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I have seen some truly questionable theories put forth by television programs over the years. But none so questionable as When Pop Culture Saved America: A 9/11 Story. Which is—apparently—the story of how celebrities eased America’s pain after 9/11.

I won’t lie. I didn’t watch it. I did sit and stare at my television for a minute to decide whether or not it was a joke. Because seriously? Celebrities? I swear to Christ, if anyone—other than celebrities—actually believes that load of crap then I have lost faith in everything I hold sacred.

Where the fuck is it written that, because someone is famous, they suddenly become anything other than, you know, famous? I don’t think fame gives people any sort of magic, nation-healing superpowers.

The audacity is just amazing. The ego involved… To try and take some sort of credit for that is just beyond. Absolutely beyond.

God, everybody tries so hard to claim a piece of 9/11 as their own. It’s gross. It’s tacky. And sometimes it’s downright scary. And it’s just been amplified this year with the ten-year anniversary. I hate it. I’ve been avoiding any coverage or programs involving 9/11 for the past few weeks.