Doctor Who Series 5

The Big Bang

2010.06.26    

Barnaby Edwards  Caitlin Blackwood  Susan Vidler

1,894 years later…

Amelia Pond (Caitlin Blackwood): Dear Santa, Thank you for the dolls and pencils and the fish. It’s Easter now, so I hope I didn’t wake you. But honest, it is an emergency. There’s a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it’s just an ordinary crack but I know it’s not, ’cause at night there’s voices. So please, please could you send someone to fix it? Or a policeman… or… {hears something outside.} Back in a moment. {she looks out the window but there’s nothing there}

Therapist: It’s a lovely painting, Amelia. And what are all these?
Amelia: Stars.
Aunt Sharon (Susan Vidler): Oh Amelia.

Therapist: What do you see, Amelia?
Amelia: The moon.
Therapist: And what else?
Amelia: Just the dark.
Therapist: But no stars. If there were stars up there we’d be able to see them, wouldn’t we? Amelia, look at me. You know this is all just a story, don’t you? You know there’s no such thing as stars.

Aunt Sharon: Amelia’s a really good girl. This is starting to worry me.
Therapist: It’s quite common, actually. Throughout history people have talked about seeing stars in the sky. […]
Aunt Sharon: I just don’t want her growing up and joining one of those star cults. I don’t trust that Richard Dawkins.

Note on the brochure: Come along, Pond

Note on the Pandorica: Stick around, Pond

Amelia tipping over stuffed penguins: Sorry.

Amelia touches the Pandorica, which starts to glow and opens to reveal:
Amy: Okay, kid. This is where it gets complicated.

1,894 years previously…

Rory: So the Universe ended. You missed that. 102 A.D. I suppose this means you and I never get born at all. Twice in my case. You would have laughed at that. Please laugh. The Doctor said the Universe was huge and ridiculous and sometimes there were miracles. I could do with a ridiculous miracle about now. {The Doctor suddenly appears in a fez holding a mop}.
The Doctor: Rory! Listen, she’s not dead. Well, she is dead but it’s not the end of the world. Well it is the end of the world. Actually it’s the end of the Universe. Oh no. Hold on. {pops back} You need to get me out of the Pandorica.
Rory: But you’re not in the Pandorica.
The Doctor: Yes I am. Well I’m not now but I was back then. Well. Back now from your point of view. Which is back then from my point of view. Time travel, you can’t keep it straight in your head. It’s easy to open from the outside. Just point and press. Now go. {He disappears… and reappears.} Oh, and when you’re done leave my screwdriver in her top pocket. Good luck.
Rory: What d’you mean? Done what?

The Doctor: How did you do that?
Rory: You gave me this.
The Doctor: No I didn’t.
Rory: You did. Look at it.
The Doctor: Temporal energy. Same screwdriver at different points in its own time stream. Which means it was me who gave it to you. Me from the future. I’ve got a future. That’s nice. {he sees the Daleks} That’s not.
Rory: Yeah. What are they?
The Doctor: History has collapsed. Whole races have been deleted from existence. These are just like after-images. Echoes. Fossils in time. The footprints of the Neverwere.
Rory: Uh. What does that mean?
The Doctor: Total event collapse. The Universe literally never happened.
Rory: So how can we be here? What’s keeping us safe?
The Doctor: Nothing. Eye of the Storm, that’s all. We’re just the last light to go out. Amy. Where’s Amy?
Rory: I killed her.
The Doctor: Oh Rory.

Rory: Doctor, what am I?
The Doctor: You’re a Nestene duplicate. A lump of plastic with delusions of humanity.
Rory: But I’m Rory now. Whatever’s happening, it stopped. I’m Rory!
The Doctor: That’s software talking.
Rory: Can you help her, is there anything you can do?
The Doctor: Yeah, probably, if I had the time.
Rory: The time?!?
The Doctor: All of Creation has just been wiped from the sky. Do you now know how many lives now never happened? All the people who never lived. Your girlfriend isn’t more important than the whole Universe.
Rory: She is to me! {he hits him}
The Doctor: Welcome back, Rory Williams! Sorry. Had to be sure. Hell of a gun arm you’re packing on you there. Right, we need to get her downstairs. And take that look off your plastic face. You’re getting married in the morning.

