Season 1

Pilot

Julie Cooper: Oh honey, I thought you were going to wear your hair down. Pulled back like that, it’s a little harsh on your angles.
Jimmy Cooper: Okay, let’s go!
Julie: It’s going to be so amazing tonight. Are you going to wear the Donna Karan, Maris? I thought it was very forgiving.
Jimmy: You look beautiful, kid.

The Model Home

Julie: I can’t believe that I’m old enough to have watched people play basketball in those shorts.

The Gamble

Julie: You will not believe what Sandy Cohen said to me. He basically called me white trash. He said I was from Riverside!
Jimmy: Honey, you are from Riverside.
Julie: It was his tone!

The Debut

 

The Outsider

Kirsten: I’m sorry if I upset you. It wasn’t my place.
Julie: I remember as a kid if I saw a limousine driving, I’d always try to see through the tinted window, wondering what kind of life the people inside lived. How glamorous and lucky. Who knew, right? You knew. You were probably in there staring back at me. Which means I’ve been jealous of you since I was eight. When I met Jimmy I had nothing. No money. I don’t want to go back to being nothing again.
Kirsten: You won’t. You have a family, you have Jimmy. And he loves you.
Julie: Not as much as he loved you. But I knew that when I married him. I was winning the lottery. Great guy, great life. And he was doing the honorable thing.
Kirsten: It’s your turn, Julie. Don’t abandon him.

The Girlfriend

Jimmy: What do you— What do you want from me?
Julie: I think
I want a divorce. I’m sorry, honey. I just don’t see any other way.

The Escape

.

The Rescue

Julie: You tell me where she is and I am taking her home. She ran away from a hospital!
Ryan: She ran away from you. Look. You’re from Riverside, right? That’s not too far from where I grew up.
Julie: I am calling the police in like two seconds—
Ryan: And I know this place has everything you never had. And I know you’re afraid you’re going to lose it all, everything you’ve ever wanted.
Julie: I’m done.
Ryan: But what you want and what your daughter wants are two different things.
Julie: You don’t know what she wants!
Ryan: I know what she doesn’t want. She doesn’t want to go to San Diego. And she doesn’t want to live with you.
Julie: I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to any of this.
Marissa: Just say yes.

The Heights

.

The Perfect Couple

 

The Homecoming

Seth trying to be heard over the blender: Hey, so Marissa’s with Ryan.
Kirsten: What?
Seth: I said Marissa’s in Chino.
Kirsten: I can’t hear you!
Seth: I said Marissa is in Chino! Wow. That actually happens in real life.
Julie: What? What did you say?
Seth: Yeah, no. I said that Marissa has my chinos. I love those pants.
Caleb: Looks like we’ll be here awhile. to Kirsten You ready to talk?
Kirsten to all: Fresh margs?

The Secret

Kirsten: Julie.
Julie: Kirsten. You showed up. How are you feeling?
Kirsten: So did you tell everyone I was drunk at Thanksgiving?
Julie: Well everyone was wondering where you were, so…
Kirsten: I was at the office. Working.
Julie: Well hey, it’s okay. I mean we’re all friends here.
Kirsten: Well if we’re all friends, why don’t you start acting like one.

Kirsten: Julie, if you and Kaitlin need somewhere to live I can find you a house. My dad can find you a house.
Julie: Not according to him. Not without compromising our relationship.
Kirsten: He said that?
Julie: So I told him if that’s true, we don’t have to have a relationship anymore. So now we don’t.
Kirsten: I had no idea. I’m so sorry.

Kirsten: I can’t be here right now.
Julie: Have you eaten?
Kirsten: What did you have in mind?
Julie: Fried foods and beer.
Kirsten: First round’s on me.

Julie: Can I ask you a question? Do you like that he calls you Kiki?
Kirsten: Hate it.
Julie: ‘Cause he kept calling me Juju. Like that candy that gets stuck in your teeth. I begged him to stop.

