Summer: I can’t even pick out my shoes in the morning, let alone plan the rest of my life.
Seth: It’s okay, it’s only four years. And, according to this brochure it’s supposed to be the high-point of an otherwise miserable existence.
Mrs. Rushfield (Leslie Stevens): So we’ll deal with grades and boards later, but for now I just want to get a feel for what you want. Where you imagine yourself.
Seth: Ah, somewhere cold. Or brisk. I would settle for brisk.
Summer: I want 365 sun days. I don’t mean the day after Saturday.
Seth: I just had a meeting with the counselor and she said I had a very good shot at getting in. Because I’m awesome.
Ryan: Is this your first choice?
Seth: Dude, it’s my only choice. It’s liberal, it’s turtleneck weather, and most importantly it’s 30,000 miles away from here.
Ryan: It’s safe to say you’re not applying to Berkeley. have you told your dad?
Seth: Sandy Cohen’s a perceptive guy. I’m sure he’ll figure it out.
Ryan: Seth, you gotta tell him.
Seth: “Dad, I’m not applying to Berkeley. Where did you get a gun? Why do you have this gun?” That doesn’t have a good ring to it.
Sandy: Cardiobar is crawling with Newpsies! How bored are you?
Summer: These are our college lists. Do you see a difference?
Seth: Yeah. The font. Looks like you went with the, ah, Times New Roman.
Summer: The schools, doofus. None of them are the same. None of them are even in the same time zone.
Seth: Okay, so you know, you went West Coast, I went East Coast. It’s not a hip-hop war.
Summer: We are going to be separated by like a zillionbillion miles. I was up all last night thinking about that.
Seth: You were?
Summer: You haven’t even given this a second thought, have you?
Seth: Summer, what a second.
Summer: Too late, Cohen!
3F: You live in the Balboa Estates and you drive your own U-Haul?
Julie: You know, just keepin’ it real. Gotta go. See you around. 3F.
Summer: You can have him. Go to Brown or wherever you smart people go. He’s yours.
Taylor: This is a ploy, isn’t it?
Summer: No. It’s life. He’s going to Rhode Island and I’m going to Arizona.
Taylor: I just thought you guys would do the whole long distance thing.
Summer: Please. And struggle along? Break up at Thanksgiving and hook up at Christmas. And then break up again in January when we’re both back in school?
Taylor: But you could still apply to a school near to him.
Summer: Could you imagine me on the East coast? I’d be like one of those animals that they rip from their natural habitat and put in a zoo. Their fur would get all mangy and they’d throw dung at people. It would be awful.
Summer: What is it with people showing up with bags?
Taylor: Look, Summer, who knows what’s going to happen in the future. But for right now, Seth loves you. And you’re not even giving him a chance.
Summer: Why are you doing this?
Taylor: I figured Brown was a little Vanity Fair for my taste, and now I’m considering The Sorbonne.
Summer: No, I mean why are you being so nice?
Taylor: Well pathetic as it sounds, you and Seth are pretty much my best friends. And, ah, let’s face it. I never really had a shot with him.
Summer: Taylor, we are your friends.
Paul Glass (Tom Wright): So anyway, it was Halloween. And I set Sandy up with a roommate of this girl I was dating.
Sandy: And I didn’t have a costume so when I went over to pick her up I put a bag over my head.
Kirsten: I felt like I was dating the Elephant Man.
Paul Glass: Alright, so what do you call a black guy that flies a plane?
Paul Glass: A pilot, you freakin’ racist.
Seth: What made you change your mind?
Summer: Taylor. She made me see that at Brown you’re going to be surrounded by, like, really smart people and it’s going to make you feel really stupid. So you need someone around to makes you feel smart again.
Julie: Gus! I told your wife, I don’t swing!
Gus (Sven Holmberg): Hey, Julie!
Julie: I’ve got a gun, Gus.
Gus: That’s cool.