The O.Sea

As Seth comes to visit Ryan in the early morning
Ryan: What time is it?
Seth: It’s 5:30… ish.
Ryan: You’re showing up earlier and earlier.
Seth: Yeah, well, we have a lot of ground to cover, so I figured, since we’re both up, we may as well get a jump on it.

Seth: Something occurred to me. A new wrinkle.
Ryan: Prom?
Seth: Yeah. And I have to convince Summer to go with me. We as a couple, Ryan, must partake in the magical rite of passage known as prom.

Seth: Look, just because you saw Trey leaving Marissa’s does not mean they’re hooking up.
Ryan: Yeah? What does it mean?
Seth: Maybe he went over there to borrow something. Like a book. Or one of her News Boy caps.
Ryan: Yeah, or maybe they hooked up.
Seth: Okay, just married to the worst possible scenario.
Ryan: I’m going to talk to her about it today, but whatever happened she seems dead set on keeping it from me. The phone rings
Seth: Kind of early for a phone call.
Ryan: Kind of early for a lot of things.

Summer: You guys are going to them prom together, right?
Marissa: I wouldn’t count on it.
Summer about Ryan: Coop, did I miss something? ‘Cause for like a blip you guys actually seemed happy.
Marissa: It’s complicated.
Summer: Well, it’s you and Ryan. It’s supposed to be.

Marissa: So, everyone’s saying you’re going to be voted prom queen. Isn’t that like your fifth grade dream coming true?
Summer: No. My dream involved an actual date. A hot guy in a tux with a carnation pinned in his lapel. Instead I’m drawing straws between Nerd Boy and Ass Clown.

Julie: Sandy, I did not come here to talk about myself. But as long as we’re on the subject, I could kind of use your advice.
Sandy: Hey, if this involves you being naked, please: you gotta warn me.

Seth to Zach: Dude, I’m so sorry about the launch. I had a Bruce Banner moment.

Seth: Summer. Hey. We were both just talking and—
Summer: Save it, Cohen. I’m done listening to your excuses.
Zach: Summer, we’re really sorry. Are you willing to forgive us?
Summer: Nope. Don’t wanna forgive you. But prom is tomorrow night. And I have wanted to go my whole life. So I’m not going to let our demented little threesome ruin that for me. So I’m going. With on of you.
Seth: Well, which one of us are you going to take?
Summer: Don’t care. I am too pissed off and tired to choose. So you’re going to decide. Don’t care how. Tomorrow I will be outside in front of my house in a dress and one of you will pick me up. Got it? Good. Oh! You know, my dress is a magenta color, so my corsage should be in that general family.

Zach: She is totally hanging by a thread.
Seth: Yeah, okay. I’ll take one for the team. I’ll take her to prom.
Zach: No way! Why do you get to go?
Seth: Because, dude. I saw her first.
Zach: That doesn’t make sense.

Seth: Dude. The ladies are all over us. And not in a good way.

Seth: I understand you’re probably a little bit upset about the launch. Well. I think one day, pretty soon, we’re all gonna have a good laugh about this. Ha ha ha. I know that day feels far off, but comedy is just tragedy plus time.
Zach: Reed, we’re really sorry. We had a huge opportunity and we blew it. I hope we can make it up to you.
Reed: Thank you Zach.
Seth: I was going to say that.
Reed: Look, I hate to give you good news, but unfortunately, I have some. George Lucas is interested in Atomic County. He might want to make it into his next movie.
Seth: Oh my god!
Zach: This incredible!
Seth: Oh my god, it’s happened.
We’re like this decade’s Matt and Ben.

Reed: Face it, you two can’t do anything together except whine about Summer. I can’t face another debacle. I can’t handle another debacle. No. One.
Seth: Well which one of us do you want?
Reed: Unfortunately I am pissed off enough that I don’t even care.

Sandy to Caleb: What Kirsten needs right now is a little support. If you can’t give her that, then show yourself out.
Caleb: I see you’re employing your usual soft ball approach. That might be appropriate when your son runs off to Portland, but this is a tad more serious.

