Torchwood Series 1

Day One

2006.10.22    

Jack: All right, usual formation.
Gwen: What’s the usual formation?
Owen: Varies.
Gwen: How can the usual formation vary?

Jack: What do we know?
Owen: Bog standard space debris. to Gwen. That’s a technical term.
Gwen: Yeah, thanks.

Owen: Make yourself useful, sweetheart. Pass us that big chisel from the toolbox.
Gwen: Not sweetheart. Gwen. One syllable, I’m sure you can manage it.
Owen: Not sweet cheeks? Freckles. New Girl.
Gwen: It’s a shame your tool’s not big enough for the job. Darlin’.

Carys: I wish I’d never met you. I wish I was dead. No, I wish you were dead. Call me back.

Gwen: God, this has been the worst first day ever.
Jack: We’ve all made mistakes. Get over it.

PC Andy: Gwen?
Gwen: Hi.
PC Andy: Bloody hell. Look at you all posh. Special Ops? We were wondering.
Gwen: I meant to call. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind.

Tosh: He just…
Jack: Came and went.
Owen: Now that’s how I’d like to go.
Tosh: I’m sure we could arrange it.

Gwen: What about his family? You can’t just fake his death.
Jack: You want to tell his family he died screwing an alien?

Tosh: Gas traces confirmed as Vorax and Suranium.
Jack: Great. My two favorite gases.

Jack: See what you can find out from her.
Gwen: But aren’t you going to help me? I don’t know what I’m doing.
Jack: Usually better if you don’t say that in front of the prisoner.

Carys: You broke my ship.
Gwen: C’mon then. Where are you from and why are you trying to invade Earth? Because you can forget about enslaving us.
Carys: Who said anything about “enslavin'”?
Gwen: Well that’s what you lot do, aliens…. Isn’t it?

Owen about Jack: So what’s he told you?
Gwen: What about?
Tosh: Himself.
Gwen: You’ve been here longer than I have.
Tosh: We were banking on you.
Owen: You’re a copper, you’re trained to ask questions.
Gwen: You don’t know anything?
Owen: Not who he is, not where he’s from. Nothing, except him being gay.
Gwen: No, he’s not. Really, do you think?
Tosh: No. Owen does. I don’t.
Ianto: And I don’t care.
Owen: Period military is not the dress code of a straight man.
Gwen: I think it suits him. Sort of classic.
Tosh: Exactly! I’ve watched him in action. He’ll shag anything if it’s gorgeous enough.

Jack to Gwen: Are you always this awkward?

Tosh: Jack, Carys is out of her cell.
Owen: Cheeky bitch took my swipe card.
Jack: I’ll deal with it. And tell Owen he needs to work on those abs a bit harder.

Gwen: After all I said, a severed hand is more important to you than Carys’ life.
Jack: You want to prove yourself? Find her. Get your old pals in the police to do something useful for once.
Gwen: Alright, I’ll give them a call. Put out an APB: woman possessed by gas knobbing fellas to death.

Rat jam.

Carys: Do you love me, Eddie? Did you ever love me?
Eddie: No.
Carys: You could’ve saved yourself.
Eddie: What?

Gwen: We’re too late.
Jack: Tosh was right, though. She went for the ex-boyfriend. Lucky she’s young. Work your way through my back catalog, we’ll be here ’til the sun explodes.

Gwen: What’s this for?
Jack: Need a diagram?
Gwen: I’ve never used a gun before.
Jack: You were in the police.
Gwen: I was on the beat.

Clinic Donor: I’m asking you to get out.
Carys: Just relax. I can help.
Clinic Donor: I don’t think so, love. I’m gay.

Owen: The strain on her body’s too much. Any second now she’s rat jam.

Jack: That was just the kiss. Imagine the buzz you get from the rest. Carys faints. That wasn’t exactly the reaction I’d anticipated.