The Dearly Beloved

Ryan: How are you doing?
Seth: Well, I was depressed. Now I’m depressed and confused.
Ryan: A rehab center. Where’d you get this?
Seth: My dad’s office. I don’t think he’s trying to kick bagels.
Ryan: I don’t think it’s for your dad.

Julie: All my black dresses look like they should be accessorized with a broomstick. Do you have anything I could borrow?
Marissa: It’s a funeral mom, not a fashion show. {pause} Sorry. Look, let me see what I’ve got.
Julie: Wait. I can do it.
Marissa: No. You’ve been through more than enough. I didn’t mean to be a bitch.
Julie: Apples and trees. You are my daughter.
Marissa: Which means I must have something that will look great on you.

Jimmy: Hey Jules.
Julie: Jimmy. What are you doing here?
Jimmy: Well you didn’t think I would leave you two alone during all of this, did you?

Hailey: After all these years, I caused him nothing but stress and anxiety.
Kirsten: Nothing made him more proud than your getting your life together. Me? Last time I saw him I told him he was going to die alone.

Seth: Princess Sparkle, you’re in my room.
Summer: Yeah. I figured Oats would pretty down and could use the companionship of someone sweet and pretty and with shinier hair. Who would just, you know, be there for him.
Seth: Well the Captain’s pretty lucky.
Summer: Yeah, well, if he gets fresh with her it’s straight to the glue factory. I know you and your grandpa were close.
Seth: It’s actually my mom that I’m worried about.
Summer: Your mom?
Seth: Yeah. This morning I was in my dad’s office and I found, like, a brochure for rehab.
Summer: Oh my god. Has she been drinking a lot?
Seth: Well, I mean she is a WASP living in Orange County, so it’s all relative, right? I don’t know, she has a glass of wine at dinner, maybe two.
Summer: Maybe more than that?
Seth: That’s the thing, I’ve been so self-involved this past year I don’t even know. I have no idea. I’m sure it’s, you know, at least partially my fault. I know running away was really hard on her last summer.
Summer: Cohen, no offense, but you’re being self-involved again. I think this is bigger than you.

Sandy giving Caleb’s eulogy: Caleb Nichol was not a man of many words. He was however a brilliant man. He leaves a legacy of possibility. But his true achievement were his children. He was a caring father, a wonderful grandfather, a truly terrible father-in-law. […] So, he may be gone, but he won’t soon be forgotten. Rest in peace, Caleb. And if you can’t do that, I’m sure heaven could use a few more McMansions.

Hailey: So you moved to Hawaii. How is it?
Jimmy: It’s fantastic. You would not believe the North Shore.
Hailey: So I’ve heard.

Julie: If it would help, I could take over Kirsten Watch for awhile.
Sandy: I don’t know if anything’s gonna help.
Julie: So then let her glower at me. I’m used to it.
Sandy: Unfortunately, so am I these days. Thank you Julie.

Seth: Okay, I’ve officially talked to every pillar of the community. I’m sick of pillars.
Ryan: At least you don’t have everyone asking if you’re the guy that burned down Caleb’s model home and caused him to have his first heart attack.
Marissa: Yeah, well everyone’s looking at me like I’m the grieving step-daughter. I don’t think the guy could stand me.

Seth: Okay, where’s Summer? Is she smoking the salmon herself?

Sandy: I am powerless before a white fish.

Seth about the Bait Shop: Do I still even work here? I should find out for tax purposes.

Summer: One girl, two brothers. It’s all a little Legends of the Fall.
Marissa: Hm. I never saw that one.

Hailey about Kirsten: How long has this been going on?
Sandy: Too long. And last night sealed the deal. She’s getting help whether she wants it or not.
Hailey: Speaking of help, how can I?

Trey: I was helping Jess out and it got a little outta control.
Ryan: Story of your life, right?
Trey: Yeah, but that was it, man. I told her I’m done.
Ryan: Done. You’ve been done before, too.
Trey: Dude, I know, but Jess turned out to be a little crazier than I expected.
Ryan: Really? That’s a surprise considering you met her face down in a pool?

Sandy: There’s a doctor coming here this afternoon. He’s going to help us stage an intervention.
Seth: What? Is this like an after-school special? Her dad died, she’s sad. She’s having a few drinks.
Sandy: This has been going on for a long time. The car accident she had—
Seth: Yeah?
Sandy: Did you know she’d been drinking?
Seth: No. I didn’t. Because you never told me! You never told me anything until right now and you expect me to help ship her off.
Sandy: We’re trying to help her.
Seth: Right. How do I know you didn’t cause her to drink? Something weird’s been going on between you two all year.
Sandy: I get that you’re upset. I’m upset too.
Seth: Okay, well if your way of showing that you’re upset is shipping her off so you don’t have to deal with her, that’s fine. I’m just not going to be a part of it.
Sandy: You are a part of it, whether you want to be or not. You want to run away again? Get in your boat and sail away? Your mother needs you. {Enter Ryan} Come on in Ryan, you should hear this.
Seth: Yeah, apparently mom’s a drunk and today’s the intervention. So plan your afternoon accordingly.

Ryan: If you want, I could talk to him, tell him you’re doing the right thing. ‘Cause you are.
Sandy: Thanks. That’s my job.

Kirsten: Oh, don’t you say a word. I let you into this house.
Ryan: Yeah, you did. Because my own mom couldn’t take care of me. Because she wouldn’t get help even though I asked her to. I don’t want to see that happen again to someone I love.

Kirsten: Are you going to be okay?
Seth: Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about Dad. We’ll set up a stage in the living room. Give him a microphone and the music to Starlight Express.
Ryan: I’ve got the takeout menus covered.
Seth: I’ll order. I’m good with the phone.
Ryan: We’ll be fine.
Kirsten: I love you both so much.

Jimmy: What if I decided to stay? What if we gave it another shot? We’re both older and wiser now.
Julie: Well, I’m certainly wiser.

Jess: You a gambler, Trey?
Trey: I hooked up with you.

Seth: This whole floating in the pool thing is not really helping.
Ryan: Yeah, I hear you.
Seth: Neither is video games or the wisdom of Chuck Klosterman.
Ryan: You know, we should get out of the house. Hit up an old age home, some shuffleboard action.
Seth: I’m not really in the mood for old people.
Ryan: IMAX movie? Something with sharks?
Seth: Eh, I don’t really like sharks. {doorbell rings} The way things have been going, I bet that’s Oliver.

Seth: Before I tell you, you gotta promise you’re gonna stay calm. You’re not gonna go all old school Ryan Atwood.
Ryan: What is it?
Seth: It’s upsetting.
Ryan: Yeah, we covered that.
Seth: So. I know what happened with Trey and Marissa. What really happened.
Ryan: What do you mean?
Seth: I guess when we were away he sort of like, attacked her or something. Kind of forced himself on her. I mean nothing happened, she fought him off. But that’s why he got the cut on his head.
Ryan: All year, I have tried to be a different person. I can’t do that anymore.
Seth: Wait, Ryan, what are you gonna do?
Ryan: I’m gonna settle this with Trey. Once and for all.

Marissa: Hey, what’s going on?
Seth: Well, we’re on our way to Trey’s, but you’re closer. Maybe you can stop him.
Marissa: What are you talking about?
Seth: Ryan knows.