Series 3

Smith and Jones

Mr. Stoker: Any ideas, Morgenstern?
Morgenstern: Ah, dizziness could be a sign of early onset diabetes.
Mr. Stoker: Hardly early onset, if you’ll forgive me, Mrs. Finnegan.

Mr. Stoker: Hippocrates himself expounded on the virtues of salt. Recommended the inhalation of steam from sea water. Though no doubt if he’d he been afflicted with my students results his oaths might have been rather more colorful.

Mr. Stoker: There’s a thunderstorm moving in and lightning is a form of static electricity. As was best proven by… anyone?
The Doctor piping up: Benjamin Franklin.
Mr. Stoker: Correct.
The Doctor: My mate Ben. That was a day and a half. I got rope burns off of that kite. And then I got soaked. —
Mr. Stoker: Quite.
The Doctor: And then I got electrocuted.

Martha: Why’s everyone fussing about rain?
Julia Swales: It’s going up.
Tish Jones: The rain is going up.

Julia Swales: Martha, it’s night. It was lunchtime.
Martha: It’s not night.
Julia Swales: It’s got to be. It’s dark.
Martha: We’re on the Moon.

Martha: It’s real. It’s really real. Hold on— {She goes to open the window}
Swales: Don’t! We’ll lose all the air.
Martha: But they’re not exactly airtight. If the air was gonna get sucked out it would have happened straight away, but it didn’t. So how come?
The Doctor: Very good point. Brilliant, in fact. What’s your name?
Martha: Martha.
The Doctor: And it was Jones, wasn’t it?

Ms. Finnegan: Mr. Stoker? I’m sorry, I didn’t know who else to ask. But can you help me?
Stokes: I think we’ve gone beyond aspirin.

Ms. Finnegan: You see, I was only salt-deficient because I’m sorry very good at absorbing it. But now I need fire in my veins. And who better than a consultant, with blood full of salty fats and vintage wines. And all those Michelin star sauces. {she smacks her lips.}
Stokes: Who are you?
Ms. Finnegan: Oh I’m a survivor, Mr. Stoker. At any cost. Look! I even brought a straw.

The Doctor: Well you’re welcome to come home, meet the wife. She’d be honored. We can have cake.
Ms. Finnegan: Why should I have cake? I’ve got my little straw!
The Doctor: That’s nice. Milkshake? I love banana!

Judoon: You will need this.
Martha: What’s that for?
Judoon: Compensation.

Judoon: Confirm. Plasmavore. Charged with the crime of murdering the Child Princess of Padrivole Regency Nine.
Finnegan: Well she deserved it!

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The Shakespeare Code

London 1599

Lilith: Soon, at the hour of woven words, we shall rise again. And this fleeting earth will perish!

The Doctor: Genius. He’s a genius. The genius. The most human human there’s ever been. Now we’re gonna hear him speak. Always he chooses the best words, New beautiful, brilliant words.
Shakespeare (Dean Lennox Kelly): Ah, shut your big fat mouths!
Martha: You should never meet your heroes.

Shakespeare: Sweet lady. Such unusual clothes. So fitted.
Martha: Um. Verily. Forsooth. Egads.
The Doctor: No. No. No. Don’t do that.

The Doctor: I’m Sir Doctor of Tardis and this is my companion Miss Martha Jones.
Shakespeare: Interesting, that bit of paper. It’s blank.
The Doctor: Oh, that’s very clever. That proves it. Absolute genius.
Martha: No, it says right there. Sir Doctor and Martha Jones. It says that.
Shakespeare: It’s blank.
The Doctor: Psychic paper. Um… long story. Oh, I hate to start from scratch.

Shakespeare: Poor Linley. So many strange events. Not least of all this land of Freedonia, where a woman can be a doctor.
Martha: Where a woman can do what she likes.
Shakespeare: And you, Sir Doctor. How can a man so young have eyes so old?
The Doctor: I do a lot of reading.
Shakespeare: A trite reply, yeah? That’s what I do. And you, you look at him like you’re surprised he exists. He’s as much of a puzzle to you as he is to me.

Shakespeare: I must a’work. I have a play to complete. I’ll get my answers tomorrow, Doctor. And I’ll discover more about you and why this constant performance of yours.
The Doctor: All the world’s a stage.
Shakespeare: Hm. I might use that. Goodnight, Doctor.
The Doctor: Nighty night, Shakespeare.

Shakespeare: Oh, sweet Dolly Bailey. She sat out three bouts of the plague in this place. We all ran like rats. But what could have scared her so? She had such enormous spirit.
The Doctor: Rage rage against the dying of the light.
Shakespeare: I might use that.
The Doctor: You can’t. It’s someone else’s.

The Doctor: Fourteen. Why does that ring a bell? Fourteen…
Martha: There’s fourteen lines in a sonnet.
The Doctor: So there is. Good point. Words and shapes following the same design. Fourteen lines, fourteen sides, fourteen facets… Oh my head! Tetradecagon. Think think think. Words, letters, numbers, lines!
Shakespeare: This is just the theatre!
The Doctor: Oh yeah, but the theatre’s magic, isn’t it? You should know. Stand on this stage, say the right words with the right emphasis at the right time. Oh, you can make men weep.

Shakespeare: You never know, the Queen might turn up. As if. She never does.

Martha: Woah, nelly! I know for a fact you’ve got a wife in country.
Shakespeare: But Martha, this is town.
The Doctor: Come on! We can have a good flirt later.
Shakespeare: Is that a promise, Doctor?
The Doctor: Oh. Fifty-seven academics just punched the air.

Actor: Love’s Labours Won. I don’t think much of sequels. They’re never as good as the original.

Shakespeare: Made me question everything. The futility of this fleeting existence. “To be or not to be.” Oo. That’s quite good.
The Doctor: You should write that down.
Shakespeare: Maybe not. Bit pretentious?
The Doctor: Eh.