Caleb: My god, did you give any thought to your kids?
Kirsten: I am a good mother.
Caleb: You are also an alcoholic. Your mother was one, too. She did her best to hide it, but I always knew.
Kirsten: Why do you think mom drank the way she did?! Why do you think Hailey left the house at 17? If this family is screwed up it’s because of you.
Caleb: I gave you everything you ever wanted.
Kirsten: I may like my Chardonnay but I am not gonna die alone and that’s more than I can say for you!

Seth: What if we can’t decide?
Summer: Rock paper scissors. Flip a coin. I don’t care how you do it.

Seth: Maybe I’ve seen too many Saved by the Bells, but if it’s taught me anything, it sure has taught me that prom is this seminal moment. Okay? It’s meant to be shared.
Ryan: Is this about you and Summer?
Seth: No. Maybe. I don’t— Yes, but only because Summer and I aren’t going to go to our prom because of some stupid fight. So, you should really learn from the error of my ways. Please. Somebody really should.

Julie: So send me the papers. I’ll make the margs. We’ll make a party out of it.
Caleb: Oh why not. Fitting end to a bizarre marriage like ours.

Caleb: I see you pulled out all the stops. One last ditch effort to stop this divorce from going forward.
Julie: God! Paranoid much?

Trey: Your girl, she can drink, she can’t hold her liquor. Look, I’m sorry, Ry. She threw herself at me.

Theresa: Ryan, Trey has been jerking you around your entire life. And Marissa—
Ryan: Has made mistakes.
Theresa: She would never hurt you like that.
Ryan: How do you know?
Theresa: ‘Cause last year when I needed you, you know, she let you go. Even though it broke her heart. They both love you, but of the two of them? Marissa is the one you can trust.

Summer: I’m glad it’s you.
Zach: I didn’t know what magenta was so I got you white.
Summer: Perfect.

Summer: Where’s Ryan?
Marissa: He couldn’t make it. He’s sick.
Summer: Sick? Too sick to take you to prom? He better be really sick. Like dead. ’Cause if he isn’t I’m gonna strangle him with his own wife beater.

Zach: I saw your face when I got out of the limo.
Summer: And I saw yours. You want to be there, talking about your comic book with Reed. Look, my prom fantasy, it didn’t quite happen. But… you’ve been dreaming about this comic book your whole life. This is your shot. You should go.
Zach: I can’t abandon you.
Summer: I did it to you.
Zach: Good point.
Summer: Go. Save Cohen from himself.

Seth: So we ended up— well, we flipped a coin.
George Lucas: You flipped a coin?
Seth: Yeah. And you know, I know it sounds crazy, but at the time—

Caleb: You know, I’ve never been in this pool before.
Julie: No, you’re more of a land shark.
Caleb: We should have done this sort of thing more. Enjoyed each other more.
Julie: Well, we had our moments.
Caleb: I suppose this calls for a toast. You know, I really did love you, Ju-Ju.
Julie: Oo. Past tense. That stings.
Caleb: Sorry. Grammatical error. To us.
Julie: Wait stop!
Caleb: What?
Julie: I didn’t put lime in your drink. Let me make you a new one.

Seth rushing in to prom: Sorry I’m late. I was caught in traffic. realizing with dawning horror: I’m on stage.
Crowd Member: That’s not Zach Stevens!
Seth: No, I’m not.
Emcee Guy: I think you should step down. You’re not the prom king.
[…]
Crowd Member: But he’s a tool!

Ryan: Sorry I missed prom.
Marissa: You’re just in time.

Julie: Cal? Cal!

Sandy: What are we going to do about you? I found your stash.
Kirsten: It’s just in case.
Sandy: I trusted you. I believed you when you said you were done.

Sandy: […] Wait wait wait. Calm down. Say that again? […] Oh my god. I understand. […] Of course. {he hangs up.} It’s about your father.
Kirsten: What is it? He’s all right isn’t he?
Sandy: He’s dead.