Being Human Series 3

The Pack

2011.02.13    

Mark Lewis Jones  Melanie Walters  Michael Socha  Michelle Luther  Robson Green

15 Years Ago

McNair (Robson Green): Okay, you won’t remember, but when you were small, mum used to tell you to be brave. Before me and her would go into the woods. And you were. You were so brave, Tom. And you have to be now. You’re gonna be brave, aren’t you? Maybe next month you’ll be brave enough to come with me.
Tom (Michael Socha): Augh! Dad! Dad! Don’t leave!

Nina: George are you sure we’re not lost?
George: I have three tracking badges on my woggle. I don’t do lost.
Nina: You were a boy scout?
George: Well, a cub. {he pauses}
Nina: What?
George scratching her belly: Cub.

George: I knew it. What else could have done that?
Nina: I don’t know, foxes? A really pissed off badger?

Tom: Dad, he’s back. The one I told you about.
McNair: Where?
Tom: Close. With a woman. Probably more of them.
McNair: Get inside.
Tom: Can’t I talk to him?
McNair: Get inside.
Tom: But Dad, what about the pack? I don’t want to go inside—

Annie: How about that?
Mitchell: Annie.
Annie: Still nothing?
Mitchell: The questions aren’t really helping.
Annie: Maybe your jeans are too tight.
Mitchell: No! No no, the jeans are fine. Just go with the flow, you know?
Annie: Yeah. But who leads the flow?
Mitchell: No one. It’s a flow.

George: Hi. Just tuning up?
McNair: Fan belt’s gone.
George: Oh. If I had a pair of stockings on me I’d hand them over. Not that I do. Wear. Stockings… much. I’m actually looking for someone else. Younger guy, early twenties. Saw him about a month ago. Dragging a chicken.

George: Look, if you live with him you must know what he is. We’re the same. Maybe you are too?
Nina: Werewolves. {George points at her} It’s just, we need to speak with someone like us. To see if you’ve ever heard of… a werewolf having a baby.
McNair: I’m afraid I don’t know anything about that, ma’am.
Nina: Look, we need to know if the baby will survive the transformation. We can’t exactly talk to a doctor.
McNair: Very sorry, ma’am, but as I said, I can’t help you.

Annie: So, um, since you’ve been struggling with the whole… you know. I made a list. A sex list. Of all the things that we can try.
Mitchell: Oh yeah?
Annie: Yeah. Ahem. One: heavy petting.
Mitchell: Heavy petting’s nice.
Annie: Good nice. Checks it off. Two: dirty talk.
Mitchell: Dirty talk?
Annie: “I’ve been such a bad girl. I’ve been so very naughty. I think that I need to be spa… ” “Need to be…” Can’t quite read my writing. Oh! Spanked! Er, “I need to be spanked.” And you say, “What have you done?”
Mitchell: Ah… What have you done?
Annie: Oh, bad bad things. Naked things in the mud. Fighting my lesbian twin {reading} and…. then I sit on… sit on… Daddy.
Mitchell: Sweet Jesus.

George: What are you doing?
Annie: Well.
Mitchell: Ventriloquism?
Annie: Ventriloquism.
George: Ventriloquism?
Annie: Yeah. Um… “Gottle o’ geer. Gottle o’ geer.” We’re not very good yet. We just started practicing.

Mitchell: Where the hell have you guys been?
George: Shopping.
Nina: Cinema.
George: Shopping. Then cinema.
Annie: What’d you see?
Nina: Ava… tar.
George: Smokey and the Bandit. … What a weird double bill that was.
Nina: Oh… it was weird.

Tom: Why didn’t you tell them the truth?
McNair: We don’t know them.
Tom: Yeah, but if they’re like us shouldn’t we help them?
McNair: Just because they’re like us, does not mean they’re like us.

