocket when I accidentally bumped into her. Took me four gos.
Ask her about those things. The smiling fellas in the booths. They’re everywhere.

The Doctor: Meet me back here in half an hour.
Amy: What are you going to do?
The Doctor: What I always do. Stay out of trouble. Badly.

Liz Ten: The impossible truth. In a glass of water. Not many people see it. But you do. Don’t you, Doctor.
The Doctor: You know me.
Liz Ten: Keep your voice down. They’re everywhere. Tell me what you see in the glass.
The Doctor: Who says I see anything?
Liz Ten: Don’t waste time. At the marketplace. You
placed a glass of water on the floor, looked at it, then came straight here to the engine room. Why?
The Doctor: No engine vibration on deck. Ship this size, engine this big, you’d feel it. The water would move. So. I thought I’d take a look.

The Doctor: And once every five years everyone chooses to forget what they’ve learned. Democracy in action.

Mandy: How do you not know about this? Are you Scottish too?
The Doctor: Oh, I’m way worse than the Scottish. I can’t even see the movie. Won’t play for me.
Amy: Played for me.
The Doctor: Well the difference being the computer doesn’t accept me as human.
Amy: Why not? You look human.
The Doctor: No. You look Time Lord. We came first.
Amy: So there are other Time Lords, yeah?
The Doctor: No. There were but they’re all— just me now. Long story. It was a bad day. Bad stuff happened. And you what I’d love to forget it all, every last bit of it. But I don’t. Not ever. ‘Cause this is what I do. Every time. Every day. Every second. This. Hold tight. We’re bringing down the government.

The Doctor: High speed air cannon. Lousy way to travel.
Amy: Where are we?
The Doctor: Six hundred feet down. Twenty miles, naturally puts us at about the heart of the ship. I’d say *sniffs* Lancashire.

The Doctor: It’s not a floor, it’s a— So.
Amy: It’s a what?
The Doctor: The next word is kind of a scary word. You might want to take a moment, get yourself in a calm place. Go “ommmmmm”. It’s a tongue.

The Doctor: If this is just a mouth I’d love to see the stomach! Though not right now.

The Doctor: Right then. This isn’t going to be big on dignity.

Amy: Doctor?
The Doctor: Oh Amy. We should never have come here.

Amy: And you always wear this in public?
Liz Ten: Undercover’s not easy when you’re me. The autographs. The bunting.
The Doctor: Yeah, but it’s porcelain. Stays on by itself because it’s perfectly sculpted to your face.
Liz Ten: Yeah? So what.
The Doctor: Oh Liz. So everything.

The Doctor: Liz. Your mask.
Liz Ten: What about my mask?
The Doctor: Look at it. It’s old. At least about two hundred years old, I’d say.
Liz Ten: Yeah. It’s an antique. So.
The Doctor: Yeah. An antique. Made my craftsmen over two hundred years ago and perfectly sculpted to your face. The slowed your body clock alright. But you’re not fifty. You’re 300.

Amy: I voted for this. Why would I do that?
The Doctor: ‘Cause you knew if we stayed here I’d be faced with an impossible choice. Humanity or the alien. You took it upon yourself to save me from that. And that was wrong, You don’t ever decide what I need to know.
Amy: I don’t even remember doing it.
The Doctor: You did it. That’s what counts.
Amy: I’m… I’m sorry.
The Doctor: Oh I don’t care. When I’m done here you’re going home.
Amy: Why? Because I made a mistake? One mistake. I don’t even remember doing it! Doctor!
The Doctor: Yeah. I know. You’re only human.
Liz Ten: What are you doing?
The Doctor: The worst thing I ever do. I’m going to pass a massive electrical charge through the Star Whale’s brain. It should knock over his high functions. Leave it a vegetable.
The ship will still fly but the whale won’t feed it.
That will be like killing it.

The Doctor: Look. Three options. One, I let the Star Whale continue in unendurable agony for hundreds more years. Two, I kill everyone on this ship. Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can. And then I find a new name ’cause I won’t be The Doctor anymore.
Amy: There must be something we can do. Some other way.
The Doctor: Nobody talk to me. Nobody human has anything to say to me today!

The Doctor: Amy, you could have killed everyone on this ship.
Amy: And you could have killed a Star Whale.

Amy: Shouldn’t we say goodbye? Won’t they wonder where we went?
The Doctor: For the rest of their lives. Oh the songs they’ll write. Never mind them. Big day tomorrow.
Amy: Sorry, what?
The Doctor: Well it’s always a big day tomorrow. We’ve got a time machine. I skip the little ones.
Amy: You know what I said about getting back tomorrow morning? Have you ever run away from something because you were scared. Or not ready. Or just… just because you could.
The Doctor: Once. A long time ago.
Amy: What happened?
The Doctor: Hello.

