Gossip Girl Chuck Bass

Season 2


Ed Westwick

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Summer, Kind of Wonderful

The story continues…

Chuck: Girls you don’t know how thankful I am to have finally found a use for geometry in my daily life.

Serena: This is the first time I’ve seen you look in the mirror all summer. Here I thought if you did you’d turn to stone. Must be pretty nervous about something if you’re willing to take that risk.
Chuck: Ha ha, Sis. I’m on my way out to Lily Pond. With the triplets returning to Rio I thought I’d continue my tour of South America. Maybe Argentina.
Serena: Then what are the flowers for? You wouldn’t perhaps have heard a recent phone call with a certain best friend of mine. Who mentioned she’s on her way of here on the Jitney.
Chuck: What’s a Jitney?
Serena: If that’s your way of saying No then I’m glad to hear it. ‘Cause Blair will never forgive you for what you did to her.
Chuck: Who told you that little piece of advice, your boyfriend Nate?
Serena: Nate didn’t say anything.
Chuck: Good. ‘Cause I don’t think it’s wise taking relationship advice from somebody in a fake relationship. Call me crazy. Enjoy another night alone with your thoughts.
Serena: Good luck on your suicide mission.

Chuck: You’re lying.
Blair: I am not!
Chuck: Your eyes are doing that thing where they don’t match your mouth.
Blair: I wasn’t aware that robots got jealous. Did they update your software while I was away?

About James
Blair: I bet you’ll like him just as much as I do.
Chuck: Oh and if by that you mean I won’t like him at all, you’re right.

Eric: “How well do you know Blair Waldorf?” is kind of boring for those of us that know Blair Waldorf.
Celia: Not to mention transparent.
Chuck: Well thank you, Grandma.
Celia: Why is it when you say that word it sounds like an insult.

Chuck: Look, I know what that pin means to you. You gave it Nate the first time you said you loved him.
Blair: Well I asked for it back. I thought James should have it now.
Chuck: Do you, ah, really feel the same way about him as you did Nate?
Blair: I do.
Chuck: I’ll see you at school.

Nate: You’re not going to the White Party? C’mon. Pretty girls. White dresses.
Chuck: Unless there’s a sprinkler, I don’t care.

Chuck to Eric: Do some research, Junior. I’m in the mood to be right.

Chuck: I was scared that if we spent the whole summer together that you’d see.
Blair: See what?
Chuck: Me. Please don’t leave with him.
Blair: Why? Give me a reason. And “I’m Chuck Bass” doesn’t count.
Chuck: ‘Cause you don’t want to.
Blair: Not enough.
Chuck: ‘Cause I don’t want you to.
Blair: That’s not enough.
Chuck: What else is there?
Blair: The true reason I should stay right where I am and not get in the car. Three words. Eight letters. Say it, and I’m yours.
Chuck: I… I…
Blair: Thank you. That’s all I needed to hear.

Never Been Marcused

Blair: Charles. Sidebar.
Chuck: Actually we weren’t finished.
Blair: Notice how my voice didn’t go up at the end. Not a question.

Nate: No offense, but don’t you think you’re a little outmatched?
Chuck: At squash? I’ve been playing my father since the eighth grade. How good could Marcus be.
Nate: No, I mean as a guy. Blair wants to be a princess and your greatest achievement is owning part of a burlesque club.
Chuck: Which is why I have to get to know him. No one’s that perfect. Once I get him out of the way I’ll have a clear shot at Blair.
Nate: Oh you know it’s love when you start talking like an assassin.
Chuck: I think you’re jealous of my new best friend.
Nate: Well I have been hoping someone would tag in for awhile now.

Chuck: Is this going to take any longer? I told Mrs. Archibald we could have it done by tonight.

Chuck: I thought you might like to meet my friend.
Blair: Why? So she could warn me about the effects of too much botox?
Catherine: Blair, is it? I’m Duchess Beeton.