Martha: Let us out! Let us out!
The Doctor: That’s not going to work. The whole building’s shouting that.
Doomfinger: Who would die first? Hm?
The Doctor: Well, if you’re looking for volunteers.
Martha: No, don’t!
Shakespeare: Doctor, can you stop her?
Doomfinger: No mortal has power over me.
The Doctor: No, but there’s a power in words. If I can find the right one, if I can just know you.
Doomfinger: None on Earth has knowledge of us.
The Doctor: Then it’s a good thing I’m here.

Martha: What did you do?
The Doctor: I named her. The power of a name. That’s old magick.
Martha: But there’s no such thing as magic.
The Doctor: Well, it’s just a different sort of science. You lot, you chose mathematics. Given the right string numbers, the right equation, you can split the atom. Carrionites use words instead.
Shakespeare: Use them for what?
The Doctor: The end of the world.

Martha: Hold on though, what were you doing last night when the Carrionite was in the room?
Shakespeare: Finishing the play.
The Doctor: What happens on the last page?
Shakespeare: The boys get the girls, they have a bit of a dance. It’s all as funny and thought-provoking as usual. Except those last few lines. Funny thing is, I don’t actually remember writing them.
The Doctor: That’s it! They used you. They gave you the final words, like a spell, like a code. Love’s Labours Won. It’s a weapon! The right combination of words spoken in the right place with the shape of the Globe is an energy converter! The play’s the thing! And yes, you can have that.

Shakespeare: All these years I’ve been the cleverest man around. Next to you, I know nothing.
Martha: Well don’t complain.
Shakespeare: I’m not. It’s marvelous. Good luck, Doctor.
The Doctor: Good luck, Shakespeare. Once more unto the breach!
Shakespeare: I like that! Wait a minute, that’s one of mine.

The Doctor: I take it we’re expected.
Lilith: Oh I think death has been waiting for you a very long time.

Lilith: It’s curious. Her name has less impact. She’s somehow out of her time. And as for you, Sir Doctor. Fascinating. There is no name. Why would a man hide his title in such despair?

Lilith: The play tonight shall restore the rest. Then the human race shall be purged as pestilence. And from this world we will lead the universe back into the old ways of blood and magick.
The Doctor: Hm. Busy schedule.

The Doctor: “Stop the play”. I think that was it, yeah. I said, stop the play!
Shakespeare: I hit my head.
The Doctor: Don’t rub it, you’ll go bald.

Martha: Expelliarmus!
Shakespeare: Expelliarmus!
The Doctor: Expelliarmus! Good ‘ol J.K.!

Martha: They think it was all special effects?
Shakespeare: Your effect is special indeed.
Martha: That’s not your best line.

The Doctor: Queen Elizabeth the First!
Queen: Doctor.
The Doctor: What?
Queen: My sworn enemy!
The Doctor: What?
Queen: Off with his head!
The Doctor: What!
Martha: Well never mind, “what”, just run!
Queen: Stop him. Stop that pernicious Doctor!

View all quotes from The Shakespeare Code

Gridlock

Sally Calypso: Salutations. This is Sally Calypso with the traffic news at 10:15. We’ve got reports of a multiple stockpile at Junction 509. With a spate of carjackings reported on New Fifth Avenue. So you take care now. Drive safely!

The Face of Boe: He has arrived.
Novice Hame: What should I do?
The Face of Boe: Find him before it’s too late.

The Doctor: Sorry, but hold on a minute. What happened to your parents?
Young Girl: They drove off.
The Doctor: Yeah, but… they might drive back?
Young Girl: Everyone goes to the motorway in the end.

Thomas Kinkade Brannigan: Twenty yards. We’re having a good day.

The Doctor: You’ve been driving for two months?
Brannigan: Do I look like a teenager? We’ve been driving for twelve years now.
The Doctor: Sorry?
Brannigan: Yeah. Started out as newlyweds. Feels like yesterday.
Valerie Brannigan: Feels like twelve years to me.

The Doctor: Five years? How far did you come? Where did you start?
Brannigan: Battery Park. It’s five miles back.
The Doctor: You traveled five miles in twelve years?
Brannigan: I think he’s a bit slow.

Martha: But how are you supposed to live inside this thing? It’s tiny.
Cheen (Lenora Crichlow): Oh, we stocked up. Got self-replicating fuel, muscle stimulants for exercise, and there’s a chemical toilet at the back. And all waste products are recycled as food.
Martha: Okay. {she stops eating}

The Doctor: I once met the Duke of Manhattan. Is there any way of getting through to him?
Brannigan: Oh, now ain’t you lordly.
The Doctor: I’ve got to find my friend!
Valerie: You can’t make outside calls. The motorway is completely enclosed.
The Doctor: What about the other cars?
Brannigan: We’ve got contact with them. Well some of them, anyway. They’ve got to be on your friends list.

Cheen: They say people go missing on the motorway. Some cars just vanish, never to be seen again. ‘Cause there’s something living down there, in the smoke. Something huge and hungry. And if you get lost on the road, it’s waiting for you.
Milo: Like I said, air vents. Going down to the next layer.
Martha: Except look out there. Does it look like the air vents are working?
Milo: No. {they hear the noises from below}
Martha: So what’s that then?

The Doctor: So we keep on driving.
Brannigan: Yes we do.
The Doctor: For how long?!
Brannigan: ‘Til the journey’s end.

The Doctor: Mrs. Cassini, this is The Doctor. Tell me, how long have you been driving on the motorway?
Alice Cassini on the radio: Oh we were amongst the first. It’s been twenty-three years now.
The Doctor: And in all that time have you ever seen a police car?
May Cassini: I’m… not sure.
The Doctor: Look at your notes. Any police?
May Cassini: Not as such.
The Doctor: Or an ambulance? Rescue service? Anything official, ever?
May Cassini: I can’t keep a note of everything!
The Doctor: What if there’s no one out there?
Brannigan: Stop it! The Cassinis were doing you a favor.
The Doctor: Someone’s got to ask. ‘Cause you might not talk about it, but it’s there. In your eyes. What if the traffic jam never stops?
Brannigan: There’s a whole city above us. The mighty city-state of New New York. They wouldn’t just leave us.
The Doctor: In that case where are they? Hm? What if there no help coming. Not ever. What if there’s nothing? Just the motorway? With the cars going ’round and ’round and ’round, never stopping. Forever!
Valerie: Shut up! Just shut up!

