Being Human Hal Yorke

Series 4


Damien Molony

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Eve of the War


Leo (Louis Mahoney): Pearl won’t talk about it. I tried last night after Only Connect and she threw the remote control at me. So I’m asking you.
Hal (Damien Molony): The last full moon left you bedridden for two weeks. It’s likely the next one will likely kill you.
Leo: Thank you for your honesty.

Leo: What will it mean if I die for both of you?
Hal: The shop and the flat upstairs are in your name, so we lose those. And if a ghost loses their root and their familiars, they fade. She will disperse and drift away on the breeze like smoke.

View all quotes from Eve of the War

Being Human 1955

Hal: You do know that it’s human skin.
Annie: Um, no. That one’s not actually. That one’s fake. It’s just prosthetics.
Hal: Would it make it easier for you to believe that?
Annie: Yes.

Hal: I think that Eve really is the War Child. She’s actually going to do it. She’s going to rid the world of us.
Pearl: Us?
Hal: Vampires.

Hal: Are there subtitles for this conversation?

Hal: Leo gave me these. Every day he’d make me line them up, but never let me knock them down.
Annie: Why?
Hal: He wanted to show me that I’m in control. If I could teach myself to fight small urges, then I could train myself to resist much bigger ones.

Pearl: What are you saying?
Annie: What I’m saying is, “Move in here!”
Hal: Are you somehow drunk?

Tom: I’m going to the shop, do you want to come?
Hal: I’d love to but I’ve made plans to sit in and self-harm, so…
Tom: You’re a dick head.
Hal: If you say so.

Hal: Why didn’t he simply ask me? You barely know him.
Tom: Well it involves going to the shop, Hal, and you’re not exactly a people person, are you?

Hal: Why are you so bothered?
Tom: What?
Hal: I mean I know why I’m here. But why are you going to all this trouble for a man you barely know.
Tom: Well I happen to quite like him. He’s sound. Even if he does have seriously bad judgment when it comes to picking his mates.

Hal: You end his life, and he’ll invade yours.

Shopkeeper: The way I see it, there’s only two ways you could know those things. Either your a man of God, or you’re speaking from experience.
Hal: I’m not a man of God.

Leo: You were the best friend I ever had.
Hal: You too. Leo, I’ll never forget you.

Hal: You don’t actually have to go through with this, you know.
Annie: Oh no. Hal, you are staying with us. I made a promise. And if there’s anything I take very seriously it’s promises I make to disembodied spirits to look after someone.

Tom: What are you doing?
Hal: I don’t know.
Tom: Put her down.
Hal: I wasn’t going to hurt her.
Tom: Put. Her. Down.

Annie: She’s been responsible for quite a few miraculous things, you know. Even if she isn’t the savior.
Hal: I’m still hoping she is.
Annie: What?
Hal: I want it to be true. I want her to kill us all.

View all quotes from Being Human 1955

The Graveyard Shift

Tom: You need to get a job.
Hal: I’m sorry?
Annie: Um, we need money for Eve, Hal. We can’t go on like this.
Tom: Swanning around on your backside all day.
Hal: You think I’m relaxing. This is me holding on by my fingernails.

Hal: Kill me. Seriously, kill me now. You can tell Annie I attacked you or something.
Tom: Maybe later if you work really hard.

Tom: Those ladies on the cover, showing everything to everyone. No one will want to court them.
Hal: Sorry, “court” them?
Tom: You know what I mean.
Hal: Only because I was around during the coronation.

Hal: That’s a really nice look you’ve got going on there.
Micaela: Nice?
Hal: Sorry. This is one of those things where negative is positive, isn’t it? Hang on. I know this one. That’s really bad.
Micaela: Get you, Vanilla Ice.

Hal: I cannot sleep in a barn or a tent or a caravan or anywhere without central heating, carpets and Radio Four. Now that should be on my list. Really, it should. You make me do that I won’t be responsible for my actions.
Annie: What about the Old Ones?
Hal: If the Old Ones are coming then it is better I’m here to greet them.
Annie: Greet them?

