Gossip Girl Season 4

The Witches of Bushwick


Deanna Russo  Francie Swift  Jayne Atkinson  Jessica Szohr  Katie Cassidy  Luke Kleintank

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Gossip Girl: On the Upper East Side, the possibilities are endless. Dom or Krug. Winston or Cartier. Tory or Stella. Eventually even the people with everything have to choose.

Serena: Hey, why are you guys eating? I thought we were going to Sarabeth’s.
Eric: Ah, we decided we could spread out better here. There’s more room to work.
Serena: On what, your calculus homework?
Eric: Your love life. It’s a little something called “Dan vs. Nate”. We’re here to help.
Elliot (Luke Kleintank): And we brought protractors.
Serena: A Venn diagram, really? You seriously expect me to make this monumental decision with colored pencils and graph paper?
Eric: Don’t mock. Elliot got an 800 on his math SATs.
Elliot: Mm hm. Probability. Set theory. It’s basically what they do when you join an online dating service.
Serena: Okay, E’s Harmony. I will submit to your method, but just so you know I did choose. I called Dan right after I broke up with Colin and Nate showed up and said some things I couldn’t ignore.
Elliot: And then?
Serena: Well I ignored him, ran up to my room, and haven’t spoken to either since.
Eric: That’s a familiar coping mechanism.

Dan: Hey Serena, it’s me. I saw your thing in The Post. Just wanted you to know that Brooklyn is a great place to avoid nasty looks. Unless you throw your recycling in the regular trash or try to open a chain store with questionable labor practices.

Dan: Why are you even here? to Vanessa: I assume you’re responsible.
Vanessa (Jessica Szohr): I totally understand if you guys are still mad at me for what happened with Serena, but obviously you miss each other. I’ll take that awkward pause as a yes.
Dan: Don’t think this means that I’ve been calling out your name in my sleep.
Nate: It’s not like I’ve been writing Mrs. Nate Humphrey in my notebook.

Blair: Nothing wrong with a lobster pot pie between friends.

Blair: Dorota! I need [] and an assortment of Chloe that’s subtle but sexy.
Dorota: For your meeting with Mrs. Archibald?
Blair: No, for my dinner with Chuck. And… I see your brain trying to translate the implications from Polish. But there are none. So stop thinking and do.

Serena: You could at least try to hide your disappointment.
Lily: Well I have nothing to hide, I simply want to put this behind us.
Serena: Even if I have to wear a scarlet letter for something I didn’t do?

Lily: Dean Reuther, I’m sorry you have to disrupt your day with such trivial matters.
Dean Reuther (Jayne Atkinson): It’s hardly trivial, Mrs. Humphrey. I’m sure you saw the wall of paparazzi at the campus gates.
Lily: Well I assure you none of us is interested in this kind of media attention. I hope you’ll let our family make it up to you with an endowment. Maybe you could use it to build a moat around the school—keep out the press.

Dean Reuther: I’m sorry, Serena, I have to look at the bigger picture. It’s no longer just your education that’s being disrupted.
Lily: Well I’m sure you realize that Serena was accepted at other Ivy League institutions.
Serena: Mom, please—
Dean Reuther: Well getting out of the city is probably your best course of action. We can refund her tuition and I am happy to facilitate a transfer.
Lily: I think you misunderstood me. Serena chose Columbia. And despite your judgment, she is the victim here. And I’m sure the Times would love to do an article about a dean who tolerates professors in power positions exploiting female students.
Dean Reuther: Well I hope you’ll consider my offer.

Serena: I think Dean Reuther was actually trembling. You were very impressive.
Lily: I was, wasn’t I?

Gossip Girl: Watch out, S. Looks like Brooklyn finally has a team again. And this time they brought in a ringer.

Anne (Francie Swift): I feel I need to tell you, the board is very focused on the fact that the head of a female empowerment organization needs to be someone who’s empowered herself.
Blair: Well they’re in luck, because power isn’t just my mission. It’s my mantra.
Anne: It’s more your personal relationships that are in question.
Blair: I assume you don’t mean Nate.

Chuck: So I took your advice about the relaunch. After tonight it’ll be clear I’m back in the game. With Victrola, Gimlet, and The Empire as my flagship.
KC (Deanna Russo): Yeah, but a black and white ball? It’s so Hilton. Conrad, not Paris.
Chuck: I take your insult as flattering.
KC: Well don’t. People aren’t checking into the Empire for a black tie experience. They come to live like Chuck Bass. No rules, no repercussions.
Chuck: They still can. The hotel’s the same as ever.
KC: But you aren’t. When you disappeared you seriously damaged your brand. And the hotel has paid the price.

Blair: People do change. Not that I know if Chuck has since I rarely associate with him anymore.

Chuck: So what do you suggest?
KC: If you want to rebuild you need to commit to being the hedonist everyone loves to hate. No one wants a soft-hearted has-been who’s worried about dating Blair Waldorf.
Chuck: Trust me, a relationship with Blair is the furthest thing from my mind.

Anne: People may forgive the choices you’ve made in your past, but if you want this foundation in your future I’ll need some assurance that Charles won’t be a part of it.
Blair: He’s not even part of my present.

Vanessa: Blair’s pathological for sure, but half of what she does is to protect Serena. And she never pays consequences or takes responsibility.
Juliet (Katie Cassidy): Which is exactly why we need to turn everyone against Serena. So she finally knows what it feels like to be an outsider.
Jenny: Ah… I’d say you’re pretty expert at this yourself.
Juliet: I just like visual aids.

Blair: Don’t look at me like that. You’re the one that’s black and white and read all over.
Serena: How do you think that happened? I secret relationship.
Blair: But Chuck and I are not in a relationship. What are you, a foot fetishist? They’re done!
Serena: B, come on. You and Chuck have way too much history to interact in a casual way.