Sally Calypso: This is Sally Calypso. And it’s that time again. The sun is blazing high in the sky over the New Atlantic. The perfect setting for the daily contemplation.
Brannigan: You think you know us so well, Doctor. We’re not abandoned. Not while we have each other.
Sally Calypso: This is for all of you out there on the roads. We’re so sorry. Drive safe.

The Doctor: If you won’t take me I’ll go down on my own.
Brannigan: What do you think you’re doing?
The Doctor: Finding my own way. I usually do. {to himself} Here we go. {to Valerie} Look after this. I love that coat. Janis Joplin gave me that coat.

Valerie: But you can’t jump!
The Doctor: If it’s any consolation, Valerie, right now I’m having kittens.
Brannigan: This Martha, she must mean an awful lot to you.
The Doctor: Hardly know her. I was too busy showing off. And I lied to her. Couldn’t help it, just lied.

Valerie: He’s completely insane.
Brannigan: That. And a bit magnificent.

The Doctor: Have you got any water?
Businessman: Certainly. Never let it be said I’ve lost my manners.

Brannigan: Just what we need. Pirates!
Valerie: I’m calling the police!
Novice Hame: The Doctor! Where is he?

Cheen: How did you think of that?
Martha: I saw it in a film. They used to do it in submarines. The trouble is, I can’t remember what they did next.
Milo: Well you better think of something, because we’ve lost the air-con. If we don’t switch the engines back on we won’t be able to breathe.
Martha: How long have we got?
Milo: Eight minutes, maximum.

The Doctor: The Macra used to be the scourge of this galaxy. Gas, they fed off the gas. The filthier the better. They built up a small empire using humans as slaves and mining gas for food.
Businessman: They don’t exactly look like empire-builders to me.
The Doctor: Well, that was billions of years ago. Billions. They must have devolved down the years, now they’re just beasts. Businessman: But they’re still hungry and my friend’s down there.

Businessman: Oh, it’s like New Times Square in here! {as Novice Hame drops in} For goodness sake.
The Doctor: I’ve invented a sport!
Businessman: Doctor. You’re a hard man to find.

Novice Hame: Doctor, you’ve got to come with me.
The Doctor: Do I know you?
Novice Hame: You haven’t aged at all. Time has been less kind to me.
The Doctor: Novice Hame!

Novice Hame: I’m sorry, but the situation is even worse than you can imagine.

Novice Hame: They died, Doctor. The city died.
The Doctor: How long has it been like this?
Novice Hame: Twenty-four years.
The Doctor: All of them? Everyone? What happened?
Novice Hame: A new chemical. A new mood. They called it “bliss”. Everyone tried it. They couldn’t stop. The virus mutated inside the compound and became airborne. Everything perished—even the virus in the end. It killed the world in seven minutes flat. There was just enough time to close down the walkways and the flyovers, sealing off the undercity. Those people on the motorway aren’t lost, Doctor. They were saved.
The Doctor: So the whole thing down there is running on automatic.
Novice Hame: There’s not enough power to get them out. We did all we could to stop the system from choking.
The Doctor: Who’s “we”? How did you survive?
Novice Hame: He protected me. And he has waited for you, these long years.
The Face of Boe: Doctor.
The Doctor: The Face of Boe!
The Face of Boe: I knew you would come.
Novice Hame: Back in the old days I was made his nurse as penance for my sin.
The Doctor: Old Friend, what happened to you?
The Face of Boe: I’m failing.
Novice Hame: He protected me from the virus by shrouding me in his smoke. With no one to maintain it, the city’s power died. The undercity would have fallen into the sea.
The Doctor: So he saved them.
Novice Hame: The Face of Boe wired himself into the mainframe. He’s giving his lifeforce just to keep things running.

The Doctor: So the two of you stayed here, on your own for all these years.
Novice Hame: We had no choice.
The Doctor: Yes, you did.
The Face of Boe: Save them, Doctor. Save them.

Martha: There’s always The Doctor. That friend of mine. He might think of something.
Milo: Martha, no one’s coming.
Cheen: He looked kind of nice.
Martha: He’s a bit more than that.
Cheen: Are you and him?
Martha: Sometimes I think he likes me, but sometimes I think he just needs someone with him.

Cheen: I never even asked. Where’s home?
Martha: It’s a long way away. I didn’t really think. I just followed the Doctor and… they don’t even know where I am—my mom and dad. If I died here they’d never know.
Milo: So who is he, then? This doctor.
Martha: I don’t know. Well, not really. There’s so much he never says.
Cheen: But that means that the only hope right now is a complete stranger? Well that’s no use!
Martha: It is though. Because you haven’t seen the things he can do. Honestly. Just trust me, both of you. You’ve got your faith. You’ve got your songs and your hymns. And I’ve got the Doctor.

The Doctor: The transformers are blocked. The signal can’t get through.
The Face of Boe: Doctor—
The Doctor: Yeah, hold on. Not now.
The Face of Boe: I give you my last.
The Doctor: Hame, look after him! Don’t you go dying on me, you big old Face. You’ve got to see this. The open road. Ha!

Brannigan: By all the cats in the Kingdom.
Valerie: What is it? What is it? It’s the sun! Oh Brannigan! Children, it’s the sunlight.
The Doctor: Sorry, no Sally Calypso. She was just a hologram. My name’s The Doctor—
Brannigan: He’s a magician.
The Doctor: —and this is an order: everyone drive up. Now. I’ve opened the roof of the motorway. Come on. Throttle those engines and drive up. All of you, the whole undercity. Drive up!

Brannigan: Didn’t I tell you, Doctor! You’re not bad, sir! Not bad at all!
The Doctor: You keep driving, Brannigan. All the way up. ‘Cause it’s here, just waiting for you. The city of New New York and it’s yours. And don’t forget, I want that coat back.
Brannigan: I reckon that’s a fair bargain, sir.