Chuck: Did you enjoy meeting Duchess Beeton?
Blair: I did.
Chuck: That’s not sarcasm in your voice, that’s—
Blair: Victory. I know. Your plan to ruin me totally backfired. Turns out Marcus’ mommy is even sicker than you are.
Chuck: You got along great.
Blair: I think she recognized a part of herself in me. Or rather I recognized someone in her.
Chuck: I don’t follow.
Blair: All you need to know is that you lost. But don’t be too hard on yourself. It was a solid effort.
Chuck: Tomorrow’s another day.
Blair: Goodnight Chuck.
Chuck: Goodnight Blair.

The Dark Night

Chuck: So you seen Blair and Lord Fauntleroy recently?
Nate: No. Are you doing okay?
Chuck: I confess I’ve been a little off my game. But I’m expecting a return to form very soon.
Butler: Sir? The flight from Tokyo has landed.
Chuck: So I can see. Konichiwa.

Serena: Who was that?
Chuck: A little whiff of the Far East.
Serena: Sometimes I envy you. The way you just— Ew. What am I saying? You’re disgusting.
Chuck: Relax. Nothing happened with Madame Butterfly.
Serena: Yeah. right.
Chuck: No. Nothing happened. Same as nothing’s been happening all week.
Serena: What are you talking about? You’ve had different girls every day. No.
Chuck: I’ll take your incredulity as a compliment.
Serena: C’mon. You must have tried—
Chuck: Everything. From the erotic to the pharmaceutical.
Serena: I’m sorry. I’m not laughing. It’s just so obvious you’re not over Blair. Look, c’mon, this is your body’s way of telling you.
Chuck: I don’t have a romantic bone in my body. Least of all that one.

Chuck to Blair: You can’t tell me Bertie Wooster is satisfying your needs. Titles aside, a suit of armor makes for a cold bedfellow.

The Ex-Files

Chuck: Humphrey was holding you back. You’re a born queen this is your year to rule. Why fight it?
Serena: Because I don’t want it, okay? Being queen is Blair’s whole thing. Plus, if she needs a eunuch she knows where to look.
Chuck: You may feel differently when the trumpets call. Bring the OJ. There’s champagne in the limo.
Eric: He’s kidding. I think.

Eric: So you’re basically using Blair’s system to screen potential dates.
Chuck: Think of it as an early application process. There’s so many slots in Chuck Bass’ social calendar. It’ll save me a ton of time.
Eric: Seems a bit impersonal.
Chuck: Thank you.

Chuck: Cashing out so soon, Humphrey?
Dan: You really should wear a bell.
Chuck: Kinky. I’ll think about it. Hope you’re not leaving. You’re about to see the real Serena.
Dan: I’ve seen enough.
Chuck: Not by half.

Rufus: Lily, what are you doing here?
Lily: I don’t know.

Amanda: Getting my hair burned off was not a part of the deal.
Chuck: Casualties of war.
Amanda: I don’t get it. You wanted me to pretend to like this guy so he could make his ex-girlfriend jealous.
Chuck: Jealousy is a powerful emotion. I had to create a monster if I was going to dethrone a queen.

The Serena Also Rises

Chuck: Watching you fail spectacularly gives me so much joy.
Blair: And you know what you give to everyone Chuck? Misery. There’s a reason you’re always out here alone.
Chuck: Nate just happens to be away at his grandparents.
Blair: Nate’s only friends with you out of habit. The only person with fewer friends than you is Dan Humphrey. And at least his lame 90s dad likes him. And that’s because he’s something you’ll never be: a human being.

Dan: I know we don’t like each other and you think of me as a boring, sheltered nobody.
Chuck: I don’t think of you.
Dan: Right. Of course you don’t. But I’ve been thinking of me. And I have come to the conclusion that I need to get out of my comfort zone. I need to experience new things.
Chuck: Are you gay?
Dan: Now that would be out of my comfort zone, but no. I just need to get out of Brooklyn. For one night. I’d like to experience the world of Chuck Bass.
Chuck: You’re lucky I’m bored.
Dan: Is that a yes?
Chuck: Get in before I change my mind.

