Episodes The Magician’s Apprentice What’s wrong? Kanzo (Benjamin Cawley): Was that a child? Kanzo as the ground moves: Stay still. Stay absolutely still. I'm just scanning the ground. I think we've got company. Do you know what hand mines are? {the boy nods} Well in that case you know you've got to stand absolutely still. Right?  {the boy nods} Where? {he indicates…

Deep Breath Inspector Gregson (Paul Hickey): Madame Vastra. Thank god. I'll wager you've never anything like this before. Madame Vastra (Neve McIntosh): Well. Not since I was a little girl. Madame Vastra: Is it choking? Jenny Flint: There seems to be something lodged in its throat. Inspector Gregson: Wha— how the hell could it time…

Asylum of the Daleks First there were the Daleks. And then there was a man who fought them. And then in time he died. There are a few, of course, who believe this man somehow survived and that one day he will return. For both our sakes, dearest Hannah, we must hope these stories are…

The Impossible Astronaut Guard: You better get down here, sir. She's doing it again. [...] Doctor Song, sir. She's packing. Says she's going to some planet called "America". River: Whatever that was, it killed him in the middle of his regeneration cycle. His body was already dead. He didn't make it to the next one.…

The Eleventh Hour Dr. Ramstead: So. They all called out at once. That's what you're saying. All of them. All the coma patients. You do understand that these people are all comatose, don't you? Rory Williams: Yes, Dr. Ramstead. Dr. Ramstead: Then why are you wasting my time? Rory: Because they called out for you.…

Planet of the Dead Christina (Michelle Ryan): So terribly sorry. That card-paying device thing. That's a lobster card, am I right? Bus Driver: Oyster card. Christina: Ah that's the problem you see. I only use my oyster when there's an "R" in the month. Bus Driver: It's April. Christina: Diamonds. Genuine. Drive. Bus Driver: Works…

Partners in Crime Penny: How do we know the fat isn't going straight into your bank account? Miss Foster: Oh Penny, if cynicism burnt up calories we'd all be thin as rakes. The Doctor: What's that for? Phone Bank Woman: My telephone number. Health and Safety. You be health, I'll be safety. The Doctor: Ah..…

Smith and Jones Mr. Stoker: Any ideas, Morgenstern? Morgenstern: Ah, dizziness could be a sign of early onset diabetes. Mr. Stoker: Hardly early onset, if you'll forgive me, Mrs. Finnegan. Mr. Stoker: Hippocrates himself expounded on the virtues of salt. Recommended the inhalation of steam from sea water. Though no doubt if he'd he been…

New Earth Rose: What are you doing? Cassandra (Zoë Wanamaker): The lady's moving on. It's goodbye trampoline and hello Blondie! Novice Hame: Legend says that the Face of Boe has watched the Universe grow old. There's all sorts of superstitions around him. One story says that just before his death the Face of Boe will…

The Christmas Invasion Mickey: Who is he? Where's the Doctor? Rose: That's him. Right in front of you. That's the Doctor. Jackie: What'dya mean that's The Doctor? Doctor who? Rose: Both working. Jackie: What do you mean both? Rose: He's got two hearts. Jackie: Oh don't be stupid. Anything else he's got two of? Rose:…

Rose Jackie: I know! It's on the telly, it's everywhere. She's lucky to be alive. Honestly, it's aged her. Skin like an old Bible. Walking in now you'd think I was her daughter! Jackie: I'm not joking about compensation. You've had genuine shock and trauma. Arianna got two thousand quid off the Council just 'cause…