Gossip Girl Season 2

In the Realm of the Basses

2009.01.05    

Amanda Setton  Desmond Harrington  Dreama Walker  Linda Emond  Nicole Fiscella  Yin Chang

Gossip Girl: Gossip Girl here, welcoming you to the New Year. When Manhattanites who flew south for the sun return to their Park Avenue perches. Which means I have a lot of catching up to do. Word is, Serena van der Woodsen tangoed in the New Year in the plazas of Buenos Aires. Guess that means Lonely Boy was all alone when the clock tolled twelve. And what of Little J? Rumor is she’s trading runways for hallways. So long high fashion, hello high school. Blair Waldorf has been spotted making inroads at The Colony Club. With high school nearing its end, has Queen B. found a new social ladder to climb? So the only real question remaining: Where in the world is Chuck Bass? And is he ever coming back?

Blair: It’s a New Year, Dorota. Time to focus on a new, unencumbered, future. {sees the text from Jack} Then again. To deny one’s past is to deny oneself.

Eric: So you really haven’t thought about it? Jenny!
Jenny: Yeah?
Eric: I asked if you’re nervous about Penelope and the mean girls.
Jenny: Please. Eric, really. In the last four months I’ve faced down Eleanor Waldorf, I’ve hijacked a society gala, had my entire collection torched by a crazy model and was basically homeless. So I can handle high school.

Eric: So Nelly Yuki is the new old Jenny Humphrey.

Jack Bass (Desmond Harrington): Blair. You came to greet us.
Blair: Not you, Jack. Chuck. You said you found him.
Jack: In Bangkok. He was staying at our hotel there. I mean, you hear the term “den of iniquity” but to really see it—
Blair: Do you have him or not?
Jack: Nephew mine, vous etes arrivés! {Jack and the chauffeur pull Chuck out of the limo} Tell his teacher’s he’ll be taking a personal day.
Blair to Dorota: Why are you following me? Go home and get ready for my party.

Dan: Hey. You’re back.
Serena: Yeah. Just. I literally drove here from the airport.
Dan: Well you look tan.
Serena: Well it is summer in Buenos Aires.
Dan: That’s right. Southern hemisphere—
Serena: I broke up with Aaron.
Dan: Oh. When?
Serena: About three hours after we left New York. Which was maybe not the brightest idea on a fifteen hour flight. When I landed I got an email from my mom saying her and your dad weren’t going to be together now or ever.
Dan: I know. I tried calling you before you left. If you knew… I mean you could have called or emailed. Of course unless you didn’t want to.
Serena: No. I needed to make sure that when the dust settled that we still felt the same.
Dan: And do you?
Serena: Yes. Do you? Dan kisses her.

Gossip Girl: Spotted: S. and Lonely Boy kicking off the New Year like it’s last year. Who knows, maybe third time’s a charm. But let’s not break out the bubbly just yet.

Serena: Hey, did Jack ever find Chuck?
Blair: Yeah. What was left of him. I’m surprised they made it through customs. Chuck’s body odor could have given a contact high to half of Manhattan. S. I have to tell you something. I did something so stupid.
Serena: B., what is it?
Blair: I told Chuck I loved him.
Serena: Oh my gosh! That’s great!
Blair: Great? No, it’s awful. Not only did he not say it back but he disappeared. For a month. I could just go back and strangle myself as the words come out.
Serena: I’m sure Chuck will say it back. He was probably thinking about you the whole time he was gone.
Blair: Not unless I was a Thai hooker named Beau. There’s something else.
Dan: Hey.
Serena: Oh. Hey, this is my news. When I was in Buenos Aires I—
Blair: A postcard would have been fine. I’m really happy for you. I’m going to go vomit now.

Lily: Hello Rufus.
Rufus: Lily.
Lily: How was your—
Rufus: I want to know where my child is.
Lily: We already talked about that.
Rufus: Do you realize I had to say “my child” because I don’t know if it’s a boy or girl?
Lily: I shouldn’t have come.
Rufus: I just spent the last two weeks knocking on the door of every adoption agency in Boston, hoping to avoid this conversation. But they all told me I had to ask the mother. So i’m asking.
Lily: I told you before Christmas, when I gave him up—
Rufus: So it’s a boy. That’s something I guess.
Lily: —I also gave up the right to go looking for him. And I’m not going to allow you to bulldoze into his life. It’s not fair.
Rufus: How is that fair to me? When was I asked if I was okay with it? This is just you not wanting anyone to find out.
Lily: Oh no, I’ve given up on that. Charles already knows, although I actually believe he won’t say anything.
Rufus: I have a right to know my son.
Lily: And he has a right to his own life. Just like you’ve had yours.
Rufus: I was going to be a rock star, remember? Instead I had two kids. And I was there to take them to school every morning and talk about their days at night. And if someone came to me and said I could trade that for the life I wanted when I was nineteen, I wouldn’t. Being a father’s who I am. Don’t take that away.
Lily: I’m sorry, I can’t.
Rufus: Then I’ll find him without your help.

