Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose
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Clyde Bruckman (Peter Boyle): “I foresee a rocky romantic affair between superstar Madonna and super witness Kato Kaelin.” You guys are kidding me. That’s not really going out on a limb, is it? “I foresee JD Salinger finally publishing a new novel and hitting the talkshow circuit to promote it.” That’s just playing the odds. “I foresee the revelation that, not Elvis, but Buddy Holly is still alive, having faked his own death so many years ago. Holly will not only reemerge but also regroup The Crickets and they will headline at next year’s Lollapolla…” Lollapollazooza? What the hell is Lollapollazzo?
Clerk: Who’s Buddy Holly?
Stupendous Yappi (Jaap Broeker): Skeptics like you make me sick!
Mulder: Mr. Yappi, read this thought.
Yappi shocked: So’s your old man!
Bruckman: Do you want to know how you’re going to die?
Mulder: Yes. Yes, I would.
Bruckman: No you don’t. Of course not knowing has its own drawbacks which is why a good insurance policy is so important. I don’t know what kind of coverage the FBI has, but General Mutual…
Mulder: If the future is written than why even bother to do anything?
Bruckman: Now you’re catching on.
Bruckman: You know there are worse ways to go, but I can’t think of a more undignified one than autoerotic asphyxiation.
Mulder: Why are you telling me that?
Bruckman: Look, forget I mentioned it. It’s none of my business.
Mulder: Do you remember the first time you foresaw someone’s death?
Mulder: What happened in 1959?
Bruckman: Buddy Holly’s plane crash.
Scully: You prognosticated Buddy Holly’s death?
Bruckman: Oh god no. Why would I want to do that?
Bruckman: The killer’s going to kill more people before you catch him.
Scully: Can you see him physically yet?
Bruckman: No. No, just more insight into his character, which I know you hate. He thinks he’s psychic.
Mulder: Is he?
Bruckman: I hope not.
Tarot Reader (Alex Diakun): You’ve come to me because you’re searching for somebody. But don’t worry. This person will find you. It’s a relative or close friend.
Killer (Stu Charno): Actually the guy I’m going to kill.
Bruckman: I see us quite clearly in bed together. You’re holding my hand. very tenderly. You’re looking at me with such compassion. And I feel… tears are streaming down my face. I feel so grateful. It’s just a very special moment neither of us will forget.
Scully: Mr. Bruckman, there are hits and there are misses. And then there are misses.
Bruckman: I just call ’em as I see ’em.
Scully: Alright, so how do I die?
Bruckman: You don’t.
Mulder: If my Miss Manners serves me right, that protrusion from his left cornea is a salad fork.