The Mallpisode

Ryan: This thing with Lindsay is… different.
Seth: Different how?
Ryan: Different as in not fixed by pancakes. And don’t ask me how I feel about waffles.
Seth: Got it.

Seth: This thing with Lindsay is just really kicking Ryan’s ass.
Summer: Which is why it’s a good thing we’re like the Marines.
Seth: How are we like the Marines?
Summer: We leave no man behind. Look, Lindsay may have turned her back on Ryan, but we won’t. No. You have got to cheer him up. Semper Fi.
Seth: Oh, Semper Fi. That’s so cute.

Seth: And besides, now with Lindsay out of the picture, maybe Ryan and Marissa will get back together.
Summer: Are you crazy? They’re like the worst couple ever. And besides Marissa’s happy now.
Seth: Okay, and by happy you mean gay.

Julie: Why this guy? He launched a magazine called The Ugly Americans.

Seth: Ah. Father. I’m glad to see you finally found your calling.
Caleb: Exactly what I said.
Sandy: Ah, nothing like a good crack about a plumber.

Carter Buckley (Billy Campbell): Look, I just don’t think the world needs more proclamations about how Mukluks are the new Uggs.
Kirsten: Our bar’s not that low.
Julie: He’s right about Mukluks. Write that down.

As Ryan and Seth crawl through the duct system
Seth: Hey, Ryan what did I tell you. Isn’t this great? It’s like Goonies meets Die Hard by way of Mission Impossible. With I think a… slight hint of National Treasure.

Summer: Trapped in a department store. Which is like my ultimate fantasy.
Ryan: Okay, and what if we get caught?
Summer: We’ll be stealth.

Ryan: So what do we do now?
Summer: I have an idea. puts on a hockey mask.
Ryan: You’re going to kill us all with a chainsaw?

Lance (Johnny Messner): Actually, I have something for you.
Julie: Yeah? Last time you gave me something I drank cranberry juice for a week.

Julie: Alex, and I’m not saying this to be mean. Because you actually seem like a nice enough girl, and… I like your pants. But you’re this week’s yard guy.

Julie to Alex, about Marissa: She’s only really been in love once, and he looked a little different in a wife beater.

About the Skill Crane ring prize
Caleb: You really want that ring, don’t you?
Sandy: More than anything.
Caleb: I’ll get more quarters.

Seth: How is it that Ryan and Marissa are now the functioning couple?
Summer: Oh my god, we can not be more annoying than Ryan and Marissa. They’re monsters.
Seth: I like monsters.