Jenny: They treat her like their servant.
Eric: And it is none of your business. It’s a new year, remember? New leaf, new Jenny Humphrey.
Penelope (Amanda Setton) proffering a scuffed shoe: Um, Nelly. {Nelly cleans her shoe}
Jenny: Okay, no. That’s not okay.
Eric: And here we go.

Hazel (Drama Walker): Do you know what you’re doing, Little J?
Jenny: I’m not Little J. anymore.
Nelly (Yin Chang): Thank you so much.
Jenny pushing her out the door: Just keep walking.
Penelope: Hazel. Clean my shoe!

Blair: You want to get kicked out?
Chuck: Hello to you too, lover. Long time no see.
Blair: Put that out!
Chuck: You didn’t say the magic word.
Blair: What are you even doing here? You should be passed out. Or hooked up to an IV.
Chuck: I didn’t want to miss the first day of school. Oh, it looks like I already did.
Blair: That’s the reason you came here. Not because you had something to tell me?
Chuck: Like what?
Blair: You know “like what.” {grabbing his face} Look at me. Who are you?

Rufus to Dan about Serena: I’m telling you, this is a mistake.

Headmistress Queller (Linda Emond): Miss Waldorf, this is not normal.
Blair: Headmistress Queller, Chuck is in no state to represent himself and as Mrs. Bass is—
Chuck: Van der Woodsen. My father’s dead.
Blair: —is indisposed with grief, someone has to be here. So I am.
Jack: Sorry I’m late. Jack Bass, Chuck’s uncle. How are ya?
Chuck: Uncle Jack. What a surprise. How’ve you been?
Jack: Uh huh. So you don’t remember our rickshaw ride down Ceylon Road? The fifteen hour flight?
Chuck: That was you?
Jack: Yeah. That was me.
Blair: Thank you, Jack. But I’ve got this covered.
Jack: I figured Principal’s Office, one needs a parent or a guardian. Parents being dead—sorry Chuck—I’m the closest thing. So what seems to be the problem?
Queller: I found Charles smoking marijuana on school property.
Chuck: It was hash, actually. I find it gives a softer high.
Jack: Right. ponders that. The evidence seems questionable.
Blair: Would you stop? I think we can all agree that Charles has been through an ordeal. He’s clearly out of his right mind and can’t be held responsible for his actions. It’s temporary insanity. Headmistress, no court can find him guilty of a crime. How can we?
Queller: Mr. Bass has been through a lot. Do you promise me that nothing like this will never happen again?
Gossip Girl: Pop quiz: What do you get when you cross Chuck Bass, a billion dollars, and Bart cold in the ground?
Chuck: For you, Headmistress, anything.
Gossip Girl: Freefall.
Chuck: Everyone. It has been a pleasure. {takes out another hash cigarette}
Jack: So what kinda suspension we lookin’ at?

Jenny: Dad, Serena is like the best thing that’s ever happened to Dan. She’s smart, she’s funny, and she’s like nine levels hotter than him.
Dan: Thank you. But she’s right.
Jenny: C’mon, get on board. Dan-Serena, Dan-Serena, woo! Okay, Dad is not into cheering.
Dan: Am I really supposed to pretend that this has nothing to do with what happened between you and Lily before Christmas?
Jenny: Wait. What happened with him and Lily? What happened between you and Lily?
Rufus: None of your business.
Dan: Oh, so you can tell me not to date Serena but I can’t say anything about you and Lily?
Jenny: Him and Lilly what? Somebody, please.
Rufus: I think you need to leave for school.
Dan: Oh you’re not going to walk me today? I’m heartbroken.
Jenny: Okay, Dad. Seriously?
Rufus: You’re going to be late.
Jenny: No, I’m not. Yes I am.

