Serena: Dear S by S readers, it looks like spring has finally sprung. And lucky for us, one thing that hasn’t yet popped up is Gossip Girl. Hopefully my family’s unfortunate exile to Brooklyn will pass quietly and with dignity.
Lola (Ella Rae Peck): All I want to do is figure out if I fit into this family but I don’t know how to do that in the middle of a war with Ivy.
Welcome to your future as Gossip Girl 3.0. I wouldn’t tell anyone you have this. Trust me, anonymity is key. And don’t pretend you’re not intrigued. We all know there’s only one Upper East Side blogger that matters, and it’s not S by S. The power is now in your hands. Your old friend G. Singular.
PS: Keep the password to yourself!
I just had an interesting conversation with Nate.
Jack Bass (Desmond Harrington): It’s about time he confessed his true feelings for you.
Gossip Girl: Let’s hope that good flings come to those who wait.
Gossip Girl: Tick tock, Upper East Siders. This time bomb is about to send Ivy’s party up in smoke.
Dorota: It take honest communication to turn Vanya from boy to man in bedroom.
Blair: I’m going to need another drink to forget I just heard that.
Dorota: You looking for answer in wrong borough. You need to talk to Mr. Lonely Boy.
Blair: Fine. But I’m going to need a stronger buzz to enter Ivy’s party.
Blair: This elevator’s so slow. It feels like it’s not even moving.
Dan: Did you push the button?
Blair: I thought you did. You are wasted.
Dan: This elevator smells like vodka.
Blair: Vodka doesn’t smell! And you are drunker than I am. And I can tell by the fact that you are not hyper verbal that you are avoiding something.
Dan: Well I can tell by the fact that you drank vodka that you are too.
Dan: Before we break up, I just wanted to let you know that you were really really good in my head.
Blair: I am really good out of it too.
Dan: Oh, I don’t think so.
Blair: Fine. I will prove it to you.
Jack: I’d like to think of myself as the Magic Johnson of hep C.
Gossip Girl: Looks like Lola’s untangled some knots. To form family ties.
Gossip Girl: Spring is the season of rebirth. A time for change. A time to reblossom. But there are always late bloomers. And some buds are nipped before they can grow. New relationships flourish and take on new form. While old relationships can be reexamined. But some things never change. This is the Upper East Side in case you forgot.
Gossip Girl: I read your blog, and while you do a pretty good me, you’re not the real deal. So if you’ll just hand oer the password, I’d like my site back. XOXO — Gossip Girl.