Hal: Look. I’m not sure what you’re used to when George and, ah… Tina were around, but—
Annie: Their names were Nina, George and Mitchell. And this was their home. They were my friends. And they would have listened to me.

Tom: Have you planned this? Were you just going to hand me over?
Hal: Not exactly hand you over. More just step aside. But I changed my mind.
Tom: How do I know that?
Hal: I don’t know. Maybe because we are whispering in the dark behind a counter.

Hal: I’m a vampire, he’s a werewolf. Any questions?
Micaela: Are you… seeing anyone?

Regus: You’re one of the good guys now?
Hal: It would appear so.
Regus: Yeah, I think I am too. It’s fun, isn’t it?

Hal: Did you ever meet Ivan and Daisy?
Annie: Now there’s a lovely thought.

View all quotes from The Graveyard Shift

A Spectre Calls

Tom: Annie’s made a rota.
Hal: I already have a rota.
Tom: Seven am I feed the baby. Eight am you walk the baby. There’s a task for every hour and it’s color-coded.
Hal: With little pictures of nappies and bottles.
And glitter. She’s planned every moment of every minute of every day of our lives.
Tom: We must destroy this.

Kirby: Nina told me to help. Said you were doing great, Annie, but thought you could do with an extra pair of hands.
Hal: He doesn’t have a burn.
Annie: But why would she send you?
Kirby: I was a nursery teacher before I crocked it.
Annie: But why didn’t she come herself?
Kirby: Well she can’t. Werewolves can’t be ghosts. That would really mess things up.
Tom: That don’t make no sense.
Kirby: Neither did the lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody, but I didn’t make them up either. {Tom looks unimpressed}.

Hal: Sorry about the mess.
Kirby: I don’t think it’s too bad.
Hal: Thank you.
Kirby: For a war zone

Annie: Must be lovely being you. Always the cleverest and the oldest and never forget anything for hundreds of years.
Hal: No. It’s terrible.

Hal: Annie’s getting hysterical downstairs and I’m not enjoying it.

Hal: Where’s the mother?
Kirby: At work.
Tom: Yeah, she’s a barrister. Dead classy. We’re a real power couple. We have dinner parties and we’re probably going to get a labrador.

Hal: When you said “rather odd”, what were you implying?
Dr. North: That he’s a half-wit.
Tom: That’s not very nice.

Hal: It’s peculiar though, isn’t it? Dead GP outside our house. On the day you arrive.
Kirby: Well you’re the expert when it comes to sudden mysterious deaths.

Kirby: You see you might have gotten used to what you are, but someone else hearing all that for the first time. I don’t know, Hal, I just think that they might find it quite disturbing. Chances are you’d be out on your ear. And then what would happen? Eh? Lock up your daughters!
Hal: What do you want?
Kirby: Be nice to me. Help Annie like me.
Hal: She already likes you.
Kirby: Yeah, I know. But really like me. I think she’s smashing, but she won’t let me help with the baby. And that makes me feel like she doesn’t trust me.
Hal: She’s a good judge of people.
Kirby: Yeah. Huh. Except she trusts you so she’s not that good, is she?

Annie: I just want something good for a change, you know? Something uncomplicated.
Hal: And you think that’s what Kirby is?
Annie: I didn’t say that. But… yes. Yes, I guess so. Well he is compared to…

Hal: The paper said the box tunnel murderer’s stomach contained flesh.
Annie: It said what?

Hal: Doctor Wilson. Why did you lie?
Dr. Wilson: It’s true. It’s what I found.
Hal: Jason Healy was set up by the police. He wasn’t even on that train, let alone eating its passengers.

Hal: Annie’s upset with me.
Kirby: I saw! Yeah, sorry mate. Still. On the plus side, she’s very friendly with me.
Hal: She thinks I said something to Tom. But I didn’t. So you must have. He was my friend.
Kirby: You don’t have any friends.
Hal: Well he could have been.

Kirby: He was totally out of control! He was a monster!
Annie: Hal.
Hal: Yes?
Annie: You have to leave. You have to leave this house now.

