The Dark Night

Gossip Girl: In these last hazy days of summer, a few simple tips to beat the heat. One: drink plenty of fluids. Two: stay out of the sun. Three: limit all physical activity. That is, within reason.

Marcus (Patrick Heusinger): I thought you wanted my help with this party you’re hosting.
Blair: A back-to-school party for seniors and my parents. It can wait.
Marcus: But someone could walk in.
Dorota.
Blair: So? Did you see Atonement? That scene in the library when they’re discovered.
Marcus: Blair, that’s not you.
Blair: It’s not?
Marcus: You’re a delicate little flower. Nothing like that trollop Keira Knightley.

Gossip Girl: And if the heat’s still too much, there’s always a cold shower.

Jenny: He only did that to spare you his family drama. Which is even more proof he likes you.
Vanessa (Jessica Szohr): And calling won’t look desperate?
Jenny: It might? It will. It will. But in a cute romantic way.

Catherine (Mädchen Amick): What happened to the money I gave you?
Nate: It’s gone. But I can pay you back as soon as our accounts are unfrozen.
Catherine: Which won’t be until your father gets back from… where was it again? Dominica?
Nate: I told you that in confidence.
Catherine: You told me that in bed.

Dan: A coming out party?
Serena: Well sooner or later people are going to figure out we’re dating. We’re not exactly the world’s most covert secret couple.
Dan: Yeah, my family’s getting curious about my new friend Clive that keeps calling… and calling.

Gossip Girl: Spotted: S and Lonely Boy locking lips like all is forgiven. Will Round Two be any different?

Rufus: And you two have worked out all your issues?
Dan: Um yeah. Yep. Got ’em all squared away.

Nate to Vanessa: When you called today it just felt like I could breathe again. So. I want to do this. I want to make this—us—right.

Gossip Girl: Rumor is Nate Archibald has a hidden lady. Careful, N. Secrets don’t keep long in this heat.

Serena: Eleanor comes home today. You excited she finally gets to meet Marcus?
Blair: And see why he’s so wonderful. It’s not often you find a man who’s intelligent, sophisticated, has an appreciation for Golden Age Hollywood and is a gentleman to boot. You know he hasn’t pressured me about sex once. Once. Not once.

Serena: Why can’t you support me?
Blair: Have you two talked about everything? About all the very real reasons you broke up last year?
Serena: Not completely.
Blair: Well when you do, if you’re still together, I’ll be happy for you. ‘Til then I just think you’re fooling yourselves.

Chuck: So you seen Blair and Lord Fauntleroy recently?
Nate: No. Are you doing okay?
Chuck: I confess I’ve been a little off my game. But I’m expecting a return to form very soon.
Butler: Sir? The flight from Tokyo has landed.
Nate: So I can see. Konichiwa.

Laurel (Michelle Hurd): Jenny?
Jenny: Yeah, I know. I’ll clean the atelier as soon as I’m finished here, okay?
Laurel: The bathrooms too. Someone decided to give us a second look at breakfast.

Laurel: Remember the little birds that helped her dress? Remember how they didn’t offer their opinion? Try to imagine that you’re one of those birds. Can you do that?
Jenny: Yeah.
Laurel: Good. Now fly away.

Dan to the Gossip Girl fan club: This is both creepy and none of your business. So if you could just go. Just run along.

Blair: You think I’m just going to sit back and watch you have an affair with my boyfriend’s mother? Guess again.
Nate: So what are your plans? To distract me with Vanessa?
Blair: Yes. What about it?
Nate: It’s just as your plans go it’s kind of nice.
Blair: A? Don’t be offensive. And B. From what I just witnessed if you want to keep her you’re going to have to step it up.

Blair: Duchess, it’s me. He’s bringing her. And for the record, whatever you’re planning with Nate? My bedroom floor’s off limits.

Serena: Who was that?
Chuck: A little whiff of the Far East.
Serena: Sometimes I envy you. The way you just— Ew. What am I saying? You’re disgusting.
Chuck: Relax. Nothing happened with Madame Butterfly.
Serena: Yeah. right.
Chuck: No. Nothing happened. Same as nothing’s been happening all week.
Serena: What are you talking about? You’ve had different girls every day. No.
Chuck: I’ll take your incredulity as a compliment.
Serena: C’mon. You must have tried—
Chuck: Everything. From the erotic to the pharmaceutical.
Serena: I’m sorry. I’m not laughing. It’s just so obvious you’re not over Blair. Look, c’mon, this is your body’s way of telling you.
Chuck: I don’t have a romantic bone in my body. Least of all that one.

Eleanor (Margaret Colin): So now interns have opinions. I have been gone awhile.

Rufus: I thought you and Dan were leaving for the party.
Vanessa: Yeah, we’re supposed to.
Rufus: He’s not still reading one of those “Dan/Serena: Should They/Shouldn’t They” threads, is he?
Vanessa: Last I checked, yeah.

Chuck to Blair: You can’t tell me Bertie Wooster is satisfying your needs. Titles aside, a suit of armor makes for a cold bedfellow.

Nate: So you used my friends for some power play to prove you’re the one in control.
Catherine: I don’t like sharing my toys, especially if I paid for them.

Gossip Girl: Sorry to break it to you, B. But this party just went over to the dark side.

Catherine: Blair, have you seen Nate?
Blair: Um, no. It’s a blackout.

Jenny: It looks like a pilgrim at a funeral. I’m sorry.
Eleanor: You’re absolutely right.
Jenny: I am?
Eleanor: Yep. Don’t let it go to your head.

Gossip Girl: Looks like Lady B is determined to have it all. The question is, who with?

Eleanor: I spent the last month going around and meeting with the stores and boutiques that carry my clothes.
Jenny: That must have been so exciting.
Eleanor: I felt like a fat cheerleader.

Serena: I forgive you for Georgina.
Dan: And I forgive you for…. I don’t know.

Serena: I can’t change who I am, Dan.
Dan: Me neither. So what happens now?
Serena: I don’t really feel like talking.
Dan: Yeah. Me neither.

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Lady B acting not so lady-like. Hope you kept the receipt for that tiara, B.

Marcus: Did you really not know it was him? Can you honestly tell me that?
Blair: No I knew it was him.
Marcus: Thank you.
Blair: But I want you.
Marcus: No, Blair. You want my title.

Jenny: Why are you wearing a jacket? It’s like a hundred degrees.
Rufus: Well I was on a—
Jenny: On a date?
Rufus: Yeah. I was going to tell you guys I’ve been dating. Claire, Jenny. Jenny, Claire.
Jenny: Hi. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Just not when I was all gross and sweaty.

Jenny: The lights are on. Aren’t I fired?
Rufus: You got fired?
Eleanor: Oh, don’t be so dramatic.

Serena: I’m scared.
Dan: I know. Me too.
Serena: When I step out of here it’s over.
Dan: I think, I think it was already. It just took us this long to realize. To get used to the idea. Serena? I still…
Serena: I know. Me too. the door closes. I love you.

Gossip Girl: Love may fade with the season, but some friendships are year round. Like you and me. You know you love me. XOXO —Gossip Girl