Rory: So… you’ve got a plan then?
The Doctor: Bit of a plan, yeah. Memory’s more powerful than you think and Amy Pond is not an ordinary girl. Grew up with a time crack in her wall, the Universe pouring through her dreams every night. The Nestene took a memory print of her and got a bit more than they bargained for. Like you. Not just your face but your heart, your soul. I’m leaving her a message for when she wakes up so she knows what’s happening. {he closes her in the Pandorica}
Rory: Woah woah woah. What are you doing?
The Doctor: I’m saving her. This is the ultimate prison. You can’t even escape it by dying. It forces you to stay alive.
Rory: But she’s already dead.
The Doctor: Well she’s mostly dead. The Pandorica can stasis-lock her that way. All it needs now is a scan of her living DNA and it’ll restore her.
Rory: Where’s it gonna get that?
The Doctor checking his watch: In about two thousand years.

The Doctor: She’ll be fine. Nothing can get into this box.
Rory: Well. You got in there.
The Doctor: Well there’s only one of me. I counted.
Rory: This box needs a guard. I killed the last one.
The Doctor: No. Rory, no. Don’t even think about it.
Rory: She’ll be all alone.
The Doctor: She won’t feel it.
Rory: Yeah, you bet she won’t.
The Doctor: Two thousand years, Rory. You won’t even sleep. You’ll be conscious every second. It would drive you mad.
Rory: Will she be safer if I stay? Look me in the eye and tell me she wouldn’t be safer.
The Doctor: Rory, you—
Rory: Answer me!
The Doctor: Yes. Obviously.
Rory: Then how could I leave her?
The Doctor: Why do you have to be so… human?
Rory: Because right now I’m not.

The Doctor: Listen to me. This is the last bit of advice you’re going to get in a very long time. You’re living plastic but you’re not immortal. I have no idea how long you’ll last. And you’re not indestructible. Stay away from heat. And radio signals when they come along. You can’t heal or repair yourself. Any damage is permanent. So for God’s sake, however bored you get, stay out of—

According to legend, wherever the Pandorica was taken, throughout its long history, the Centurion would be there guarding it. He appears as an iconic image in the artwork of many cultures. And there are several documented accounts of his appearances. And his warnings to the many who attempted to open the box before its time. His last recorded appearance was during the London Blitz in 1941. The warehouse where the Pandorica was stored was destroyed by incendiary bombs. But the box itself was found the next morning a safe distance from the blaze. There are eyewitness accounts from the night of the fire of a figure in Roman dress carrying the box from the flames. Since then, there have been no sightings of the Lone Centurion. And many have speculated that if he ever existed, he perished in the fires of that night, performing one last act of devotion to the box he had pledged to protect for nearly two thousand years.

Amy: Rory. Oh Rory.
Dalek: Exterminate! Exterminate!
Amelia: What’s that?
The Doctor: Trouble! Oh. Ah! Two of you. Complicated.
Dalek: Exterminate! Weapon systems restoring.
The Doctor: Come along, Ponds.
Amy: What are we doing?
The Doctor: Well we are running into a dead end where I’m going to have a brilliant plan that basically involves not being in one.

The Doctor: Well. Somebody didn’t get out much for two thousand years.
Amelia: I’m thirsty—can I get a drink?
The Doctor: Oh, it’s all mouths today isn’t it.

The Doctor: Light. The light from the Pandorica. It must have hit the Dalek.

The Doctor: So. Two thousand years. How did you do?
Rory: Kept out of trouble.
The Doctor: How?
Rory: Unsuccessfully.

Amy: How are you doing that?
The Doctor: Vortex manipulator. Cheap and nasty time travel. Very bad for you. I’m trying to give it up.

Amy: Is he dead?
The Doctor: Wha- ? Dead? Yes yes. Of course he’s dead. Right! I’ve got twelve minutes. That’s good.
Amy: Twelve minutes to live. How is that good?
The Doctor: Oh, you can do loads in twelve minutes. Suck a mint, buy a sledge, have a fast bath.