Martha: What’s that?
The Doctor: It’s The Face of Boe. It’s alright. Come say hello. And this is Hame. She’s a cat. Don’t worry. He’s the one that saved you, not me.
Novice Hame: My Lord gave his life to save the city. And now he’s dying.
The Doctor: No, don’t say that. Not old Boe. Plenty of life left.
The Face of Boe: It’s good to breathe the air once more.
Martha: Who is he?
The Doctor: I don’t even know. Legend says the Face of Boe has lived for billions of years. Isn’t that right? And you’re not about to give up now.
The Face of Boe: Everything has its time. You know that, old friend. Better than most.
Novice Hame: The legend says more.
The Doctor: Don’t. There’s no need for that.
Novice Hame: It says that The Face of Boe will speak his final secret to a traveller.
The Doctor: Yeah but not yet. Who needs secrets, eh?
The Face of Boe: I have seen so much. Perhaps too much. I am the last of my kind. As you are the last of yours, Doctor.
The Doctor: That’s why we have to survive. Both of us. Don’t go.
The Face of Boe: I must. But know this, Time Lord: You are not alone.

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Daleks in Manhattan

Solomon (Hugh Quarshie): No stealin’ and no fightin’. You know the rules. Thirteen years ago, I fought in the Great War. Lot of us did. And the only reason we got through was ’cause we stuck together. No matter how bad things get we still act like human beings. That’s all we got.

The Doctor: I suppose that makes you the boss around here.
Solomon: And, ah, who might you be?
Martha: He’s the Doctor, I’m Martha.
Solomon: A doctor? Huh. Well. We got stockbrokers, we got a lawyer. But you’re the first doctor. Neighborhood gets classier by the day.
Martha: How people live here?
Solomon: Any one time? Hundreds. No place else to go. But I will say this about Hooverville. We’re a truly equal society. Black, white, all the same. All starving.

Foreman: One word from me and every man on this site stops working. So go on, tell your masters that.
Mr. Diagoras (Eric Loren): Well if that’s your attitude, I think you should tell ’em yourself.
Foreman: Yeah? Well I ain’t afraid of no man in a suit. These new bosses, what’s their names?
Mr. Diagoras: I think you could say they’re from out of town.
Foreman: Italians?
Mr. Diagoras: Bit further than that.
Foreman: How much further?
Mr. Diagoras: Beyond your imagination.
Foreman: Oh what’s that supposed to mean? Who are they? Mr. Diagoras, who are we working for?
Mr. Diagoras: Behold your masters. {a Dalek appears}

The Doctor: So. Men going missing, is this true?
Solomon: It’s true all right.
The Doctor: But what does “missing’ mean? People must come and go here all the time, it’s not like anyone’s keeping a register.
Solomon: Come on in. {they enter the tent} This is different.
Martha: In what way?
Solomon: Someone takes them. At night. We hear something—someone calls out for help. By the time we get there they’re gone. Like they vanish into thin air.
The Doctor: And you’re sure someone’s taking them.
Solomon: Doctor, when you’ve got next to nothing, you hold on to the little you’ve got. Knife, blanket, you take it with you. You don’t leave bread uneaten, a fire still burning.

Martha: So what about you, Frank? You’re not from around these parts are you?
Frank (Andrew Garfield): Oh you could talk. No, I’m Tennessee born and bred.

Mr. Diagoras: And here, the crowning glory of the Empire State Building. The mast itself. One thousand four-hundred and seventy-two feet above New York.
Worker: It’s a beautiful thing, sir. And every one of us is proud of it. My wife says it’s like a spire reaching into heaven.
Mr. Diagoras: Except the gates of heaven need a little decoration.

Mr. Diagoras: I don’t care how cold it is, how tired you are. Just get out there and finish the job!

Dalek Thay: The conductor must be complete for our plan to succeed.
Mr. Diagoras: Unemployment is such an incentive. It’ll get done, don’t worry.
Dalek Thay: Daleks have no concept of worry.
Mr. Diagoras: Yeah? Well lucky you.

Dalek Thay: My planet is gone. Destroyed in a great war. Yet versions of this city stand throughout history. The human race always continues.
Mr. Diagoras: We’ve had wars. I’ve been a soldier myself. And I swore then that I’d survive. No matter what.
Dalek Thay: You have rare ambition.
Mr. Diagoras: I want to run this city, whatever it takes. By any means necessary.
Dalek Thay: You think like a Dalek.
Mr. Diagoras: I’ll take that as a compliment.

Mr. Diagoras: Where are we going?
Dalek Thay: You have been summoned by our leader.
Mr. Diagoras: Oh. And about time too.

Tallulah: And I’m not stupid, I know some guys are just pigs, but not my Laszlo. I mean what kind of guy asks you to meet his mom before he vamooses?
The Doctor: Yeah, might just help if you put that down.
Tallulah: Huh? Oh, sure. {she casually tosses it} Oh come on, it’s not real. It’s just a prop. It was either that or a spear.

The Doctor: Listen—what was your name?
Tallulah: Tallulah.
The Doctor: Tallulah.
Tallulah: Three L’s and an H.
The Doctor: Right. We can try and find Laszlo but he’s not the only one. There are people disappearing every night.
Solomon: Down there are creatures. Such creatures…

The Doctor: Just rigging up a crude little DNA scan for this beastie. If I can get a chromosomal reading I can find out where it’s from.
Solomon: How ’bout you, Doctor? Where are you from? I’ve been all over, I’ve never heard anybody talk like you. Just exactly who are you?
The Doctor: Oh, I’m just sort of passing by.
Solomon: I’m not a fool, Doctor.
The Doctor: No. Sorry.

Martha: Bet they’d listen to you. You’re one of the stars.
Tallulah: Oh honey, I got one song and a back-street review and that’s only because Heidi Shicane broke her ankle—which had nothing to do with me whatever anybody says. I can’t afford to make a fuss. If I don’t make this month’s rent then before you know it I’m in Hooverville.
Martha: Okay. I get it.
Tallulah: It’s the Depression sweetie. Your heart might break but the show must go on. ‘Cause if it stops, you starve.

Tallulah: You’re lucky though. You got yourself a forward-thinkin’ guy with that hot potato in the sharp suit.
Martha: He’s not— We’re not… together.
Tallulah: Oh sure you are. I’ve seen the way you look at him. It’s obvious.
Martha: Not to him.
Tallulah: Oh I should have realized. He’s into musical theater, huh? What a waste. Still you gotta live in hope.

