Gossip Girl: Summer is coming to a close. And as everyone knows, Paris—like the Upper East Side—empties out in August. Leaving behind only the tourists and the dreamers, lamenting the imminent return to real life.
Serena: I can’t believe it’s almost time to go back to New York already.
Blair: I know. And you still haven’t made your Sophie’s Choice between Brooklyn and the Upper East Side. Serena rolls her eyes. What? If you go back with an uncertain heart there will be drama and disaster for all.
Serena: It’s like choosing between eclairs and Napoleons. They’re both delicious.
Blair: Except Humphrey’s a doughnut. Well. I would love to stay and talk patisserie, but I have to get ready for my perfect Parisian date.
Serena: Wait, what? You got Louis to give you a second chance? B, that’s great!
Blair: And to prove I care about more than his title I’ve planned a day of polite interaction with the proletariat. Think Diana, Princess of the People. Obviously I’ll wear gloves.
Lily: I’m sorry to bother you on your last day, Serena. I got a very upsetting phone call from the Paris police.
Serena: Ugh. If it’s about Blair pushing me in the fountain I’m not pressing charges.
Lily: They pulled a body out of the river. And found Charles’ wallet.
Serena: Oh my god. You don’t think it’s him, do you?
Lily: Well it would be a lot easier not to panic if someone had heard from him or he had been paying the Empire bills. Listen, um, sweetheart, they need a family member to identify the body. If it’s too much for you I will be on the next flight.
Serena: No. No, I’m here. I can do it.
Nate: I’m sorry for the seven hour long story.
Juliet Sharpe (Katie Cassidy): Are you kidding? Serena took her best friend’s boyfriend’s virginity, ran away to boarding school, bounced from guy to guy. Until dating your married congressman cousin. Fell in love with you and then cheated on you with your friend who’s also her ex?
Juliet: The only thing that would make it better is if one of those boyfriends turned out to be her brother.
Nate: Well does step-brother count?
Juliet: The life of Serena van der Woodsen is like the most complicated Jane Austen novel ever.
Insp. Chevalier (Ronald Guttman): The body was in no condition for fingerprints, but we found this. shows her a wallet and passport.
Serena: That’s his.
Insp. Chevalier: We’re testing the blood on the wallet. Do you need a moment to gather yourself?
Serena: No amount of time will ever make this okay.
Eva: Five more minutes.
Chuck: As pleasurable as those 300 seconds sound, your uncle was already generous enough to help the strange American you brought home from Prague. I don’t want to be late for my first day on the job.
Eva (Clémence Poésy): You’re a good man, Henry Prince. Too good.
Dan to the tune of This Land is Your Land: This loft is your loft, this loft is my loft. Where’s your Aunt Jenny, she moved to Hudson. She wears— leggings…
Nate: Wow. I did not need to see or…. hear that.
Gossip Girl: They say it’s easy to forget your troubles when the weather’s warm. But all it takes is one fall breeze to blow reality right back in your face.
Blair: What are you doing? Suddenly we’re stopping for pedestrians? Vite!
GG: Watch out Blair. He who sows the wind reaps the storm.
Juliet: Vanessa, you’re amazing with him.
Dan: Yeah, she’s a serious Baby Whisperer.
Serena: B, I went to the morgue today.
Blair: What is that, a sex club?
Serena: A place where they keep dead bodies. I had to identify one because he had Chuck’s I.D.. Don’t worry, it wasn’t him.
Blair: I’m not worried.
Serena: But Blair I just hung up with my mom and Chuck is missing.
Blair: Well consider him found. He was in the Rue de Charenton an hour ago.
Blair: He’s stalking me.
Serena: Well what did he say when you saw him?
Blair: Nothing. He looked away and I kept driving.
Serena: That doesn’t sound very stalkerish.
Blair: It’s Chuck. It’s probably part of some elaborate scheme.
Blair: Trust me, the only thing wrong with Chuck is that I’m going to be happy without him.
Lily: Now whatever you might believe, your son is in Brooklyn struggling to take care of a baby. So you can sit here and brood all by yourself or you can come with me and help turn Jenny’s room into a nursery so that child has a proper place to sleep.
Serena: My friend saw him around here this morning. He has an intimate relationship with alcohol so I figured I’d check all the bars first.
Eva: Tell me you didn’t rob a bank?
Chuck: My grandfather left me a small inheritance. I’ve just been waiting for the right thing to spend it on.
Eva: Well it doesn’t look small to me.
Chuck: It’s enough to get us to London. Then Kerala.
Serena: Chuck, it’s you.
Eva: Who’s here?