Victory of the Daleks

Churchill: So you’ve changed your face again.
The Doctor: Yeah. Had a bit of work done.

Amy: What was that?
The Doctor: That wasn’t human. That was never human technology. That sounded like—
Shouldn’t be. Show me! Show me what that was!
Professor Edwin Bracewell: Advance.
Churchill: Our new secret weapon! What do you think? Quite something, eh?

The Doctor: What are you doing here?
Dalek: I am your soldier.
The Doctor: What?
Dalek: I am your soldier.

The Doctor: He didn’t invent them. They’re alien.
Churchill: Alien?
The Doctor: Totally hostile.
Churchill: Precisely. They will win me the war.

The Doctor: Amy tell him.
Amy: Tell him what?
The Doctor: About the Daleks.
Amy: What do I know about the Daleks?
The Doctor: Everything. They invaded your world, remember? Planets in the sky. You don’t forget that. Amy. Tell me you remember the Daleks.
Amy: Nope. Sorry.
The Doctor: That’s not possible.

The Doctor: Listen to me. Just listen. The Daleks have no conscience. No mercy. No pity. They are my oldest and deadliest enemy. You can not trust them.
Churchill: If Hitler invaded hell I would give a favorable reference to the Devil.

The Doctor: You are everything I despise. The worst sin in all creation. I’ve defeated you time and time again. I’ve defeated. I’ve sent you back into the Void. I’ve saved the whole reality from you. I am the Doctor and you are the Daleks!
Dalek: Correct! Review testimony.
The Doctor: What are you talking about, testimony?
Dalek: Transmit testimony now.
The Doctor: Transmit what where?

Amy: What just happened Doctor?
The Doctor: I wanted to know what they wanted. What was their plan. I was their plan.

Amy: So what do you we do? Is this what we do now, chase after them?
The Doctor: This is what I do, yeah. And it’s dangerous so you wait here.
Amy: What, so you mean I’ve gotta stay down here in the middle of the London Blitz?
The Doctor: Safe as it gets around me.

The Doctor: What are you doing?
Dalek: Withdraw now or the city dies in flames!
The Doctor: Who are you kidding? This ship is a wreck. You don’t have the power to destroy London.
Dalek: Watch as the humans destroy themselves.

The Doctor: Either you turn off your clever machine or I’ll blow you and your new paradigm into eternity.
Dalek: And yourself?
The Doctor: Occupational hazard!
Dalek: Scan reveals nothing. TARDIS self-destruct device non-existent.
The Doctor: Alright, it’s a Jammie Dodger. But I was promised tea!

Dalek: Bracewell is a bomb.
The Doctor: You’re bluffing. Deception’s second nature to you. There isn’t a sincere bone in your body. There isn’t a bone in your body.

The Doctor: I had a choice and they knew I’d choose the earth. The Daleks have won. They beat me. They’ve won.
Amy: But you saved the Earth. That’s not too shabby.
The Doctor: Not too shabby, no.

Amy: You’re worried about the Daleks.
The Doctor: I’m always worried about the Daleks.

The Time of Angels

The Doctor looking through the display cases: Wrong. Wrong. Bit right, mostly wrong. I love museums!
Amy: Yeah, great. Can we go to a planet now? Big spaceship, Churchill’s bunker. Let’s hit a planet next.
The Doctor: Amy this isn’t any old asteroid. It’s the Delirium Archive. The final resting place of the Headless Monks. The biggest museum ever.
Amy: You’ve got a time machine. What do you need museums for?
The Doctor: Wrong! Very wrong. Oo! One of mine. Also one of mine.
Amy: Oh I see. It’s how you keep score.

The Doctor: There were days—there were many days—these words could burn stars… and raise up empires… and topple gods.
Amy: What does this say?
The Doctor: “Hello Sweetie.”

Amy: Why are we doing this?
The Doctor: ‘Cause someone on a spaceship twelve thousand years ago is trying to attract my attention.

River: They’ve gone into warp drive. We’re losing them. Stay close.
The Doctor: I’m trying!
River: Use the stabilizers.
The Doctor: It doesn’t have stabilizers!
River: The blue switches.
The Doctor: Well the blue switches don’t do anything. They’re just blue.
River: Yes, they’re blue. They’re the blue stabilizers! The TARDIS stabilizes. See?
The Doctor: Yeah. Well, just boring now, isn’t it? They’re borings. They’re blue borings.
Amy: Doctor, how come she can fly the TARDIS?
The Doctor: You call that flying the TARDIS? Ha!