Dalek Sec: The pig slaves are primitive. The final experiment is greater by far.
Diagoras: But how does that involve me?
Dalek Sec: We need your flesh. Bring him to me!
Dalek Thay: Halt! This action contradicts the Dalek imperative.
Dalek Caan: Daleks are supreme. Humans are weak.
Dalek Sec: But there are millions of humans and only four of us. If we are supreme, why are we not victorious? The Cult of Skaro was created by the Emperor for this very purpose. To imagine new ways of survival.
Dalek Thay: But we must remain pure.
Dalek Sec: No, Dalek Thay. Our purity has brought us to extinction. We must adapt to survive.

Tallulah: Have you ever been on stage before?
Martha: Oh, a little bit. You know. Shakespeare.
Tallulah: How dull is that! Come and see a real show.

The Doctor: They survive. They always survive while I lose everything.
Tallulah: That metal thing? What was it?
The Doctor: It’s called a Dalek. And it’s not just metal, it’s alive.
Tallulah: You’re kidding me.
The Doctor: Do I look like I’m kidding? In side that shell is a creature born to hate. Whose only thought is to destroy everything and everyone that isn’t a Dalek too. It’ won’t stop until it’s killed every human being alive.

The Doctor: Do you know what happened to Martha?
Laszlo: They took her. It’s my fault—she was following me.
Were you in the theater?
Laszlo: I never… yes.
Why? Why were you there?!
Laszlo: I never wanted you to see me like this.
Why me? What I got to do with this? Were you following me, is that why you were there?
Laszlo: Yes.
Who are you?
Laszlo: I was lonely. I needed to see you.
Who are you?
Laszlo: I’m sorry.
No, wait. Lemme look at you. Laszlo? My Laszlo? What have they done to you?
Laszlo: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

Frank (Andrew Garfield): What are they keeping us here for?
Martha: I don’t know. I’ve got a nasty feeling we’re being kept in the larder.

Laszlo: They’re divided into two groups. High intelligence and low intelligence. The low intelligence are taken to become pig slaves like me.
Tallulah: Well that’s not fair. You’re the smartest guy I ever dated.
The Doctor: And the others?
Laszlo: They’re taken to the laboratory.
The Doctor: Why? What for?

Dalek Thay: You will bear witness.
Martha: To what?
Dalek Thay: This is the dawn of a new age.
Martha: What does that mean?
Dalek Thay: We are the only four Daleks in existence. So the species must evolve. A life outside the shell. The children of Skaro must walk again.

Mr. Diagoras/Dalek Sec: I am a human Dalek. I am your future.

View all quotes from Daleks in Manhattan

Evolution of the Daleks

Dalek Sec: These humans will become like me. Prepare them for hybridization.
Martha: Leave me alone! Don’t you dare! {a radio starts playing}
Dalek Sec: What is that sound?
The Doctor: Ah. Well. Now. That would be me. Hello. Surprise! Boo! Etcetera.
Dalek Sec: Doctor.
Dalek Thay: The enemy of the Daleks!
Dalek Caan: Exterminate!
Dalek Sec: Wait!
The Doctor: Well then, a new form of Dalek. Fascinating. And very clever.
Dalek Sec: The Cult of Skaro escaped your slaughter.
The Doctor: How did you end up in 1930?
Dalek Sec: Emergency temporal shift.
The Doctor: Oh ho. That must have roasted up your power cells, yeah? Time was, four Daleks could have conquered the world. But instead you’re skulking away, hidden in the dark, experimenting. All of which results in you.
Dalek Sec: I am Dalek in human form!

The Doctor: Tell me what you’re thinking right now.
Dalek Sec: I feel… humanity.
The Doctor: Good. That’s good.
Dalek Sec: I feel… everything we wanted from humankind. Which is ambition, hatred, aggression. And war. Such a genius for war.
The Doctor: No. That’s not what humanity means.
Dalek Sec: I think it does. At heart this species is so very Dalek.

Dalek Thay: Report status.
Dalek Sec: Pain! Pain of the flesh like no Dalek has felt for years!
Dalek Thay: The Doctor has escaped.
Dalek Sec: Then find him!

Dalek Caan: Request information: what is your opinion of Dalek Sec.
Dalek Thay: We were created to follow him.
Dalek Caan: But you have doubts.
Dalek Thay: Affirmative.

Dalek Sec: Observe humanity. For all their faults they have such courage.

Dalek Thay: You saved the Doctor. Why?
Dalek Sec: He’s a genius and we can use him. The future of the Daleks might well depend on the Doctor.

Dalek Sec: The deaths were wrong.
The Doctor: I’m sorry.
Dalek Sec: That man—their leader—Solomon. He showed courage.
The Doctor: And that’s good?
Dalek Sec: That’s excellent.
The Doctor: Is it me or are you just becoming a little more human.
Dalek Sec: You are the last of your kind. And now I am the first of mine.

The Doctor: Yeah yeah yeah. The Empire State Building. We’re right underneath that. I worked that out already, thanks. But what, you’ve hijacked the whole building?
Dalek Sec: We needed an energy conductor.

Dalek Sec: Consider the pure Dalek. Intelligent but emotionless.
The Doctor: Removing the emotions makes you stronger. That’s what your creator thought, all those years ago.
Dalek Sec: He was wrong.
The Doctor: He was what?
Dalek Sec: It makes us lesser than our enemies. We must return to the flesh. And also the heart.
The Doctor: You wouldn’t be the supreme beings anymore.
Dalek Sec: And that is good.
Dalek Caan: That is incorrect.
Dalek Thay: Daleks are supreme.
Dalek Sec: No. Not anymore!
Dalek Thay: But that is our purpose.
Dalek Sec: Then our purpose is wrong! Where has our quest for supremacy led us? To this? Hiding in the sewers on a primitive world. Just four of us left. If we do not change now then we deserve extinction.
The Doctor: So you want to change everything that makes a Dalek a Dalek.
Dalek Sec: If you can help me.