The Doctor: History is still collapsing.
Amy: Well how can I still be here if she’s not?
The Doctor: You’re an anomaly. We all are. We’re all just hanging on at the eye of the storm. But the eye is closing. And if we don’t do something fast reality will never have happened. Today, just dying is a result.
Amy: He won’t die. Time can be rewritten. He’ll find a way. I know he will. {Rory covers him with his jacket}

Amy: What, it’s morning already. How did that happen?
The Doctor: History is shrinking. Is anybody listening to me? The Universe is collapsing. We don’t have much time left.
Rory: What are you doing?
The Doctor: Looking for the TARDIS.
Rory: But the TARDIS exploded.
The Doctor: Okay, then I’m looking for an exploding TARDIS.
Amy: I don’t understand. So the TARDIS blew up and took the Universe with it. But why would it do that? How?
The Doctor: Good question for another day. The question for now is, total event collapse means that every star in the Universe never happened. Not one single one of them ever shone, so if all the stars that ever were are gone then what—{he indicates a huge fireball in the sky}—is that? Like I said, I’m looking for an exploding TARDIS.
Rory: But that’s the sun.
The Doctor: Is it? Well here’s the noise that sun is making right now. That’s my TARDIS burning up. That’s what’s been keeping the Earth warm.
Rory: Doctor, there’s something else. There’s a voice.
Amy: I can’t hear anything.
Rory: Trust the plastic.
River: I’m sorry my love. I’m sorry my love.
Amy: Doctor, that’s River. How can she be up there?
Rory: Must be like a recording or something.
The Doctor: No, it’s not a recording. Of course. The emergency protocols. The TARDIS has sealed off the control room and put her into a time loop to save her. She is right at the heart of the explosion.

The Doctor: Hi honey. I’m home.
River: And what sort of time do you call this?

River: Amy! And the plastic Centurion?
The Doctor: It’s okay. He’s on our side.
River: Really?
The Doctor: Yep.
River: I dated a Nestene duplicate once. Swappable head. Did keep things fresh. Right then! I have questions. But number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
The Doctor: It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool. {Amy grabs the fez off his head and throws it in the air so River can shoot it}

The Doctor: It needs to restore its power before it can attack again. Now. That means we’ve got exactly… four and a half minutes before it’s at lethal capacity.
Rory: How do you know?
The Doctor: Because that’s when it’s due to kill me.
River: Kill you? What do you mean, kill you?
The Doctor: Oh shut up! Never mind!

The Doctor: How can that Dalek even exist? It was erased from time and then it came back. How?
Amy: You said the light from the Pandorica.
The Doctor: It’s not a light, it’s a restoration field, but never mind! Call it a light. That light brought Amy back, restored her. But how could it bring back a Dalek when the Daleks have never existed?
Amy: Okay. Tell us.
The Doctor: When the TARDIS blew up it caused a total event collapse—a time explosion. And that explosion blasted every atom in every moment of the Universe except…
Amy: Except inside the Pandorica.
The Doctor: The perfect prison. And inside it perfectly preserved a few billion atoms of the Universe as it was. In theory you could extrapolate the whole Universe from a single one of them, like, like cloning a body from a single cell. And we’ve got the bumper family pack.
Rory: Nope. Nope. Too fast. I’m not getting it.
The Doctor: The box contains a memory of the Universe and the light transmits the memory and that’s how we’re going to do it.
Amy: Do what?
The Doctor: Relight the fire. Reboot the Universe. Come on!
River: Doctor, you’re being completely ridiculous. The Pandorica partially restored one Dalek. If it can’t even reboot a single lifeform properly how is it going to reboot the whole of reality?
The Doctor: What if we give it a moment of infinite power? What if we can transmit the light from the Pandorica to every particle of space and time simultaneously?
River: Well that would be lovely, dear, but we can’t. Because it’s completely impossible.
The Doctor: Ah, no. you see. It’s not. It’s almost completely impossible. One spark is all we need.
River: For what?
The Doctor: Big Bang II! Now listen— {the Dalek shoots him in the back}

River: Where did he go? Dammit, he could be anywhere!
Amy: He went downstairs. Twelve minutes ago.
River: Show me!
Amy: River. He died.
Dalek (Barnaby Edwards): Systems restoring. You will be exterminated!
Rory: We’ve got to move. That thing’s coming back to life.
River: You go to the Doctor. I’ll be right with you.

Dalek: You will be exterminated!
River: Not yet. Your systems are still restoring which means your shield density is compromised. One alpha meson burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead.
Dalek: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor’s.
River: I’m River Song. Check your records again.
Dalek: Mercy.
River: Say it again.
Dalek: Mercy!
River: One more time.
Dalek: Mercy!!!

Rory: How could he have moved? He was dead. Doctor! Doctor!
Amy: But he was dead.
River: Who told you that?
Amy: He did.
River: Rule one: the Doctor lies.
Amy: Where’s the Dalek?
River: It died.