Jenny: Nelly has put in a full year of service. She should be allowed to leave without reprisals. For example, people breaking into her locker and smashing her glasses.
Blair: I see. Rebuttal.
Penelope: First, there’s been a long tradition of newer members being subjected to more… attention.
Hazel: Some of the things I had to do? Disgusting!
Blair: Oh I remember. I made you do them.
Penelope: But more importantly, once people find out you can quit, the girls at the steps will be finished.
Jenny: C’mon, Blair. What’s your decision?
Blair: Tonight I’m hosting the selection committee at The Colony Club.
Iz: You’re getting into The Colony Club? They never take girls from high school.
Blair: I know. I was surprised too. That’s not entirely true. The point is, enough of this high school nonsense. Nelly or no Nelly, who cares? I have enough going on already. God!

Iz (Nicole Fiscella): Blair’s leaving us behind. It’s like the end of an era.
Penelope: We’re more than any one member. And the only way Nelly is leaving, is in a body bag.
Hazel: God. P. Tone down the crazy.

Blair: I need to talk to you.
Dan: And I’m— I’ll see you later.
Blair: Have you seen Chuck today?
Serena: No. Why?
Blair: Did he come home last night?
Serena: Blair, I don’t know. What’s wrong?
Blair: Yesterday Queller caught him smoking hash at school. There was a meeting. And to say it went badly would be an understatement. I’m worried.
Serena: Blair, it’s Chuck. He’s somewhere blowing off steam. That’s what he does. He’ll show up in a few days minus several million brain cells and some liver tissue.
Blair: That’s true. He always disappeared. Marrakesh. Prague. And he always came back. Tie perfectly knotted. But this time I looked in his eyes. I couldn’t see him anymore.
Serena: You’re really worried. Okay, um, okay. Just give it ’til tonight and if he hasn’t shown up yet I’ll help you.

Iz: So should I keep counting?
Hazel: Oh, shut up, Iz.

Blair: Hello Chuck. I thought I’d find you here.
Chuck: Blair. Ladies, would you give us a moment?
Blair: I thought you sold this place.
Chuck: Bought it back last night. Owner took me to the cleaners. Some things are worth the price.
Blair: You should go home. Lily, Serena, Eric—
Chuck: Is not my home. Or my family.
Blair: Fine. Go to The Palace. Just get outta here.
Chuck: Oh that would be rude. Since I’m throwing a party here tonight. I just posted it on Gossip Girl. Maybe you’ll grace us with a dance.
Blair: Chuck. Stop. All this doesn’t help. It isn’t you.
Chuck: Wrong. Bart may have been a bastard, but he saw me better than anyone. I’m simply living up to my potential. It’s time to let go of your fantasies.
Blair: I don’t believe you.
Chuck: That’s your business. Now is that it? Or were you going to tell me you loved me again?
Blair: Why did you even come back?

Serena: I don’t see why I had to come. He doesn’t want me here.
Dan: I figured he’s less likely to murder me with witnesses.
Serena: Yeah, that makes sense.

Gossip Girl: New Year, but same old story. The darkest secrets are always the ones that hit closest to home.

Rufus: Dan if you’re here to argue—
Dan: What were you looking for in Boston? I know it’s not a painter, and I know it’s not a sculptor or…. whatever story it was that you couldn’t keep straight.
Rufus: Hang on, how did— ? Did Chuck Bass say something to you?
Dan: Chuck Ba— What? So you’re telling me Chuck Bass knows something about our life that I don’t know?
Rufus: I can’t talk to you about this right now.
Dan: You know, if it was just your life I would say fine. But it’s not. It’s mine and it’s Serena’s. I think we have a right to know.
Rufus: I agree, but there are other people involved.
Dan: Let me take a wild guess and say Lily.
Rufus: Just give me a day. There’s a right way for all of us to talk about this.
Dan: Yeah. We’re past that.

Serena: Hey, is everything okay? I came as fast as I could.
Blair: Fine. False alarm.
Serena: Wait. What happened?
Blair: Chuck. He’s holed up at Victrola in some Jim Morrison downward spiral. Sad in a way. Luckily, it’s not my concern. Thank you for coming. Dorota! I think my guests from The Colony Club are here.
Serena: Wait. If Chuck is really in trouble then we need to help him. He doesn’t have any brothers and sisters. We are all he has. You are all he has.
Blair: He doesn’t want my help.
Serena: So that’s just it? You’re going to abandon him for some society matrons?
Blair: Those “matrons” as you call them, are helping me build a life. All Chuck can do is destroy one. I’m not abandoning Chuck. I’m just saving myself.