Tom: Did you know it was my birthday today?
Hal: Why didn’t you say?
Tom: I thought you knew. {realizing} Kirby.

Hal: Why are you here Kirby?
Kirby: I don’t really want to answer that question ’cause it’ll get all Scooby Doo. Do you mind if I tell you after I’ve finished?
Tom: You want to kill the baby? Why?
Kirby: ‘Cause I was told to. That were th’ whole bloody mission.

Hal’s fixing Tom’s photo wall
Tom: That one’s not straight. If you’re gonna do it, do it properly.
Hal: Now he finds a sense of humor.

Hal: Happy Birthday, Tom.
Tom: Wicked. {he grabs the cake}
Annie: No, no, Tom. Blow them out.
Tom: Huh?
Annie: Blow them out, darling.

Annie: Look, I’m sorry about earlier.
Hal: Don’t apologize. I’m sorry you had to see that side of me. Again.

Annie: Now I know that you could never hurt Eve, so… {she hugs him around his middle}
Hal: Awkward.

View all quotes from A Spectre Calls

Hold the Front Page

6 months earlier

Adam: Who the hell are you?
Hal: Who the bloody hell are you?

Adam: So where’s George and the others?
Hal: I’m afraid they died.
Adam: Oh, Annie. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
Annie: No. No, not really. Um, thank you. Thanks.

Yvonne: Now. Sorry for imposing on you like this. And apologies too for the other trouble that’s bound to follow.
Hal: What trouble?
Yvonne: You, dear. Men, dear.

Annie: Just threaten him, and find out what he knows.
Hal: I’m not your bloody henchman.

Hal: Is it me or is there something very strange about her?
Annie: Besides the fact that she’s completely delusional? All that stuff about “Kriss Akabusi chased me around Morrisons!”. Please. You know when I was sixteen a photographer told me I was pretty enough to be in a catalog. Yeah. A catalog, Hal. You don’t hear me going on about it.
Hal: I’ve only been here a few weeks, you’ve already told me twice.
Annie: And another thing, how come she can see me? Hal? Hal!

Annie: Hal, cover your eyes. There’s a cross.
Hal: I’m an Old One. Crosses don’t affect us.

Hal: Annie. I really was going to hurt that journalist.
Annie: And I wanted you to. That’s why I dragged you along with me. Ever since I killed Kirby I’ve wanted to do it again. It’s like a drug, isn’t it?

View all quotes from Hold the Front Page

Puppy Love

Hal: I was hoping you might be able to help me. Leo’s role in my rehabilitation was essential, and with him gone I have no one to set the tasks I need to keep me safe. So I was wondering if… perhaps… you could pick up where he left off.
Tom: You want me to, what, be like your new Leo?
Hal: Well no one could ever replace Leo. But perhaps you could perform a similar role.
Tom: I think I’d be honored, mate.
Hal: I think he would be too.
Tom: The toilets could do with a clean.
Hal: But don’t take the piss.

Tom about Allison: You think she’s a vampire?
Hal: Smells more like a werewolf.

Tom: It was a trap by the vampires. We didn’t know they were filming.
Allison: It’s had over a million hits.
Tom: “FX Fail”.
Allison: As in, special effects. Thankfully most people think it’s a fake.
Hal: “Hairy balls, LOL”?
Allison: Well this was just the start. You know we trended last full moon. {they look confused} On Twitter. There’s a Facebook group trying to hunt us down.
Tom: Facebook?
Allison: Don’t tell me you’re still on MySpace.
Hal: We’re more Ceefax people.

Alex: You want the big guns then. Pull my finger.
Hal: Look, I think I may have mislead you. I was just being friendly.
Alex: Same here. So, um, you’ve got a girlfriend then.
Hal: No.
Alex: Boyfriend?
Hal: No.
Alex: Ah. You’re religious. Hence your weird blend of happiness and sexual repression.

Hal: So you’re officially courting now.
Tom: Well I don’t know. It’s fun training her and that. But we haven’t even held hands yet.
Hal: Then it is time to declare your intentions. First write her a poem and then speak to her father.
Tom: Annie said I should just get drunk and then try and snog her.