Rory: Why did he tell us he was dead?
Amy: We were a diversion. As long as the Dalek was chasing us he could work down here.
River: Doctor, can you hear me? What were you doing?
Rory: What’s happening?
River: Reality’s collapsing. And it’s speeding up. Look at this room.
Rory: Where’d everything go?
River: History’s being erased. Time’s running out. Doctor, what were you doing? Tell us. Doctor!
The Doctor: Big Bang II.
Rory: The Big Bang. That’s the beginning of the Universe, right?

River: The TARDIS is still burning. It’s exploding at every point in history. If you threw the Pandorica into the explosion—right into the heart of the fire…
Amy: Then what?
River: Then “Let there be light.” The light from the Pandorica would explode everywhere at once. Oh! Just like he said.
Amy: And that would work? That would bring everything back?
River: A restoration field powered by an exploding TARDIS happening at every moment in history. Oh, that’s brilliant. It might even work. He’s wired the vortex manipulator to the rest of the box.
Amy: Why?
River: So he can take it with him. He’s going to fly the Pandorica into the heart of the explosion.

Rory: You okay?
Amy: Are you?
Rory: No.
Amy: Well shut up then!

Amy: So what happens here? A Big Bang II—what happens to us?
River: We all wake up where we ought to be. None of this ever happens and we don’t remember it.
Amy: River. Tell me he comes back too.
River: The Doctor will be at the heart of the explosion.
Amy: So?
River: So all the cracks in time will close. But he’ll be on the wrong side. Trapped in the Neverspace—the void between the worlds. All memory of him will be purged from the Universe. He will never have been born. Now please. He wants to talk to you before he goes.
Amy: Not to you?
River: He doesn’t really know me yet. Now he never will.

The Doctor: Amy Pond. The Girl Who Waited. All night in your garden. Was it worth it?
Amy: Shut up. Of course it was.
The Doctor: You asked me why I was taking you with me and I said, “no reason.” I was lying.
Amy: It’s not important.
The Doctor: Yeah, it’s the most important thing left in the Universe. It’s why I’m doing this. Amy, your house is too big. That big, empty house, just you.
Amy: And Aunt Sharon.
The Doctor: Where were your mom and dad? Where was everybody who lived in that big house?
Amy: I lost my mom and dad.
The Doctor: How? What happened to them? Where did they go?
Amy: I— I don’t…
The Doctor: It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t panic. It’s not your fault.
Amy: I don’t even remember.
The Doctor: There’s a crack in time in the wall of your bedroom. And it’s been eating away at your life for a long time now. Amy Pond. All alone. The Girl Who Didn’t Make Sense. How could I resist?
Amy: I’m not going to just
forget.
The Doctor: Nothing is ever forgotten. Not really. But you have to try.
River: Doctor! It’s speeding up!
The Doctor: It’s going to be a very Big Bang, Big Bang II. Try to remember your family and they’ll be there.
Amy: How can I remember them if they never existed?
The Doctor: Because you’re special. That crack in your wall, all that time. The Universe pouring into your head. You brought Rory back. You can bring them back too. You just remember and they’ll be there.
Amy: You won’t.
The Doctor: You’ll have your family back. You won’t need your imaginary friend anymore. Amy Pond. Crying over me, eh? Guess what.
Amy: What?
The Doctor: Gotcha.

River: It’s from the Doctor.

River: “Geronimo.”

The Doctor: Oh. Okay. I escaped then. Brilliant. Love it when I do that. Legs. Yes. Bowtie. Cool. {feels for his hat} I can buy a fez.
The Doctor: Now the beach! The beach is the best. Automatic sand.
Amy: Automatic sand. What does that mean?
The Doctor: It’s automated. Totally. Cleans up the lolly stick {?} by itself.

The Doctor: Oh. No hang on, wait. That’s last week when we went to Space Florida. I’m rewinding. My time stream. Unraveling. Erasing. Closing. Hello Universe. Goodbye Doctor.

The Doctor: Amy. You need to start trusting me. It’s never been more important.
Amy: But you don’t always tell me the truth.
The Doctor: If I always told you the truth I wouldn’t need you to trust me.
Amy: Doctor. The crack in my wall. How can it be here?
The Doctor: I don’t know yet but I’m working it out. Now. Listen. Remember what I told you when you were seven.
Amy: What did you tell me?
The Doctor: No. That’s not the point. You have to remember.
Amy: Remember what? Doctor?

The Doctor: Amelia’s house. When she was seven. The night she waited. The Girl Who Waited. C’mere you.