Chuck: That’s the problem with an open invitation. Can’t keep out the hoi polloi.
Dan: What do you know about my dad and Lily?
Chuck: So the cat’s out of the bag.
Dan: I found some numbers. My dad was supposed to be in Boston, looking for an artist. He was apparently visiting some orphanages.
Chuck: How Dickensian.
Dan: Chuck, I need to know this.
Chuck: You know the funny thing is, I was going to keep Lily’s secret. You buried the arson story on my dad. This makes us even. You’re not the firstborn Humphrey. So if you were planning on inheriting the family estate. I’d make other arrangements.
Dan: That’s not possible. I mean my dad’s—
Chuck: Lily and her mother kept it a secret. Gave the kid away. I imagine your dad just found out. And now there’s only one more person to tell. Of course as soon as you do it’s over between you, isn’t it? Sharing a sibling? It’s a bit much. Even for me.

Gossip Girl: Spotted at Victrola: Lonely Boy and Chuck Bass, having a heart-to-heart. What or who do they have to talk about? And will Serena be the last to know?

Blair: I have to go. That piece of work, Chuck Bass, needs me. And Serena and her mother are kind, wonderful people.
Colony Member: Blair, do you know what you’re doing?
Blair: I thought I was leaving high school behind. I guess you never do. Dorota will get your coats.

Eric: Welcome back. How was Thailand?
Chuck: I honestly don’t remember.
Eric: You should come home, Chuck.
Chuck: I think I’ll take the view from above. It was nice having you as my little brother.

Penelope: Eric, where’s Little J? I imagine cleaning out her locker.
Jenny: Actually, I just got done writing a Gossip Girl post. Seeing how Penelope, for the past six months you’ve been having an affair with your dad’s junior partner. And Hazel. You got drunk and hooked up with your cousin. Twice.
Hazel: Oh my god.
Jenny: And Isabel. Do I even have to say?
Iz: No.
Penelope: Those things were told to you in confidence.
Jenny: More like stupidity. And unless you tell your parents to back off, I hit send.
Penelope: Duh. You win.
Jenny: I know.

Nelly: Okay, big miscalculation. See, I kinda thought coming back to school you did want to be queen.
Eric: Oh, that’s not good.
Nelly: And I was never going to move past Hazel and Iz. But I thought maybe if there was a new regime—
Jenny: Wait. You played me? You? Nelly Yuki?

Lily: Rufus. Your message said it was urgent. Has something happened?
Rufus: Dan knows. Or he doesn’t yet. But I think he will soon. And I imagine he’ll tell Serena. And I thought you should know.
Lily: Rufus, wait. What will they think of me?
Rufus: Serena and Eric? Well it’s not my problem. We’re each on our own, remember?
Lily: But you already hate me. What if they hate me too? I gave away their brother. I wasn’t ready. I was young and scared. Heartbroken over you. And Cece kept pressuring me. The truth is, I wasn’t ready to have a baby. And it’s been a hole in my life ever since.
Rufus: I understand why you gave him up. But it’s that you didn’t tell me.
Lily: Rufus, please.
Rufus: I don’t hate you, Lil. As much as I want to. Neither will your kids. But you’ve had twenty years to make peace with this. It’s going to take me some time.
Lily: What do you want to know?

Gossip Girl: One thing about being on top of the world? It gives you a long, long way to fall.

Jack: Chuck!
Blair: No! You idiot! You don’t surprise someone standing off the edge of a building!
Jack: Chuck. Come away from there. Let’s go down and join the party.
Chuck: I was at the party. I’m not really that into it.
Jack: Chuck, your father wouldn’t have wanted this.
Chuck: Dear old Dad? Unfortunately all I know is what he didn’t want. Which is me. I’m Chuck Bass! No one cares.
Blair: I do. Don’t you understand? I’ll always be here. I don’t want you going anywhere. I couldn’t bear it. So whatever you want to do to yourself, please don’t do it to me. Please.
Chuck: I’m sorry.
Blair: It’s okay.

Serena: Hey, whatever it is, you can tell me.
Dan: No, I know. But it’s our parents. They— his phone rings.

Blair: So you know, I don’t trust you.
Jack: All I want is what’s best for my nephew. And as for trusting me, do you really have a choice?
Blair: He can’t know what happened on New Years.
Jack: Goodnight Blair.

Gossip Girl: Ah me. The year’s scarcely turned and already the secrets have begun. Where will it end this time? The New Year isn’t about what’s happened. It’s about what’s to come. But the past is always with us. Just waiting to mess with the present. And when it does, I’ll be watching. XOXO —Gossip Girl.