River: Okay. I’ve mapped the probability vectors, done a full background temporal isometry, charted the ship to its destination and… parked us right alongside.
The Doctor: “Parked us.” We haven’t landed.
River: Of course we’ve landed. I just landed her.
The Doctor: But… it didn’t make the noise.
River: What noise?
The Doctor: You know the {imitates the TARDIS… sort of}
River: It’s not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.
The Doctor: Yeah. Well it’s a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

The Doctor: Come along, Pond. Let’s have a look.
River: No, wait! Environment checks.
The Doctor: Oh yes. Sorry. Quite right. Environment checks. {opens the door}. Nice out.

The Doctor: …oxygen-rich atmosphere, all toxins in the soft band, eleven hour day and… {sniffs the air} chances of rain later.
River: He thinks he’s so hot when he does that.

Amy: Explain. Who is that and how did she do that museum thing?
The Doctor: It’s a long story and I don’t know most of it.

Amy: Are you basically running away?
The Doctor: Yep.
Amy: Why?
The Doctor: ‘Cause she’s the future. My future.
Amy: And you run away from that?
The Doctor: I can run away from anything I like. Time is not the boss of me.

The Doctor: I’m nobody’s taxi service! I’m not going to be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.
River: And you are so wrong.

River: Where are we up to? Have we done the Bone Meadows?
Amy: What’s the book?
The Doctor: Stay away from it.
Amy: What is it though?
The Doctor: Her diary.
River: Our diary.
The Doctor: Her past. My… future. Time travel. We keep meeting in the wrong order.

The Doctor: Catacombs. Probably dark ones. Dark catacombs. Great.
Octavian: Technically, I think it’s called a “Maze of the Dead”.
The Doctor: You can stop anytime you like.

The Doctor: You’re still here. Which part of “wait in the TARDIS until I tell you it’s safe” was so confusing?
Amy: Are you all Mr. Grumpy Face today?
The Doctor: A Weeping Angel, Amy, is the deadliest, most powerful, most malevolent lifeform evolution has ever produced and right now one of them is trapped inside that wreckage, and I’m supposed to climb in after it with a screwdriver and a torch and—assuming I survive the radiation long enough and assuming the whole ship doesn’t explode in my face—do something incredibly clever which I haven’t actually thought up yet. That’s my day. That’s what I’m up to. Any questions?
Amy: Is River Song your wife? ‘Cause she’s someone from your future. And the way she talks to you, I’ve never seen anyone do that. She’s kind of like, you know, “Heel boy.” She’s Mrs. Doctor from the future, isn’t she? Is she going to be your wife one day?
The Doctor: Yes. {pause.} You’re right. I am definitely Mr. Grumpy Face today.

The Doctor: Where did it come from?
River: Pulled from the ruins at Razzmahan into last century. It’s been in private hands ever since. Dormant all that time.

The Doctor: There’s a difference between dormant and patient.

The Doctor: You lot, you’re everywhere. You’re like rabbits! {pleased} I’ll never get done saving you.

Octavian: A stone angel on the loose amongst stone statues. Lot harder than I prayed for.

River: A needle in a haystack.
The Doctor: A needle that looks like hay. A hay-like needle of death. A hay-like needle of death in a haystack of… statues. No, yours is fine.

River: Yes we are.
The Doctor: Sorry, what?
River: Talking about you.
The Doctor: I wasn’t listening. I’m busy.
River: Ah. The other way up. {The Doctor looks at the device and then turns it the right way up}
The Doctor: Yeah.

River: Incredible builders, the Aplans.
The Doctor: Had dinner with their chief architect once. Two heads are better than one.
Amy: What, you mean you helped him?
The Doctor: No, I mean he had two heads.

The Doctor: Lovely species, the Aplans. We should visit them sometime.
Amy: I thought they were all dead.
The Doctor: So is Virginia Woolf. I’m on her bowling team.

The Doctor: ‘Course then they started having laws against self-marrying. I mean, what was that about? But that’s the church for you. Ah, no offense. Bishop.
Octavian: Quite a lot taken if that’s all right, Doctor.