The Best Chrismukkah Ever

Jimmy: Marissa and I were just trying to decide on an appropriate punishment.
Julie: Oh really? Well way to rule with the iron fist, Stalin.

Julie: I hate the holidays.
Ryan: Right there with you.

The Countdown

 

The Third Wheel

 

The Links

Julie: Cheese wheel?

Kirsten: How was France?
Caleb: Aside from the French. Where’s Hailey?
Kirsten: She’s showering, I think. I wasn’t expected you guys so soon.
Julie: Oh, he couldn’t to see his precious Hailey. Couldn’t even let me go home and take a shower.

Hailey: Julie, your hair.
Julie: Hailey, you’re here.

The Rivals

Julie: Sorry about your office, Kiki. I needed a home base for Operation Model Home.
Kirsten: Okay, Julie. I think maybe a little bit you’ve lost your mind. This is a disaster.
Julie: Kirsten, if you stopped open heart surgery halfway through it would look like murder.

Julie: Kirsten, the Newport Group should be an aspirational brand.
Kirsten: Aspirational? Is that even a word?

Kirsten: Julie?
Julie: It’s a disaster.
Kirsten: What was all that about open heart surgery?
Julie: I lost the patient.

The Truth

Julie: Hey, you guys wanna join us? We’re celebrating my new position.
Sandy: Ohhh, I’m not gonna touch that one.

Julie: Shouldn’t you be in school?
Ryan: I got suspended.
Julie: Oh. What a surprise. Who’d you beat up this time, Dr. Kim?

Caleb: I’m sorry.
Julie: You should be. I deserve so much better from you. From both of you. Enjoy your office. I quit.

The Heartbreak

 

The Telenovela

Luke: I gotta motor. I don’t want to be late for homeroom.
Julie: You have homeroom? Right. Because you’re in high school. Because you’re eighteen.

Caleb: We should be able to come to an arrangement where we both get from a relationship what we want.
Julie: Is this a booty call?
Caleb: What’s a “booty call?
Julie: It’s when you show up at night unannounced, no apologies, no compliments, no commitments. Just some crappy mini-carns from Ralph’s and a very mistaken idea that I just might want to— {she slams the door}
Caleb: Guess it was a booty call.

The Goodbye Girl

Julie: Luke just came by to defrag my hard drive.
Jimmy: Okay.

Caleb: Hi Juju. I was wondering if you were going to ignore me all night.
Julie: You seemed busy. Congratulations.
Caleb: Thanks for coming. Can I drive you home?
Julie: I can walk down the driveway.
Caleb: Can I call you? Take you out on a real date. Things have gotten a little crazy. And I know I didn’t appreciate you. I want to. I want to make you feel appreciated.
Julie: Plan the perfect date, run it by me. We’ll see.

The L.A.

 

The Nana

Julie: I would love to stay and chat with you, Ryan. But I have to find my daughter.
Ryan: Not if I find her first.

The Proposal

Luke: Thanks for meeting me.
Julie: Well it’s not like I had any choice. Phonecalls and emails. I had to block you from my buddy list, you were so incessant.
Luke: You blocked me? I thought you were offline.

The Shower

Julie: …And my wedding planner’s a passive-aggressive nitwit that has the audacity to question my taste in music. Bob Seger is not “so over.”

Julie: Oh my god. Did she just say “monster truck”?
Kirsten: Julie, you were into monster trucks?
Julie: I better get over there or there might not even be a wedding.

The Strip

Kirsten: Julie, we are smart, sophisticated women. We don’t need strange naked men dancing in front of us to be entertained.
Julie: I’m not as smart as you.

Julie: Plus, the boys are getting strippers.
Kirsten: The boys are not getting strippers.
Julie: Kirsten, it’s Las Vegas. You get strippers as a side with your entrée.

Kirsten: No strippers!
Julie: Just one little stripper. Please! Just one little stripper, who never hurt anyone, just trying to make his way in the world… naked.

The Ties The Bind