The Escape

Seth: The plan is undeniable, Ryan.
Ryan: I’m denying it.
Seth: We have my mom’s Range Rover. We have a perfect alibi as I go to this comic-book convention every year, and we also have my entire life of never doing anything wrong which completely lulls my parents into a false sense of trust.
Ryan: And you wanna throw all that away for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots?
Seth: I’m sorry, I thought that was a rhetorical question. Yes, Ryan, yes. On the last weekend before school, one goes to Tijuana. It is tradition. And it is a rite of passage.
And you know what else? What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.
Ryan: What happens in Mexico?
Seth: I don’t know, because it stays there. That’s why we must go!

Seth: Check you out. Big pimpin’.
Sandy: Well, I’ve got a meeting with a private law firm.
Ryan: What, are you suing one of their clients?
Sandy: It’s a job interview.
Kirsten: Which he’ll never take. They like to flatter him every once in awhile.
Sandy: Yeah, I go for the free meal.
Ryan: But, I mean, you’re still gonna be a public defender, right?
Kirsten: After 15 years? There’s no way he’s selling out.
Sandy: Well, it’d have to be one hell of a free meal.
Seth: And that’s what they call a callback in comedy, Ryan.

Summer about Ryan: He’s all brooding, wounded, “somebody save me.”
Marissa: I thought you liked that.
Summer: It is too hot to save anyone.

Summer: We should be there in three hours.
Seth: Well the GPS says the ETA is three and a half.
Summer: Well that’s because someone drives like an old woman.
Seth: I’m going 70 in a 65 zone.
Summer: Eighty is the new 70.
Seth: What? Who talks like that?
Summer: Who gets passed by a van full of nuns? Oh, wait, Cohen does!
Seth: Well they have God on their side, Summer, okay? I’m not gonna beat Jesus.

Summer: What is up with the AC? My hair is frizzing out. I look like Howard Stern.
Seth: See strangely I feel like my jewfro benefits from this climate.
Summer: You’re Jewish?
Seth: Yes. That’s why I feel so comfortable in this desert heat.
Summer: This is a nightmare. I’m sweating to death, driving ten miles an hour in, like, a rickshaw, listening to this… music.
Seth: Hey, do not insult Death Cab.
Summer: It’s like one guitar and a whole lot of complaining.

Marissa: Guys, can we try to stay positive here?
Seth: Yeah, well I am positive that this is Summer’s fault.
Summer: I am positive that I’m leaving this place with a rash.
Seth: Oh, so you plan on making some extra money tonight?

Kirsten: Sandy, you’re not seriously thinking about taking this job, are you?
Sandy: The salary they offered me, it’s outrageous.
Kirsten: Since when have you ever been swayed by a paycheck? This family has all the money it needs.
Sandy: Yeah, except of course it’s your money.
Kirsten: It’s our money.
Sandy: No, not really.

Marissa: So we’ll just get to Mexico, split up, and we don’t ever have to talk to each other again.
Ryan: Sounds like a plan. By the way, you could’ve knocked first.
Marissa: Did you ever wonder why I came to the pool house. to find you?
Ryan: Every day.

Summer: Come on. Get off the bed!
Seth: Nope.
Summer: Be, like, a gentleman?
Seth: Chivalry’s dead, sugar.
Summer get onto the bed
Summer: You make a move, I rip out your jugular.
Seth: Oh hey, pillow talk.

Seth: Think we should have woke Ryan and Marissa?
Summer: No. They looked so cute together. Vomit.
Seth: Hey. That’s a real sentimental streak you’ve got there, Summer.
Summer: Trouser it, Cohen. It’s too early for your so-called comedy.
Seth: You enjoy my comedy. You know what else you enjoy? Me.
Summer: Well that’s because you’re mentally unstable.
Seth: Be that as it may, I think the facts speak for themselves. Might I remind you of a little something that I like to call “The time that you kissed me by the pool at my grandfather’s birthday party.”
Summer: What are you talking about?
Seth: Okay. I know that denial is a very powerful coping mechanism, but I just think, Summer, that it’s time we paid lip service to our lip service.
Summer: Two words: no tongue.
Seth: Well, you did agree to take this little trip with me down Mexico way.
Summer: I needed a ride.
Seth: We shared the same bed.
Summer: I wasn’t going to sleep on that couch. It smelled like these eggs.
Seth: You ate my toast, Summer.
Summer: I like crusts, Seth.
Seth: Face it, our chemistry is undeniable.
Summer: You know what else is undeniable? The pain this fork is going to cause when I jam it into your eye! … I suffer from rage blackouts.