The Doctor realizing: Oh.
Amy: What’s wrong?
The Doctor: Exactly.
River: How could we not notice that?
The Doctor: Low level perception filter or maybe we’re thick.
What’s wrong, sir?
The Doctor: Nobody move! Nobody move. Everyone stay exactly where they are. Bishop, I am truly sorry I’ve made a mistake and we are all in terrible danger.
Octavian: What danger?
River: The Aplans.
Octavian: The Aplans?
River: They’ve got two heads.
Octavian: Yes, I get that. So?
The Doctor: So why don’t the statues.

The Doctor: Every statue in this maze—every single one—is a Weeping Angel. And they’re coming after us.

Bob: I’m on my way up to you, sir. I’m homing in on your signal.
The Doctor: Well done, Bob. Scared keeps you fast. Told you didn’t I. Your friends, Bob. What did the Angels do to them?
Bob: Snapped their necks, sir.
The Doctor: See that’s odd. That’s not how the Angels kill you. They displace you in time unless they needed bodies for something.

The Doctor: Bob, keep running. But tell me, how did you escape?
Bob: I didn’t escape, sir. The Angel killed me too.
The Doctor: What do you mean, the Angel killed you too?
Bob: Snapped my neck sir. Wasn’t as painless as I expected but it was pretty quick, so that was something.
The Doctor: If you’re dead how can I be talking to you?
Bob: You’re not talking to me sir. The Angel has no voice. They stripped my cerebral cortex from my body and reanimated a version of my consciousness to communicate with you. Sorry about the confusion.
The Doctor: So when you say “you’re”
on your way up to us…
Bob: It’s the Angel that’s coming sir, yes.

The Doctor: Angel Bob. Which Angel am I talking to? The one from the ship?
Angel Bob: Yes sir.
And the other Angels are still restoring.
The Doctor: Ah! So the Angel is not in the wreckage. Thank you!

Angel Bob: The Doctor. Can I speak to the Doctor please?
The Doctor: Hello, Angels. What’s your problem?

The Doctor: Okay. The Angels have made their second mistake because I’m not going to let that pass. I’m sorry you’re dead, Bob, but I swear to whatever is left of you they will be sorrier.
Angel Bob: But you’re trapped sir. And about to die.
The Doctor: Yeah. Trapped. And you know what? Speaking of traps, this trap’s got a great big mistake in it. A great big whopping mistake!
Angel Bob: What mistake sir?

The Doctor: Trust me?
Amy: Yeah.
The Doctor: Trust me?
River: Always.

The Doctor: I’m about to do something incredibly stupid and dangerous. When I do, jump.

Angel Bob: Sorry, can I ask again? You mentioned a mistake we’ve made.
The Doctor: Oh big big mistake. Really huge. Didn’t anyone ever tell you? There’s one thing you never put in a trap—if you’re smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow—there’s one thing you never ever put in a trap.
Angel Bob: And what would that be, sir?
The Doctor: Me.

Flesh and Stone

Amy: Doctor, what am I looking at? Explain.
The Doctor: Oh c’mon, Amy. Think! The ship crashed with the power still on, yeah? So what else is still on? The artificial gravity. One good jump and up we fell. Shot out the grav globe to give us an updraft and here we are!

Octavian: This whole place is a death trap!
The Doctor: No, it’s a time bomb. Well it’s a death trap and a time bomb. And now it’s a dead end. Nobody panic. Oh. Just me then.

Amy: Okay, so we’ve basically run up the inside of a chimney, yeah? So what if the gravity fails?
The Doctor: I’ve thought about that.
Amy: And?
The Doctor: And we’ll all plunge to our deaths. See? I’ve thought about it.

The Doctor: The security protocols are still online and there’s no way to override them. It’s impossible.
River: How impossible?
The Doctor: Two minutes.

The Doctor: I’ll need to route the power in this section through the door control.
Octavian: Good. Fine. Do it.
The Doctor: Including the lights. All of them. I’ll need to turn out the lights.
Octavian: How

The Doctor: Fraction of a second. Maybe longer. Maybe quite a bit longer.
Octavian: Maybe?
The Doctor: Well I’m guessing. We’re being attacked by statues in a crashed ship. There isn’t a manual for this!

Angel Bob: The Angels are feasting sir. Soon we’ll be able to absorb enough power to consume this vessel, this world and all the stars and worlds beyond.
The Doctor: Well, we’ve got comfy chairs, did I mention?
Angel Bob: We have no need of comfy chairs.
The Doctor to Amy: I made him say “comfy chairs”.

The Doctor: So what are you? {checks the crack} Oh, that’s bad. That’s extremely very not good.

The Doctor to himself: Do. Not. Blink.