Tallulah: New York City. If aliens had to come to Earth, no wonder they came here.

The Doctor: These pig slaves, what happens to them in the grand plan?
Dalek Sec: Nothing. They’re just simple beasts. Their life span is limited. None survive beyond a few weeks.

The Doctor: Laszlo, I can’t undo what they’ve done to you but they won’t do it to anyone else.
Laszlo: Do you trust him?
The Doctor: I know that one man can change the course of history. Right idea in the right place at the right time is all it takes. I’ve got to believe it’s possible.

Tallulah: So tell me, where’d you and him first hook up?
Martha: It was in hospital. Sort of.
Tallulah: Of course! Him being a doctor.
Martha: Actually I’m the doctor. Well, kind of.
Tallulah: You’re a physician? Really?
Martha: I was in training. Still am if I ever get home.

The Doctor: The gene feed! They’re overriding the gene feed!
Dalek Sec: Impossible. They cannot disobey orders.
Dalek Thay: The Doctor will step away from the controls.
Dalek Sec: Stop! You will not fire!
Dalek Caan: He is an enemy of the Daleks.
Dalek Thay: And so are you.
Dalek Sec: I am your commander! I am Dalek Sec!
Dalek Caan: You have lost your authority!
Dalek Thay: You are no longer a Dalek!

Martha: Doctor!
The Doctor: First floor perfumerie.
Tallulah to Laszlo: I never thought I’d see you again.
Laszlo: No stopping me.
Martha: We worked it out—we know what they’ve done. There’s Dalekanium on the mast. And it’s good to see you too, by the way.
The Doctor: Oh, come here! {hugs Martha as the elevator closes}. See? Never waste time on a hug!

Tallulah: What the hell are you two clowns doing?
Martha: Even if the Doctor stops Dalekanium this place is still gonna get hit. Great big bolt of lightning, electricity all down the building. Connect this to the lift and they get zapped.
Tallulah: Oh my god, that could work.
Frank: Then give us a hand!

Dalek Caan: The army awakes!

The Doctor: Tallulah!
Tallulah: That’s me—three Ls and an H.

Tallulah: Listen, Doctor, I know you got a thing for show tunes but there’s a time and a place.

Dalek Jast: You will die, Doctor, at the beginning of a new age.
Dalek Thay: Planet Earth will become New Skaro.
The Doctor: Oh and what a world. With anything just the slightest bit different just ground into the earth. That’s Dalek Sec. Don’t you remember? The cleverest Dalek ever and look what you’ve done to him.

Dalek Caan: Warning: Dalek Humans show increased levels of serotonin.
The Doctor: If I’m gonna die let’s give the new boys a shot. What do you think, eh? The Dalek Humans, their first blood. Go on, baptism them!
Dalek Thay: Dalek Humans take aim!
The Doctor: What are you waiting for? Give the command.
Dalek Jast: Exterminate! Exterminate! Obey! Dalek Humans will obey!
Martha: They’re not firing.

The Doctor: Sorry. I got in the way of the lightning strike. Time Lord DNA got all mixed up. Just that little bit of freedom.

Laszlo: Only two of the Daleks have been destroyed. One of the Dalek masters must still be alive.
The Doctor: Oh yes. In the whole universe, just one.

The Doctor: Now what?
Dalek Caan: You will be exterminated!
The Doctor: Yeah yeah yeah. Just think about it, Dalek—what was your name?
Dalek Caan: Dalek Caan.
The Doctor: Dalek Caan. Your entire species has been wiped out. And now the Cult of Skaro has been eradicated. Leaving only you. Right now you’re facing the only man in the universe who might show you some compassion. ‘Cause I’ve just seen one genocide. I won’t cause another. Caan. Let me help you. What do you say?
Dalek Caan: Emergency temporal shift!

Laszlo: I’m dying, Tallulah.
Tallulah: No, you’re not! Not now after all this. Doctor, can’t you do somethin’?
The Doctor: Oh Tallulah with three Ls and an H. Just you watch me.

View all quotes from Evolution of the Daleks

The Lazarus Project

Professor Richard Lazarus (Mark Gatiss): With the push of a single button, I will change what it means to be human.

Lady Thaw (Thelma Barlow): Are you sure it’s safe?
Professor Lazarus: There were some issues, they’ve been resolved. I’m confident I’m in no serious danger.
Lady Thaw: That’s comforting, Richard. But it wasn’t just you I was worried about.
Professor Lazarus: Your concern is touching.
Lady Thaw: The people in that room will represent billions of pounds worth of potential investment. Mr. Saxon wants to be sure they like what they see.
Professor Lazarus: Don’t worry, our friend will get his money’s worth.

Professor Lazarus: That’s an interesting perfume. What’s it called?
Leticia Jones (Gugu Mbatha-Raw): Soap.

The Doctor: So do you know what the professor’s going to be doing tonight? That looks like it might be a sonic microfilm manipulator.
Tish: He’s a science geek. I should have known.

Francine Jones (Adjoa Andoh): You disappeared last night.
Martha: I… just went home.
Francine: On your own?
Martha: This is a friend of mine. The Doctor.
Francine: Doctor What?
Martha: No, it’s just The Doctor. We’ve been doing some work together.
The Doctor: Lovely to meet you, Mrs. Jones. Heard a lot about you.
Francine: Have you? What have you heard then?
The Doctor: Oh, you know, that you’re Martha’s mother, and… erm… no, actually that’s about it. We haven’t had much time to chat. You know. Been busy.
Francine: Busy? Doing what exactly?
The Doctor: Oh, you know. Stuff.

Professor Lazarus: I am Professor Richard Lazarus and tonight I am going to perform a miracle. It is, I believe, the most important advance since Rutherford split the atom. The biggest leap since Armstrong stood on the moon. Tonight you will watch and wonder. And tomorrow you will wake to a world which will be changed forever.

Professor Lazarus: Ladies and gentlemen, I am Richard Lazarus. I am seventy-six years old. And I am reborn!