Hal: Who are you?
Annie: Okay, I’m sorry. I should have explained. Everybody, this is Emyrs. I… killed him.

Annie: Look it’s fine. I’m all over this. We just need to figure out his unfinished business and then move him on.
Tom: And you think that’s haunting our bathroom?
Annie: No, Tom. Of course it’s not haunting our bathroom. Unfinished business is something good and something righteous.
Emyrs: Who says?
Hal: I knew a ghost whose unfinished business was to castrate her brother-in-law. Something to do with inappropriate Salsa dancing. So it could be anything really.
Emyrs: See.
Annie: I refuse to believe that.
Tom: Why?
Annie: Well because I’m still here, aren’t I. And when my time comes it will be to do something good.

Tom: Hal, I found these matches and some of them are the wrong way ’round.
Hal: We’ll soon see about that! {he grabs them}
Tom: It calms him down. I knew he’d get like this.

Allison: How’d it go with Alex?
Hal: I don’t think we’ll be seeing her again. She tried to kiss me and…
Tom: You killed her?
Hal: No! No, I think the routines have really helped suppress those urges.
Allison: So you chickened out?
Hal: That’s absolutely ridicu— How dare you!
Tom: Oh my god. You ain’t scared of killing, you’re just scared.
Hal: I have seduced several thousand women in my time.
Tom: Yeah, when you were all blooded up. Now that you’re sober you’re just a scaredy cat.

View all quotes from Puppy Love

Making History


Hal: It’s not dissatisfaction. It’s a feeling more akin to having been born in captivity. A sinking realization that you’re dreams are just too big, too rich for this domestic world.
Cutler: Okay, are you planning to say anything I can use as your defense?
Hal: A defense for what?
Cutler: What you were arrested for. Illegal gambling. Specifically, according to the reams of documents and papers they found, dog fights.
Hal: Don’t worry about that. Until recently any dealings with the police were handled by our family solicitor, Robert Mercer. But he passed away unexpectedly on the twenty-fourth of this month.
Cutler: Today’s the twentieth.
Hal: Is it? Hm.

Eve: I needed to tell you something, so I died and came back through my history. Like how Lia took Mitchell through his past. That’s what gave me the idea. Every single moment is here somewhere, you just need to—
Annie: How do you know about Mitchell?
Eve: You told me everything. Mitchell. George and Nina. Lia. McNair. Gilbert. Herrick. These are the stories I grew up with.

Annie: So what is it? This thing that you want to tell me.
Eve: Mum.
Annie: Just tell me. So I can go.
Eve: I have to show you.
Annie: Show me what?
Eve: My present. Your future.

Hal: What are you doing here?
Cutler: I was going to ask you the same thing.

Hal: You’re becoming the drunk who never buys a round.

Annie: So this is the future. Really?
Eve: For you, yeah.
Annie: Do people have jet packs?
Eve: No. No, mostly everyone’s dead.

Eve: We’re just days away, you know. The Old Ones arrive soon. That’s when it starts. At first no one believed it. They’d heard rumors but there were no photos, no footage. Then vampires killed the Prime Minister on national television.
Annie: And, um, what did we do?
Eve: You wanted to get me somewhere safe. But the airports were under siege, so you brought me here. You, me and Tom. But everyone else had the same idea. There must have been fifty thousand people here, climbing onto ferries, yachts, container ships and tugboats. The Biblical Exodus. You told me the ships were groaning with the weight of them. And then the screams started. Vampires started killing people from the back of the crowd. There was this huge surge as everyone pushed forward, trying to get away. But there was nowhere for them to go. They just… You told me it was like the water was boiling. So many people.
Annie: Someone must have fought back.
Eve: Oh of course. Yeah, the whole country stayed under human control for awhile, but they’d get so overwhelmed by refugees they had to start closing their borders and negotiating with the vampires. And then eventually they fell too.

Annie: Um… I’m not saying that I believe that you are, um, you know… who you say you are.
Eve: But?
Annie: Aren’t you the savior?
Eve: I am.
Annie: Then why is this happening, why don’t you stop it?
Eve: Because of you.
Annie: Me? How?
Eve: We’re getting to that.

