Blair: Serena’s been in jail for over four hours. She’s already served more time than Nicole Ritchie and Lindsay Lohan combined.
Chuck: She’s a socialite mistakenly accused of stealing a bracelet. I doubt they’re working her over with a phonebook.
Blair: When I called Lily she said she was on her way. Where is she?
Nate: I just can’t believe she had her own daughter arrested. I mean who does that?
Chuck: Someone who’s never been arrested.
Lily: You forced me to do this. I just hope you learned your lesson.
Serena: That my mom’s crazier than I ever imagined?
Lily: Well, no crazier than you, my daughter, thinking you could fix this situation yourself.
Serena: I was fixing this. But then you were too worried what people would think.
Lily: When you’re a mother you will understand that you have to make decisions that don’t always win you points for popularity.
Serena: When I’m a mother I will be nothing like you.
Lily: Yes. You say that now. But just wait.
Lily: I came down here to drop the charges and put this behind us. Please show a little respect and I will stick with my plan.
Serena: I’ll just stick to mine. If you didn’t notice you weren’t my phone call.
Lily: Ah. So who was?
CeCe (Caroline Lagerfelt): She called me, darling. Ironic, isn’t it? If only she knew.
Serena: Hey Grandma.
Gossip Girl: For those who complain about the youth of today, if you think we’re bad you should have seen our parents.
Teen Lily (Brittany Snow): I’m not a head shrink or anything, but I do think the sudden uprooting of my family from New York, coupled with my parents’ tumultuous divorce, may have contributed to some difficulties I’ve been having.
Richard Rhodes (Andrew McCarthy): You got kicked out of boarding school.
CeCe Rhodes (Cynthia Watros): Hello Lily.
Teen Lily: What are you doing here?
CeCe: If it was up to your father they’d stop me at the county line. But Santa Barbara is really only a prison in my mind.
Richard Rhodes: Good to see you, Cece.
Cece: Wish I could say the same, Richard.
Cece: Eric and I had the most invigorating walk from the hotel.
Eric: You know, Grandma is deceptively quick.
Lily: Oh she’s probably racing back to that bottle of gin she has hidden under the sink in the bathroom.
Cece: Good morning to you as well.
Cece: What have I done to earn your ire, my dear?
Lily: Let me think for a second. Maybe telling Rufus about our child.
Cece: I’m sorry if I thought it appropriate that Rufus learns he has a son.
Eric: You mean “had”.
Lily: He died.
Cece: Oh. I had no idea.
Lily: Imagine. Something you don’t know.
Blair: What’s this for?
Dorota: Strength. You will need. I have good news and bad news. Which do you want?
Blair: Good news first. Always
Dorota: There is replacement.
Blair: What are you talking about?
Dorota: It makes more sense if you pick bad news first.
Cece: You blame me for everything.
Lily: And you accept responsibility for nothing.
Lily: Oh hello, Daniel.
Dan: Hey. So look, I’m really sorry to bother you but I can’t leave Serena one more message and still call myself a man. Not that it’s exactly manly to be calling her mother but I really need to know. How mad is she?
Lily: Oh I wouldn’t worry. She hasn’t gotten your messages. They… take your cell phone away when you’re in jail.
Dan: Wait. She’s still in jail?
Owen (Shiloh Fernandez): Kind of cool, right?
Teen Lily: Sure, yeah. Cool place to catch hepatitis.
Blair: Oh my god, look at this place. I’ve always tried to make my life resemble the movie in my head and tonight no effort required. Voila!
Vote for prom king and queen?
Blair: We don’t do prom queen. That’s for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies set at them.
Teen Lily: Your life isn’t exactly how you described. You told Mom you were making it out in L.A.
Carol Rhodes (Krysten Ritter): I am making it. This is what making it looks like. Before… you’ve totally made it.
Rufus: You’re unpredictable, that’s for sure. When I was younger it was damn exciting. You were always surprising me.
Lily: I’m just doomed to repeat my mother’s mistakes.
Rufus: Our mistakes are our’s alone to make. Or correct.
Rufus: Cece’s never going to change, Lil. But you still can.
Serena: Oh! I can’t believe Blair won.
Nate: Yeah. Who even voted for her?
Chuck: Me. About 150 times. I wasn’t putting the Nelly Yuki ballots in, I was taking them out.
Serena: But what about what she said you did to her limo and her hotel and her corsage?
Chuck: The dress looks better without it.
Gossip Girl: Ah. Who knew the Motherchucker could also play Fairy Godmother. But if C just made B’s dreams come true, why does it feel like our queen is standing with the wrong king?
Cece: Don’t tell me you’re chasing me out of town. I’m fleeing as fast as I can.
Lily: Well please stop. I’m not going to apologize, but I love you and I know you love me.
Cece: Well of course I love you. My daughters, my grandchildren. My only motivation is love.
Lily: On the contrary. Your motives are quite suspect.
Serena: Hey! There you are. Where’s the prom king?
Blair: We broke up.
Serena: What? But everything was so perfect. It was like a fairytale.
Blair: Turns out fairytale’s end when they do for a reason.
Gossip Girl: Shoulder pads may come and go, but a BFF is forever. Because even when you’re not sure where you’re headed, it help to know you’re not going there alone. No one has all the answers. And sometimes the best we can do is just apologize. And let the past be the past. Other times, we need to look to the future. And know that even when we think we’ve seen it all, life can still surprise us. And we can still surprise ourselves. XOXO —Gossip Girl