Serena: Oh hi. I’m Serena van der Woodsen. I’m really sorry to show up like this. I’ve just been looking for Chuck everywhere.
Eva: Henry, what is she talking about?
Chuck: I don’t know. to Serena. The man you’re looking for is not here.
Gossip Girl: Holy Bruce Wayne, Batman. It’s one thing to hide who you really are. It’s another to pretend you don’t exist.
Louis (Hugo Becker): I had no idea you had such deep appreciation for street food. I’m quite surprised that your favorite restaurant is on Rue de la Huchette.
Blair: Yes well, the masterpieces of the Louvre don’t compare to the simple pleasures of a kebab.
Vanessa: Stop. Talking.
Dan: You know I’m not good at that.
Chuck: I had a feeling you’d linger.
Serena: I’m not going to leave. Chuck, today I had to identify a body that the police thought was you. Did you do something to that man? If it was self-defense I’m sure that they would understand.
Chuck: I never touched that thief.
Serena: So is Blair right? Is this another one of your games?
Chuck: Do I look like I’m playing?
Serena: I know more than anyone what it’s like to want to reinvent yourself. But just because people are mad at you doesn’t mean you should disappear. My mom is really worried about you.
Chuck: I’m sure she’ll come to celebrate my absence. As will all the people who’ve wished me dead since the day I was born.
Serena: I know things were bad in New York, but if you don’t come home you’ll lose the Empire, you’ll lose everything you ever cared about.
Chuck: I lost the only thing I cared about. They can have everything else.
Serena: I don’t know what you told that girl, but you can’t turn your back on who you really are.
Chuck: I’m going to see an old associate. I’m picking up a passport with my new name on it. After today there is no Chuck Bass.
Serena: I’m staying at Eleanor and Cyrus’ when you realize that’s not true.
Serena: Oh wow. A coronation already. The date must have gone well.
Blair: The fairytale is back on as long as the evil Queen doesn’t ruin it.
Serena: Well if you’re talking about Chuck, don’t worry. The only person he wants to poison is himself.
Blair: You talked to Chuck? No! I don’t care. I don’t even want to know what he said. I’ve been waiting all summer to feel sparkly again and I won’t be pulled back into the darkness.
Chuck: “I’d rather have nothing than be Chuck Bass.”
Blair: No. I can’t do anymore of these prince and pauper games.
I’m sorry Madame. Monsieur simply asked me to escort you for one final touch before the gala. Would you like to come with me to Harry Winston?
Blair: Would I?
Gossip Girl: Spotted: One American, leaving Paris. Au revoir, l’enfant terrible.
Blair: Shouldn’t you be out dealing with your own issues instead of hunting me down?
Serena: I didn’t even know you were here. Why are you here?
Blair: Why are you?
Insp. Chevalier: I see that you have found Monsieur Bass’ stolen property.
Blair: Mr. Bass’ property. The ring is his?
Serena: That’s why I’m here. Insp. Chevalier asked me to claim it.
Insp. Chevalier: The thieves couldn’t pawn such a valuable piece in their usual haunts in Prague. So they came to Paris to try to return it for the cash. Harry Winston knew Msr. Bass was the original purchaser. That’s when they called us. And the body you saw was one of the thieves.
Serena: So why was Chuck’s blood on the wallet?
Insp. Chevalier: Msr. Bass would not let go of the ring. He fought them hard, so they shot him.
Blair: Chuck was shot?
Lily: Surprise. It’s time for an Extreme Nursery Makeover.
Serena: You know that ring was meant for you. He was gonna propose to you on top of the Empire State Building.
Blair: I can’t care about that. It doesn’t change what he did instead. Jenny Humphrey.
Serena: B, I know how much he hurt you. He knows how much he hurt you. That’s why he signed over the Empire and everything he owns to my mom.
Blair: Well, hopefully she can run it without entering the human flesh trade.
Serena: Blair he almost died holding on to that ring and to the hope of you.
Blair: I forgave him. For something no one else in the world would ever get over. Then he turned around and did the one thing he knew I could never let go.
Serena: But you don’t need to forgive him. You don’t even need to talk to him again after today. But I know you and you’ll always regret it if you do nothing and just let him disappear.
Nate: I’m sorry.
Dan: I know.
Nate: Truth is, I don’t even know how I feel about Serena. I just, I want a clear shot at finding out without —
Dan: You don’t have to say it.
Nate: Yeah. How do you feel about her?
Dan: I was in the middle of trying to figure that out when I was interrupted by the arrival of Georgina’s swollen belly. It was kind of hard to focus after that.
