Gossip Girl: While Upper East Siders are hitting the snooze button, Blair Waldorf had a rude awakening when the rooster crowed at dawn this morning. Blair: Never, in my 16,982 hours of schooling, have I ever been sentenced to detention. Serena: I can't believe you added up all the hours of class we've had. Makes…

Gossip Girl: True love and betrayal. Revenge and more revenge. A heroine with an impossible goal. If only Mozart had lived on the Upper East Side. But you can keep your magic fleet, Amadeus. All this Queen wants is a golden ticket to Yale. Harold (John Shea): Is Chuck joining us? You know how he…

Gossip Girl: Winter in New York: A Gossip Girl Checklist to Surviving the Cold. Cashmere stole for ice skating at Wollman Rink. Jacques Torres hot chocolate for window shopping the holiday displays. And the perfect date to the senior snowflake charity ball. Penelope (Amanda Setton): Oh. Hello Weird Documentary Girl. Vanessa (Jessica Szohr): Bye Sad…

Gossip Girl: For the rest of the country, Thanksgiving is when families come together to give thanks. But on the Upper East Side, the holiday thankfully returns to its roots: lying, manipulation and betrayal. And from what we hear, just like the Indians, someone else is being pushed out of their home. Blair: Even though…

Gossip Girl: There's nothing quite like Autumn in New York. But it's not only the leaves that change. Something in the air brings out the true colors in everyone. Bart (Robert John Burke): Did you get the little suit that I laid out for you, Serena? Serena: That was for me? I thought the housekeepers…

Gossip Girl: Wakey wakey, Upper East Siders. Welcome to the first day of senior year and the onset of a new social dynasty. The big question is: with Serena single and on top of the world, will Constance become the House of Van der Woodsen? Chuck: Humphrey was holding you back. You're a born queen…

Gossip Girl: In these last hazy days of summer, a few simple tips to beat the heat. One: drink plenty of fluids. Two: stay out of the sun. Three: limit all physical activity. That is, within reason. Marcus (Patrick Heusinger): I thought you wanted my help with this party you're hosting. Blair: A back-to-school party…

Gossip Girl: As summer comes an end, I'd like to share a few things I've learned about fun in the sun. Gossip Girl Summer Tip #1: Don't fall asleep on the job. The best hookups are free of morning breath and awkward conversation. The only thing harder than making up is waking up. Serena: It…

Serena: Hey Dan. I've been trying to reach you all night. I know it's early... or late if you haven't slept like me. But um, I'm pretty sure after this message I will have officially filled your voicemail so I... I'm coming over. Lily: Oh my. god. Rufus: Oh my god. Lily: What? Rufus: I…

Gossip Girl: In our modern age, when you call someone and can't find them you can be pretty sure they'll get the message. But if they don't call you back, it usually means they don't want to be found. Rufus: I don't know if you know this, but you can be a pretty judgmental guy.…

Gossip Girl: There are three things we do alone: we are born, we die, and if we're a high school junior headed for college, we take the SATs. And while the test is said to measure our best traits, preparing for it inevitably brings out the worst. Humility becomes self-doubt. Striving becomes obsession. Some are…

GG: On the Upper East Side it's easy to think the world is exactly as it appears. Refined. Elegant. Imposing. But sometimes all it takes is a little key to open the door to the wild side. Blair: Good catching up. Blair: Enough with the blackmail. Aren't you bored already? I can't avoid Nate forever.…

Blair: After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act it never happened. Thank god. Sorry. Truthfully I'm not even Catholic. Priest: You don't say.…

Blair: You want your dad to invest in a strip joint. How Midtown. Chuck: A burlesque club. A respectable place where people can be transported to another time. Where they can feel free to let loose. No judgment. Pure escape. What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola. Jenny: Dad, have you seen a bracelet? You…

Gossip Girl: Couture and canapé are just another Saturday night until you add a mask. But preparing for a ball is an event in itself. Which is why queens invented handmaidens. Dan: A ball? Rufus: Haven't you heard? Your sister's Cinderella. Dan: And let me guess, your wicked step-sister's Blair Waldorf. Serena: A masked ball?…