The Doctor: Why am I not dead then? {the Angels are focused on the crack} Good and not so good. Oh this is new and a little bit good. I mean, is that it? Is that the power that brought you here? That’s pure time energy, you can’t feed on that. That’s not power, that’s the fire at the end of the Universe. And I’ll tell you something else—cut to him running off—never let me talk.

River: How did you get past them?
The Doctor: Found a crack in the wall, told them it was the end of the Universe.
Amy: What was it?
The Doctor: The end of the Universe.

The Doctor: Amy, listen to me. If you open your eyes now for more than a second you will die. The Angel is still inside you. We haven’t stopped it, we’ve just sort of… paused it. You’ve used up your countdown. You can not open your eyes.

Octavian: Doctor, we’re too exposed here. We have to move on.
The Doctor: We’re too exposed everywhere. And Amy can’t move and anyway that’s not the plan.
River: There’s a plan?
The Doctor: I don’t know yet. I haven’t finished talking.

The Doctor: Amy. You need to start trusting me. It’s never been more important.
Amy: But you don’t always tell me the truth.
The Doctor: If I always told you the truth I wouldn’t need you to trust me.
Amy: Doctor, the crack in my wall. How can it be here?
The Doctor: I don’t know yet but I’m working it out.

The Doctor: Now. Listen. Remember what I told you when you were seven.
Amy: What did you tell me?
The Doctor: No. See that’s the whole point. You have to remember. {he kisses her forehead}

The Doctor: Cracks, cracks in time. Time running out. No, couldn’t be. But how is a duck pond a duck pond if there aren’t any ducks. And she didn’t recognize the Daleks. Okay, time can shift. Time can be rewritten. But how? Oh.

The Doctor: Time can be unwritten.

Octavian: River Song. You think you know her, but you don’t. You don’t understand who or what she is.
The Doctor: Then tell me.
Octavian: I’ve told you more than I should. Now please. You have to go. It’s your duty to your friends.
The Doctor: Just tell me why she was in Stormcage.
Octavian: She killed a man. A good man. A hero to many.
The Doctor: Who?
Octavian: You don’t want to know, sir, you really don’t.

Octavian: Sir, the Angels are coming. You have to leave me!
The Doctor: You’ll die.
Octavian: I will die in the knowledge that my courage did not desert me at the end. For that I thank God. And bless the path that takes you to safety.
The Doctor: I wish I’d known you better.
Octavian: I think, sir, you know me at my best.
The Doctor: Ready?
Octavian: Content.

River: That time energy, what’s it going to do?
The Doctor: Ah, keep eating.
River: How do we stop it?
The Doctor: Feed it.
River: Feed it what?
The Doctor: A big complicated space-time event should shut it up for awhile.
River: Like what, for instance?
The Doctor: Like me! For instance!

River: I’ve traveled in time. I’m a complicated space-time event too. Throw me in.
The Doctor: Oh be serious, compared to me these Angels are more complicated than you and it’d take every single one of them to amount to me, so get a grip.
River: Doctor, I can’t let you do this.
The Doctor: No, seriously. Get a grip.
River: You’re not going to die here!
The Doctor: No, I mean it. River, Amy, get a grip.
River: Oh you genius.

Bob: Sir, the Angels need you to sacrifice yourself now.
The Doctor: Thing is, Bob. The Angels are draining all the power from this ship, every last bit of it. And you know what? I think they’ve forgotten where they’re standing. I think they’ve forgotten the gravity of the situation. Or to put it another way, Angels—
River to Amy: You hold on tight and don’t you let go for anything.
The Doctor: —Night night.

Amy: And the crack, is that gone too?
The Doctor: Yeah. For now. But the explosion that caused it is… still happening. Somewhere out there. Somewhere in time.

River: You. Me. Handcuffs. Must it always end this way?
The Doctor: What now?
River: The prison ship’s in orbit. They’ll beam me up any second. I might have done enough to earn a pardon this time. We’ll see.
The Doctor: Octavian said you killed a man.
River: Yes, I did.
The Doctor: A good man.
River: A very good man. The best man I’ve ever known.

The Doctor: Who?
River: Hm. It’s a long story, Doctor. Can’t be told. Has to be lived.

River: You’ll see me again quite soon. When the Pandorica opens.
The Doctor: The Pandorica. Ha! That’s a fairy tale.
River laughing. Ah, Doctor. Aren’t we all? I’ll see you there.
The Doctor: I look forward to it.
River: I remember it well.

The Doctor: Can I trust you, River Song?
River: If you like. But where’s the fun in that?