Blair: As for your devoted suitors, have you finally decided whom to crush?
Serena: No, and I have feeling for both. I don’t want to hurt either. I have a whole new appreciation for Big Love.
Blair: Well. Even in Utah only the men get to have more than one spouse. Which, I’ve come to realize, is extremely sexist.

Blair: So. Go forth to Madison and seek out the perfect dress. And then follow your heart to the perfect guy.
Serena: Okay, Sensei.

Blair: My black Balenciaga will be perfect to publicly condemn you.
Chuck: I love poplin.
Blair: I love condemnation.
Chuck: I love you.
Blair: Of course no one does black like Dior.

Gossip Girl: Attention Party People. Bass’ black and white has added some fire and ice. Whether you’re a saint or a sinner, the afterlife never looked so good.

Serena: Great. Now neither of these will work. Should I be a saint or a sinner?
Eric: Dan versus Nate was hard enough. I am not touching Good versus Bad Serena. We’ll see you later.
Elliot: We should go as Bacchus and Sergius.
Eric: Yes we should.

Blair: Okay, fine Dorota. Since you badgered it out of me, yes, it’s true. Chuck said he loved me while in a compromising position.
Dorota: He did?
Blair: He did.
Dorota: This is just like in book. When time traveler comes to declare love for lost princess.
Blair: Yes. But unlike your dirty, long-haired lothario, Chuck probably didn’t mean it. He simply blurted it out in the height of passion.
Dorota: But Mr. Chuck does not seem like blurter.
Blair: Well he’s obviously become one, and I did the polite thing and acted like I didn’t hear.
Dorota: You didn’t say “I love you” back?
Blair: And be a weak, sniveling “Stand by Your Man” who never runs a foundation or anything else? No! I’m an empowered woman and I won’t let three words that were probably meaningless change that.

Gossip Girl: Looks like the battle between Brooklyn and the Upper East Side has finally come to a head. Word has it Lonely Boy and Golden Boy both declared their love. They gave Cinderena until midnight to decide. That Carolina Herrera dress makes her look like an angel, but this decision is demonic. And the forces of evil are just getting started.

Door Guy: What was that name again?
Serena: Oh I’m sorry. I thought he told you. Serena van der Woodsen.
Door Guy: Nice try. But she’s already inside.
Serena: Well that’s a mistake because I’m her.
Door Guy: Sorry. Do you have ID?
Serena: I didn’t come to rent a car.

Blair: I heard what you said.
Chuck: What conversation are you referring to exactly?
Blair: Three one syllable words that, under the circumstances, you may or may not have meant.
Chuck: Do you want me to have meant them?
Blair: If they were true I would want to know. silence. Of course. People do lose their rational thought during sex. They bark and scream out for God and their mothers. I should get back to Anne.
Chuck: I meant it Blair. With all my heart. You going to say something this time?
Blair: I will. I mean… I do.
Chuck: In our life we can’t have everything. Anne won’t be the only person who might think you’re weak for forgiving me.
Blair: And you won’t build a business based on being New York’s bad boy bachelor.
Chuck: I understand the consequences. Are we willing to pay them?

Gossip Girl: Looks like saints and sinners aren’t the only ones battling for souls tonight.
Chuck: What say we go up in flames together.
Gossip Girl: It’s no surprise C and B succumbed to the dark side. But how about the boys from opposite sides of the bridge? It’s hard to get word when they’re both lip locked with Serena van der Woodsen. Lucky I have the pictures to prove it.

Blair: Shouldn’t empowered women get to have relationships too?

Blair: So Anne, Nate and Dan are all liars? That’s a lot of people to blame. Even for you. Just admit you did the wrong thing. Or maybe you don’t know what that is anymore.
Serena: You know, you’re not the first person to say that today so I guess it must be true. You know it was a bad choice thinking that you’d be on my side.
Blair: Not as bad a my believing that you’d ever be happy for my success.

Chuck: Just in time to hear KC tell me how I’ve destroyed my Bad Boy business plan once and for all.
KC: I warned you. But it turns out I was wrong. This party is so decadent—and the private rooms frankly illegal, the big romantic gesture showed the hedonist had a heart.
Chuck: So Blair’s the perfect balance.
KC: With the press this will get, you can expect the hotel will be fully booked by Monday.

Chuck: It appears the rules are there to be broken. Apparently we can have everything.
Blair: No, you can. I can’t.

Gossip Girl: In the battle between good and evil, score one for the sinners. Looks like S could end up the next saintly sacrifice. Pleasant dreams, sweet angel.

Chuck: I’ll give you the money to start whatever foundation you want.
Blair: It won’t change anything. Anne’s right. As long as I’m with you I’m Hilary in the White House. And I want to be Hilary, Secretary of State but… with better hair.

Chuck: Then you’ll find another way to show the world you’re a force to be reckoned with. We’ll build our futures together.
Blair: I followed my heart all last year and it led me nowhere. Now I need to follow my head.
Chuck: You don’t need to chose between them. Look at Brad and Angelina. They take turns on top.
Blair: Yeah, but she won an Oscar first. I’m sorry, but I have to be Blair Waldorf before I can be Chuck Bass’ girlfriend.
Chuck: I love you.
Blair: I love you too. I don’t expect you to wait.
Chuck: If two people were meant to be together, eventually they’ll find their way back.
Blair: Do you really believe that?
Chuck: I do.
Blair: So do I.

Gossip Girl: That’s the thing about destiny. Instead of too many choices, you suddenly have none. The Prince of Darkness finally sees the light, only to realize it’s no longer an option. And the time for love has come and gone. The rest of us just have to keep moving forward. Accept the choice is out of your hands. It’s up to the fates to decide. XOXO —Gossip Girl