Cutler: Funny thing is, I’ve been thinking about you recently. Maybe that’s why I buried the coroner there.
Hal: As a message for me?
Cutler: No, nothing like that. I really did think you were proper dead. No, more of an homage because of what I’m doing, I guess.
Hal: Which is?
Cutler: You’re very curious. That’s new.

Cutler: This is the crucible. This is where the Old Ones are headed. But here you are. Now that’s not the behavior of someone who wants to stay hidden.
Hal: When do they arrive?
Cutler: Soon, I guess. No one knows. You’re a circumspect bunch.

Cutler: Look, you could go straight to the top of the pile. That’s cool. That’s your rightful place. All I ask for in return is when they write the history of what’s about to happen, they give me a mention. And a statue. And maybe Brazil.

Hal: Believe me, only a matter of the utmost importance would compel me to disturb you at such an ungodly hour.
Rachel: Well if it’s important.
Hal: No. We are denying him the company of an angel. He shall be with you in a matter of moments. {she leaves} Fucking kill her.

Annie: Why are you looking at me like that?
Eve: I haven’t seen you since I was eighteen. I’ve missed you.

Hal: I like your neck.
Alex: Are you aiming for enigmatic? Or… Because what I’m getting is sociopath.
Hal: I bet your skin tastes of salt.
Alex: Okay, you know this is getting a little old. But lucky for you I’m yet to have sex under a coalition government, so…

Alex: Hal, don’t do this. Just be nice.
Hal: I’m not nice.
Alex: So pretend.

Eve: Tell me about Tom.
Annie: I thought you knew him.
Eve: Not very well.
Annie: Well he’s a child. He’s lovely. He’s like a pet. A bloody big one. Like a Saint Bernard or a horse or something. But you know he’s physically incapable of lying or being cruel. So I do worry about him. Almost as much as I worry about you…. um, you know who. But he’s, yeah, he’s just a kid really. He shouldn’t be killing vampires, he should be getting disappointing A-level results.
Eve: He died here. A few years ago the vampires rounded up all the humans and werewolves they could find. The humans were branded with an “H” and the werewolves with a “W” and put into these camps. There was an outbreak of cholera. Hundreds died. And the vampires brought back the dogfights.
Annie: That’s what happened to Tom?
Eve: He was a cold man. Difficult to like, if I’m honest. There were rumors he killed some humans by accident and never got over it. Some say he held back during his final dogfight. Even after he transformed. He’d rather have died than kill again.

Annie: And where did I go?
Eve: After everything fell apart, you buried friend after friend. You began to lose control of your tangibility ’til eventually you just… drifted apart. Like smoke on the breeze.
Annie: Glad I asked.

Annie: You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?
Eve: Oh yeah. Yeah. It’s Christmas.

Eve: I wanted to show you what happened to Hal.
Annie: Don’t tell me. They chopped him into little pieces and sprinkled him over the HMS Belfast.
Eve: Turn around.
Annie: That’s Hal.
Eve: One of their most ruthless commanders. Those camps I showed you, they were his idea. His violent, sadistic and, well, quite literally their poster boy.

Eve: You see my history and yours started to separate the moment I appeared to Leo and Pearl and Hal.
Annie: That was you. Why?
Eve: I’ve been trying to rewrite history. I thought getting Hal into the house would do that.

Eve: We’re done now. I’m taking you home. And then I’ll tell you what you need to do.

Hal: We can raid the dressing up box and pretend to be human, but ultimately what’s the point? Sooner or later we all go back to being the monsters we truly are.

Hal: And then what happens?
Cutler: The reveal. “Who will save us from the Big Bad Wolf?” Bum bah dah dah! It’s us.
We have created a nightmare and now we will provide the antidote.

Hal: This is insane.
Cutler: I knew you’d be like this. As soon as you came back I could smell that mercy on you like cigarette smoke.

Hal: We weren’t sure if you would work it out when you tasted the blood. I don’t know if it works like that between husbands and wives. Well. {handing over the lost bet} Apparently not.