Nate: I’ll take your word for it.
Eva to Serena: I knew it was too good to be true. Who is she?
Blair: Just because you’re dressed poorly doesn’t mean you’re not Chuck Bass.
Chuck: Why would I want to be him?
Blair: You should have told me you got shot.
Chuck: I’m surprised you didn’t shoot me yourself.
Blair: I have. Many times. In my dreams. The good ones. But if you were really hurt I’d want to know.
Chuck: When I woke up my ID was gone. Nobody knew who I was, nobody was coming to look for me. I realized I might be alive but Chuck Bass doesn’t have to be.
Blair: Changing your name doesn’t change who you are.
Chuck: It’s a good start. A chance to live simply, earn people’s respect. Maybe become a person someone could love.
Blair: Someone did love you. And… you owe it to her and everyone else you’re leaving behind not to run away. Which is what you’re doing. And I don’t think that great man you’re talking about wanting to be is a coward. I think he would face up to what he did.
Chuck: I destroyed the only thing I ever loved.
Blair: I don’t love you anymore. But it takes more than even you to destroy Blair Waldorf.
Chuck: Your world would be easier if I didn’t come back.
Blair: That’s true. But it wouldn’t be my world without you in it.
Serena: It doesn’t feel right to be in New York without you.
Blair: Did the plane ride back to reality land you on either Nate or Dan?
Serena: Not exactly.
Blair: How could you spend seven hours on a plane with a library of romantic comedies and not find clarity?
Serena: Trust me, I tried. I even made a list of pros and cons. “Dan: good shoulder to cry on. Nate: good shoulders.”
Dan: Now whatever’s happened in the past, right here, right now, I want to be with you.
Louis: I hope your calling me means your business is complete.
Blair: It is. I’m sorry it distracted me from your parents’ ball.
Louis: In Paris there is always another ball. The Sarkozys are saluting Jerry Lewis tomorrow night. If you’re not otherwise engaged.
Blair: There’s nothing I’d rather do than salute Jerry Lewis. But I can’t live in this fairy tale.
Louis: I promise this is not a story for little girls.
Blair: But I’ve been using it to run away from my real life on the Upper East Side. Someone there did something for me that I have to honor.
Louis: Will I ever see you again?
Blair: You can always come find me. hands him her shoe. It’s Vivier. It’s worth a hell of a lot more than a glass slipper.
Rufus to Milo: Milo, I think you have the Humphrey jaw.
Serena: Mom! Hey!
Lily: Serena. Darling, what are you doing here?
Serena: Larissa told me where you were. I came straight from the airport.
Lily: Well we have a surprise for you.
Serena: Great. But first I want to find Dan and Nate.
Dan: Find me? I’m right here.
Serena: Dan! And Vanessa! Hey…
Nate: Hey Serena.
Juliet: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Rufus: Hey Serena.
Serena: Rufus and… baby?
Dan: This is Milo. He’s my son.
Vanessa: You saw me four months ago. If you thought I was pregnant then I’m offended.
Serena: Okay, is someone gonna help fill me in?
Nate: Not it.
Dan: Yeah, I will explain everything. Just sit down, I gotta get him a bottle.
Gossip Girl: With Dan spotted kissing Vanessa and Nate’s early morning coffees with a new blonde, it looks like the oddsmakers have taken a beating. Serena van der Woodsen will be walking onto Columbia’s campus single. This poll is now closed. And nobody won.
Gossip Girl: Just as every summer ends, all tourists come home. All dreamers wake up. And new problems are born.
Lily: Rufus, enough conspiracy theories! Look, the closest you’ve been to medical school is having a Lincoln Hawk song licensed for Chicago Hope.
Gossip Girl: And just like that, a pretty girl’s ugly secret is revealed.
Juliet on the phone: I had to improvise but it’s done. I’ll see you soon and we’ll talk about what’s next. Take care. Hang in there. I miss you.
Eva: When you didn’t come home last night I assumed you’d left with that girl.
Chuck: I owe you an apology. I don’t expect you to understand but where I’m from people lie and cheat and destroy whoever gets in their way. I did it better than any of them. When you dragged me in from that alley, you didn’t just save my life you gave me the hope of a new one.
Eva: Well, the you I’ve been living with never did anything to be ashamed of. I hope you’ll bring some of him with you back to your world.
Chuck: I fully intend to. If you’ll come with me.
Eva: To New York? You got me a ticket?
Chuck: We don’t need tickets. I’m Chuck Bass.
Gossip Girl: But no matter what the new season brings, we’ll always have Paris. Bisou bisou —Gossip Girl.