The Goldberg Variation
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Weems (Willie Garson): Guys. I think we’re going up instead of down. Guys? This is not what I meant by cashing out! Hey! Hey! They throw him off the roof.
Scully: Was this basement thoroughly searched?
Mulder: No. Technically, falling 300 feet and surviving isn’t a crime.
Scully: So your theory is?
Mulder: What if this man had some kind of special capabilities? Some kind of genetic predisposition towards rapid healing or tissue regeneration?
Scully: So basically what if we were looking for Wile E. Coyote.
Scully: Maybe he just got lucky.
Mulder: “What if he got really really lucky?” That’s your big scientific explanation, Scully? I mean how many thousands of variables would have to convene in just the right mixture for that theory to hold water?
Mulder: Your building super, Henry Weems, he isn’t around?
Maggie: Mr. Dependable? Might as well wait for Jimmy Hoffa to show up.
Mulder: Come on, Scully, you’re going to dump this case just as it’s getting interesting.
Scully: Interesting, Mulder, was when we were looking for Wile E. Coyote. Come on, Mulder. This guy just got lucky. There’s no X-File here.
Mulder: Maybe his luck is the X-File.
Scully: What the hell happened here, Mulder?
Mulder: Cause… and effect.
Mulder: How’s it feel to be the luckiest man in the Universe, Henry?
Henry Weems (Willie Garson): It’s a nightmare. You have no idea.
Mulder: No. I do. ‘Cause when you get lucky—really, really lucky—people around you tend to suffer. Is that right?
Weems: I think it’s a balance thing. Something good happens to me, someone else gets to take it in the keister.
Weems: Bunch of goomba jerks. They’ve got issues, man.
Weems: Am I under arrest?
Scully: No. But you do need protection from Cutrona and his men.
Weems: I’d say they need protection from me.