Hal: Don’t you understand what I’ve done. I’ve set you free.

Cutler: You can’t do this! You’re Hal Yorke! I’m gonna heave.
Hal: Remember what you were?
Cutler: What I was?! Now you stole that from me! You dragged me into this world, you killed my wife. You turned me into a murderer, an addict. You made me abandon my whole species!
Hal: I know. And there aren’t words to tell you how sorry I—
Cutler: No! No, you do not do that and then apologize! No sir.
Hal: I can’t let this happen, Cutler. I will kill you if I have to. But I will not let you take their world. We don’t deserve it.

Alex: Just when I thought this holiday could not possibly get any worse.

Annie: Okay. What is it you want me to do?
Eve: Kill me.

Eve: All my life I’ve been carried around like a mascot, while the world around me crumbled and burned. I didn’t understand. Wasn’t I supposed to stop this happening. Then I got the final piece of the scripture. And there it was: in order to fulfill her destiny, the War Child must die. It was too late for me to change my world, but maybe I could stop it ever happening.
Annie: So you sent Hal?
Eve: Hal is a monster in my world. I assumed he’d kill me as soon as he worked out who I was. When that didn’t work I sent Kirby.
Annie: You put that animal in my home?
Eve: You’ve seen what was at stake.
Annie: I can’t kill you. All that stuff about the burnt arm, the Nemesis.
Eve: I’m the killer. I orchestrated this. You’re just the knife.
Annie: The burn.
Eve: Savior and Nemesis. Talk about multi-tasking.
Annie: You were in one of those camps?
Eve: They didn’t know who I was. I always had false papers. I was just rounded up with the others.
Annie: Eve, I am so sorry.
Eve: Look I could send a thousand threats, but Kirby made me realize your love for me would always defeat them. So I had to come to you direct. Show you the world you created.

Annie: Was I a good mother? I’m not fishing or anything, I just want to make sure that you felt loved.
Eve: It wasn’t a world for children. But yeah. You were. The best.
Annie: You’re very brave. And I am proud of that.
Eve: You make a bloody good cup of tea.
Annie: That’s my girl.

Eve: Remember. A moment will come when you have to choose between letting me live and letting me die. If you want to stop this from happening, you have to let me die.

Annie: Tom. The Old Ones might be here any day now. To stop them we might have to… do terrible things.
Tom: What choice do we have?
Annie: It’s not fair though.
Tom: No.

Cutler: Have you got a baby in there?
Tom: Yeah. George and Nina’s.
Cutler: The War Child?
Tom: Don’t tell me you believe all that.
Cutler: I thought Regus killed her.
Tom: No. He slipped her to Annie during the kerfuffle.

Hal: We have to stop Cutler. You don’t know what he’s going to do.
Alex: Yeah, I do actually. Before he killed me, he monologued the whole thing. I didn’t know people actually did that.

Tom: Those aren’t vampires.

Hal: Anyway, must dash. Friend about to kill lots of people.

Alex: I’m really dead, aren’t I? This is all actually happening. I don’t understand. I came here for a holiday and now I’m dead.

Snow (Mark Gatiss): Well then. Who’s hungry?

View all quotes from Making History

The War Child

Alex: Why am I still here? Does everyone just become a ghost for a wee bit?
Hal: No. No, you must have unfinished business. Something we must resolve before you can pass over.
Alex: Well we can poke around my business later. First I want to beat seven shades of shite out of Cutler. Hey, maybe that is my unfinished business.
Hal: Unfinished business tends to be something more life-affirming than beating someone up.
Alex: Not if you’re Scottish.

Tom: I ain’t never felt frightening before. Thank you. I could have killed all those people. I could have killed you.
Hal: Alex got the people out. I just lured you into the van.
Tom: I can’t believe I let it happen. I’m always dead stealthy with my transformations.
Hal: I’ve taken a step backwards too. I’ve been drinking blood. The first time was genuinely to gain Cutler’s trust. The second one wasn’t.
Tom: Where are you now?
Hal: Leo once said we are on the outside of humanity so that we might guard it. He made it sound like a privilege rather than a burden.
Tom: I don’t think any of us deserve that job anymore.
Hal: Then we must earn it back.