Tom: I don’t understand, Dad. All right? If it’s normal then why wouldn’t you let me speak to them?
McNair: Look, you’re going to feel certain urges. Hm? I was the same.
Tom: With mum.
McNair: But you shouldn’t get that confused with finding the pack. You know? Because one day, when we do, you’ll meet someone you like and she feels the same then you can be a bee and… she can be a flower and—they should get some air conditioning in here—I’m just saying, there’s not rush. It’s a special thing. And it needs to be with a special person. Like you.

Annie: Mitchell, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and… oh, no, I’m not going to say it. You’ll think I’m stupid.
Mitchell: What?
Annie: Well I think this is meant to happen. I think we’re meant to be together. Like it’s fate.
Mitchell: Oh come on, Annie! That’s crap! Don’t believe in fate. Life’s about what you do, not some fucking— …I don’t mean us, I just mean… you need to make, you need to make things happen. Or not happen. You know?
Annie: Well whatever you want to call it, I think someone has plans for us.

McNair: Do you know what you’re doing?
Nina: I’m a nurse. We need to get him to the hospital.
McNair: I can stitch that back up at the truck. Come on, Tom. You can walk.
Nina: What, in the tetanus mobile? Are you kidding?

McNair: We are not staying under the same roof as that thing.
Mitchell: That’s fine by me!
George: Mitchell’s our friend. It’s fine.
McNair: What do you mean he’s your friend? Do you know what these things do to us? Put us in cages, make us fight?
Mitchell: Oh, what are you talking about? That stopped years ago.

Mitchell: Why are they here? Who are they? Why are they here?
George: Well we met them this afternoon.
Mitchell: Why?!
Tom: They needed help.
McNair: Tom—
Mitchell: Help with what? Help with what!
Nina: I’m pregnant!

Nina: What happened to your mum?
Tom: She was killed. By vampires.

George: Oh my god. I’m going to be a dad. I’m going to have to teach them how to play football…. and I’m going to have to learn how to play football.
Annie: Oh, you’re gonna be brilliant. You’ll be embarrassing and everything.

Mitchell: Did the wolves say anything else about what they’re doing here?
George: Like what?
Mitchell: What, you don’t think it’s weird. Breaking into someone’s house in the middle of the night.

Nina: Well, what do you think?
George: That’s my fleece.
Nina: Alright. He’s only borrowing it. It doesn’t suit him anyway. He’s far too young to wear a fleece.

George: Well it… kind of makes sense. Wolves are pack-running creatures.
Nina: It’s bullshit. Like everything else McNair’s told him.
George: What are you talking about?
Nina: He’s got scratches. On his head, on his back. Like the ones on your shoulder, like mine.
George: Yeah, but he could have got them anywhere. Oh come on!

George: And if he wasn’t born a werewolf?
Nina: Well then we’re back to where we started.

McNair: You know what I don’t understand? Is what a clean and kind girl like you is doing with a vampire.
Annie: How did you know?!
McNair: I see things. Live the life we do, pays to know who’s safe and who’s a threat.
Annie: Look. My first boyfriend took naked photos of me while I was asleep and put them on the internet. My second boyfriend got drunk and asked my mom for a threesome. My third boyfriend pushed me down the stairs and killed me. So I think a vampire’s pretty much marriage material given my track record.

Mitchell: What are you doing here? Really? Did somebody send you for me?
McNair: Vampires and their vanity.
Mitchell: I’ve done nothing to you.
McNair: You spilled my boy’s blood. So I’m going to spill yours.

McNair: Now how did you get in there? I didn’t invite you.
Mitchell: Yeah. Little factoid for you: mobile homes don’t count. It must be something to do with all the gypsies we used to munch on in Transylvania. I could never remember to work it out.

Richard (Mark Lewis Jones): The old ones didn’t take very kindly to your refusal of their offer, you know. There may be repercussions.
Mitchell: Yeah, I’m not here to talk about that. I heard things didn’t go exactly to plan with Adam.
Richard: Yes. Your mongrels took away our boy. They humiliated us in our own home.
Emma (Melanie Walters): Dinner party ruined.