Chuck: You’re either in for the full ride or you’re out. What’s it going to be?
Dan: Alright, pass me the shots.
Chuck: The liquor’s just a chaser.
Dan: What is that?
Chuck: Does it matter? Go down the rabbit hole. Or go out the door.

Dan: Who knew there was a sex club behind the White Castle? And “beer before liquor”. How do you know so many twins?
Chuck: Twins find me.

Chuck: Tonight was nothing. You’re just a drunken idiot.
Dan: Can I at least have my shoes?

Dan: When did you start drinking in bars alone?
Chuck: When I realized hot, desperate girls drink in bars alone.
Dan: What’s your father like?
Chuck: Me. Only older. And meaner.

Dan: Has he always been like that?
Chuck: Since the day I was born.
Dan: Ah, that’s crazy. Even Bart Bass doesn’t hate babies. It’s, uh, it’s in our DNA. I think Disney did a study.
Chuck: He hated me.
Dan: That doesn’t make sense.
Chuck: It does if his beloved wife died giving birth to me.
Dan: That’s not your fault.
Chuck: Tell him that. Sometimes I swear he thinks I killed her. Who knows, maybe I did.

New Haven Can Wait

Chuck: Get excited, Archibald. We are less than three hours away from horny Women’s Studies majors wanting to work out all their anger towards men in their bunk beds.

Chuck: Will you lay off the formal visit crap and focus on what really matters. Creating your own Freshman Fifteen.
Nate: You’re not seriously considering going to Yale either?
Chuck: I’m, uh, evaluating colleges based on secret societies. Yale has the creme de la creme. The Skull and Bones. My goal is to get inside their inner sanctum.
Nate: And how exactly are you planning on doing that?
Chuck: By showing up.

Chuck: I wonder what lucky school will be the subject of the next nursery rhyme penned by Brooklyn’s lamest fiction writer.
Dan: Actually, Chuck, I think the Dean of Admissions at Yale will actually appreciate my ability to write about damaged characters.
Chuck: Looks like we’re spending the weekend together.
Dan: How nice.
Chuck: Say hello to the characters on public transportation for me.

Skull and Bones: Chuck Bass. Heir to Bass Industries. Champion of the legendary Lost Weekend. Rumor has it you’ve slept with more MAXIM covers than John Mayer.
Chuck: And better I might add.

Chuck: You may be the future leaders of America, but you’re under the control of Chuck Bass.

Chuck in Real Life

Chuck: Isn’t it about time you ended this bromance? What happens at Yale stays at Yale.

Blair: Poor Chuck. What is life without a friend to share it. Oh. It looks like you just lost yours to Dan Humphrey.
Chuck: Who cares. I’d rather talk about who you lost yours to anyway.
Blair: Uh uh. Been there, done that. Been decontaminated.
Chuck: We both know you’ll do it again. It’s just a question of when.
Blair: The answer is Never.
Chuck: We’re inevitable, Waldorf.
Blair: Despite whatever vestigial attraction my body may feel for you, my brain knows better. And yours should too.

Chuck: Waving the white flag are we?
Blair: Not exactly. I’ve got a proposition for you.
Chuck: I’ll say yes.
Blair: That little troll Vanessa is working my last nerve.
Chuck: Not what I expected.
Blair: And then I realized, this could benefit both of us.
Chuck: You had me until “troll”.
Blair: Dan stole your best friend. Now you can steal his. Seduce and destroy.
Chuck: What’s in it for me?
Blair: The thrill of the impossible. The only person Vanessa loathes more than me is you. It’ll be one for the ages.

Chuck: Did you have a reason for coming here? Because if it was to insult me there’s a web site you can go to.