The Doctor: But you’re human. You’re Amy. You’re getting married in the morning. In the morning…
Amy: Doctor?
The Doctor: It’s you. It’s all about you. Everything. It’s about you.
Amy: Hold that thought.
The Doctor: Amy Pond. Mad, impossible Amy Pond. I don’t know why — I have no idea—but quite possibly the single most important thing in the history of the universe is that I get you sorted out right now.

Vampires of Venice

The Doctor: Rory! That’s a relief. Thought I’d burst out of the wrong cake. Again. That reminds me, there’s a girl standing outside in a bikini. Could somebody let her in and give her a jumper? Lucy. Lovely girl. {whispering} Diabetic. Now then. Rory. We need to talk about your fiancée. She tried to kiss me. Tell you what though, you’re a lucky man. She’s a great kisser. {silence} Funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine.

The Doctor: The life out there, it dazzles. I mean, it blinds you to the things that are important. I’ve seen it devour relationships entirely. {the TARDIS sparks} It’s meant to do that. Because for one person to have seen all that, to have tasted the glory, and then go back. It will tear you apart. So! I’m sending you somewhere. Together.
Amy: What, like a date?
The Doctor: Anywhere you want. Any time you want. One condition: it has to be amazing. The Moulin Rouge in 1890. The first Olympic games. Think of it as a wedding present because frankly, it’s either this or tokens.

The Doctor: It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? Tiny box, huge room inside. “What’s that about?” Let me explain—
Rory: It’s another dimension.
The Doctor: It’s basically another dimension— What?
Rory: After what happened with Prisoner Zero I’ve been reading up all on the latest scientific theories. FTL travel, parallel universes.
The Doctor: I like the bit when someone says “It’s bigger on the inside.” I always look forward to that.

The Doctor: Ah, you’re going to love Venice. So many people did. Byron, Napoleon, Cassanova. That reminds me. 1580. That’s alright. Cassanova doesn’t get born for 145 years. Don’t want to run into him. I owe him a chicken.
Rory: You owe Cassanova a chicken?
The Doctor: Long story. We had a bet.

The Doctor checking the mirror: Hello Handsome.
The Girls: Who are you?
The Doctor: How are you doing that?! I am loving it! You’re like Houdini, only five slutty, scary girls. And he was shorter—will be shorter. I’m rambling.
The Girls: I’ll ask you again, Signor. Who are you?
The Doctor: Why don’t you check THIS out. Library card. Of course. It’s with {mimes Rory’s nose}. He’s… I need a spare. Pale creepy girls who don’t like sunlight and can’t be seen. Am I thinking what I think I’m thinking? But the city, why shut down the city? Unless—

The Girls: Leave now Signor, or we shall call for the steward. If you’re lucky.
The Doctor: Tell me the whole plan! {silence} One day that’ll work. Listen, I would love to stay here. This whole— I’m thrilled. Oh, this is Christmas!

Guido: There is another option. I work at the arsenale. We build the warships for the Navy.
The Doctor: Gun powder. Most people just nip stationery from where they work. Look, I have a thing about guns and huge quantities of explosives.

Rory: This whole thing is mental! They’re vampires, for Gods sake.
The Doctor: No.
Amy: So if they’re not vampires…
The Doctor: It makes you wonder what could be so bad it doesn’t actually mind us thinking it’s a vampire.

Rory: I can’t see a thing. Just as well. I brought this then. {whips out a keychain flashlight.}
The Doctor pulls out a light wand: Ultraviolet. Portable sunlight.
Rory: Yours is bigger than mine.
The Doctor: Let’s not go there.

The Doctor: Long way from Saturnyne, aren’t you? Sister of the Water.
Rosanna: No, let me guess. The owner of the psychic paper. Then I take it you’re a refugee like me.
The Doctor: I’ll make you a deal. An answer for an answer.
You’re using a perception filter. It doesn’t change your features but manipulates the brain waves of the person looking at you. Seeing one of you for the first time in, say, a mirror, the brain doesn’t know what to fill the gap with so leaves it blank. Hence no reflection.
Rosanna: Your question?
The Doctor: Why can we see your big teeth?

Rosanna: My turn. Where are you from?
The Doctor: Gallifrey.
Rosanna: You should be in a museum. Or in a mausoleum.
The Doctor: Why are you here?
Rosanna: We ran from the Silence. Why are you here?
The Doctor: Wedding present. The Silence?
Rosanna: There were cracks. Some were tiny. Some were as big as the sky. Through some we saw worlds, and people. And through others we saw silence. And the end of all things. We fled to a nation like ours. And the crack snapped shut behind us. Saturnyne was lost.

