Gossip Girl Season 5

G.G.

2012.01.30    

Hugo Becker  Joanne Whalley  John Shea  Marc Menard  Margaret Colin  Michelle Trachtenberg  Wallace Shawn

Gossip Girl: Wakey wakey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite. It seems like today is a big day for everyone. But none so much as me.

Gossip Girl: Once upon a time Princess B was a virgin Queen, and her King was named Archibald. Who would have thought that in just five short years she could turn that headband into a tiara for real. I myself have come a long way too. But if you think I have spent all my recent downtime reflecting on who I am and what I’ve done in those same five years, let me assure you, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I was just planning my comeback. So if I were you, I’d watch this space. Because the new Gossip Girl is coming. And what will my first post be? All I can is you should probably pray I won’t be writing about you.

Dan: Once Blair and Louis say, “I do” then Serena and I can say we don’t anymore and go back to just being friends.
Rufus: Well at the very least this whole thing is probably a distraction from any Graduate thoughts you might have.
Dan: With Blair? No, any thoughts of her running off with me are long gone. If anyone’s in danger of pulling a Braddock, it’s not me, it’s Chuck.

Louis (Hugo Becker): You don’t have to worry anymore because the brand new positive image of the Monaco royal family is intact.
Princess Sophie (Joanne Whalley): And Blair is transformed into the most advantageous partner. The press took to her in the wake of the unfortunate incident. I couldn’t have hoped for a more perfect arrangement.
Louis: I can’t believe you’re talking this way on the day of my wedding. My relationship with Blair is not a business deal.
Princess Sophia: But all relationships are business. Sometimes if you are lucky you have love and that is a bonus. Let us hope that you stay lucky.

Harold Waldorf (John Shea): It’s been a long time since we danced.
Eleanor Waldorf (Margaret Colin): I’m game if you are. As long as you don’t show me up like the last time.

Cyrus Rose (Wallace Shawn): Hey, she’s here! The Princess Bride!

Vizzini: Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is, “Never get involved in a land war in Asia.”

Dan: “Mrs. Grimaldi”? What is going on, is this happening?
Serena: Well it better be, otherwise all those commemorative plates are for nothing.

Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg): The bitch got me remanded to rehab, banished from Bible camp and abandoned in Belarus all for her own enjoyment.

Father Cavalia (Marc Menard): What did you do?
Chuck: Well I’m just guessing, but it’s possible the water I’ve been continuously pouring for you all morning came from the tap at the Bass Resort in Mexico. You see, I can’t allow you to destroy Blair’s wedding. You think because I love her I want her all to myself, but I’m not that man anymore. I just want her to be happy. And if marrying Louis will do that for her, then that’s what’s going to happen.

Dan: Who was that?
Nate: Someone I should have remembered. Maybe that’s my issue. I’m paying too much attention to the wrong girls and not enough to the right ones.
Dan: Well if we’re listing your issues I’m not sure I’d start with that one.

Serena: How does it feel to have everything you’ve ever wanted?
Blair: You tell me. I saw you with Humphrey this morning. Has all that fake connection sparked a real one?
Serena: Not exactly.
Blair: Serena van der Woodsen! You didn’t tell him I said you could stop pretending?
Serena: I just thought, what’s the harm in waiting until the wedding?
Blair: The harm is that you are falling further while he has little to no clue.
Serena: No one is falling anywhere.
Blair: I saw how you were looking at him this morning.

Eleanor: I know I said once that you would never be as pretty as when you were young, but you get prettier every day.

Chuck: Mrs. Waldorf, what are you—
Eleanor: —am I doing here. I’ve been asking myself the same question the whole ride over. Do you have something to drink?
Chuck: Of course. Sparkling or still?
Eleanor: Scotch. {she downs his drink}

Eleanor: I don’t want my daughter to have to wait for a second chance to be happy. She should be happy the first time around.
Chuck: What are you saying?
Eleanor: All day long I have had this feeling that I had forgotten something and then I realized what it was. You. So. Are you coming to stop this thing or what?

Lily: When Rufus said he saw you I knew it must be true.
Rufus: Crashing one wedding wasn’t enough for you?
Georgina: I didn’t crash, I was invited. My invitation just got lost in the mail. I do live in Brooklyn now, after all. I mean it’s practically the Falklands.