Horace: This our guy?
Vanessa: Horace Rogers, meet Chuck Bass.
Horace: Man! Come here. hugs him. Look at that outfit. Didn’t know it could be worse than the one this morning. Kidding. I know [] when I see it. Joe Kennedy taught me.
Chuck: You knew Joe Kennedy?
Horace: Used to come in here all the time. Had a girl up the street. I was nine years old. Sellin’ papers out front. Rumor has it he kept this place in booze during Prohibition. So you like Ol’ Joe?
Chuck: Rum runner. Womanizer. Millionaire. He was my kinda guy.
Horace: They all used to come here here back in the day. Gangsters. Fighters. Musicians. Dangerous folks, no doubt. They had style. Something tells me you’d fit right in.
Chuck: That’s possibly the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

Vanessa: Hey. I overheard the end of that conversation. And, I’m sorry. I don’t know your dad. But from what I saw today you deserve better.
Chuck: You say that. You don’t really know me. My father on the other hand has lifetime experience. He makes some good points.

Blair: Bet’s off.
Chuck: This game’s not over.
Blair: I’m calling it on account of boredom.

Blair: I’m prepared to settle.
Chuck: Maybe I’m not.
Blair: Chuck Bass. I will never say those words to you.
Chuck: Then you will never have me.
Blair: Is this because of Vanessa? It was a game, Chuck. That’s it.
Chuck: Maybe I want to raise the stakes. Are you ready to play that game? I chased you for long enough. Now it’s time you chased me.
Gossip Girl: And some things never change. Let a new game begin. XOXO —G

Prêt-à-Poor J

Chuck: Wanna get in? I’d love to give you a ride.
Blair: Oh I’m sure you would. Too bad you’ve made the terms of that arrangement impossible.
Chuck: About that. Maybe I was a little too hasty. Come on. Get n.
Blair: Maybe I don’t want you anymore.
Chuck: Don’t torture me. I’m dying. As Blair approaches the car, Chuck locks it. All you have to do is say those three magic words.
Blair: I hate you.

Blair: So ever since Charlize Theron became the face of Dior I’ve wanted to change my signature scent and I’ve been trying out a new one. would you mind?
Chuck: Smells a little like desperation.
Blair: Yeah well I’ll just keep on looking. Thank you. You’ve been very helpful.

Chuck: I gave you a shot. And while your efforts were admirable, I’m bored. And you’ve ruined my pants. Goodnight, Blair.

Chuck: What’s going on, Blair? You told me you had something to say to me. Say it.
Blair: Why do I have to be the one to go first? I was the one who waited on the helipad for you. I went to Tuscany alone.
Chuck: That’s ancient history.
Blair: I was the one who asked you to say it first.
Chuck: At the White Party? When you were on your way out with the Count? Did you really think I was going to say it then?
Blair: Yes! And when you didn’t I wanted to die.
Chuck: Don’t tell me you brought me all the way to Brooklyn for this. I thought you were ready to tell me how you really felt. Obviously this is just another one of your games.
Blair: My games? You’re the one who started this.
Chuck: And you’re the one who finished it.

Blair: Are you here to gloat?
Chuck: Over what?
Blair: Well you won. Pop the champagne.
Chuck: I didn’t win.
Blair: Then why does it feel like I lost?
Chuck: The reason we we can’t say those three words to each other is because they are true.
Blair: Then why?
Chuck: I think we both know the moment we do it will be the start of something and the end. Think about it. “Chuck and Blair going to the movies”. “Chuck and Blair holding hands”.
Blair: We don’t have to see those things. We can do the things that we like.
Chuck: What we like is this.
Blair: The game.
Chuck: That and I’m not sure how long we’d last. It’d just be a matter of time before we messed it all up. Look, I’d rather wait. And maybe in the future.
Blair: I suppose you could be some excruciating pleasure.

There Might Be Blood

Chuck: Well. What do we have here? Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Chuck.
Emma: Bass. Oh my god. I read about you on Gossip Girl. You’re like the devil.
Chuck: Finally. Some truth in advertising. Headed out, are we?
Emma: Serena, Blair and I are going to the Gala. Hope you’re coming.
Chuck: Well I’m all for company on a Saturday night but the only thing I like that aged is my Scotch.

Blair: Limos and virgins. Your specialty.
Chuck: Just so you know, while there are few things I consider sacred, the back of the limo is one of them.