Lady Thaw: Richard!
Professor Lazarus: I’m famished.
The Doctor: Energy deficit. Always happens with this kind of process.
Professor Lazarus: You talk as if you see this every day, Mr.—
The Doctor: Doctor. And well, no, not everyday. But I have some experience with this kind of transformation.
Professor Lazarus: That’s not possible.
The Doctor: Using hypersonic sound waves to create a state of resonance. That’s inspired.
Professor Lazarus: You understand the theory then.
The Doctor: Enough to know that you couldn’t possibly have allowed for all the variables.
Professor Lazarus: No experiment is entirely without risk.
The Doctor: That thing nearly exploded. You might as well have stepped into a blender.
Lady Thaw: You’re not qualified to comment!
The Doctor: If I hadn’t stopped it, it would have exploded.
Professor Lazarus: Then I thank you, Doctor. But that’s a simple engineering issue.

Lady Thaw: The device will be properly certified before we start to operate commercially.
Martha: Commercially? You are joking. That’ll cause chaos.

Professor Lazarus: Not chaos. Change. A chance for humanity to evolve—to improve.
The Doctor: This isn’t about improving. This is about you and your customers living a little longer.
Professor Lazarus: Not a little longer, Doctor. A lot longer. Perhaps indefinitely.

Lazarus: You think I’d waste another lifetime on you?
Lady Thaw: Did that process make you even more cruel?
Lazarus: No, my love. That I learned from you. You have a gift for it.
Lady Thaw: Then you know that I’ll protect my involvement in the project. I’m sure Mr. Saxon will be interested.

Stranger: Do you know that man?
Francine: No. He’s a friend of my daughter’s.
Stranger: Perhaps she should choose her friends more carefully.

Lazarus: “Between the idea and reality. Between the motion and the act—”
The Doctor: “—falls the shadow.”
Lazarus: So the mysterious Doctor knows his Eliot. I’m impressed.

Tish: You have to spoil everything, don’t you? Every time I find someone nice you try and have to find fault.
Martha: Tish, he’s a monster!
Tish: I know the age thing’s pretty freaky, but it works for Catherine Zeta-Jones.

The Doctor: Listen to me! You people are in serious danger. You need to get out of here right now.
Woman: Don’t be ridiculous, The biggest danger here is choking on an olive.

Tish: What’s the Doctor doing?
Martha: He’s trying to buy us some time. Let’s not waste it.

Lazarus: It’s no good, Doctor. You can’t stop me.
The Doctor: Is that the same arrogance you had when you swore nothing had gone wrong with your device?
Lazarus: The arrogance is yours. you can’t stand in the way of progress.
The Doctor: You call feeding on innocent people progress? You’re delusional!
Lazarus: It is a necessary sacrifice.
The Doctor: That’s not your decision to make.

Lazarus: Peekaboo.
The Doctor: Oh. Hello.

Martha: I’ve got to go back.
Francine: You can’t! You saw what that thing did. It’ll kill you.
Martha: I don’t care. I have to go.
Francine: It’s that doctor, isn’t it? That’s what’s happened to you. You’ve changed.

Lazarus: More hide-and-seek, Doctor? How disappointing. Why don’t you come out and face me?
The Doctor: Have you looked in the mirror lately? Why would I want to face that. Hm?

The Doctor: Ah Mrs. Jones. We still haven’t finished our chat.
Francine Jones slapping him: Keep away from my daughter!
Martha: Mum what are you doing?
The Doctor: Always the mothers, every time.
Francine: He is dangerous! I’ve been told things!

Lazarus: I sat here, just a child. The sound of planes and bombs outside.
The Doctor: The Blitz.
Lazarus: You’ve read about it?
The Doctor: I was there.
Lazarus: You’re too young.
The Doctor: So are you.

The Doctor: Facing death is part of being human. You can’t change that.
Lazarus: No, Doctor! Avoiding death. That’s being human. It’s our strongest impulse. To cling to life with every fiber of being. I’m only doing what everyone before me has tried to do. I’ve simply been more… successful.
The Doctor: Look at yourself! You’re mutating. You’ve no control over it. You call that a success?
Lazarus: I call it progress. I’m more now than I was. More than just an ordinary human.
The Doctor: There’s no such thing as an ordinary human.

Lazarus: You so sentimental Doctor. Maybe you are older than you look.
The Doctor: I’m old enough to know that a longer life isn’t always a better one. In the end you just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that
matters to you. Tired of watching everything turn to dust. If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you’ll end up alone.
Lazarus: That’s a price worth paying.

Lazarus: I will feed soon.
The Doctor: I’m not going to let that happen.

Martha: Thanks.
Tish: It’s your doctor you should be thanking.
Martha: I told you he’d think of something.
Tish: He cut it a bit fine there, didn’t he?
Martha: He always does. It’s more fun that way.
Tish: Who is he?
Martha: He’s… he’s The Doctor.

View all quotes from The Lazarus Experiment

42

Orin Scannell (Anthony Flanagan): Oy! You two!
Kath McDonnell (Michelle Collins): Get out of there!
Orin: Seal that door now!
Kath: Who are you? What are you doing on my ship?
Riley Vashtee (William Ash): Are you the police?
The Doctor: Why would we be police?
Martha: We got your distress signal.

The Doctor: If this is a ship, why can’t I hear any engines?
Kath: It went dead four minutes ago.
Orin: So maybe we should stop chatting and get to engineering. Captain.

Kath McDonnell: We’ll get out of this. I promise.
Martha: Doctor!
The Doctor: Forty-two minutes until what?
Kath: Forty-two minutes until we crash into the sun.

The Doctor: My ship’s in there!
Riley: In the vent chamber?
The Doctor: It’s our lifeboat!
Scannell: It’s lava.
Erina Lessak (Rebecca Oldfield): Temperature’s going mad in there. Up three thousand degrees in ten seconds and still rising.
Scannell: Tunneling the air. The closer we get to the sun, the hotter that room’s gonna get.
Martha: We’re stuck here.
The Doctor: So? We fix the engines, we steer the ship away from the sun. Simple.

The Doctor: And you’re still using energy scoops for fusion. Hasn’t that been outlawed yet?
Kath: We’re due to upgrade next docking.

