Gossip Girl Season 2

It’s a Wonderful Lie

2008.12.01    

Amanda Setton  Jessica Szohr  John Patrick Amedori  Kevin Stapleton  Robert John Burke

Gossip Girl: Winter in New York: A Gossip Girl Checklist to Surviving the Cold. Cashmere stole for ice skating at Wollman Rink. Jacques Torres hot chocolate for window shopping the holiday displays. And the perfect date to the senior snowflake charity ball.

Penelope (Amanda Setton): Oh. Hello Weird Documentary Girl.
Vanessa (Jessica Szohr): Bye Sad Blair Wannabe.

Lily: Thanks for offering to help out. It’s really been fun.
Rufus: Well when you just happened to mention my background in sound systems and lack of volunteer hours at the last PTA meeting I sorta caught your signal.

Gossip Girl: Sorry ladies. For those of you who were hoping to find Nate Archibald under your tree, looks like he’s already picked out his mistletoe mate.

Lily: I really don’t appreciate your showing up unannounced at a school function.
Bart (Robert John Burke): I’m sorry, but you haven’t left me many options and we do need to talk.
Lily: Fine. Talk.
Bart: It’s been a long time since I’ve been husbandly. I just want you to know I fired Andrew Tyler, that private investigator that gathered all those files. No more snooping. No more trying to control you and the kids. It’s done. And I’m sorry. For everything.
Lily: Thank you, but I don’t think that that’s enough.
Bart: Then tell me what is and I’ll do it. I can change, Lily. You know I can. If you’ll let me.

Aaron (John Patrick Amedori): I know Lexi can be a bit much.
Serena: Blair Waldorf is my best friend. I can handle “much.” But that felt personal.
Aaron: She doesn’t mean anything by it. She thinks she’s protecting me.
Serena: Oh, great. Well how long is the enforcer going to be with us?
Aaron: Uh, she’s staying with her folks through the holidays.
Serena: So is that Christmas Eve? Are we talking New Years Eve? Or maybe Boxing Day?

Jenny: How could you? Really, Vanessa? Lying and seeing Nate behind my back?
Vanessa: I’m… so sorry. I’ve been meaning to tell you I just wasn’t sure how.
Jenny: You knew this entire time why Nate wasn’t calling and it was because he was with you.
Vanessa: I understand that you’re upset. But if I remember correctly you kissed Nate behind my back first.
Jenny: And I felt so horrible about it that I ran after you and you were gone. So what happened to not letting a guy get in between us? Are you really that desperate?
Vanessa: Are you really that jealous, Jenny?
Jenny: Oh my god!
Vanessa: I’m sorry you found out this way. I am. But since you have, you might as well know that Nate asked me to the ball tomorrow night. And I think I’m going to go.

Blair: What do you want, Bass?
Chuck: It occurred to me today when I was having my afternoon shiatsu that I should choose your date.
Blair: You? Why?
Chuck: Why not? And it would let me prove I know you better than anyone else.
Blair: Fine. Then I choose yours.
Chuck: I bring a date for you, you bring one for me. Let’s see who’s paying attention to the other’s desires.
Blair: There has to be something to keep you honest. And to make things interesting.
Chuck: Name the stakes.
Blair: If you actually like your date, I get your limo for a month.
Chuck: Fine. And if you like yours I get Dorota.
Blair: What? Dorota?
Dorota: Yes Miss Blair?
Blair: Fine.
Chuck: By the way, I take my breakfast in bed.
Blair: What are you staring at? Go polish something.

Aaron: You okay with her coming tomorrow?
Serena: Yeah. It’s a little When Harry Met Crazy but as long as Dan’s fine with it, then—
Aaron: I’m guessing Dan will end up being more than fine with it.
Serena: Meaning?
Aaron: Lexi likes to sleep with guys on the first date. She claims it’s a political statement against male-dominated sexual hypocrisy. Or something.
Serena: Can’t she just vote?

Chuck: Taking off?
Bart: Morning meeting in Miami. I should be back tomorrow.
Chuck: Sure that’s wise? Seems to me the old marriage thermostat is headed south of late.
Bart: And whose fault is that? Thanksgiving was a disaster because of those files. And you think I don’t know who had the combination to that safe? Every time I think we’re making progress you show your true colors.

Penelope: Jenny, Isabel’s dress looks a little like one of yours, don’t you think?
Jenny: No. I know about a little something called lining.
Penelope: Well what if you didn’t?

Gossip Girl: Snowflake or snowfake? Either way it’s going to be a ball.

Blair: Chuck is in for the shock of his life. I have depths he’ll never plumb, but I know every inch of his wafer thin soul.

Vanessa: Jenny. What are you doing here?
Jenny: I’m still mad at you.
Vanessa: So what, you’re going to kill me and put me in the garment bag?
Jenny: I couldn’t sleep last night. I was up half the night making this before I realized who it was for.
Vanessa: You made that for me?
Jenny: Yeah. I mean, um, I said some pretty awful things ’cause I was hurt. So I guess just consider this a peace offering. You’ll look great.