Mitchell: I’ll say this once and then it’s said and we’ll move on. If you so much as lay a finger on George and Nina, I’ll kill you.

McNair: Yeah, finding the pack’s important but there’s another reason we live like this.
Tom: Kill vampires.
McNair: It’s our calling. It’s our task. We are soldiers.
Tom: I know, Dad—
McNair: So you get your results tomorrow and we go. Don’t get too attached. George and Nina aren’t going to like us after we kill their friend.

Annie: You pull a girl. I hold her hand—or whatever. You feel her, and I feel you through her.
Mitchell: Oh my god, you’re not even joking.

George: What about Gina? It’s a combination of George and Nina.
Nina: Well. Better than Norge.

Sadie (Michelle Luther): What do you think I’m here for, the conversation?
Annie: Oh. Clearly not.

George: Annie and Mitchell still haven’t said anything. It’s getting embarrassing. Maybe they think we wouldn’t approve.
Nina: Well we don’t now, do we?
George: Why not?
Nina: Well, let me see. She’s a Sagittarius and he’s a hundred-and-seventeen-year-old mass murderer.

George: Who were you? Before all this?
McNair: Before Tom I was nothing. I was wild. I was a danger to myself as much as anyone else. Tom saved me.

Tom: So how are the results?
Nina: I’m not going to examine you. You can put your clothes back on.
Tom: I didn’t take my top off for that. If I have to leave tomorrow I just want you to know how I feel.
Nina: Tom—
Tom: And I think you feel the same.
Nina: No, but—
George: What’s going on?
Tom: I love her.
Nina: What?
George: I love her.
Tom: Well maybe we both love her. And that makes us a pack.
Nina: There is no pack. Your tests yesterday, I sent them to a lab. The police keep records of missing people in case they ever turn up in hospital. You’re not who you think you are. I’m sorry Tom, but you weren’t born a werewolf. You caught it. Like us.

Nina: But they did find your mother… And your father. They said it was an animal attack. And if he wasn’t born a werewolf, then what does that mean for us?

McNair: Please Tom, don’t do this.
Tom: And me mum?
McNair: I was changed. I didn’t know what I was doing! You must have been camping, the three of you. I don’t remember. I come back the next day, you’re there. You were just a baby. I thought you were dead. But you were warm and bloody and you were still breathing. How was I supposed to explain it, Tom? I always tried to do the best for you.
Tom: What about the pack?
McNair: It’s just me and you.

Annie: Who are we kidding with this relationship? It’s… We can’t do anything that normal couples do. We can’t have children, we can’t have sex.
Mitchell: Thank god. That’s what sex is to me, it’s a weapon. It’s never been about love. It’s never even been about lust. It’s just the blood. But we can have something better than that. Something pure. Oh… I’ve done so many bad things, Annie, my god. Maybe that’s why I don’t believe in fate. I’m tired of being manipulated. For nearly a hundred years I’ve been a slave to hunger. But with you, you give me a reason to take control back over my life. You give me a reason to start again.

Annie: He’s quite intense.

McNair: Ladies and gentlemen, there’s been a change to tonight’s billing. In three minutes I’m gonna kill everyone in this room.

George: You all right?
Nina: Yeah. Think so. Hope so.
George: Me too. More than anything.

George: How come we didn’t tear each other apart?
Annie: Well, it was really quite sweet actually. I mean after the other wolves finished trying to kill Mitchell, George just kind of padded around you all protective. And then the other two stayed on the other side kind of wrestling around and marking their territory.

McNair: Maybe they are your pack.
Tom: I think they’ve got their own pack. No, back to Cornwall’s where I want to go.
McNair: You can take the truck. I’ll be all right.
Tom: We still need to find a distributor cap. Plus you need to teach me how to drive.

Mitchell: We’re square now. After everything. You and me, yeah?
McNair: You think one good deed cancels out everything you’ve done? Yeah we may be square but you’ll get yours. Someday. Soon. Somebody’s going to get you. Bang.