Chuck: Kittens, please. I found her table.
Blair: You’re behind the plot Bass. She already left.
Chuck: The bartender says she’s in the corner booth.
Blair: E. Boardman. Elizabeth. That’s not Emma. That’s her mother.
Serena: And that’s not her father.

Chuck: So Humbert Humbert’s name is Serge Gromance. His father plays tennis at the club. I know where his building is. Let’s go.
Blair: I’m going over there.
Serena: I’m late for the Gala. My mom’s texting me. Look, do whatever you want Blair. But please, save Emma first.
Blair: Fine. We’ll save Little Red Riding Hood from the Big Bad Wolf. But after that it’s “Bulldog! Bulldog! Rah rah rah!”

Bonfire of the Vanity

Chuck: Happy 20th anniversary of Bass Industries.
Bart: I’m surprised you remembered.

Chuck: If you use this against my father I will destroy you.
Dan: Chuck, what happened is bigger than you hating me or me trying to make it as a writer. I couldn’t ignore this if I wanted to.
Chuck: It will ruin our family. Don’t do it. Please.

Bart: I want to apologize, son.
Chuck: Apologize.
Bart: I never blamed you for your mother’s death. I read that short story that Dan Humphrey wrote about you and your mother. I had no idea you felt that way. It’s my fault. I know I’ve had trouble being close to you. But it’s not for the reasons you think. It’s just hard because— every time I look at you I see her.
Chuck: You miss her.
Bart: You have no idea. I’ve made terrible mistakes in my life but I don’t want to make another. I want to know my son. So any interest in going to that hockey game?
Chuck: I’ll, ah, clear my calendar.

The Magnificent Archibalds

Chuck: Archibald. Haven’t seen you around here lately.
Nate: Yeah, why do you care?
Chuck: Oh I don’t. But if you’re not with the Humphreys anymore obviously things are looking up. Which is too bad. I kind of liked watching you slumming. I thought it would teach you who your real friends were.
Nate: I guess it has. He walks away

Eric: You’re home.
Chuck: My plans for the evening got held up at customs.
Eric: Your dad just insinuated that Jonathan might be dating someone else. How and why would he know that?
Chuck: He has a PI on retainer like I do.
Eric: I get that for business. But family. And friends of family, it’s just… creepy.
Chuck: Not to worry. Bart’s people are top notch and very discreet.

Eric: How much does he know?
Chuck: How much do you want to find out?

Serena: My new boyfriend Aaron is on his way over to meet everyone and I want your word on something.
Chuck: If you’re talking about the dress, I’d say higher.
Serena: Chuck! I want your word that you will not mention anything about the girl I used to be. I just got Aaron all to myself and if the one thing I have to do to keep it that way is hide my recent history for awhile, then that’s what I’m going to do.
Chuck: I get it. You lied to him.
Serena: No I didn’t! I merely chose not to tell him everything I did. And it will come out naturally. Over the course of the many conversations we’re going to have as we’re dating exclusively.
Chuck: You have my word. Whatever that’s worth.

Eric: It’s like the end of every heist movie ever made. Are those gold bars? I didn’t think they actually made those. Is that, is that a satphone?
Chuck: Correction. Only a prototype. Put it back.

Chuck: I knew you’d come back for more.
Vanessa: Chuck, you know how hard this call was for me to make.
Chuck: I’m listening.
Vanessa: The FBI just came to see me and Nate’s in trouble.
Chuck: Tell someone who cares.
Vanessa: Chuck, this is serious. He needs our help.

Nate: You know, when you called I thought it was an emergency. Obviously I was wrong.
Vanessa: It’s more like an intervention.
Chuck: There’s someone you need to talk to.
Vanessa: The FBI knows that your dad’s in town. And they think he’s about to commit a crime even worse than fraud or embezzlement.
Nate: Like what?
Chuck: Like extortion. Kidnapping.