The Doctor: It’s funny. I thought if you could hear me I could hang on somehow. Silly me. Silly old Doctor. When you wake up you’ll have a mom and dad. And you won’t even remember me. Well. You’ll remember me a little. I’ll be a story in your head. That’s okay. We’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? ‘Cause it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back. Oh that box. Amy, you’ll dream about that box. It’ll never leave you. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient and the bluest blue ever. And the times we had, eh? Woulda had. Never… had. In your dreams they’ll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond. And the days that never came. The cracks are closing. But they can’t close properly ’til I’m on the other side. I don’t belong here anymore. I think I’ll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love Rory. Bye bye, Pond.

Amy: Do you feel like you’ve forgotten something really important? Do you feel like there’s a great big thing in your head and you feel like you should remember it but you can’t?
Rory: Yep.
Amy: Are you just saying yes because you’re scared of me?
Rory: Yep.
Amy: Love you.
Rory: Yep. Ah—I mean I love you too.

Rory: You’re crying.
Amy: So I am. Why am I doing that?
Rory: Because you’re happy, probably. Happy Mrs. Rory. Happy happy happy.
Amy: No. I’m sad. I’m really really sad.
Rory: Great.
Amy: Why am I sad? {sees the diary} What’s that?
Rory: Oh, uh. Someone left it for you. A woman.
Amy: What is it?
Rory: It’s a book.
Amy: It’s blank.
Rory: It’s a present.
Amy: But why?
Rory: Well, you know the old saying. The old wedding thing. Eh?

Amy: When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend. The Raggedy Doctor. My Raggedy Doctor. But he wasn’t imaginary. He was real. I remember you. I remember! I brought the others back, I can bring you home too. Raggedy Man, I remember you and you are late for my wedding! I found you. I found you in words like you knew I would. That’s why you told me the story. The brand new ancient blue box. Oh clever, very clever. Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue.
Rory: It’s the Doctor. How did we forget the Doctor? I was plastic…
Amy
: Okay, Doctor. Did I surprise you this time?
The Doctor: Uh yeah. Completely astonished. Never expected that. How lucky I happen to be wearing this old thing.
Hello everyone! I’m Amy’s imaginary friend! But I came anyway.
Amy: You absolutely definitely may kiss the bride.
The Doctor: Amelia! From now on I shall be leaving the kissing duties to the brand new Mr. Pond.
Rory: No. I’m not Mr. Pond. That’s not how it works.
The Doctor: Yeah it is.
Rory: Yeah. It is.
The Doctor: Right then everyone. I’ll be in my box. You’re going to need the space. I only came for the dancing.

The Doctor: Two thousand years. The Boy Who Waited. Good on you, mate.

River: Did you dance? Well you always dance at weddings, don’t you.
The Doctor: You tell me.
River: Spoilers.
The Doctor: The writing’s all back but I didn’t peek.
River: Thank you.

The Doctor: Are you married, River?
River: Are you asking?
The Doctor: Yes.
River: Yes.
The Doctor: No. Hang on. Did you think I was asking you to marry me or asking if you were married?
River: Yes.
The Doctor: No, but was that yes or yes?
River: Yes.
The Doctor: River. Who are you?
River: You’re going to find out very soon
now. And I’m sorry. But that’s when everything changes.

Amy: Oy! Where are you off to? We haven’t even had a snog in the shrubbery yet.
Rory: Amy.
Amy: Shut up! It’s my wedding.
Rory: Our wedding!
The Doctor: Sorry you two. Shouldn’t have slipped away. It’s a bit busy. You know.
Rory: You just saved the whole of space and time. Take the evening off. Maybe a bit of tomorrow.
The Doctor: Space and time isn’t safe yet. The TARDIS exploded for a reason. Something drew the TARDIS to this particular date and blew it up. Why? And why now? The Silence—whatever it is—is still out there. And I have to— Excuse me a moment. Hello? Oh, hello! I’m sorry this is a very bad line. No no no. But that’s not possible. She was sealed into the Seventh Obelisk. I was at the Prayer Meeting. Well no, I get that it’s important. An Egyptian goddess loose on the Orient Express. In space. Give us a mo’. Sorry. Something’s come up. This will have to be goodbye.
Amy: Yeah. I think it’s goodbye. Do you think it’s goodbye?
Rory: Definitely goodbye.
Amy yelling out the door: Goodbye!

The Doctor: Don’t worry about a thing, Your Majesty. We’re on our way.