Gone Maybe Gone 4 Months Ago Georgina Sparks: Could it be any hotter? It's a good thing you're not fair-skinned, otherwise your summer under the Tuscan sun would end up under a scalpel removing a melanoma. Dan: I know it was my idea, but why did I bring you to Italy? I should be at…

Yes, Then Zero Dan: Dad! What are you doing here? I thought you'd still be in London helping Jenny set up St. Martin's. Rufus: She and Eric kicked me out when I didn't know who Sierra Burton was, so I came back here early and thought I'd spend some time with you. Dan: It's Blair's…

Belles de Jour Vanessa: Your dad called me because he couldn't reach you. I told him to call Serena because I assumed she'd be with you. Because what other reason could there possibly be that you haven't called or emailed me all summer. Or making me have this conversation in the doorway. Dan: Vanessa, I'm…

Reversals of Fortune Dan: Our bags are packed, the house is closed up, but the real question remains: now that you've spent your whole summer drinking your coffee out of Cece's china will it taste as good coming out of your Welcome Back Kotter mug at home? Rufus: Sure it was great out here but…

Summer, Kind of Wonderful The story continues... Jeremiah Harris: I read from your favorite chapter. Or did you not notice? Dan: I've read that chapter so many time sometimes I think I wrote it myself. Harris: Speaking of, where's that story of yours? You know, the one your internship requires you turn in. Dan: Yeah,…

Pilot Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle): Welcome back. How was your weekend? How's your mom? Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen): She's fine. Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgely): She's good. Jenny: Fine and good. Dan: She's good and... fine. Rufus: Like "maybe I never should have left Manhattan", fine? Or "taking time off from my marriage was the best…

Richard: This is about sex! Molly: This is about romance. Richard: This is about you’re fired. Owen: Where is my roommate and what have you done with him? Roommate: Beatrice, my girlfriend from high school, is coming into town and she’s gonna be staying here— Owen: I’m sorry. Here? As in our very tiny little…

Owen: Well, I hope I’m not being un-PC or a little too OC to ask this, but did Richard Thorne spend the night last night? Natalie: Richard is fragile. Owen: He’s fragile like a fox. Zoe to Chris: No tape, no tap. Jake: This week’s video diary assignment: how much are you willing to risk…

Jake: So no passion is bad. And too much is bad. Richard: Sure. If you’re passionate about Maker’s Mark. Zoe kissing Richard: Too hard. Richard: What? Zoe: I’m searching for my passion. {kisses the coffee guy} Too soft. {kisses Chris} Just right. Chris surprised: Zoe. Zoe grabbing his hand: I misplaced my passion. See if…

Lee reading: “Film archive needs a typist.” Zoe: A woman should never admit that she can type. Lee: Feminism is keeping you down. This week’s video diary assignment: what’s the difference between sex and love. Does love make sex better, or does it get in the way of a good time? Owen: Usually I meet…

Richard: After the little fandango with the sex advice column I did a little soul searching. You'll be reading a kinder, gentler Bugle. Professor Macklin: This week’s video diary topic: Have you ever—knowingly—manipulated someone, sexually or otherwise? Have you ever been manipulated? What is it about sex that makes otherwise moral, decent people lie. Like…

Chris: I’d be working on biceps, bro. Lee: What’s up, Chris. Chris: You’re gonna need your strength. Baby in one hand, books in the other. Lee: Baby? Who told you that? Chris: Who told me? Who told everyone. Sexy Sadie. Lee: The column in The Bugle? Chris: “You can bitch about condoms all you want,…

Macklin: Last week we discussed the definition of sexual misconduct. This week let’s talk about responsibility. Whoever you had for sixth grade health—Ms. Franklin, Sister Peter Marie—what did they tell you about sexual responsibility? Natalie: Don’t get pregnant. Zoe: Or herpes. Owen: Yeah, and definitely never have sex in your girlfriend’s parents’ bed. No matter…

Professor Jake Macklin: Sex. Think back to your last sexual encounter. A month ago. This morning. Were you with a lover? A stranger? Were you by yourself? How did it make you feel? Excited? Guilty? Insatiable? Blissful? Discontented? Welcome to Sexual Behavior and the Human Condition. I’m Jake Macklin. and you are the lucky eleven—twelve—students…