Vanessa: Hey. We were hoping you’d be here.
Nate: My mom’s inside signing papers in the dark. We’ve got our house back, now all we need is some electricity. I can’t thank you guys enough.
Chuck: I’m gonna leave you guys alone.
Vanessa: I didn’t… want you to go. And I didn’t like to admit it, but I still—
Nate: Still?
Vanessa: It’s not important There’s the whole thing with Jenny and I don’t want to get in the way of that.
Nate: Vanessa, I haven’t heard from Jenny in weeks so, uh, if you’d like, can we get together sometime?
Vanessa: I guess that’d be okay. Call me.
Nate: I will. Vanessa walks off (and squeezes Chuck’s arm in thanks)
Chuck: By the way, I’m glad you stayed too.
Nate: Thanks man.
Chuck: Now let’s, uh, let’s get drunk in style.

It’s a Wonderful Lie

Blair: What do you want, Bass?
Chuck: It occurred to me today when I was having my afternoon shiatsu that I should choose your date.
Blair: You? Why?
Chuck: Why not? And it would let me prove I know you better than anyone else.
Blair: Fine. Then I choose yours.
Chuck: I bring a date for you, you bring one for me. Let’s see who’s paying attention to the other’s desires.
Blair: There has to be something to keep you honest. And to make things interesting.
Chuck: Name the stakes.
Blair: If you actually like your date, I get your limo for a month.
Chuck: Fine. And if you like yours I get Dorota.
Blair: What? Dorota?
Dorota: Yes Miss Blair?
Blair: Fine.
Chuck: By the way, I take my breakfast in bed.
Blair: What are you staring at? Go polish something.

Chuck: Taking off?
Bart: Morning meeting in Miami. I should be back tomorrow.
Chuck: Sure that’s wise? Seems to me the old marriage thermostat is headed south of late.
Bart: And whose fault is that? Thanksgiving was a disaster because of those files. And you think I don’t know who had the combination to that safe? Every time I think we’re making progress you show your true colors.

Gossip Girl: Snowflake or snowfake? Either way it’s going to be a ball.

Chuck: You look lovely.
Blair: Not as lovely as I’ll look in my limo. So where’s my Prince Uncharming?
Chuck: Sandbox rules. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

Blair: We both know that I’m your one and only. And a Canal Street knock-off seemed like the best option.
Chuck: My thinking exactly.
Blair: Fine. If Beta Bass is anything like the original I have no doubt that sooner or later he’ll disappoint me.
Chuck: And I’m curious to see if the new Blair has all the features I so enjoyed on the old model.
Blair: So the bet is still on.
Chuck: Unless you’re prepared to concede.
Blair: To you? Never.

Chuck: You’ve been good for him—good for us. I always liked you regardless of how I may have acted. He’s on his way here. You owe him a conversation.

Chuck: Dance with me.
Blair: What’s the point, Chuck. We’re never going to be them. You said so, remember? It’s not for us.
Chuck: Maybe. But I wouldn’t change us. Not if it meant losing what we have.
Blair: And what do we have, Chuck? You tell me.
Chuck: Tonight. So shut up. And dance with me.

O Brother, Where Bart Thou?

Tyler: My condolences.
Chuck: Skip the sympathy. This is business. My father met with you right before he died. I want to know what you told him that night.
Tyler: I worked for Mr. Bass. Not you. And what I have, you’re not the only party interested.
Chuck: I’m about to become very rich.
Tyler: Yeah. Congrats. But there’s someone else who’s about to come into some money. And I think she might be more motivated than you are.
Chuck: Lily. Bitch is the reason my father is dead.
Tyler: I’ll be in touch. You could buy me a drink.
Chuck: I’m sorry. I can’t stay. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go bury my father.

Nate: We should have just driven to the door and dropped him off on the steps.
Blair: No one should see him like this. He needs to walk it off. Okay, walk it off, Chuck. Lift knee, bend foot.
Nate: Maybe we should have just left him at The Palace.
Blair: It’s his father’s funeral. He needs to be here and show his respects.
Chuck: Respect. My father wasn’t shown much of that in his final days.
Nate: What’s he talking about?
Blair: Who knows. When we found him his shoes were on the wrong feet. Chuck, remember how in eighth grade you used to help yourself to the decanter in The Captain’s library?
Chuck: First got my taste for single malt.
Nate: That’s right. And you’d have to go home to a four course dinner without passing out in your consommé.
Chuck: Or my father would think less of me. What does that matter now?
Blair: Chuck, am I going to have to stick my finger down your throat? I’ll hold back your hair. to Nate What?
Nate: Sorry Blair. You had me, then you lost me.
Blair: Just straighten his tie.