Hal: You don’t understand. Snow is one of the first. The blood that’s passed from vampire to recruit—generation after generation—you can trace it back to him. He’s in our DNA.

Tom: Annie, the Old Ones have arrived. We saw ’em at the warehouse.
Annie: Yeah, Eve said they’d be here soon.
Hal: Eve’s been here the whole time.
Annie: Grown-up Eve. She died an adult, travelled back through Purgatory to find me because there was something I needed to know. She took me in to her corridor. {Alex snickers}
Alex: “Took me into her corridor.” Sorry. Misjudged the mood.

Annie: I had to see how terrible the future is. Because what I have to do to stop it is really really hard. Eve must die. It’s the last part of the myth. Eve saves humanity by dying.
Hal: Does the Nemesis—whoever it is with the burn—is that who kills her?
Annie: She is the Nemesis. She has the burn. I’m just the weapon.
Tom: Right. First off we need to get her out of here.
Annie: This is not a group decision.

Hal: Annie, are you saying you might hurt Eve?
Annie: How could you even say that to me! I could never ever hurt a child!
Hal: But if someone else tried to harm her what would you do then?

Alex: Do vampires die if you blow them up?
Hal: Most things die if you blow them up. Sadly, we can’t. What with us not living in a cartoon!
Tom: Well actually, Mr. Bloody Radio Four, we can. And I’ll show you how. My team, with me.

Hal: That’s all that junk you’ve been gathering.
Tom: Well you didn’t really think I was building a swimming pool in the back garden, didja?
Hal: How long have you been planning this?
Tom: Not really been planning anything. Just picked up off of McNair. “Always be kind and polite and have the materials to build a bomb”.

Hal: You really are one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met.
Tom: Alright, calm down.

Hal: Let me come too.
Tom: Well then you’ll cop it along.
Hal: I’ve had a good innings.
Tom: What if Mr. Snow tells you not to?
Hal: Then you must being matters to a swift conclusion.
Tom: I didn’t think you liked to shake hands.
Hal: Well then today is a day of firsts. And lasts.

Alex: Who the hell were they?
Hal: I have no idea. But they weren’t vampires, or they’d have seen you.

Snow: I want you to run Britain for me. When the hurly burly’s done.
Hal: “The Devil showed him all the kingdoms of the world and said, ‘All this I will give you if you will bow down and worship me.'”
Snow: You think I’m tempting you? Surely the point of temptation is to prompt a decision that’s not yet been made.
Hal: What do you mean?
Snow: What do you stay alive for? That endless scurrying from bad to good to bad again. Must have been exhausting. And each return to bad brought with it a little flurry of debts. Tell me, if you admired humans so much, why do you keep inflicting your failures upon them.
Hal: Because I think one day I’ll win.
Snow: And if the lion wishes hard enough, perhaps one day he’ll become a man.

Hal: You have a whole army. Why this interest in me?
Snow: For time spent. Services rendered. Blood shed. But it’s not just that. Having one of the Old Ones on the outside. I don’t like the aesthetic.
Hal: Then I could flee. I’ve hid from you for fifty-five years. I can do it again.
Snow: Back to Southend? With a new werewolf and ghost like Leo and Pearl and Tom and Annie? Something about that format clearly appears to you.
Hal: How did you know?
Snow: Oh Hal. You weren’t hiding. I was just giving you the afternoon off.

Hal: I don’t want any part of this.
Snow: A man who wants to stop gambling doesn’t move to Las Vegas.

Hal: You were right. I stayed here because I knew you were coming. But not to join you. There was something else I had to do. Tom, get the baby and get out. It’ll never end. I’ll never be free until I do this.
Snow: There’s no shame in this, I want you to know that.
Hal: Get back.
Snow: It’s just the death rattle of your humanity. Mercy’s last hurrah.

Hal: Why are you doing this?
Tom: ‘Cause you’re me best mate.

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