Season 1 Homer: Is that a good siren? Am I approved? Cowboy Bob (A. Brooks): You ever known a siren to be good? No, Mr. Simpson, it's not. It's a bad siren. That's the computer in case I went blind telling me, "Sell the vehicle to this fellah and you're out of business." Cowboy Bob:…

Season 1 Patty: It's almost nine o'clock. Selma: Where is Homer anyway? Patty: It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all. Lisa: What, Aunt Patty? Patty: Oh nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father. Lisa: Well, I wish that you wouldn't. Because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties…

Season 1 Marge: I don't want to alarm anybody, but I think there's a little al-key-hol in this punch. Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in town. Marge: Maybe we should move to a larger community. Marge: I didn't realize there was so much to this game. What do…

Season 1 Patty: It's almost nine o'clock. Selma: Where is Homer anyway? Patty: It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all. Lisa: What, Aunt Patty? Patty: Oh nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father. Lisa: Well, I wish that you wouldn't. Because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties…

Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire Bart: There's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa. Homer: Oo, look! Pantyhose. Practical and alluring. Homer reciting reindeer names: Dasher... Dancer... Prancer... Nixon... Comet and Cupid... Donna Dixon? Teacher: Sit down, Simpson. Homer: What do you think, kids? Beauty isn't it? Selma:…

Season 1 Homer: Oo, look! Pantyhose. Practical and alluring. Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you. Why don't you eat something a little more nutritious. Homer: Nonsense, Marge. Frosty Krusty Flakes are what got him where he is today. It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Homer:…

Season 1 Bart: There's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa. Bart: KWYJIBO. K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. Twenty-two points. Plus triple word score. Plus fifty points for using all my letters. Game's over, I'm outta here. Homer: Wait a minute, you little cheater! You're not going anywhere until you tell me what…