Blair: What are you doing here?
Chuck: Trust me, the last thing I wanted to do was show up today but even your own mother seems to think we need to talk.
Blair: Well what I need is for you to—
Chuck: Don’t marry him.
Blair: Chuck.
Chuck: Don’t marry him.
Blair: All those people out there are waiting for me.
Chuck: Yes they are. But they also want you to be happy, which you’re not going to be if you go through with this. Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll leave. You can’t. Because it should be us out there and you know it.
Blair: It isn’t that simple.
Chuck: It’s only that simple. You told me you loved me. I know it was true.
Blair: It is! Of course I love you, Chuck. I’ve always loved you. I love you more and more every day if it’s even possible to love someone that much.
Chuck: Get out of here with me right now. We can go anywhere just as long as we’re together.
Blair: I know you can’t understand, and I don’t expect you to, but even if I weren’t with Louis… I couldn’t be with you. Just know that not living with you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But at least I have someone who loves me by my side. You should find someone who loves you too.
Chuck: I have. She’s standing right in front of me.
Blair: I know it sounds crazy, but I really am doing this for you.

Serena: B, are you sure you feel right about all this? Because I am totally prepared to make a run for it with you if that’s what you want.
Blair: I have made peace with my decision. And so should everyone else.

Serena: I know that it scares you and I know that it’s a risk, but don’t enter into a false life just because you’re scared to face the real one.

Blair: Despite everyone’s protestations I’m going through with this. Serena, will you please tell everyone I’m ready to begin.

Serena: Chuck, wait.
Chuck: Don’t worry. I’m leaving.
Serena: No, that’s not what I was going to say. You need to know something. Something that if Blair knew I was telling you she’d probably never speak to me again.

Cyrus: Blair, my little turtledove. What’s the emergency?
Blair: I need another escort.

Cyrus: What’s going on? You have an escort—your father.
Blair: Oh Cyrus. One escort is not enough. I need both of you to walk me down the aisle.

Serena: I think I may have just done something really bad.
Dan: What’d you do?

Gossip Girl: If no one else is willing to say it, I guess I have to. The person who should be objecting isn’t Chuck Bass, but the bride herself. Don’t believe me? Watch this. Told you my first post was worth waiting for. Now what will my next one be?

Chuck: Blair, you can’t honestly believe—
Blair: What? Can’t honestly believe that you were dead? Because you were. And you weren’t coming back. The only thing I knew I could do in that moment was to find a way to try and save your life, whatever it took. Even though I knew that, once I did, you would never stop trying to ruin mine. So. The truth is out. But that doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere with you.

Serena: You expect us to believe you were just an innocent bystander?
Georgina: I never said I was innocent. I just like to watch. And while I love our annual showdowns as much as anybody, if you’re looking for someone to blame for what just happened you’ve got the wrong girl.
Serena: Come on, Georgina.
Georgina: Sure I made the video Gossip Girl played, but I didn’t send it in. I left my camera with Chuck thinking he’d show the Prince and they’d have a duel at dawn for what’s left of Blair’s virtue. Or maybe some royal fisticuffs. Whatever those are.

Serena: About before—
Dan: Oh, you mean what Georgina said? Forget it, she’s crazy.
Serena: No, I owe you an explanation.
Dan: Okay. Go ahead.
Serena: I’m sorry I lied and made you carry on our… whatever it was longer than we had to.

Serena: Nate was right about grand gestures. We all need to make them in our lives. So here’s mine: I love you, Dan Humphrey. Always have, always will.
Dan: Serena.
Serena: No. You don’t have to respond now.

Blair: Thank you for giving me another chance. Louis, the champagne hasn’t gone to my head. I’m too high for it to reach me. We’ve made it. Finally.
Louis: So we did.
Blair: What is it, mon chere? Did I miss a step?
Louis: I promised my mother I’d wait until we were on the plane, but I can’t any longer.
Blair: Wait for what?
Louis: Today, with the eyes of the world on us, I had no choice but to stand by your side after your public apology. But that was it. From this moment forward there is nothing between us but a contract. Our marriage is all for show. And you’re going to put on the best damn show anyone has.

Blair: But what about everything we’ve been through? All those beautiful vows you said in front of God and everyone. Those can’t just have stopped being true.
Louis: I didn’t write them. Dan did. And now they mean nothing to me.
Blair: But why, why would you want to be married to someone you didn’t love?
Louis: My mother told me love had nothing to do with marriage. Now I know she was right.

Gossip Girl: Weddings mark one of the largest transitions you can make in your life. They are a new beginning. The next step in a person’s evolution. But evolving is a tricky thing. You can’t change without changing the world around you.

Blair: It’s me. I made a horrible mistake. I don’t know what to do. Help me. Please.

Gossip Girl: And not everyone might see your transformation the same way you do. But if you can make it through and truly be reborn then maybe so can I. So beginning today the past is just a prologue. It all starts from here.

Dan: This was the only car with the keys in it.
Blair: That’s fine. Just go.

Gossip Girl: Oh, and if you’re wondering who caught the bouquet, I’ll never tell. XOXO —Gossip Girl.