Bollywood Homicide

1989

Henry: Special girl, huh.
Young Shawn: Yeah. Kinda.
Henry: Well it’s nice to see you applying yourself. Looks like you put a lot of work into that.
Young Shawn: Thanks, Dad, but I don’t know if I’m going to send it.
Henry: Why? Why, Shawn?
Young Shawn: There are obstacles.
Henry: Obstacles! All couples have obstacles. The key to it is, you’re never gonna know unless you put yourself out there.
Young Shawn: Gus says it’ll never work.
Henry: Gus? What does Gus know? Gus is twelve. You remember at that skate party how he cried when that girl touched his arm? Gus. Come on.

Young Shawn: What do you think?
Henry: Let’s see. The heart is good. You tell her that you think she’s pretty, but not in a creepy, aggressive kind of way. I like that. You know down here I think what you want to do is I think you want to tell her that you’d like to call her sometime. Do that. It looks like you forgot to address it there. You want to write her name big and pretty. Make her think she’s important. You know how sometimes they’ll write when you do the calligraphy with big loops and swoopy letters? Do that. Do that over there.
Young Shawn: Dad, could you do it?
Henry: Yeah, sure. I guess. Alright. What’s her name.
Young Shawn: Ah. Mrs. Phillips.

Present Day

Rajesh “Raj” Singh (Sendhil Ramamurthy): Hey. What’s wrong?
Mina (Azita Ghanizada): I hate having to hide what we have. You know we can’t really be together until you tell her.
Raj: I will. Soon.

Shawn: This is my “I told you so” room. Where I like to gloat after a completey wild accusation turns out to be spot-on. That’s my “oops” corner, where I apologize to people for being arrested after a completely wild accusation turns out to be just that. Over there’s where you get gum. Free.
Abigail Lytar (Rachael Leigh Cook): What!

Shawn: This is Detective Carlton Lassiter. I do his job. And sometimes his hair, though clearly not today.
Lassiter: I’m really sorry, Spencer. I can’t play with you today. I’m about to go solve another case. And do it in record time.

Lassiter: Let’s go straight to the million dollar question: who exactly is responsible?
Raj: I am. I hurt them all. I’m a danger to everyone around me.

Lassiter: Just so we’re clear, I’d like you to write everything down. When you did it, where you did it, why you did it. {Rajesh starts writing} Now the “why” is very important— You’re done?
Raj: Yes.
Lassiter: You just wrote like three words.

Shawn: This place was actually built by the Amish. Which explains the complete and utter lack of zippers.

Shawn: I’m going to tell you what I do. And I don’t want you to freak out because it’s so cool. I’m a psychic. A great and powerful psychic, whose powers inspire fear and awe in those who first experience them. I am a crime-solving machine and I’ve closed over fifty cases. Many without pants.

Raj grabbing his hands: I hurt people. Lots of people. Lots of innocent people.
Shawn extricating himself: It’s funny, because you don’t strike me as a violent guy. How could you commit these crimes?
Raj: I can’t help it. The attacks, they just happen.
Shawn: I see. And you use some sort of weapon.
Raj: I am the weapon!
Shawn: Really?