The Doctor: So Earth is to become Saturnyne mark two.
Rosanna: And you can help me. We can build a new society here as others have. What d’you say?
The Doctor: Hm.
Where’s Isabella.
Rosanna: Isabella?
The Doctor: The girl who saved my friend.
Rosanna: Oh, deserters must be executed. Any general will tell you that. I need an answer, Doctor. A partnership. Any which way you chose.
The Doctor: I don’t think that’s such a good idea, do you? I’m a Time Lord. You’re a big fish. Think of the children.

The Doctor: This ends today. I will tear down the House of Calvierri stone by stone. Take your hands off me, Carlo. And you know why? You didn’t know Isabella’s name. You didn’t know Isabella’s name.

The Doctor: The people upstairs are very noisy.
Guido: There aren’t any people upstairs.
The Doctor: See I knew you were going to say that. Did anyone else know he was going to say that?
Rory: Is it the vampires?
The Doctor: That was certainly
not vampires. Fish from space.

The Doctor: Blimey. Fish from space have never been so… buxom.

The Doctor: The girls are gone, Rosanna.
Rosanna: You’re lying.
The Doctor: Shouldn’t I be dead. Hm? Rosanna, please, help me. There are two hundred thousand people in this city.
Rosanna: So save them.

The Doctor: Rory, listen to that,
Rory: Uh, what? All I can hear is… silence.

Amy’s Choice

The Doctor: You’ve swallowed a planet.
Amy: I’m pregnant.
The Doctor: You’re huge.
Amy: Yeah, I’m pregnant.
The Doctor: Look at you! When world’s collide.
Amy: Doctor, I’m pregnant.
The Doctor: Oh, look at you both! Five years later and you haven’t changed a bit. Apart from age and… size.
Amy: Oh it’s good to see you Doctor.
The Doctor: Are you pregnant?

The Doctor: Well I wanted to see how you were. You know me, I don’t just abandon people when they leave the TARDIS. This Time Lord’s for life. You don’t get rid of your old pal the Doctor so easily.
Amy: You came here by mistake, didn’t you.
The Doctor: Yeah. Bit of a mistake. But look, what a result. Look at this. Bench. What a nice bench. What will they think of next. So… what do you do around here to stave off the, you know, self-harm?
Amy: Boredom?
Rory: We relax. We live. We listen to the birds.
Amy: Yeah, see! Birds.

The Doctor: Are you okay? Oh thank god! I had a terrible nightmare about you two. That was scary. Don’t ask. You don’t want to know. Safe now. That’s what counts. Blimey. Never dropped off like that before. Well. Never really. I’m getting on a bit you see. Don’t let the cool gear fool you. Now. What’s wrong with the console. Red flashing lights. I bet they mean something.
Rory: Uh. Doctor, I also had a kind of… dream thing.
Amy: Yeah, so did I.
Rory: Not a nightmare though. Just, um, we were married.
Amy: Yeah. In a little village.
Rory: Yeah, sweet little village. And you were pregnant.
Amy: Yes, I was huge. I was a boat.
Rory: So you had the same dream then? Exactly the same dream?
Amy: Are you calling me a boat?
Rory: And Doctor you were visiting.
Amy: Yeah! Yeah, you came to our cottage.
Rory: How can we have had exactly the same dream. It doesn’t make any sense.
Amy: And you had a nightmare about us. What happened to us in the nightmare?
The Doctor: It was a bit similar in some aspects.
Rory: Which aspects?
The Doctor: Well, all of them.
Amy: You had the same dream.
The Doctor: Basically.
Rory: You said it was a nightmare.
The Doctor: Did I say nightmare? No. More of a really good… mare.

Rory: Doctor, what is going on?
Amy: Is this because of you? Is this some Time Lord-y thing because you’ve shown up again?
The Doctor: Listen to me. Trust nothing. From now on trust nothing you see, hear or feel.
Rory: But we’re awake now.
The Doctor: Yeah, you thought you were awake in the TARDIS too.
Amy: But we’re home.
The Doctor: Yeah you’re home, you’re also dreaming. Trouble is, Rory, Amy, which is which? Are we flashing forwards or… backwards. Hold on tight. This is going to be a tricky one.

The Doctor: Oh this is bad! I don’t like this! {kicks the console}. Never use force! You just embarrass yourself. Unless you’re cross. In which case, always use force!
Amy: Shall I run and get the manual?
The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova.
Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why?
The Doctor: Because I disagreed with it! Stop talking to me when I’m cross.