Blair: I thought I made it clear that we need to find Chuck the perfect date. Kirsten Curran is the loosest girl in our class. Don’t you know Chuck doesn’t like his fruit pre-picked?
Dorota: She has long hair. In Poland long hair symbolizes—
Blair: And Elizabeth Phillips is somewhere between Mormon and moron. How did you come up with these?
Dorota: Facebook. I join few groups.
Blair: This has to be Chuck’s dream girl. Intelligent but not a bookworm. Strong-willed but still feminine. An equal. And he likes brunettes. With deep brown eyes.
Dorota: But Miss Blair, that’s you.
Blair: No. That girl is out there. And you better hope for your sake that I find her!
Dorota: Please, I don’t want to shine Mr. Chuck’s shoes for a month.
Blair: Yeah, his shoes if you’re lucky.
Dorota: What?
Blair: Nothing.

Lily: It’s me. Can you inform Mr. Bass that my plans have changed? I won’t be waiting and he shouldn’t come to the ball.

Chuck: You look lovely.
Blair: Not as lovely as I’ll look in my limo. So where’s my Prince Uncharming?
Chuck: Sandbox rules. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

Blair: We both know that I’m your one and only. And a Canal Street knock-off seemed like the best option.
Chuck: My thinking exactly.
Blair: Fine. If Beta Bass is anything like the original I have no doubt that sooner or later he’ll disappoint me.
Chuck: And I’m curious to see if the new Blair has all the features I so enjoyed on the old model.
Blair: So the bet is still on.
Chuck: Unless you’re prepared to concede.
Blair: To you? Never.

Lily: Hi Rufus.
Rufus: What’s going on?
Lily: I’m leaving him. I’m doing it for me. I don’t expect anything. Except maybe a dance.

Serena: I just thought sex was meaningful to you. That’s all.
Dan: Well it is. Especially when I haven’t had it in a long time.
Serena: Right. Okay then. Have fun.

Penelope: Where is she? How long does that subway thing take?

Gossip Girl: Poor Vanessa. Even Cinderella was given the courtesy of a stealth getaway. Then again, what’s a trio of lovely stepsisters compared to Jenny Humphrey. Looks like it might turn out to be an “Unhappily Ever After” for everyone.

Nate: Jenny. Did you do that to Vanessa?
Jenny: Yeah. You don’t understand, okay? She completely—
Nate: She what? She lied? She went behind your back? So what? For that she deserved to be publicly humiliated? She’s your friend, Jenny. You know, there’s no reason to tell you this now, but I wrote you this letter after the fashion show. Telling you I had feelings for you.
Jenny: I never got that.
Nate: I know. Vanessa stole it. But she felt so bad about it she came and told me the truth.
Jenny: Okay, look. I know what you must think of me right now. But if I had gotten—
Nate: I’m glad you didn’t. Honestly? You’re not who I thought you were.

Blair: Everyone, even our doppelgangers, can work it out. But we can’t.

Lily: I never thought my life would turn out like this. I always tried to do the right thing.
Rufus: That’s all you can do. Just, ah, smile and fake it.
Lily: Tell me something, Rufus.
Rufus: What?
Lily: Something you shouldn’t.
Rufus: I never wanted to weigh in about your relationship with Bart. I was afraid of what I might say.
Lily: Which was?
Rufus: I let you go on your wedding day because I was afraid I couldn’t give you what you needed. I wasn’t sure what I needed. And I have regretted it everyday since.

Bart: As much as I appreciate company from the airport, I thought I made myself clear: your services are no longer required.
Andrew Tyler (Kevin Stapleton): You gave me a final assignment. And trust me, you do want to know what I found out.

Chuck: You’ve been good for him—good for us. I always liked you regardless of how I may have acted. He’s on his way here. You owe him a conversation.

Nate: Vanessa! Wait. You stole my letter.
Vanessa: I know.
Nate: Is there anything else you want to tell me?
Vanessa: Pretty sure that was it.
Nate: You said you never felt this way about anyone before. Was that true?
Vanessa: Does it matter?
Nate: Okay, listen. After all we’ve been through, when you walked away tonight all I could think was “She’s the one I want to be with.” So yeah, it matters.
Vanessa: That’s easy for you to say. Because you didn’t just pull a Janet Jackson at the Snowflake Ball.

Chuck: Dance with me.
Blair: What’s the point, Chuck. We’re never going to be them. You said so, remember? It’s not for us.
Chuck: Maybe. But I wouldn’t change us. Not if it meant losing what we have.
Blair: And what do we have, Chuck? You tell me.
Chuck: Tonight. So shut up. And dance with me.

Serena: Mom, what’s wrong?
Lily: Bart’s been in an accident.