Kath: Scannell, engine report.
Scannell: No response.
Kath: What?
Scannell: They’re burnt out. The controls are wrecked. I can’t get them back online.
The Doctor: Oh, come on! Auxiliary engines. Every craft’s got auxiliaries.
Kath: We don’t have access from here. The auxiliary controls are in the front of the ship.
Scannell: With twenty-nine password sealed doors between us and them. You’re never gonna get there in time.
Martha: Can’t you override the doors?
Scannell: No. Sealed closure means what it says. They’re all deadlock sealed.
The Doctor: So a sonic screwdriver’s of no use.
Scannell: Nothing’s any use.
We’ve got no engines, no time and no chance.
The Doctor: Oh listen to you! Defeated before you’ve even started. Where’s your Dunkirk spirit?

Kath: What’s wrong with him?
The Doctor: Rising body temperature, unusual energy readings… Stasis chamber. I do love a good stasis chamber. Keep him sedated in there, regulate the body temperature. And just for fun, run a bio-scan, a tissue profile and a metabolic detail.
Abi Lerner (Vinette Robinson): Just doing them now.
The Doctor: Oo, you’re good.

The Doctor: Call us if there’s news. Any questions?
Abi: Yeah. Who’re you?
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor.

Martha: What’re you typing?
Riley: Each door’s trip codes the answer to a random question set by the crew. Nine tours back we got drunk, thought ’em up. Reckoning was, if we’re hijacked, we’re the only ones who know all the answers.
Martha: So you type in the right answer…
Riley: This {indicates the device} sends a remote pulse to the clamp. We only get one chance per door. Get it wrong, the whole system freezes.
Martha: Better not get it wrong then.

Door Security Protocol: Date of SS Pentallion’s first flight?

Door Security Protocol: Find the next number in the sequence: 313, 331, 367, …?

The Doctor: 379! It’s a sequence of happy primes. 379.
Martha: Happy what?
The Doctor: Just enter it!
Riley: Are you sure? We only get one chance.
The Doctor: Any number that reduces to one when you take the sum of the square of its digits in continuing iteration until it yields one is a happy number.
Any number that doesn’t isn’t. A happy prime is a number that’s both happy and prime. Now type it in! {to Kath} I don’t know, talk about dumbing down. Don’t they teach recreational mathematics anymore?

Door Security Protocol:
Classical Music: Who had more pre-download Number Ones, Elvis Presley or The Beatles?

The Doctor distracted by the Beatles question: Now where was I? Here comes the sun? No. Resources!

Francine Jones: What is this, pub quiz?
Martha: Yeah, pub quiz.
Francine: Using your mobile is cheating.

Abi: Doctor, these readings are starting to scare me.
The Doctor: What do you mean?
Abi: Korwin’s body is changing. His whole biological makeup, it’s impossible!

Korwin: Burn with me. Burn with me.

Scannell: Captain?
The Doctor: I told you to stay in engineering.
Scannell: I only take orders from one person around here.
The Doctor: Oh, is he always this cheery?

The Doctor: Body oxygen replaced by hydrogen. Your husband hasn’t been infected, he’s been overwhelmed.
Kath: The test results are wrong.
The Doctor: What is it though? A parasite? Mutagenic virus? Something that needs a host body. How did it get inside?
Kath: Stop talking like he’s some kind of experiment!
The Doctor: Where’s this ship been? Have you made planetfall recently? Docked with any other vessels? Any sort of external contact at all?
Kath: What is this, an interrogation?
The Doctor: We’ve got to stop him before he kills again.

Kath: I don’t want false hope.
The Doctor: The parasite’s too aggressive. Your husband’s gone. There’s no way back. I’m sorry.
Kath: Thank you.

Kath: What do you mean it’s my fault?
Korwin: It’s your fault. Now burn with me.

Scannell: What did he mean, your fault?

Riley: The wonderful world of space travel. The prettier it looks, the more likely it is to kill you.
Martha: He’ll come for us.
Riley: It’s too late. Our heat shields will pack it in any minute, then we’ll go into freefall. We’ll fall into the sun way before he has a chance to do anything.
Martha: You don’t know the Doctor. I believe in him.

Martha: Oh god, they’ll never know. I’ll just have disappeared. They’ll always be waiting.
Riley: Call them.

Scannell: Doctor, will you listen. They’re too far away. It’s too late.
The Doctor: I’m not going to lose her.

Francine: Is the Doctor with you? Is he there now?
Martha: Mom, just leave it.
Francine: It’s a simple enough question.
Martha: I better go.
Francine: No, Martha, wait—
Martha: See ya, mum.

The Doctor: It’s your fault, Captain McDonnell.
Kath: Riley, get down to Area 10 and help Scannell with the doors. {he hesitates} Go!
The Doctor: You mined that sun!
Skipped its surface for cheap fuel. You should have scanned for life!
Kath: I don’t understand.
Martha: Doctor, what are you talking about?
The Doctor: That sun is alive! A living organism! They scooped out its heart, used it for fuel and now it’s screaming!
Kath: What do you mean? How can a sun be alive, why’s he saying that?
The Doctor: Because it’s living in me.
Kath: Oh my god.
The Doctor: Humans! You grab whatever’s nearest and bleed it dry. You should have scanned!
Kath: It takes too long. We’d be caught. Fusion scoops are illegal.

Scannell: What’s your favorite color?
Riley: You all right?
Scannell: It’s the question!
Riley: Purple. Or did I say orange?
Scannell: Come on!

Kath: You were right. It was my fault.

Survival Estimate Projection: Zero Percent

Scannell: It’s not working. Why is it not working?!
Martha running in: Vent the engines, dump the fuel.
Scannell: What?
Martha: Sun particles in the fuel, get rid of them. Do it. NOW!

Scannell: This is never your ship.
The Doctor: Compact, eh? And another good word: robust. Barely a scorch mark on ‘er.

Riley: So you’re off then. No chance I’ll see you again?
Martha shaking her head: Not really. But it was nice… not dying with you. I reckon you’ll find someone worth believing in.
Riley: I think I already did. {they kiss}
Martha: Well done. Very hot.

Martha: Just remind me, what day is it again?
Francine: Election day.

View all quotes from 42