The O.C. Confidential

Seth: Okay, so then when the cops showed up and asked who’s responsible for the girl floating in the pool, he was like, what? “I’m an ex-con on parole. I know, I’ll say me.”
Ryan: No, I think that when the cops showed up and went to put the cuffs on Marissa he did what he had to do to stop them.
Seth: What makes you say that?
Ryan: I was about to do the same thing.
Seth: Sure. The compulsive need to rescue Marissa Cooper must be in the Atwood DNA.
Ryan: It would explain a lot.

Seth: Are you thinking of going undercover in a high school sting operation? Because that would be very 21 Jump Street of you.
Ryan: Whatever it takes.
Seth: Yeah, okay. I get to be Richard Grieco.

Julie: All I’m asking is that we not mention any lesbian dalliances or bodies in the pool. Okay?
Marissa: Maybe I should stay with Summer tonight. I mean, that way you don’t have to worry about me slipping up with Caleb and you can make all the “personal sacrifices” you want.

Carter: I’m sorry, it’s just, I hate drinking alone. pause. Well, I hate drinking wine alone.

David: Also, we’re wondering about Cosmo Girl. Her magic flask. Could she get her power from like, oo, like a sport drink instead? The thing is Legal’s like worried about lawsuits from the parents of teen alcoholics. Um… oh, the Ironist. Boy, a little cerebral.
Seth: Is he being ironic?

Summer: You know, it’s one thing blowing me off, but blowing off Death Cab?

Julie: Welcome home, sailor.
Caleb: What’s all this?
Julie: What does it look like?
Caleb: It looks like one of your movies.
Julie: That’s not funny.
Caleb: It’s not supposed to be.

Summer: I mean, where other than The Bait Shop, are tickets always plentiful and the band never too loud to talk over.

Marissa: Don’t mind my friend. She’s really, really stoned.
Summer: Totally. Very, very high. Isn’t this place, like, so visual?
Marissa: So do you wanna go sit down?
Jessica (Nikki Griffin): Can’t. Looking for a friend.
Marissa: The kind who could hook me up?
Jessica: Actually he lost his stash last weekend. But he’s taking orders for tomorrow night. You want in?
Marissa: Definitely.
Jessica: Water Polo is throwing a party. We can meet up there. Here’s the address. Cash only.
Marissa: No problem.
Jessica to Summer: How ’bout you?
Summer: Hm? Oh no, strictly ganga. What’s from the Earth is of the greatest worth.
Marissa as Jessica walks away: I’m gonna kill you.
Summer: I hope you know what you’re doing.

Seth: Is Summer around? I need your help. I have a little quagmire to… un-quag.

Kirsten: Except for my hair issues, great call on the convertible.
Carter: Well, that’s the way the California coast was meant to be seen. And your hair looks great.
Kirsten: Liar. For your punishment I control the radio on the way home.
Carter: No. No one who has won on American Idol ever sings in my car.

Lance: No pre-nup?
Julie: I think a porn scandal more than nullifies it.

Lance: What are you doing?
Julie: I’m writing you a check.
Lance: You don’t gotta pay me to kill your husband.
Julie: It’s not for that. It’s to get you out of town. I’m not a murderer, neither are you.

Kirsten: How many wines have we tasted?
Carter: According to my notes {checks notes} I stopped taking notes.
Kirsten: Should we fire ourselves for drinking on the job?
Carter: Drinking was the job. And I did my job rather well because I’m hammered.

Carter: Could you possibly find a driver for us tonight? We failed to make use of the silver bucket.
Server: Are you staying locally?
Carter: Ah, no. Orange County, actually.
Server: Ew. I’m sorry.

Caleb: Are these real tears?
Julie: No one’s more surprised than me.

Kirsten: Neither of us are actually in the right shape to drive just yet, so—.
Sandy: A little too much of the Indian Spirit, huh?