Chuck: Hey! What the hell are you doing here?
Dan: Excuse me?
Blair: He’s just upset and loaded.
Chuck: What are you doing at my father’s funeral? You think he wanted you here?
Dan: Chuck if this is about the article, you know I didn’t write it.
Chuck: Do you think I care about your failed attempt at investigative journalism. My father’s dead because of your father.
Dan: What? Chuck, look. I’m sorry about this.
Serena: Chuck, Dan has been helping us. Unlike you!
Chuck: Helping us. Do you have any idea what his family has done?
Cecilia: Daniel, I think maybe it would be best if you left.
Serena: No, Grandma. That doesn’t make sense. It’s not fair.
Cecilia: Chuck is Bart’s son. He doesn’t have to make sense today.
Dan: It’s okay. I understand.
Chuck: You have no idea.
Serena: Dan, I want you here.
Serena, it’s okay. Let him go.
Lily: I know you’re upset but we all really need each other right now.
Chuck: Don’t touch me, Whore.
Lily: Charles, please. You need to be with your family.
Chuck: Family? I don’t have a family.

Lily: If you’re looking for Bart’s will, you don’t have to worry.
Chuck: I’m not. But you should be. I’m trying to find your file.
Lily: Well it’s not here so you can stop ransacking the place and look at me.
Chuck: I can’t look at you, Lily. You disgust me.
Lily: Charles—
Chuck: Disrespecting your marriage. Betraying my father with Rufus Humphrey.
Lily: I did no such thing.
Chuck: He was coming to fight for you. Talk about dying for nothing.
Lily: The only reason he got in that car is because you called him. If you could have just stayed out of it. But you couldn’t, could you? Because you’re just like him. You have to know everything, control everyone, trust no one.
Chuck: You’re saying this is my fault.
Lily: No, it’s no one’s fault.
Chuck: Yes it is. It’s your fault. His blood’s on your hands.
Lily: I’m sorry.
Chuck: As soon as that will is read, and I get my money you’ll never see me again.

Eric: We want you here. I just lost my stepfather. I don’t want to lose my brother too.
Chuck: When are you going to get it? We are not related.

Blair: Chuck! Stop! Don’t go. Or if you have to leave, let me come with you.
Chuck: I appreciate the concern.
Blair: No. You don’t. You don’t appreciate anything today. But I don’t care. Whatever you’re going through, I want to be there for you.
Chuck: We talked about this. You are not my girlfriend.
Blair: But I am me. And you are you. We’re Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you’ve ever done—the darkest thought you’ve ever had—I will stand by you through anything.
Chuck: And why would you do that?
Blair: Because I love you.
Chuck: Well that’s too bad.

Tyler: Congratulations. You’re the high bidder. The only bidder, actually.
Chuck: Well if Lily didn’t spend every dollar she has maybe it’s not worth it.
Tyler: I was dealing with her mother. She said Lily wanted to stop hiding her past, come clean.
Chuck: Well. Tell me what’s the point in paying to know something if she’s gong to tell everyone anyway.
Tyler: Maybe there is none. But you’re about to become the richest kid in New York. If I were you I’d want to make that decision myself.

Chuck: I just can’t believe you’d want this to become public knowledge.
Lily: What is that?
Chuck: Oh it’s exactly what you think it is.
Lily: But my mother—
Chuck: Lied to you. And to Mr. Tyler. Judging by the look on your face I’m guessing it wasn’t your idea to come clean.
Lily: Why on earth would she do this.
Chuck: I don’t know. But the next time you see her I’d ask. Until then I’m more than happy to further her agenda.
Lily: Charles, I beg you, please don’t turn away from the people who love you. They’re the only chance any of us has. And your father never learned that. I hope that you do.