The Doctor: Look around you. Examine everything. Look for all the details that don’t ring true.
Rory: Okay, well we’re in a spaceship that’s bigger on the inside than the outside.
Amy: With a bowtie-wearing idiot.
Rory: So maybe
“what rings true” isn’t so simple.
The Doctor: Valid point.

The Doctor: It’s dead. We’re in a dead time machine.

The Doctor: You’re a doctor?
Rory: Yeah. And unlike you I’ve actually passed some exams.
The Doctor: You’re a doctor, not a nurse, just like you’ve always dreamed. How interesting.

The Doctor: You said everyone here lives to their 90s. That’s the one thing that doesn’t make sense. Let’s go poke it with a stick.

The Doctor: Someone—something—is overriding my controls!
Dream Lord: Well that took a while. Honestly, I’d heard such good things. Last of the Time Lords. The Oncoming Storm. Him in the bowtie.
The Doctor: How did you get into my TARDIS? What are you?
Dream Lord: What should we call me? Well. If you’re the Time Lord let’s call me the Dream Lord.
The Doctor: Nice look.
Dream Lord: This? Yeah, I’m not convinced. Bowties?

The Doctor: Now. We all know there’s an elephant in the room.
Amy: I have to be this size, I’m having a baby.
The Doctor: No. No. The hormones seem real, but no. Is anyone going to mention Rory’s ponytail. You hold him down, I’ll cut it off?
Rory: This from a man in a bowtie.
The Doctor: Bowties are cool.

Rory: Okay. I don’t like him.
Amy: Who is he?
The Doctor: Don’t know. It’s a big universe.
Amy: Why is he doing this?
The Doctor: Maybe because he has no physical form. That gets you down after awhile. So he’s taking it out on folk like us who can touch, eat, feel.

Amy: So this one must be the dream. There’s no such thing as a cold star. Stars burn.
The Doctor: So this one is just burning cold!
Rory: Is that possible?
The Doctor: I can’t know everything! Why does everybody expect me to always…
Rory: Okay, so this is something you haven’t seen before. So does that mean this is the dream?
The Doctor: I don’t know! But there it is. And I’d say we’ve got about fourteen minutes until we crash into it. But that’s not the problem.
Rory: Because you know how to get us out of this?
The Doctor: Because we’ll have frozen to death by then.

Amy: Doctor, what are you doing? What are those piles of dust?
The Doctor: Playtime’s definitely over.

The Doctor: Drop it! Drop all that. I know who you are.
Dream Lord: Of course you don’t.
The Doctor: Of course I do. I’ve no idea how you can be here, but there’s only one person in the Universe that hates me as much as you do.

Amy: Okay, which world do you think is real?
The Doctor: This world.
Rory: No! The other one!
The Doctor: Yeah, but are we disagreeing or competing?
Amy: Competing? Over what?

Amy: This is the dream. Definitely this one. If we die here we wake up, yeah?
The Doctor: Unless we just die.
Amy: Either way, this is my only chance of seeing him again. This is the dream.
The Doctor: How do you know?
Amy: Because if this is real I don’t want it. I don’t want it.

The Doctor: You’re very sure? This could be the real world.
Amy: It can’t. Rory isn’t here. I didn’t know. I honestly didn’t until right now. I just want him.
The Doctor: Okay.

Amy: Why are you doing that?
The Doctor: Me? I’m going to blow up the TARDIS.
Amy: What?
The Doctor: Notice how helpful the Dream Lord was. Okay, there was misinformation, red herrings, malice—and I could have done without the limerick—but he was always very keen to make us choose between dream and reality.

Amy: What are you doing?!
Rory: Doctor, the Dream Lord conceded. This isn’t a dream!
The Doctor: Yes it is! Star burning cold. Do me a favor! The Dream Lord has no power over the real world. He was offering us a choice between two dreams.
Amy: How do you know that?
The Doctor: Because I know who he is.

Rory: So that was the Dream Lord then. Those little specks.
The Doctor: No. No. No! Sorry, wasn’t it obvious? The Dream Lord was me. Psychic pollen. It’s a mind parasite. It feeds on everything dark in you. Gives it a voice, turns it against you. I’m nine-hundred-and-seven. Had a lot to go on.
Amy: But why didn’t it feed on us, too?
The Doctor: The darkness in you pair, it would have starved to death in an instant. I choose my friends with great care. Otherwise I’m stuck here with my own company and you know how that works now.
Amy: But those things he said about you. You don’t think any of that’s true?